Why can't I just lie in your arms forever?
It's better than any drug I've ever tasted. It's better than any rush I've ever felt. It is going home. You are my home.
Maybe every person can feel like home with the right mindset. I cant help but wonder why and how it is that two specific people can fit each other so perfectly that they no longer desire or need anyone or anything else. I don't get it. I feel it, I know it, and yet I have no way to understand it.
I like to think we all operate on different frequencies and it's a matter of finding someone on just the right frequency to compliment your own. I'm sure there are multiple people in this world who accentuate my frequency, who naturally and effortlessly bring me to new and incredible levels of consciousness and love. In fact, I know there are multiple people out there with this power. I've been fortunate enough to have met a few already. However, it takes a special kind of match to create a lasting relationship. It takes effort and it takes desire.
Admittedly, I have not been good at relationships in the past, but I'm learning. I'm learning to wear my heart on my sleeve and to speak my truth regardless of any anxiety. I'm learning to risk everything despite any fear. It has become clear to me that the only way to be loved fully is to live and love fully yourself.
I've been taught, and I truly do believe, that one should eliminate expectations. However, this thought has lead me into some pretty terrible relationships. I don't expect you to spend every night with me, I don't expect you to go out of your way for me, shit, I don't even expect you to love me. I have never needed these things nor required them from my boyfriends, but I now want more.
Maybe I shouldn't want things, but I do. I want the best from this world and I'm no longer afraid of admitting it. I want love and I want sacrifice. Again, a lasting relationship takes effort and desire. So maybe these things aren't so bad afterall, when seen in the right light.
Now, here you are. Wanting me too. I know you don't need me. I know that I'm not a necessity for anyone or anything, and yet you still want me. I think that may say more than any need. It's the kind of want that satisfies your needs. We'd both be fine without one another, but life is so much richer, so much more fun with you by my side. For that, I love you. Yes, I love everyone, but I love you in ways that I simply don't feel for others.
You match my frequency. You bring laughter and joy into my life. You give me something, and someone, to look forward to at the end of the day. You're like a delicious piece of chocolate cake. I definitely don't need you, but goddammit you make this life worth living.