Some time ago me and @kaetanye4kaisareallybadnickname came up w/ perfect crossover of two awesome game series that are both very inspiring and funny (and even happen to share same writer and release date which i believe is today — how cool is that!): Psychonauts and Portal. So, from now on I’m gonna post various stuff related to this crossover under the tag #psychoportal. (Warning: certain plot details might change over time).
First off, let’s see what characters we got here!
Chell is, obviously, a protagonist of the whole story.
For as long as she could remember, Chell had a special gift: despite being mute, she was able to “talk” to people via telepathy and also read other’s minds to some extent. So when she stumbled upon a mysterious ad calling upon everyone with psychic powers, she decided to put her talents to a good use and take part in Aperture Paranormal testing courses. However, soon things started to get really weird and dangerous, as the entire facility was affected by some mysterious psychic material. But none of the obstacles have broken Chell’s spirit and abnormal tentacity, and she, being the only person able to resist this affection, decided to run away from this insane lab and rescue the ones who were trapped inside.
On her way to escape she meets an unexpected companion —
Wheatley is but a simple white-collar worker doing simple (yet hella boring) paperwork. He might not have any psychic abilities at all, but that doesn’t make him any less helpful, since he can give pretty useful advices on how to get around the facility and the way things work in the mental realm (or at least where to find such information). Little hesitant at first, he joins Chell in her journey, and they become somewhat of a friends along the way. Not much of a surprise here, though, as his bright and chatty personality fits her coy reticence perfectly.
But alas! Not everyone in this laboratory is just as eager to help them out on this quest.
Oh boy, who doesn’t know Gladys, the allmighty CEO of Aperture Paranormal. Smart and cold-hearted as a computer yet also known for her rather cynical sense of humour, this woman is truly a mystery — being one of the most powerful psychic, she, paradoxically, does not believes in the existence of any paranormal powers whatsoever and strives to stem any ‘pseudoscientific belief’ while unwittingly resorting to it anyway.
At first she was kind enough to let Chell and Wheatley inside her mindscape to master various psychic abilities (one of them being the rarest skill of Teleportation) but in fact it turned out to be an elaborate trap full of censor turrets ready to exterminate the unwanted visitors. Although they managed to avoid the threat, it was nearly impossible to move forward ‘cause Gladys took entire facility under her control, and so they had to look for another way around, until suddenly they approach a stranger who seemed to be deeply troubled.
That was none other than Doug Rattmann, one of the former scientists who used to work at the facility. He joined the Psychonauts because more than anyone he knew how terrible it is to lose sanity as he is suffering from schizophrenia himself. Tragically, his mental health has been disturbed and rapidly went downhill due to the outbreak of a dangerous Psilirium matter, which was the reason behind the chaos that still remains within the lab. He asks Chell and Wheatley to find a medicine thal will help him to come to his sences, and, once it’s done, helps them in return by telling that somewhere in the forbidden parts of the facility there is a man who knows the lab inside and out.
Going deeper and deeper into the the lab they discover a lot of terrifying things about the place. Apparently, at the same time Psilirium outbreak happened, Aperture Paranormal was undergoing a trial of suspicious disappearances of it’s test subjects. To avoid any further investigation on this case, the then CEO of the lab had to hide away, and no one have seen him ever since.
But wait, what’s there? Is it a brain… in a jar? And whose mind could be stored in such a secret place?
That’s right, Cave Johnson’s here! This passionate old man is the founder of Aperture Paranormal. One might wonder why isn’t he in charge now. The answer is that he also fell victim to the Psilirium-involving accident, and his short temper didn’t help dealing with his delusions at all. He was isolated from the rest of the world for good and put into some sort of simulation, where he spend years denying that the perfect imaginary world he surrounded himself with was, well, imaginary. No surprise, then, that any intruders who dare to enter his mindscape would not be welcome, so Wheatley and Chell had to go under an alias of agents Atlas and Peabody to earn mr. Johnson’s trust. He doesn’t fully believes them, however, and makes them proof their worth by completing the imaginary obstacle course.
But suddenly, during that course Wheatley discovers that he has psychic powers as well! This has not gone unnoticed by mr. Johnson as he realises who his visitors actually are, and now he claims that the two are the only one who can bring facility back to normal. In order to do that they need to confront Gladys again — only this time they have to face her true self.
Long time ago Caroline was one of the best Psychonaut agents and the literal backbone of the facility. Unfortunately, she was seriously damaged during the Psilirium outbreak as well, and solution used to prevent further harm was… unsafe, to say the least. She had to have her conciousness literally destroyed by one of the test subject infamous for his ability to blow up other’s heads. Why would she risk like that? Well, as the only remaining witness in the Aperture’s case, she had to start new life under new identity as the part of witness protection programme — and yes, that’s how Gladys was born.
After being released from the depths of Gladys’ subconcious Caroline suddenly recognises Wheatley as the exact test subject who erased her from existence back in the day. She doesn’t seem to blame him, however, nor she wants to come back. Instead, she promises to take care of Gladys and make her a better person, and then shares the biggest achievment of Aperture Paranormal that can finally restore the peace. Turns out that there’s another psychoreactive mineral known as Psitanium; this stuff is also quite dangerous, as it can amplify psychic energy — but this way the negative Psilirium effect can be neutralized. After all, desperate times bring desperate measures, y'know.
So, Caroline’s plan works out perfectly, everyone is sane and safe again, and Gladys even promises to throw a party with lots of cake. What could possibly go wrong?
A lot of things, actually.
Yup. Welcome to the Part-Where-He-Kills-You.
When no one has been paying attention, Wheatley decided to take a tiny chunk of Psitanium so he can use his newfound abilities freely. But he wasn’t ready for handling this amount of power, and therefore his mind became dangerously unstable. In order to defeat the physical manifestation of Wheatley’s overgrown ego and anxiety that has taken over his mind, Wheatgalomaniac, Chell is ought to team up with Gladys. Of course, no one is a match for such a mighty duo, and thus, the day is finally saved — for real this time!
That’s it for now! More related content is about to be posted soon (hopefully). Feel free to ask me anything about this crossover if curious!
