One thing you must accept when you are in a long-term relationship is that it will get bland. Every day, five days a week, 52 weeks a year, you will be waiting for him to come home from work. When he gets home, he will be tired and strained and all he will desire is a hot meal and some tv time.
You will find yourself not questioning where he goes when he leaves the room and not caring if he’s ready for bed when you are. And he won’t care if you’re ready for bed when he is, either. If you leave the room, he won’t even pass a second glance.
You’ll bicker and swear over money. Your future. Jobs. Kids. Parents. Politics. Cars. Bills.
You will begin to wonder if you’re staying with him because you love him and want him for the rest of your life or if you stay because it’s all you are used to.
But then, little things will happen.
One random day, he will come home from work in a marvelous mood. He’ll say “lets go do something, get out of here.” And you’ll go.
You’ll go out to eat. Eat inexpensive dinners and cheap iced lattes, and not give a damn that you spent a whole $20 on dinner.
You’ll go to the theater and make out in the top row like you did when you were teenagers. Like you did five years ago.
You’ll go for walks around the city when its nighttime. You’ll admire the city lights reflecting in each others’ eyes while learning things about each other that you never knew you hadn’t learned already.
You’ll talk about what your heavens will look like. Stories you tried to write. Songs you used to sing. He’ll tell you about how he became an alcoholic at 16 and you’ll tell him about why you slit your wrists at 14.
And amongst all of these adventures, you will remember why you love him. Why you have stayed with this person for years and years, never leaving, even when you had many chances to get out.
You remember that these stories are what keep you going and that life is life- and sometimes life is bland.
Its not your partner’s fault, nor is it your fault.
So some advice from me to you: don’t convince yourself that you have fallen “out of love” because your life is repetitive.
Your weeks will be the same. Your afternoons will be the same. You will, in fact, get so used to each other that you don’t have to ask where they’re going when they leave the room- you will know they’re going to read a book on the front porch or pet the cat in your bedroom.
And yes, you will fight. You will scream at each other and throw things and cry until your face hurts.
But, yes, you will also adventure. Dream. Create. Talk. Love.
You will fall in love with him again and again. Sometimes you won’t need an adventure. You will sit beside him on the love seat as he watches Bob’s Burgers and you will notice how long his eye lashes are. Or how rosy his cheeks are.
How he sits with his arm around you. And even though he does it every single day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year, it still makes your heart flutter when you actually acknowledge the gesture.
When you sit down and remember your adventures together, you will remember why you love him. Why you stay.
And if you’ve listened to his stories, you will know why he stays, too.
turnnoffyourmind
areudirty
prguitarman
germansingergirl
theartofmadeline
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
yousharknotpass
