gigi

🐁

[protocolsu]

Bought magnesium supplements to help me empty my bowels, status is DELAYED shipment. The universe wants me to die from constipation. Fml

[protocolsu]

There, that feeling bubbling in the bellows of my gut. Threatening to slam me into the Earth. I can't tell if it's instinct? Like I'm created to self-destruct. I don't know anything, thus I have no grasp of control. Fall into it, they say, trust the descent. But what they call surrender feels like consent to my own unmaking, a yielding not to depth, but to erasure.

[pmd9toybox]

[protocolsu]

Cicada root

The first dream I can remember was of my Grandmother dying in a car accident. In it, I watched over her, looming. I feared that the dream would come to fruition. I was told that if I thought about something hard enough, long enough, I could manifest it into reality. I still believe this. On my worst days, my inability to prevent the negative from poisoning my mind frustrates me into tears.

[protocolsu]

Drawing of something I'll probably never finish

[protocolsu]

I wish to abandon my body like a butterfly undergoing Chrysalis. Though I've been told I would be a moth.

[everydayisblessing]

[inthemuckandthemire]

[protocolsu]

My dreams consist of black and moss green body's of water; Grey hounds trying to play with sea animals. I'm always watching on a long deck that connects to nothing.

[protocolsu]

[protocolsu]

Sometime last Summer, again.

[protocolsu]

[protocolsu]

[protocolsu]

[protocolsu]

Sometime last summer, wrong date

[protocolsu]

October 28th 2024

[protocolsu]

A mocking whisper echoes constantly. I fear my dreams of black holes and cosmic vortexes will come true. A day when dusk arrives, there will be a dark puddle in the sky, warping the atmosphere; my day of judgement. In sleep, I search for screws on the roof of a house, I tie rope in knots across pillars near the sea to keep it underwater, in the Midwest, an albino alligator bites my arm; I kill it, and find two lions stoically waiting. I bought Freud's The Interpretation of dreams.