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The work grind

It's kinda hard for us to talk now because we both work full time jobs, and because of the time difference, by the time he gets off work I'm lazily in bed (it's kinda my fault, I like to sleep early). Hopefully we fall into a better rhythm and don't .. idk lose sight of each other D:

Thanks rabb.it for making movie dates possible when you're in different provinces 💏

Change of plans

Boy have things changed a bit since I last posted. So Mr.West Coast was originally going to start school in September, but after a few weeks he decided it wasn't for him. He luckily got a job offer full time doing car rental sales, so hes been working for the past few weeks. Since school is no longer on the table, he has mentioned moving to where I am in a few months (!!!!!!!). Not only would that mean our long distance status will end, nut maybe for the first time well even live in the same city. SO EXCITING!! I really appreciate the fact that he's considering making that sacrifice and moving here to be with me. It's a little shitty that us being together means that one of us will have to sacrifice being able to be close to "home", but I mean I Guess all relationships incorporate some degree of sacrifice. I would do the same if the situation allowed it. But yeah, im really happy. We were both sort of expecting to be LD for close to 2-3yrs and I think now we're looking at another 6months. Yay!!

Great way to end off the summer

I was terrible for not blogging throughout the trip, but I just came back from a little over a week visiting mr west coast. Timing wasn't perfect since he worked most days, but that meant that i got to spend time with his mom and sis, my friends who currently live there, and get lots of LSAT studying done. We had mornings and late nights to ourselves, which was perfect for yummy brunches, dimsum and late night meals. I FINALLY GOT TO MEET HIS FRIENDS which was a pretty big deal considering its been like 26months lawls. HURRAH THEY EXIST. I even spent some time with just his mom and sister which was pretty interesting. There's a tiny language barrier but I'm happy they spent time with me. His mom also cooked a delicious meal one night nomsss. We also went to Seattle for a day, and actually got to see the pike market while it was in full operation this time which was really cool. We also had some delicious tacos there at a place that literally took us forever to find LOL And on my last day there we went to PNE aka their verison of CNE and it was pretty cute. They had a live farm with little chickens and bunnies and we watched a pig race LOL and we also saw the super dogs show which was cute. After that we went for a walk and had some Greek food. We had a deep Talk about our relationship and sort of how it feels to br in long distance. We both expressed our worries and how we feel and its nice to know that we can be honest with each other. Basically it was like, ya long distance sucks but it is our only option right now and it atleast gives us space to grow. And we both discussed how not everyday is easy and that sometimes it's easy to lose sight of.. us. I like that we can be honest with each other, and well ya I hope it all works out.

*slams head on wall*

Before I just into this rant, I just want to say that i fully mean to blog when things are good and when things are normal to give this blog a fair exposure if this relationship. But ofcourse I only remmeber to blog mostly when im really frustrated. Mr.West Coast seriously peeved me today. It took him since end of Feb when he moved back to til just a few weeks ago to land a job. Sure, for some of that he was also waiting on schools. But mostly, he intended on getting a job but was having trouble finding one. A few weeks ago, he finally lands one. A part time one for valet parking, which involves driving cars (which he likes), that pays a base + tips (which he was looking for, since school meant he wouldn't be able to work long hours), that has flexible scheduling to accommodate for his classes, and is all around chill. Seriously, for a part time job, what more can you ask for? Then today, out of nowhere he starts talking about how he might want to quit his job because he "hates it". And "easy come easy go" (excuse me is job hunting for 4 months really that "easy come"?) Like suck it up, no one loves a part time job. He was being so dramatic too about how it "sucks the soul out of him" or something >.> Then to further this nonsense he actually brings up that "he doesn't think hes cut out for school" because if he was, he would have finished long ago and wouldn't need to be going back now. Honestly I didn't even know what to say to that because.. well, are you fucking kidding me? Like this whole entire time he was so determined to go back to school, namely that ONE program and didn't even consider other school options that are less academic (since he claims he is not academic). And when he was applying to jobs, I'd send him options or offer suggestions and he'd be like "no i don't qualify for that" (which he fully could have tried, because no one qualifies 100% for any job), and kept saying his main goal was to go back to school. NOW HE GETS IN AND IS 3 WEEKS AWAY FROM THE START OF THE SEMESTER AND HE WANTS TO QUIT???????????? Like are you freaking joking. I know this is most likely some sort of freak out reflex, similar to him breaking up with me before he left for Van. Which is why im not freaking out too too much on him. But it better be a momentary lapse because well.. ARE YOU SERIOUS????? and even if it is a "reflex" type situation, that's a terrible habit/response. I don't get it .. how can logic and idk, common sense just leave like that? Like I literally do not know how to respond to such behavior. I mean if it was anyone else, I would just ignore them til they came to their senses. I can't just ignore him, atleast not for an extended amount of time. Idk how to respond to someone in order to GET them to come to their senses ugh. I do not have the patience for this type of stuff and I hate that this seems to be a pattern.

Mr. West Coast undermining my hiking ability

Me: I wanna go on a hike

Him: I don't know any 10 minute trails

Love notes he left around my room ❤

A week in paradise

Mr.West coast just left after spending 8days here and honestly I was pretty teary when he left. Its hard because everytime were together its like oh ya were so good together.. its too bad that it can't be for an extended period of time. Anyways we had a pretty good week. He came on Tuesday and we went straight to Kinkaku....duh. The next day was my convocation, so he watched me graduate and hung out with my family. After that we went to bomber with my friends and it was actually SO much fun. Like.. maybe we were really drunk but we were all dancing and having fun and I saw so many people I knew. It was really good to see everyone one last time before we go our separate ways. We got waaay too drunk and the next day, even though I was supposed to get my driver's license we just loafted all day. So i am still G1 less LOL Friday we woke up relatively early and went to Niagara Falls. We stayed at a small hotel, and spent the afternoon walking around and eating 10$ fro yo LOL. That night we went to the falls view casino buffet and then got some wine + ice wine to drink back at the hotel. We pre-d, watched Buying the View (very addicting) and cuddled before going out to the Midway Arcade. It was a pretty bad arcade night for us LOL we failed at so many games and got single tickets.. aka what the machine gives you for trying LOL. We played this game where you throw balls at clowns and we hit the jackpot......then it ran out if tickets >.> It was seriously a really bad luck night but we still ended up getting enough for this mini Lego Batman thing and a shot glass. Next day we ate pho for breakfast and then went shopping at the outlets before heading to Toronto. I stayed at home that night with my parents, and he hung out witg his friend. I weirdly for very strong separation anxiety and worked myself into quite a frenzy that night LOL Sunday we went to Kaka for lunch (can you tell we like sushi?) And spent the afternoon watching OITNB and then for dinner made food for my parents. It was actually super cute, we made bun rieu and red bean soup and celebrated fathers day with a home cooked meal. We drove back to Waterloo that night, and the pass few days werent all that eventful because I had to work during the day. We would come home and have dinner and then basically binge watch orange is the new black. Ooh on Tuesday we celebrated our 2 year anniversary, and had wings at crabby Joe's and then watched finding dory which was really good. Yesterday he took aly and I out for dinner at MyThai as a thank you for hosting and ya that was pretty much our week. Its crazy how much we cram into a week (esp food wise). I think being LD makes us really cherish the time that we do get to spend together, so we're both on our best behavior which is really nice. Though there's this sort of pressure to make the time we spend together good, because its limited. So I sort of feel a pressure to like make the most of every moment.. so when were just there on our phones I get a little like antsy. But all in all it was a really great week and I can't wait to see him again.

THE GOOD NEWS FINALLY ARRIVES

Just a few days ago, Mr.West Coast got his acceptance letter back to the university he studied in before he came to Toronto! Hooooray! I think it's been pretty hard for him just waiting and applying for jobs and stuff so this is a relief! I'm really glad too. Even though the letter essentially means he will be situated in Van for the next 2years, atleast that's stable. Better than NOT knowing where he'll be. Shortly after he got his acceptance, he booked his plane tickets to come see me :D My commencement is in 2 weeks, and we weren't sure if he was going to be able to make it since he was looking for a job. But now that schools guaranteed, doesn't look like he to find a job so urgently. BUT YAY HE'S COMING :D It also just happens that the week of my commencement is our 2yr anniversary so I'm really glad that we can spend that together. I got a sweet deal off Groupon, so we're gonna keep with the old tradition and head to Niagara Falls. Arcade, braza and hotel here we comeeeeeeeeeee.

The dreddddd

Hmm not much of an update really but yay I moved into my new place and am sososo thankful that I had Mr. West Costs old furniture because it saved me a ton of moooolas. And it's nice to have little reminders of him ^.^ We had a slightly rough few days because of the tension of me "pressuring" him to find work/apply and him not wanting to talk about it. I just don't like not talking about because.. Well because it's such a critical decision making time in his life and idk I just want to be involved. Especially when the decision affects me and us also. I'm like forever trying to walk the line of supporting gf being patients for him to do his own thing.. And being like HELLO HURRY UP. Its a very hard line to balance esp for my personality (gogogo) lol

Best Week Eva

We had a really good week together :) Lots and LOTS of eating (duh, the contract is no longer in effect) and just lots of long car rides and bonding together. I think this somehow sort of solidified my feelings for him - sort of made me appreciate/remember how good we are together.

I mean, we had a few moments of mini fights but they didn’t last long and they were dealt with maturely and with communication.

It just sucks that, yeah we’re REALLY good together, but we’re also REALLY far apart right now, physically. I know the blablah what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and this is probably a learning/growing experience and yadyadyya but it still SUCKS. I’m thankful that we have like the internet and can chat throughout the day and send each other pictures but still.. It’d be nice if we could just like go on a mid-night impromptu bbt run or something.

“See you later, alligator”

West Coast Lyfe

So this week I'm visiting Mr. West Coast, in the West coast! I've been here for 4 days and it's been really fun so far. We've been to Stanley Park, the Aquarium, downtown browsing, and a whooolleeee lotta eating. Today we went down to Seattle to shop and walk around ^.^ its actually been really great, lots of bonding and connecting and since we only have a few days together I feel like we're both on our best behaviours and just really like in the moment and not busy on our phones. Its been pretty much perfect so far 💚

2 weeks in

So he’s been gone for about 2 weeks now and I’m feeling alright. I’m super busy with school (YAY LAST TERM) so it’s keeping me distracted but I miss having someone there for weekend cuddles and binge eats. I know i’ll be seeing him and the beauty of vancouver in a few weeks (YAY) but after that.. it’ll be a while before we see each other again :(

It’s slightly scary to think about that. That from now on (atleast for the next year, minimum) our time together will be sparse and uncertain. That’s.. tough.

It’s not like Paris where I knew I was coming back after x amount of months.. this is a lot more undecided an that’s scary.

I’ve already signed my lease here for a year too, so thats MINIMUM one year spent here.

It’s also bittersweet because it’s a time of change in both of our lives. We’ll be starting new chapters physically apart... and so so so much could happen.

Official: Long Distance Relationship

Well he began his long drive back home this morning after dropping me off at work. I’m very proud of myself for not crying, though when I don’t keep busy it sort of hits me and makes me sad/scared.

Our status has official changed to being an LDR and I’m not sure what that means for our future.

Though I already booked for tix to visit him next month LOL since I have a week off from school/work :)

Guts.

During the week, he had to drop some furniture at my place in toronto (since he’s moving out and I’m moving into a new place, i get his furniture!).

So without me being home, he delivered some odds and ends to my parents house and even brought them a cake and apologized to them and my sister for troubling them (since i was so heartbroken i asked them to visit me) and for hurting me.

It doesn’t make up for what he did, but I appreciate and recognize what it took for him to do that - it’s scary.

:’)

24 hr break up

1 week late but basically we were only broken up for 24 hrs before we got back together lols i hate that we were one of “those” couples. Basically the next day, after a BRUTAAAAL night for me of like literal hot and cold flashes and being so sad I had stomach problems... he said he thinks he made a mistake lol. And then that night we skyped and I told him I needed him to do something to prove to me that he’s serious, since I can’t just accept a “nvm i messed up” and pretend like nothing happened. lol miscommunications ensued and for some reason HE SAID NO.

But then either he smartened up or clarified what I meant, and he came back to waterloo that night and basically apologized and convinced me we should get back together. I’m weak and optimistic, so I said yes.

It’s only been a week and so far I don’t regret it :)

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