Prodigal Son Incorrect Quotes

asks and submissions are open (and greatly appreciated don't be shy!) | current ships on here: Maldrisa, Brightwell, Gilssica, and Dainsley | if there's a ship/friendship you want to see, put it in the asks and I'll add it (no incest) | spoilers are tagged #prodigal son spoilers #pson spoilers #spoilers #prodigal son season 1, 2, 3... #pson season 1, 2, 3...

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Gil: Today, I saw Malcolm crying for five or six minutes, and then an alarm on his phone went off and he just…stopped crying and went right back to work.

Malcolm: It’s called time management, Gil.

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Malcolm: I have good news and bad news.

Gil: Okay...good news first.

Malcolm: I am 65% sure that I won’t do it again.

Gil: …

Gil: *sighs*

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*immediately after pulling an all nighter for a case*

Malcolm: I don't even feel tired

Gil: how??

Malcolm: I got an hour of sleep last week

Gil: ...

Gil: that's not healthy

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Malcolm, jumping over his emotions like:

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Malcolm: hello, father figure

Gil: hello, problem child

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Malcolm: hey, wanna help me commit a felony?

Edrisa: what the heck?! No!

Malcolm: sorry, my bad

Malcolm *whispers*: hey, wanna help me commit a felony?

Edrisa *whispers*: yeah, of course. What do you need?

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Gil: Jessica, what are you drinking?

Jessica: Tea

Gil: What kind of tea?

Jessica: Uh... tea... quila

Gil: Jessica, we've talked about this

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Dani: I love you a lot.

Ainsley: I love you too. I love you how the summer rain falls, steady and constant, flooding the dry earth and nourishing the flowers and grass and trees while we rest in our house, watching the rain patter against the window. 

Dani: …

Dani: Can I, uh, try mine again? I don’t think I gave it my all.

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Malcolm: I’ve been eating peanut M&Ms in the hopes that if a cannibal eats me and is allergic to peanuts, I’ll be able to get my revenge. 

Gil: …

Gil: That sentence started out so normal. 

JT: I can’t believe you thought it was going to be.

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Malcolm: *is quietly reading*

Gil: *sighs* What did you do?

Malcolm: What? I'm just reading, what makes you think I did anything?

Gil: Malcolm, just tell me what you did

Malcolm: I didn't do anything!

Gil:

Malcolm:

Malcolm: Ok fine I may have accidentally started a tiny fire that burned down just a few buildings

Gil: *sighs* sometimes I wish my "Malcolm Did Something Bad" sense was wrong, but it never is

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Malcolm: If I cut off my leg, and swing it at your head, am I hitting you or kicking you?

Dani: …

Dani: Honestly, you’d probably be mentally scarring me more than anything else. 

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Malcolm: What have I done?! I've killed my father!

Gil: Good riddance

Dani: He was a bad influence

Jessica: He ruined our family

Martin (bleeding out on the ground): Stop acting like I'm dead! I can still be saved!

Jessica, Dani, and Gil: No.

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Dani: tell me one thing about you no one knows

Malcolm: I get jealous of my phone when it dies

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Malcolm: I just slept for 4 hours. That's twice as long as I usually get

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Malcolm: And what if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Edrisa: the car takes a screenshot

Gil: For the last time, get the fuck out

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Gil: Do you ever think?

Malcolm: No and you can’t make me.

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JT: People who sleep without socks on make me worry.

Dani: People who sleep WITH socks are not to be trusted. 

Malcolm: People who sleep are weird. 

Edrisa: I was a sock once.