Project Jeremy Diary of a new mom

Diary of a new (wannabe) mom, describing our adventure of trying to make our first baby.

[projectjeremy]

Oh oh, is this for real?

Dear Jeremy, We are 1 week down the road, knowing of your excistence and it's been intersting so far... I feel so tired, that i even missed some days at work, and the hormones are really starting to kick in (read: crying, A LOT). Dad is slowly adjusting to the idea. In proper daddy logic "after 1 week you can say it's for real". We've made our first appointment with the midwife, in about 3 weeks hopefully we'll find out that all is good and we can see you heartbeat for the first time. I say heartbeat, but somewere in the back of my mind it says "heartbeats". I somehow have the feeling there might be 2 of you! We had the funeral of your great-granddad yesterday and it was pretty sad, so I'm really looking forward to bringing he good news of you upcoming arrival to our family. Now grow grow grow little bean! See you soon, Love mom.

[projectjeremy]

Dear Jeremy,

I think we can be pretty sure by now that i’m actually pregnant. It’s still quite a shock, and obviously I have already turned into a worried mess reading about everything that could go wrong from here. Daddy is reacting as expected, he needs some time to adjust to changes :) but he is happy too. Called the dr. this morning, and according to proper Duth tradition nobody is really inclined to do anything and I should come by for an appointment in about 4 weeks… Lovely.

Looking forward to our journey, See you soon. Love mom.

[projectjeremy]

13 DPO and i can definitely see a + !! I need to stay calm and surpress the urge to buy loads of baby stuff and maternity clothes for a few more days.. Want to make sure this one will stay with us.

[projectjeremy]

Such a happy sight :)

[projectjeremy]

Lucky number 7?

Dear Jeremy,

It’s been a while since I wrote to you. And I must say you didn’t make it easy for us. 7 long months of waiting, testing, waiting, more testing, and some major dissapointments when all results came back negative. But positive as mommy and daddy are, we kept good hope, and knew that this is our first test of patience.

Now it is July, summertime and this month things seemed a little different. Small things I normally propably wouldn’t even notice but yet they are there. So after many days of waiting and testing again, today we have a little more hope as 2 test came back positive today!! I really hope this is it, and finally a little soul chose me to be your mommy. This week will know, and i feel so happy right now. Let’s hope it lasts :)

Love mom

[projectjeremy]

Making a baby, round 2!

It’s been a few weeks since the positive test, that in the end turned out to be not so positive. :( A sad result, but hey, it happens. I guess nature takes over in some cases, and that’s what i have to trust on.

So this means we’re currently going through “round 2”, and so far so good. This time i tried not to think about it too much and even made it to 1 day before d-day to take an early test. I might be a little paranoid with these tests, cause again i swear i saw a thin blue line but nothing to conclusive.

Don’t feel any different than usual, boobs hurt, but they always do around this time. Only remarkable thing is i’m not cranky at all! Actually i’m happy and very delightful which could be a good sign :)

We’ll see tomorrow, i’m planning to take a digital test to make sure the outcome is a little more conclusive. We’re leaving for holidays tomorrow night, and if i’m not pregnant… Well at least i can have a few beers!!

The adventure continues! See you soon,

Love mom.

[projectjeremy]

Positive test

That's all I have to say really. POSITIVE.TEST.

[projectjeremy]

D-day

Since the last “thin blue line” test result earlier this week noy much has happened. Test results from other test have been inconclusive, but i’ve got a whole set of explanations ready as to why i didn’t test really positive yet.

HCG too low, too early, wrong time of the day, drank too much… And finally this morning (i’m now offically 1 day late) the digital tester got stuck…no reboot button! ;) So I guess I’ll just have to wait another day and see what happends.

My mood has been up an down, and I’m not sure what will happen but I found some kind of peace in the fact that I can’t control the outcome of this situation so i’m a lot more pleasant to live with than last week :)

Now back to work.. And please be there soon!

Love, your impatient, mom X

[projectjeremy]

However tiny, it's still a blue line!

[projectjeremy]

The early test drama

Early tests are a bitch (sorry for that, mama shouldn’t swear) but they are. It’s been 2 weeks since your possible creation, and impatient as I am i drove to store yesterday to buy some “early pregnancy tests”. As the the title might reveal, these can be used a few days before the normal tests.

Immediately after unpacking them my enthusiasm dropped on the floor, as the chance on a positive test when pregnant was still only 57% on the day I was planning to test. Still I went to bed in an incredibly cranky mood (hormones??) and woke up at 7 AM.

With a drowsy head, 7 AM Sunday morning is usually not my thing, I went to the bathroom and managed to pee the EXACT 5 seconds as clearly instructed onto the test-stick. I waited the horrible 2 minutes, watching the control mark appear in the right spot (yay for me I peed the right amount of seconds on this devils device) and waited and waited some more for the 2nd blue mark to appear indicating that you’re on the way.

Nothing happened. Disappointed I threw the thing in the bin, hoping I’m in the 43% that just didn’t test positive yet this early and went back to bed. After waking up at noon, a way more acceptable time for a Sunday, I fished the thing out of the bin double checking my morning adventure. And there it was, the tiniest blue line had appeared indicating there might be some of those funky hormones after all!

Daddy was his usual self, “I don’t see anything, why don’t you check in a week”. A WEEK? Is he nuts? After 20 minutes of me trying to explain what ovulation is, how you can be 4 weeks pregnant but actually only 2 and blabbering about HCG hormones, the blank look on his face indicated both the fear and cluelessness I would expect from a first time dad. So I gave him a break :)

Next test is up in 2 days, hopefully with clear blue line this time. And hope dad is a little more used to the idea as well.

See you soon Love Mom X

[projectjeremy]

January 12th 2014 - the start

It was on my 30th birthday (just.. 11.45PM) that your dad and I decided to just go for it. Obviously it was a slight “heat of the moment” decision, but you were kind of planned to happen this year afterall so why not now…

Let me tell you a little bit about us, always nice to have some info on where you come from. Dad and I met 7 years ago, at a party through a mutual friend. Despite confusion with names, unclear girlfriends, a tray of beer on my head (i’ll tell you some day), a dull birthday party, and a possible holiday to Spain, dad and I finally made it to the couch of my appartment. Long story short we hooked up in March that same year.

7 years down the road, owners of a house and a dog, we are newlyweds planning our first kid. And I can tell you it freaks us out big time! Will we be able to take care of you? Do we want to give up our freedom, our lazy weekends and late mornings? And don’t even mention the whole “giving birth” part…

But now that we opened up the doors to our hearts for you, I hope you don’t take too long to meet and greet us. Cause to be honest your mom is a little impatient at times and waiting makes your dad nervous… In the meantime we’ll try to have fun making you and I’ll keep you updated on the progress!

On a sidenote you might wonder why we baptized this new adventure as “project Jeremy”. Well your grandma is to blame for that one. She is let’s say “not a big fan” of the name Jeremy, so because your family has a strange kind of humor it seemed to be the best choice :)

See you soon, Love Mom.