Project Guilt

An LGBTQ+ Screenwriting Project

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Happy Valentines! & 1-year of GUILT

It's been three long months since I last updated here, apologies for the longer than intended break.

The project has not been on the shelf entirely, and since the start of the new year, I have been slowly ramping up my work on finishing the overall three-year story.

As part of this work, I have been working towards creating the series bible for GUILT, and the development of this has led towards me desiring to update the website I created for the project and bring it into the modern time, alongside all of the assets and content I have spent the last year creating, which brings me towards the next point...

It has been a year since my soft-launch here on Tumblr! Without checking, I think this also coincides with the projects overall public anniversary, so I guess happy 1-year to GUILT!

For now, I will not be returning for the weekly posts, rather spending my time more wisely on actually writing, not one, but three potential projects!

As my work for Guilt has grown to have more solid foundations, I have decided to work on some smaller potential projects concurrently to help develop a starting portfolio of work, though GUILT is and will remain my priority focus for the foreseeable future

I only intend to write pilot screenplays for the other two projects, alongside rough outlines of their story. I may share more details on these at some later date, but for now I can share the following details...

A dystopian post-apocalyptic young adult series (Ohh... so unique!)

An adaption of a well-known and popular fantasy video-game series that I have a strong previous connection to (having already contributed to part of its playable lore for)

I look forward to being able to share much more with everyone this coming year, and hope to branch myself towards social media with myself and the project.

-Kai Kennedy

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Breaking my Friday post streak as I need to set aside some personal time from the project, something I've not really allowed myself for an unhealthy amount of time.

I'll be back in a few weeks after my much needed break.

-Kai Kennedy

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GUILT - Friday Blog #36 - Essential Watching #2

This week, we look ahead to Story 2, NOISE, about a brief fling between Thomas and Xander, a quiet friend of Max, who sets them up on a date. The influences for this story are not necessarily as obvious to me, as it kind of acts as an interval arc to the Thomas and Charlie long-term plot, whilst building on some parts of Thomas's character flaws.

1. DRUCK - Season 3

DRUCK's third season is by far my favourite of the SKAM international versions. The German take on the queer romance story of Isak x Even breaks the mould with an amazing diverting storyline, that is best left to be seen, but also leans into one of my favourite characterisations of Isak in general.

Matteo is just a typical moody teenager. He mopes about, he's a bit lazy, and he gets high as his means of drowning his sorrows rather than address them. He masks his true feelings behind a mask of apathy, but his new found desire in David is what brings him out of his shell and into a more compassionate person.

The mood compared to the original, SKAM, is much lighter, with the pair going through a more youthful and innocent chemistry, something that I have always seen in Thomas and Xander compared to Thomas and Charlie.

Thomas's naivety and desires are at battle with his developing unease and turmoil, and this leads him into finding comfort in Xander. Their story builds and unravels each others needs and desire in one another, but also their ultimate incompatibility.

2. Heartstopper - Season 2

Heartstopper is an great show with great messages, and it would be a disservice to it to not take note that there is certainly some form of inspiration from this series.

Its approach to not only representing a vast and diverse set of LGBTQ+ peoples, but to introducing some of these lesser known identities, is one of my hopes to compliment and explore in GUILT, but with a main difference in its focussed age-range and general tone.

Season 2 of Heartstopper really digs in deep into some meaningful exploration of Sexuality and Gender, and both of these are topics that show up in some form in NOISE, most notably in parallel to HS's Isaac with early and developing sense of self discovery vs GUILT'S Thomas who at some times is confused by feelings of reluctance with intimacy.

I have hope in this screenplay project is able to effectively explore these themes and topics in slightly more mature setting to the likes of Heartstopper, whilst relying less on dialogue to drive the conversation and more on character-to-character physical interactions.

-Kai Kennedy

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GUILT - Friday Blog #35 - Essential Watching #1

Having already shared a handful of queer medias and sharing some influences they had on the project, I wish to look closer at individual stories, to present a list of references for them, in both story/tone, and visually.

I'll be spending the next few weeks sharing these essential watch lists for the first season, starting with SENSE, GUILT's first story.

1. SKAM - Season 3, Episodes 1-4

The first few episodes of SKAM Season 3 revolve around Isak, a teenager coming to terms with his homosexuality whilst experiencing his first gay crush. The series is my strongest influence for GUILT, and spurred me to start developing it.

Being a similar coming-out and coming-of-age story, it has found a lot of overlap in the standard stories and events in a young persons life in a similar situation, and is well grounded in reality, with what I would define as realistic portrayals of real people.

The remainder of this season's episodes remain influences on later stories, which I have attributed them to Thomas and Charlies relationship in general.

SKAM's format follows a different Main character each season, so you are able to pick it up on Season 3 without any further context, this is in fact how I watched it at first, before watching the entire Series through, which I would also highly recommend also.

The series has numerous international remakes, most following the general plot with its own takes on the Isak storyline, of which each has its own charm and aesthetic, it is honestly worth watching them all, but for GUILT, and Thomas and Charlies relationship, the original Norwegian SKAM is a perfect reference.

2. Closet Monster (2016)

Thomas's is sexually repressed when we meet him. He is anxious and traumatised as a result of a catastrophic coming out experience, and it sticks in his head like a screw being tightened. Closet Monster has a great portrayal on the subject matter, with some striking imagery and the films strained father-son relationship.

3. Close (2022)

Pushing away someone you are affectionate of, to appear part of the status quo, is something that Thomas certainly feels guilty about doing with Charlie in SENSE, straining their relationship for sake of not have to come out to his friends.

Possibly a more bleak-leaning representation of coming-of-age stories, but a powerful watch anyway, this film shows a story of these deflecting social dynamics of sexuality, and the transition from the innocence of youth to the turmoil of adolescence.

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GUILT - Friday Blog #34 - Essential Listening #3

WAVES has gone through a few changes since its first outline, but has settled into a bookend of sorts for Thomas and Charlies main relationship, though not particularly the end of their story.

This term centres around a pivotal event during a Eurovision watch party, the majority of WAVES musical journey lifts a lot from different songs from the past 10ish years of Eurovision entries, as Thomas experiences his first 'Gay Christmas' as Max would introduce him to it.

Between the typical high-energy vibes of this Eurovision soundtrack, a few albums otherwise stick out as story-building references though.

1. Aurora - What Happened to the Heart? (2024)

Romantic, Peaceful, Joyous, Aurora never fails to put out anything other than pure art, and this is the visual themes I have for WAVES. The romantic summer-time vibes of the story make for a perfect matching of sound and image, drawing scene inspirations from Call Me By Your Name (2017), Watercolors (2008) and Closet Monster (2016).

2. Declan McKenna - What Do You Think About the Car?

Honest, Deep and Youthful, this album helps to reflect the step back from his feelings of angst that Thomas started the year with.

Now towards the end of his first year, Thomas is more comfortable in himself than ever before. The ability to talk his mind freely, and say what he needs to say is apparent across WAVES, something that Declan lyrically portrays in this amazing album of societal critique and contemplation.

3. Kid Wise - L'innocence

Melancholy, Artistic and Spacious, undoubtably one of the most expressive albums in my arsenal.

Drifting between a range of emotions, from pain and sorrow to longing and desire, it's easy to see Thomas buttered all across L'innocence, gradually shifting between his states of uncertainty and naivety, towards finally being at peace with himself.

-Kai Kennedy

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GUILT - Friday Blog #33 - Essential Listening #2

Story Two of GUILT, named NOISE, is set a couple of months after the events of SENSE. The break up between Thomas and Charlie still lingers in his head, and Thomas is struggling with university. After meeting a friend of Max, the creative writing student Xander, they click, with Max setting them up on a date. SENSE follows the few turbulent weeks of their relationship.

1. Woodkid - The Golden Age (2013)

Romantic, Reflective and Orchestral, this album is a symphonic blend of poetry and discord, channelling sombre feelings of pain and loss that teeters on the edge of celebration and joy. Woodkid is able to create something of a religious experience out of this fusion of orchestral journeys and experimental folk, and it works incredibly well of Xander and Thomas's story, who both are at stages of self-growth and learning that allow them to find comfort in each other.

2. Gus Dapperton - Orca

Angsty, Poignant and Melancholy, Orca leaves behind the past and addresses the now, mumbling through various worries, and sometimes just screaming out loud, venting off the stress and pains of inner torment.

Thomas through Season 1, especially NOISE, is a tangled mess, constantly trying to grasp at order in a sea of mess and clouded thoughts. This angst towards his father and friends, and mounting stresses of university life, are piling on at every turn.

Orca is an unpredictable journey through that parallels Thomas' experiences, demonstrating his unstable and changing emotions that never know which direction they could go next.

3. Steam Powered Giraffe - The 2¢ Show

Forgoing typical buzzwords for this choice, this is entirely down to my adoration for the art, and the artists. Steam Powered Giraffe I feel needs no introduction in the world of Tumblr, but outside I feel is most certainly a hidden treasure, that deserves so much more recognition for the sheer creative efforts put into the every aspect of the band and its music.

I was introduced to SPG by a member of the university LGBTQ+ society I was part of, and I was mesmerised from the get go by 'Brass Goggles'.

In NOISE, one key scene is Thomas browsing through Xander's blog after their first date, and happening upon a song by SPG, amongst other plot-narrative details. He records a cover of one of their other songs, which Xander later requests he plays for him, a scene influenced by SKAM FRANCE's S3 piano scene.

More specifically for this scene, 'Honeybee' from this album is such a powerful choice for one scene, though is not the only music choice of which that is put to paper in my overall NOISE soundtrack.

Xander encouraging Thomas to share and open up with his singing and musical abilities is a primary character building moment, in his series-spanning storyline of growing as a person and learning who he is and wants to do with his life.

-Kai Kennedy

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GUILT - Friday Blog #32 - Essential Listening #1

Note - Re-uploaded due to Tumblr's atrocious content flagging.

By now, I feel I have rambled at great lengths about the music of GUILT, and already shared the first working soundtrack for SENSE.

In my aims to make learning about the project more accessible, in a pitch-ready states, I have been looking at simplifying down my tonal ideas to a handful of albums, that could be listened to, and with those get a feel for each story.

This week, I share a few Albums that would be considered essentially listening for the first story, SENSE.

1. Goldfrapp - Supernature (2006)

Seductive, Alluring and Ethereal, this album encapsulates a feeling of longing. I see a lot of Thomas in the tracks of Supernature, his desire to be wanted is all he wants at the start of his journey.

2. Tom Odell - Long Way Down (2013)

Raw, Brooding, Heartfelt, and unapologetically painful at times, Long Way Down always stuck out to me like a perfect summary of Thomas and Charlies relationship.

Thomas' naivety and Charlies forward nature seem to be at odds off and on, not just in Story one, but throughout the whole of GUILT. This album touches on a number of themes and emotions, in particular, the track 10, Sense, which really breaks through and almost describes Thomas' state of being. It feels like fate that I found this track to stand out amongst all others in my first named story of SENSE.

3. The 1975 - I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it (2016)

Atmospheric, Contemplative and a little Adventurous, I like it when you sleep... is a full journey between thoughts, feelings, love, hate, apathy and angst, but a feeling of freshness and becoming binds it together.

Ignoring the numerous controversies surrounding the lead singer, the album sets a good tone for so many parts of SENSE. New beginnings, found love, loss of self, and a slathering of social commentary, it reads the room perfectly. Track 10, Somebody Else, was possibly one of the first tracks I connected to GUILT, being a track introduced during a mastering session at University, and stuck with me since.

Although most of the tracks originally in mind for the soundtrack of SENSE have since been cut, the essences and inspiration of its tones bleed through a lot.

PROJECT STATUS

I have decided, following the completion of my first storyboard, that I am 100% comfortable with this direction for the project as a screenplay, and this will now be my full focus. For me, the storyboard was really a visual proof-of-concept, and has kind of made me realise how granular of a view I have for practically every single scene of the series, and that I shouldn't feel too out of my depth anymore in considering the viability of the story or my overall plan to make this a TV style series..

At least until Season One is written, I am unlikely to put much further effort into the Wattpad side-project, as it is more of a time distraction. I will continue it at a time in the future, when I have more content to share at once, rather than drip feeding it.

I have pulled my head out of the sand, and am addressing my overall series plan with the changes I have racked up over the course of the year. I have around 25-30 pages of organised changes, alterations, storylines and characters that I need to work on, before I can continue writing properly.

I have also started work on a series bible, that is in basic terms, the industry standard presentation for what your series is about. It is my advert to an industry I wish to get GUILT into.

There is a lot of work to do on it, bringing it together, collating all of my work and thoughts and ideas into one place, but once it is done, it is ready to share with those I need to. This will unfortunately never be publicly available, but is an essential chunk of work I need to put a considerable time into.

Until I run out of ideas for new blog posts, I will continue feeding music and film suggestions here, ontop of the regular project updates, but may start letting myself take breaks from time to time if I get a little lost in thought.

-Kai Kennedy

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GUILT - Friday Blog #31 - 1st Scene Storyboard

Following the previous weeks example work on storyboarding, this week I have looked into steering more towards traditional storyboarding for an entire scene. Presenting as a slightly abridged version of the first scene of episode 1 of SENSE, these are the first boards I have created as examples for the project.

Compacting the dialogue seems to squash the pacing a bit, but being able to visualise the primary actions is satisfying. I feel this proof of concept acts more to confirm I am on the right track, in the least, and hopefully proves what I am working towards.

But anyway, a short and sweet week, so, as Sally would say, toodles!

-Kai Kennedy

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GUILT - Friday Blog #30 - Storyboarding and Visual Examples

After finishing character design, I fell back into developing imagery for specific scenes. I have very strong images in mind of how I want some of the most notable scenes to look, and have tried in the past to create a few examples, but was difficult without a lot of the groundwork, especially example character designs, set in stone.

Now having finished the projects designs to use for visual introductions of characters, I have looked onto creating sets, effectively virtual staging to take images of characters in, so before a breakdown of my recent work, this week I wish to introduce my first attempt at a storyboard of sorts.

This storyboard example, set at the fictional Sarajevo Nightclub, shows Thomas tasting freedom to be himself for the first time in his life, and loosely introducing a mysterious character across Season 1.

It is the first of what I refer to as 'highlight' scenes of the series, what I imagine being an artistic break from what would otherwise be a standard drama-shot series.

I don't at present see me doing these storyboards for EVERY scene, but I do wish to create them for some of the more 'highlighted' scenes for each episodes.

Storyboarding Process

However amateurish it appears, using The Sims 4 to create characters and sets has allowed me a lot of creative outlet to just writing, and in a lot of ways also helped me to figure out a lot of interactions and such between characters during specific scenes in mind.

Its not perfect, but with a humungous modding scene, has given me a lot of the tools I need to actually treat it like an actual shoot with a variety of sets and characters. GB's upon GB's of mods flood my game install, from clothing to props, posing and positions controls and a variety of QoL mods to ease its use for my purpose.

The most time-heavy part to achieve the above example was set design. I have essentially created a full scale, intricately designed and decorated nightclub, and filled it with life, with plenty of areas to shoot a virtual storyboard with. I have also done this also for a few other locations from the project, but the nightclub was a high priority for detail, as a one of the only constant locations across the entire series, with a large number of important scenes playing out.

With a handful of sets complete, and most of the main characters fully developed and costumed, I can start playing around more with creating sample storyboards. My primary goal currently is to create more visual examples for the project, in preparation for the next stage in publishing the project, and before the next part of Guilt Season 1's scripting is underway.

-Kai Kennedy

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GUILT - Friday Blog #29 - Film Recommendations #4

Diversity is the focus of this weeks recommendations, so here are a selection of queer films that do well to explore diversity alongside the typical coming-of-age themes that influence and inspire me.

Hoje Eu Quero Voltar Sozinho (The Way He Looks)

A sweet little Brazilian flick, and perhaps one of the more well known international LGBTQ+ films, about a blossoming relationship between two friends. To basic, this films lead character is blind, and living on his own, without saying much more. The relationship that develops between the friends is nothing but wonderful. A must watch.

A escondidas (Hidden Away)

One of my go-to rewatches, a magnetising film about first love. The main character from Spain falling for an undocumented Moroccan migrant, bringing forward issues of racism and highlights well societies stigmatism to immigration.

Punch

A recent watch of mine, where I thought it was slightly simple in narrative, but did well to do things differently to other films of the genre. The two contrasting leads live vastly different lives, one, a masculine boxer trying to live up to his alcoholic fathers image, the second, an out and effeminate Māori singer and town outcast. It loosely touches on a plethora of issues, from alcoholism, toxic masculinity and identity, but shines in its main characters surprising caring nature blossoming. As a trigger warning though, it does feature a scene of sexual assault, so does have heavier themes to sit through.

Diversity in GUILT

University for many is a time of self-learning as much as it is a time to learn about others. When I started, I feel that I hadn't fully matured from the closed-off-mindsets I was stuck in from my early life and surroundings. Politics and individuality I fear were never my strong points, and I'd always found socialising on a serious level difficult, and spent most of my younger years feeling like a bit of a sheep following the flock.

So starting university, having a fresh start, meeting so many new people and being able to integrate with these many varied voices from all sorts of backgrounds really helped me to mature up, quite quickly. So many new situations, self realisations and fresh-perspectives awakened me, and I feel I was able to leave behind the less caring person I feel I used to be.

Diversity is an element of GUILT that I hope to enable properly, where it is something to be learned and accepted, rather than ignored or taken for granted. Sexuality, gender identity, race, culture, class, age, disability, there are so many elements of diversity that are woven throughout the projects stories, pulled from my own experiences.

-Kai Kennedy

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GUILT - Friday Blog #28 - 1 Year Public Recap

I have spent the last week reflecting on the screenwriting project, and how GUILT has evolved and expanded since sharing it to the wider world a year ago. For those that are not here for the word-wall, a little something I can share using the assets I have been creating this week, the Year One character spread.

Characters of GUILT

I've been creating/editing individual character assets for use across a handful of materials, so a season cast/character reveal felt a good first use for them.

The central characters, Thomas, Charlie and Xander are towards the middle of the group. Main cast are positioned towards the front and recurring towards the back.

To the left, the LGBTQ+ Society and Sally the Drag Queen, to the right, the course friends group and teaching staff of Music Tech.

Season 1 features an ensemble of these 16 characters, though many more, main and recurring, characters are to be introduced throughout GUILT.

Season 2 introduces 10 more characters, including...

Thomas's younger brother, and father. These are not revealed fully in Season 1 due to a difficult home relationship.

A future romantic interest, that spans a number of stories.

The VC, a major figure in the story, that encompasses the S2-S3 stories, acting as a primary antagonist, of sorts.

A new main member of the LGBTQ+ Society.

The bar manager of Bodiam Castle queer pub.

Season 3 further introduces another 7 characters, though most of these are minor occurring characters

- 1 Year Recap -

Continuing onwards towards my year in recap, and overall state of the project, there have been so many changes and so much work down, I had to split these notes up into sections. Call this a technical changelog, I suppose, as it details most of my activities completed across the year past, across most aspects of the series.

Project Changes

I launched a Wattpad this year, and started publishing the first of 9 stories.

Launched this blog at the same time, documenting weekly happenings to the story, my thought processes, influences, and medias I have created for the project.

I made a decision to not adapting in parallel to a novel, and focus entirely on the screenplay.

Created many assets for the project, to use as both flavour visuals, and promotional materials. This is my temporary focus before moving on with the screenwriting process.

Upcoming updates to an old webpage, where I can collate all public information on the project, share more about its characters and stories, and generally act as a one-stop-shop for all interested parties to learn about the project, and its working status.

Series Planning

Entire series episode structure finalised. Each story covers 3 episodes, and 3 stories feature per season. 3 seasons of 9 episodes + the following...

A pilot-style episode precedes Season 1, covering the first few weeks of Sense, acting as a series introduction to story and characters.

A prologue episode follows the end of the 9th and final story in Season 3, wrapping up the few final overall story threads.

Every Season has its own planned title, as does every story, and each individual episode.

Most characters and locations have been created and developed.

Episode scripts are to float around 45-60 minutes runtime as a general estimate currently, though I believe I may be grossly over this estimate at page per minute, but some already planned trims may manage this better.

In progress of shifting from office suites to industry standard software, Final Draft. Once done, fully screenplays for Sense will be made publicly available

Story Progress

The first story, Sense, is complete, though is soon to undergo a number of minor revisions, before proceeding on to Nerve. Most of the changes here will involve moving the first few weeks into its own introduction episode, and changing up the pacing and introductions to characters through freshers week.

Stories 2, 3 and 4 are scene-by-scene ready, with most dialogues outlined, ready to adapt.

Stories 5-9 are partially scene-by-scene complete, some parts are even fully written already, but being so far ahead, I'm not ready to set these in stone yet.

I launched this project last year on my 5th revision of the project, my first full start-to-end picture of the story. By the time I posted to Wattpad, I had expanded on many characters and and tweaked their stories further, into a 6th revision.

With Sense complete, as my opening story, I am sat on a plethora of minor changes to whole characters, and settling into a theme for the seasons, that essentially now becomes Revision 7. This revision predominantly addresses the overall storyline regarding the relationships between Thomas and both his younger brother and father. It also shifts the project and its theme towards a music-orientated approach, with Thomas being musical on a creative level.

A soundtrack for Season 1 has been created and refined numerous times, though is currently up-to-date for the newer music-heavy theme of the story, and focussing on LGBTQ+, lesser known, British artists, and personal taste. Listen to the first stories, SENSE's, soundtrack here.

A possible future follow-up/spin-off project has been initially planned, it would follow Thomas's younger brother starting at university, exploring a whole different topic, disability. It is only simply a growing list of thoughts on a page for now.

Thankyou, and sorry, if you actually stayed to trawl through this chaotic list of changes.

-Kai Kennedy

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GUILT - Friday Blog #27 - One Year Public, and Final Volume Covers.

Today marks a whole year since taking this project semi-public, so it's GUILT's cake day! 🎂🥳

Keeping things short and sweet this week, I have taken my down-time before continuing into Volume 2's publishing to produce the remainder of my covers for the project.

Each individual cover is inspired by an image in my head from it's story, and although some later covers features characters yet to be introduced, they are vague enough to not really spoil any plots. Consider them 'flavour' images of the project.

The first pilot episode of Season 1 will have a cover produced in future, and a final episodes post Season 3 will also have its own cover, but for now, this post is only for the individual Volume's of the story, three for each season.

Technical details of how I created the covers, for anyone interested -

All edited in Photopea.

Characters were created in modded Sims 4, using a multitude of pose-packs and clothing assets.

Characters were posed in well-lit green coloured rooms in Sims, so I could key out the background in Photopea.

All other images, backgrounds and effects were created from scratch from within Photopea.

The only other image used was a royalty free photo of the moon, that has been edited and stylised to fit the imagery.

Finally, a variety of colour grading and blending effects were used to create a distinct visual look to make all covers match one-another, as part of a set.

Thanks for a great year :)

-Kai Kennedy

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GUILT - Friday Blog #26 - Film Recommendations #3

Family is a considerable part of Thomas's story, and to wrap off some film recommendations circling loosely around parent-child relationships, I am going to quick fire a few more films that I would highly recommend, that somewhat resonate with GUILT's family stories.

Jongens (Boys) - 2014

A somewhat charming little Dutch coming-of-age film, Jongens follows a teen from a household of similar makeup to Thomas, a father and brother, as he discovers himself. It's a pleasant, simple watch with some nice cinematography, nothing too heavy.

Baisers cachés (Hidden Kisses) - 2016

A heavier approach to family life and intolerances lays bare in this French film. I feel it tackled a lot of areas that most other films of the genre shy away from, with a few stories and subplots of different characters weaving in throughout. Conflicting father-son relationships and toxic masculinity leave this film feeling bittersweet.

Giant Little Ones - 2018

This welcome twist of the narrative plays more into the perceptions and social stigmatisms of sexuality. I love this flick, as it doesn't fall into the usual coming-of-age narrative, and the main character is the one with issues to overcome. The relationship with his father (OG Paul Atreides!) is a side-story favourite for me, but the whole film is a bit of a treat, and introduced me to Kid Wise (the credits music), which has worked its way into my daily music mix, as my working GUILT soundtrack.

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GUILT - Friday Blog #25 - Project Title Reveals & Other.

TITLE REVEALS

In my downtime between working on the script, and addressing lots of minor changes here and there, my focus has drifted back and forward between so many elements of the stories and characters.

Sometimes, maybe a lot of times, I find myself lost in many thoughts, blurring the lines of how I want to make each story distinct. I spent some time looking ahead at each story, and each season, and considered my intended tones and themes for each story. Using these descriptors, and exploring many other concurrent topics and creative decisions I have behind-the-scenes, I've now set in stone my project titles.

TITLE DESIGN

The first major choice was word design. I have always wanted to represent my stories in basic words, and by chance, all three year one stories fit this wish by being 5 simple letters, each. I had plans for story titles, but never really felt they fit, so like this season one, I worked on matching up some themes and creating a massive document of all my ideas.

Second choice, each word needs to reflect something meaningful to the story it represents, not revealing much, but hinting at its tone. Year One is a good example.

SENSE is about feeling, and experiencing.

NOISE is loud, it's mixed messages and that voice in your head that won't shut-up.

WAVES can be calm or turbulent, and different waves cross paths. Waves push forwards so there is little turning back.

Third choice, the title of each year, each trilogy of stories, to tie them together. They already share long-running themes that run across each year, and working on these alongside story titles helped to pave the path ahead, each being a simple 10 letters, more specifically two 5-letter words.

SHORELINES deals with being on the edge, not wanting to step forward into the water, but having the power to whenever.

HEARTBEATS is about the feeling of being overwhelmed, whether for the good or bad. The butterflies you get when you see someone, or the racing thumps you get in fight-or-flight mode.

NIGHTSKIES is the closing trilogy, and is typically darker, colder, but not necessarily in a bad way. Looking up at the vastness of space can be pleasant, or sombre.

Forth, and finally, Thomas, originally being based off myself, studies a similar branch of education, Music Technology. I want to incorporate this part of him into something that shapes him rather than a matter of fact. The concept for the show recently has heavily leaned into being a music-driven screenplay, with Thomas himself and those around him making and sharing music, together for studies, for socialising, and for Thomas, as a personal emotional outlet. My inner audio-nerd emerges fully in the secondary meanings of each story title, and more apparently in the individual episode titles.

SENSE secondary meaning is the route that sound travels through the ear. Episode titles (1) Conch (2) Bone and (3) Shell each refer to anatomy of the external, middle and inner ear.

NOISE episodes (1) Malleus (2) Incus (3) Stapes are the three bones of the ossicles, the bones in the middle ear, the bones that amplify a sound.

WAVES episodes (1) Sound (2) Pressure (3) Levels describe the physical sound wave that travels through the ear.

These references continue theme in each season, with HEARTBEATS utilising microphone terminologies, and NIGHTSKIES using elements of audio processes.

MIDLANDS UNIVERSITY

Finally, this week, I'd like to share a little more of what I have been working in, which is fleshing out where Thomas studies. Though the first year of studies doesn't address much into the university, Season 2 onwards introduces wider stories, as Thomas becomes more engaged with his role and responsibilities he undertakes in the society.

Some basic choices in characterising this university, that will help shape plenty of design and narrative choices going forward.

The fictional MIDLANDS UNIVERSITY is a high-profile university in a un-named, or even fictional city within the British Midlands, much like Truham or Moordale, from 'Heartstopper' or 'Sex Education' respectively.

MIDLANDS UNIVERSITY is known as a league-table topping sports university, and its sports societies are often seen as the universities prize assets.

The university mascot is a FOX. Its imagery and influence is commonly seen across campus, on buildings, banners. Societies and sporting teams use this logo or imagery in their designs.

I have spent some time designing the university logo in the style of other UK universities, finding a balance between the traditional crest design and more modern simplistic styles. The fox head is formed of the initials of the university, a design choice that has already helped in creating some other inspired society logos, such as GameSoc and LGBTQ+, that I will reveal when their designs are finished.

FINAL NOTES

This is the first week since start I have not even edited a segment on wattpad, let along post a new segment. Rest assured though, I have been working hard on the story in the background, I just want to finish getting the finer details in place before picking and updating bits in the already published first story.

The last week, ontop of my title and logo work, I have been working on the father/son story that runs throughout the series, and its direction. NOISE and WAVES have also been adjusted and improved in specific areas ahead of adapting, taking onboard a number of narrative changes that have been run through SENSE so far. Lastly, the entire end of the GUILT saga has been plotted, expanded from lines to paragraphs. It looks like I will be ending the project with a whole episode length epilogue at this point, rather than a smaller scale initial plan. The final episode of the 9th story just kind of ended on graduation, and a brief fast-forward montage of sorts, and felt there were a few missing pieces. The more I fit these pieces into the planned epilogue, the more points and stories I have found could converge and resolve during it finally, so I have spent the last day drafting that episode.

So now, the project seems to be settling well, with an introductory episode covering Thomas's start to university, 9 stories of 3 episodes, each covering their own timeframes in a different term of study, and a final epilogue episode to wrap everything up.

-Kai Kennedy

[projectguilt]

GUILT - Friday Blog #24 - Film Recommendations #2

Throughout the projects development, GUILT tunes in and out of Thomas's family life, which from the start of the story is strained. Little is mentioned of Thomas's family picture early on, though family is still something that troubles Thomas, and his acceptance from them, without needing to say it explicitly, is all he ever wants. His earlier attempted coming out with his father severely dented his relationship with him, and the confidence in himself.

This is the overall focus of GUILT. A late teen away from home for the first time, exploring himself and queer life, with a fractured and unaccepting family.

This weeks film recommendation tackles this subject incredibly well, with a religious backdrop.

Prayers For Bobby is a gut-wrenching film, based on a true story of a mother who's intolerant religious views push her gay son away and towards his end. The film follows her coming to terms with his death, and her views on her faith.

Sigourney Weaver is a guilty pleasure of mine, and is one of my favourite actors, hands-down. Prayers For Bobby was another early LGBTQ+ film for me, and I doubt I would of even taken notice of it, had I not seen Sigourney Weaver's name plastered over it.

I never took Sigourney as a drama actor, growing up in awe of her in Alien, Holes, Ghostbusters etc... however, the casting was absolutely perfect, and she delivers such a painful and emotive performance, it's difficult to even consider it having been anyone else.

I admit, it has been a long time since I watched Prayers For Bobby, and that is simply because it is... depressing? It is a story that sticks with you, and hits hard, although it is completely necessary viewing.

I see parts of its narrative as glimpses across GUILT, the first and most important of which is what I personally refer to as 'the event', the explosive shouting match Thomas has with his father before the start of the story. There are a lot of examples across media of a bad coming out story between a child and their parent, but this films example is just so to the point, so rejecting, so certain in it's choice of words, that I can't see anything in 'the event' other than the coming out scene from Prayers For Bobby.

This influenced my handling of coming out, and 'the event' to be so different, because it's been done so perfectly, so many times across media before, so in SENSE, it has happened already, off-screen, right before the story starts, and it changed Thomas to an extent that he can barely think about, let alone consider, coming out again.

The most influential elements of 'the event' stick with him, and when it is bought up, it is only the parts, the actions, and the precise words that stuck with Thomas. It is my plan to reveal Thomas's account of the coming out throughout GUILT's first three volumes, dealing entirely with its fallout and ramifications, rather than its actual occurrence.

-Kai Kennedy

[projectguilt]

GUILT - Friday Blog #23 - Major Project Update

This week, with the publication of the final segment of Sense, I have decided to spend some breathing time, before starting to publish the next story, to lay some groundwork going forward.

PEN-NAME

Firstly, and most importantly to note, after many months, if not years, of consideration, to publish under a 'pen name'. The political climate is worrying for LGBTQ+ people, and naturally, my choice to use a working author name is more to create a barrier of some personal security. After some reflection and figuring things out, I have come up with my pen-name.

Kai Kennedy, is from now my working name.

VOLUME COVER #1

Now, with Pen-name under the belt, I've decided, before revising story 1 with my ever increasing list of narrative changes, to take some creative time away, and work on the visual image of the series. I intend to have the first year's covers (the first three stories), set in stone in the next week, though I am in the process of planning the full 9 story arc's designs.

For now, here is my first 'official' cover style release. There may be some minor changes, however I'm quite comfortable with this as the chosen theme.

PROJECT FUTURE

I'm not sure currently on the timings of starting the next chapter of GUILT. I would like to start it with immediate effect, however with the vast list of narrative changes I have jotted down to implement after completion of SENSE, I think it may be best to take a temporary pause, until I have sorted these out.

I have a number of changes to SENSE, that I feel I should address now, earlier into the project, rather than later, so I am likely to hold off on working on NOISE, until the relevant parts are altered and updated.

I am also now, financially committed to this project, having invested into appropriate industry standard screenwriting software, Final Draft. This has encouraged me to spend some time moving my project over to this software, learning, and streamlining all of my various works, into this one software.

Hopefully, in the long term, this will mean I will be able to work better, faster, and more efficiently on GUILT. As for novelised versions, I am uncertain on my ability to prioritise this going forward. I know the Wattpad published segments are not perfect or formatted appropriately to say the least. My screenplay side of the project is my priority, and now I will be able to be more confident in these, and actually be able to share, with literary confidence.

I think it is important now to confirm, I do not believe my Wattpad published parts and stories will ever be released as a read-ready format. My goal is a televised screenplay, and I am so excited to be able to share my story and its progress along the way, but my writing ability, admittedly, does not extend that far.

My main aim in this project, is for GUILT to be written and presented as a three season TV show. Whatever path this project takes me, I may only hope that my path may be blessed to cross with someone more literary-focused than I, who can do justice to these stories, and publish them as a novelised adaption, free from clunky screen-play format and grammatical errors.

PUBLISHING GOALS

For now, I shall continue to publish, revise and format my parts of GUILT publicly on Wattpad, as a scene-by-scene screenplay formatted story. I have considered condensing what I share, to focus more on single story-arcs rather than overall, but for now, I will continue as is.

I warn however, elements of the story, such as scenes, characters or whole story arcs, are likely to shift and adapt, as I work further on later narrative elements. I will attempt best to diarise any major changes here.

At this time also, I do not have confidence that I will publish the entire story publicly. Three stories cover a year of study in GUILT and each year has a loose over-arching story. The first year-long story arc is quite a sealed deal when introducing the concepts, themes and characters of the series, but following on from there may prove difficult due to my goals of a televised-style series. I wish to retain it's future stories and reveals for visual media. I feel this will mean only selective publishing of written segments of stories 4 though 6, and completely retaining 7 though 9.

This may be disappointing to anyone in future who may grow to love this project and its characters, for whatever reason, however I need to put my goals and how to achieve them at the forefront of any choice available to me. As such, I am now fully onboard to complete Season 1 as a public story. Each of the first Three volumes will be made public in full. From there, I will hopefully have my complete foundation to pursue the project towards its intended format.

Any input, feedback, comment or creative forwarding from anyone would be much appreciated, at any point of this projects progress. I truly wish to be able to create and share something both reflective of my own experiences, whilst exploring and nurturing a growing environment for various queer stories, that I only could wish I had available to me when I was younger, coming to terms with myself, as an LGBTQ+ person.

-Kai Kennedy

[projectguilt]

GUILT - Friday Blog #22 - Film Recommendations #1

I have spoken about some queer TV series and characters in some detail at this point, but not really touched on Movies.

It's easier to see and compare similarities in characters in series as you have much longer timeframes to learn about them and get so much more development, but movies shine in their focus on singular stories.

To start filling in some gaps in my weekly blogs, I will start highlighting some queer movies that have in some way influenced me over the past decade or so, that have stuck with me into this project.

This week, I'll introduce you to Closet Monster, Stephen Dunn's 2016 Canadian drama.

Closet Monster was likely my first proper queer movie, I had never really been exposed to, or had the opportunity to watch, any LGBTQ+ medias growing up, and never really had any thought to go looking for any. I had been watching Falling Skies and Hannibal around this time, so to see Connor Jessup and Aaron Abrams, from those respective series, starring in this up-coming project, peaked my interest a little, and soon after its release, I dived in and paid for a digital copy.

What else could I say about this film but painfully beautiful. It perfectly encapsulated my feelings towards my sexuality, which at the time, was still very new to me, even being into my 20's by then.

Topically, it deals with feelings of repression, homophobia, first love and the death of the past, letting go of these negative feelings and memories that hold you back.

Having a story like this dealing with the burden and anxiety of a repressed individual was necessary for me personally to grow. The major part of this that reflects well in the GUILT project is most certainly the repression, featuring a very strong creative visual aspect to reflect this. The first episode of GUILT, as a pilot and introductory episode, tackles the main character dipping his toes into the water and running away. The following first season revolves around cautiously integrating into his queer life, and being held back by the nagging feeling in his head. Repression is everywhere for Thomas Marsh, so Closet Monster is a perfect reference to the issues I want to address.

Feeling understood by a random film was almost revelational to me, and opened up pandoras box of queer media. I spent the next few years scouting out any and all films that deal with coming out and devoured them all, and when I exhausted what was available, I moved towards TV media.

-C