psycho self care

the softest side of me that gives 'a little bit more'

[spiritualseeker777]

[studylikeknope]

[teneedwards]

[flowerais-deactivated20211031]

soft ideas: learn a completely new language and pour your heart into it. learn a new field from scratch. draw stick figures and write love poems. learn all the names of the plants in your city. completely change your habits. read about all the constellations. make people happier than they make you. tell people they inspire you. wake up earlier and start your day with a relaxing routine. look in the mirror and fall in love with every inch of your body. fall in love with strangers on the train. make people feel loved. read a book and light a scented candle before sleeping. put your photos in a photo album and write in a diary. pick flowers for your friend.

[psycho-self-care]

BLOG #13 CULMINATING ENTRY 

We could all agree that the human person is a wonder that is quite a mystery for us even though we are the humans. There are a lot of things that we could question regarding the human person itself because of our natural state of curiosity we might as well make use of such trait in order to learn and discover more about the things that could possibly help enhance our existence. The discovery of the self, starts from asking the questions about how one attained the state of where he or she is currently and that leads us back to the society where we grow up in and the acceptable norms and standards present during that time. Personally, I saw that the overall factor that affect the way that we function and perceive the world is the society, its means, ways and motives. Technically, most of the things that we live by today is a social construct or some kind of standard that is formulated and implemented in society

Understanding the self through bioecological systems perspectives shows how we are not just a person who is undergoing a certain development rather we have this dynamic interaction with the surroundings, the plants, the animals, and humans (or systems). Every single interaction is an exchange of knowledge both new and old that would further enhance the way a person functions and lives his or her own life. Furthermore, this society that we live in is not just a concept perceived in a macrosystem type of way rather it is also made up of microsystems that all contributes in order to have a functional and lasting macrosystem. It shows when a person develops and adapts through the different interactions that one encounters every single day. We have this certain connection with the world or the society that could determine how we formulate our own perceptions of the world. Considering that our world today is gearing towards globalization, there are more aspects of humanity that we should all consider in order to survive and be united with other people. The risk of creating a blurred line between the different classifications of people gives diverse effects in both sides. Positively, it may lead to better relations and a solidified unity within the community; while it could also be negative when people do not accept such act of bringing people closer together and understanding each other’s take on the situations happening in the society.

Our respective selves have the right to respond towards these situations and could be seen through the thinking and feeling self. Our system one thinking may be of-denial or a bit defensive about the whole idea of globalization, yet this could be counteracted by the logical thinking of our system two thinking; which takes the time and effort to weigh the facts found around it and decide what is the best option of reacting. On the other hand, the feeling self is responsible for giving away the emotions that is felt during a certain situation. It is the thing inside of us that binds us all in one common unity for we rational beings are also capable of feeling or attaching feelings towards certain circumstances that we find appealing or worth remembering. Moreover, it is our feeling self which is responsible for the bias in our reactions and the way we handle circumstances that change the course of our lives.

Those reactions and decisions that we make every single day is also linked towards the way the community or the society’s standards are formulated. Those laws, rules and norms implemented in a certain community would more likely be working with a person’s superego which is fueled by the morality principle. Meanwhile, we could see how the negative parts of the community (e.g. drugs, violence, rebellion, etc.) may stimulate and work alongside our id. Lastly, everything between the polar opposites of a person’s mind and setting is mediated by the ego, for it dictates the actions that satisfies one’s cravings (id) in balance with the society’s standards (superego). All of these are experienced and developed through one’s own life since birth; like that of the psychosocial development theory and the psychosexual stages. Therefore, acquiring a certain type of foundation towards one’s own self and a structuring of one’s identity.

We all have different stories that we navigate through on a daily basis. We do not get to choose where and how we would be born, and different communities and systems offer a different set of standards and rules that apply for their own betterment. It is really an eye-opening experience to be able to try on other people’s shoes even for a day because it would be a totally challenging whatever you’ve been accustomed to. There are a lot of things we could uncover just by interactions or nourishing our relationship with the important people in our life such us our selves, parents, and peers. In the end, we are all just wandering humans who want to shed some light in the experiences that we accumulate in miniscule time in the spectrum of time and history. You do not exist to just merely stare at a certain corner and wait for yourself to rot, rather you must live life and experience it to the best that you can because you only live once. So no matter the gender, the affiliation, the status, and the role that people have in your life it is best that everyone must learn how to love and accept love, for it is our key to happiness and fulfillment in life. 

[selflovewarrior]

x

[selflovewarrior]

you don’t need to rush it, you can’t unlearn old behaviours in just one day, allow yourself time!

[selfcare-bot]

<3

please take a little time right now and flex your fingers 🎵

[smiles-advice]

Remember:

🌼You are not a burden

🌼It’s going to get better

🌼You deserve to be happy

🌼You’re doing really well

🌼Your mental health does not define you

🌼Your mistakes do not define you

🌼You are so important

🌼I am proud of you

🌼You’re going to be okay

[kelseylorene]

You have always been important. You have always been something. Age just reveals the facts that always were. Experience just uncovers the ‘you’ that always was.

Welcome to Night Vale (via kelseylorene)

[the-secret-law]

You have to learn to say no without feeling guilty.

Setting boundaries is healthy.

Taking time for yourself is healthy.

Self-care is healthy.

You need to learn to respect and take care of yourself. Become aware of what really is worth your energy. Because it is time to do what is best for you.

[psycho-self-care]

BLOG #12 BINHI OUTPUT 

Reflect on your immersion experience.

Personally, I live close to the area where we conducted the Binhi Area Engagement and I never thought to see the day how the place transformed to. I live in Navotas and the Area Engagement was conducted in Tondo specifically in the compound where the PAPEL Women Weavers stayed. Since I was a kid, I could remember how the place smelled so bad and the mountain of trash or the Smokey Mountain as they call it, stands firmly with people’s houses standing beside it. If the smell was horrible enough when you pass by it, imagine the experience that people have gone through just to have a place to live in. Immersing ourselves in such set-up is really a humbling experience because we get to talk to women who are members of a rehabilitated community who themselves have not so much stuff to give, yet they still chose to help the community out. Even if Sir Rafi has been repeatedly saying that the women there were mothers, we saw other members who themselves were in their youth and one was still working there to have money for her studies. Despite the negative stories regarding the place, it was still fulfilling enough to be there and share a moment and even a meal with the women in PAPEL. It was quite a humbling experience to dine with them after working on our outputs, because we could hear them laughing and sharing more stories about their experiences to us as if we were like their kapwa or kaibigan.  

How are the habitus of the communities different and/or similar from yours? What forms of capital are valued in their field?

The community is known to have a bad notion where drugs and dealers are everywhere because there had been stories told that there were people shot dead during the night time just because of the drug war. Moreover, the community itself had a bad reputation because of the Smokey Mountain and how it affects the way people were living in the area. However, there are also positive sides to their community because it has been a rehabilitated place where there is no longer trash, but more space for people to decently live in. All of this was different from the peaceful community and a bit more functional place that we live in. It is where people live in a better environment not haunted by the looming danger of the war on drugs. They look at us with high regard despite my personal state somewhat closer with their own rather than what they perceive Ateneans to be. It is similar in the way we consider hard work as a necessary capital for living and surviving every single day. The women in PAPEL told us of the nitty-gritty stuff about making their beads and strips using magazines in-order-to create their wonderful works. In the same case, our household values hard work as the foundation to everything that one dreams of achieving. No matter the physical strengths and weaknesses, nothing else is a match to a person who is hard working.

What were your thoughts and feelings while you were in a field that is different from yours? Why do you think so?

To be completely honest, the thoughts and feelings that I heard from the other participants are the type that I wasn’t glad to hear. I genuinely want to learn more about the place and how people in there are doing. I love immersing with people who are on the other end of my reach, for I get to learn more about what they are experiencing and perhaps get an insight on how they get to live their lives in a case to case basis. It is important to be able to connect with other people like them because it gives me a sense of being grounded and a feeling of unity among the people in the community. What I kind-of expected to hear from my fellow batchmates was there, yet I didn’t have the time and effort to lecture them about what they said. I think they did not see the relevance of the whole Binhi Project to their daily lives. It may be a bit reasonable because I know how the college schedule is too hectic to even bother a soul from a routine. However, I just hoped that we were able to impart a bit of help towards the women in PAPEL because I saw how they were happy and eager enough to help us in creating works. Given a chance, I would like to extend such experience because they were really very accommodating and kind enough to teach us about what they learned for years and considered as their source of living.

Is it possible to bridge the gap between people from different habitus? Based on your own experience, how can it be done?

Yes, it is possible to bridge the gap between the different habitus of people. The greatest example it this Area Engagement where us students that come from different types of habitus, schemas and dispositions get to experience something that is closer to what people of today are experiencing. This whole experience had been an eye-opener which could open-up possibilities that may help in the development of the community or that of the person experiencing the engagement. If one is open-minded enough to see the realities that are existing today, it may as well bring change to the community and how people perceive them. Furthermore, a dialogue and immersions like these help people become more connected and more aware of the different aspects that affect their community nowadays. In the end, everyone is just in the same plane of living and social status is not that important when having such interactions, but it would greatly affect the way people get to help out those in need.

[psycho-self-care]

BLOG #11

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS AND GENDER-RELATED ISSUES

Socialization is a daily part of our lives, considering that we are social beings who are capable of learning through interactions and, also forming bonds through it. Over time, we have been taught to be people who conform to society’s standards and try to be what is acceptable in society. However, society changes from time to time therefore society’s standards also mold into those times.

Socialization and relationships go hand in hand with the development of a person in terms of identity and personality. There are some relationships formed through interactions with the family, which nourishes and withstands the hurdles of life through the love of family members towards each other. Another type of relationship formed throughout one’s existence are friendships. They are formed through the different people whom one interacts with every single day and forms a bond with memories with them. These bonds formed may be changed depending on situations and the way the relationship works. Some friendships may come and go like acquaintances would; while some nourish and become stronger that lasts a lifetime. Moreover, some friendships or acquaintances become relationships that involve to people who have the same feelings for each other. The friendship stage could further be developed into a relationship between a couple who may take a step further if they call it love.

Everyone has a different concept of love depending on what context they see it as. In this adolescent gearing towards adulthood, I am at a stage that would long more for the intimacy and companionship that I seek or lack thereof. However, relationships like this shouldn’t be entered just for the sake of status rather for the right reasons and the right intentions because entering into a relationship which one is not prepared for could hurt a person and possibly change their perception of things.

Now, standards of today regarding gender roles and the accepted genders of society has changed. Although not entirely, the progress of society towards accepting the other genders is well enough to say that the society is progressing to somewhere positive. Before, there are only two genders considered by society which is the male and the female to the point that the existence of the third gender became a disorder.

Personally, I take part in being an advocate for the other genders because I see how they need alliances who are there to make them feel welcome and safe. Although, I could not classify myself in a certain box that society made in order to understand gender and gender roles, yet I still am an advocate of the LGBTQI+ that is willing to let people know what is right from what is wrong. I believe that everyone should be treated as humans because everyone in this world would only want to get by in life and fulfill one’s purpose. We should not force people to fall under a certain stereotype and make them a certain way that they are not because that violates the way people express themselves and live their own life. In turn, that would change the way they function and identify themselves in society.

[psycho-self-care]

BLOG #10 RELATIONSHIP WITH PEERS

Right now, I feel like I don’t belong to a certain clique yet. Even though I had established different cliques in different classes or organizations today, I also have cliques that I have for life which are the ones whom I left in my previous university. For me, that clique or that friend group really had its share of trials and accomplishments, and one thing is for sure, it is that we would all be there for each other no matter what. It may have took a long time and a lot of experimentation before I finally found the group of friends that I could really vibe with, but it was all worth it.

After transferring schools, I have left the previous cliques and crowds that I have been accustomed to for 6 years. I really saw the change of atmosphere when I first transferred universities. Crowds in my previous school was more defined and very distinguishable; while today, I could sense that there may be crowds, but everyone is more open and accepting towards other people rather than closed-off. Furthermore, the crowds that I see today are more diverse and of different interests, yet everything comes together when it comes to acads and everything school-related.

With every change of set-up and clique or crowd that I am with, I usually keep my personality the way it is, yet I could also notice how some of the mannerisms and expressions of other members of those cliques or crowds rub off on me. It just goes to show that other people could affect me greatly especially if that clique or crowd are people who I’m close to every single day. I may be a part of all of them, yet there may be some instances where I disassociate myself from what they all do or how they act.

At this point in time, I might already have the foundation to my identity that would help me differentiate or associate myself towards a certain cliques or crowds. I must also have the strength and courage to move away from people who I think may not be healthy to be with considering that my identity could still change to someone who I will not to be. More so, I must also be encouraged to be with those who bring out the best in me

[psycho-self-care]

BLOG #9

RELATIONSHIP WITH PARENTS

We would not exist in this world without our parents, yet aside from bringing us to life, they are also the ones who give us the sustenance that we need for our everyday life. It goes to show how vital their role is to our daily life; Also, for our own development.

The identity and characteristics that we have today may be a result of what our parents have instilled in us. They are the ones who formed the basic foundation of our identity. From childhood to a certain part of our adolescence we have this dependence on our parents because they are the ones who provide us with everything and we could not function without them. We treat them as if they are the all-knowing people who are perfect and would do anything just to give what we need. They bring us to school, give us shelter, feed us decent food, and clothe us, for they are the ones who are capable of doing such acts, and it is their role in the family. As we try to find our own selves, we slowly let go and become independent from such guiding figures. Experiencing individuation is similar to defining your own self and showing to the world who you are apart from the parents whom people associate you more often than not. That part in life may give one a certain act of exploration, whichever from good or bad, that would help determine whether or not a person is aiming towards acceptance and maturity or not.  

Our parents were once children like us and they have the notion to give to their children what they never had. What’s missing was the feeling that they felt before when they were lacking what they wanted. Moreover, some choose to force their children do whatever they never fulfilled before even if it is not the dream or the ambition of the child. That feeling is what drove them to strive better and to give better lives to their children, yet the lack of empathy and emotional connection changes the way the parent perceives what the child is going through.

I’ve been contemplating ever since I reached high school, why and how things changed between the relationship of my parents and I. There had been a lot of changes that happened both in the lives of my parents and I, yet I think not one of them took the time to stop and analyze whatever is happening. On the other hand, I took my time and tried to adjust myself towards the situation to make all-of our time worthwhile. However, my past relationship with my parents never returned. I am more reserved now, yet more observant, for I get to see what is happening to the entire family; while they are oblivious of mine. I may have doubted myself in most times and usually blame myself for making things worse than it already is, yet I know it is still a long way for me and my parents to have the kind of family that we want. After all there is no such thing as a perfect family, yet I’m always willing to adjust and make amends with the other factors of my life in-order-to do whatever my parents want me to do, and to finally have my share of peace of mind at a structure where we live in called the house.

At this point I don’t know if my own process of individuation is healthy or not, no one could tell, yet I know that I am somehow going somewhere (not sure where tho). Nonetheless, I hope to find my home because home is where the heart is. It is different for everyone, but I hope I still have the heart to continue on doing things for the betterment of the family.

[psycho-self-care]

BLOG #8 

SOCIOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVES: SYMBOLIC INTERACTIONISM | LOOKING GLASS SELF | DRAMATURGY

“No man is an Island”, it is a quote to summarize the concepts of Psychosocial Development (Symbolic interactionism, Looking Glass Self, and Dramaturgy). The society and the people around us are the reason as to why we could differentiate ourselves from a certain crowd or even a certain person. Technically, everything in this world is a social construct or a creation based on the perception and standard of the masses. With that, even our own personalities and identities is said to be only identified based on the reflection of society to us.

To briefly explain, Symbolic Interactionism shows us how certain objects or events serve as symbols which help form the perception of humans towards interactions. Then, the Looking Glass Self is like looking into a mirror where you could see society on the other side; which means that the society and everything else in it is what influences you to be the way you are. The way you perceive how people judge your actions affects how you perceive yourself and present yourself to others. Lastly, Dramaturgy presents life as a stage where you and the people surrounding you are the actors and the different places you go to is your stage. You could manipulate the contents of that stage, or the props, and use it to your advantage.

No matter how hard one tries to disassociate one’s self towards his origins and wherever he is brought up, it is impossible because every single human, thing, or event that you had in your life affects you entirely; though some may be discreet, it could still show in more ways than one. The society where you live in, the people who you interact with, and the events which you participate in help define who you are and who you are not. It is both a helpful thing, yet also a struggle for a person. It is helpful because you could strengthen the way you show yourself and help others discern your traits with ease. Additionally, you could also explore the possibilities that are available in your surroundings. There are different symbols, crowds, and stages or sets that you may be able to show off and find your identity. However, there may be times when you feel indifferent towards the place, event or crowd where you are in and may further lead to desolation or feelings of abandonment and rebellion towards them if you are not that patient, persistent, and open-minded towards searching for your own identity.

Despite the insights of showing unity and connectedness within the community in terms of identity discernment, it goes to show, that a person is weak without others and one could not function well without other people. It is not right to be fully dependent on other people in order that one may function every single day, one also needs a time away from the regular routines that one does. Furthermore, one could not always have the time and the effort to put up a show every single day. There may be times when a certain perception towards a person would change or a certain act is dropped. No matter the reason, this perspective is just one of the many theories that we people could use in-order-to identify ourselves and give clarity towards the unknown parts of ourselves.

[psycho-self-care]

12.09.18