Shall I Compare Thee To Thyself?
Shakespeare might have been a genius at similes and metaphors, but it turns out that we might actually be the best at the comparing game. Ever found yourself looking around the table when trying to decide what to eat? Ever found yourself asking your friends what they're going to wear to the local gay club? No... Oh well, do you ever find yourself asking others what they are going to wear to the cat lovers meeting? If so, then you are exhibiting the...
Social Comparison Theory
What do you think is more important: Having a positive understanding of yourself or having an accurate understanding of yourself? When it comes to the latter, in hopes to achieve the best understanding of ourselves, we compare ourselves to those around us who reflect us best (Festinger, 1954). It might seem like we are the ones who know ourselves the best, but in actuality that isn't always the case. The Social Comparison Theory shows that we cannot get an accurate representation of ourselves without comparing ourselves to other people (Festinger, 1954). Why do we want an accurate representation of ourselves versus a positive representation? Well, 1) we have a need to know where we stand in comparison to others, and 2) In the absence of an objective standard, we innately compare ourselves with others. By doing this, we can assume things about ourselves in a fast and efficient way. We figure that if someone similar to us is ordering a chicken burrito, then that might be the best decision for us as well. If everyone at the cat lovers club is drinking water but you want a coke, then you'll probably determine that water might be best for the occasion or for yourself. Overall, we want to know who we really are, whether that ends up being positive or negative.
For example, my friend martin and I are more similar than what meets the eye. We decided we were going to have a get together with some friends on Friday in hopes to rekindle what was "lost" during the break. The problem was that I would be coming from practice with not much time to get ready unlike most of our friends who would have ample time to get dressed. I automatically sent a text to the squad asking "Y'all gonna look cute or nah?". Now in all actuality, what did it matter what they were wearing? But without an "objective standard" I didn't really know what to wear without knowing what my friends were going to wear. How well do you really know yourself?
Festinger, L. (1954). A theory of social comparison processes. Human Relations, 7117-140.