#cave johnson

[onlyloversleftonline]

screenshots from my big sad GLaDOS amv so you can see them now

[charlesoberonn]

"Cave Johnson here. Human beings only use 10% of our brain. And personally, I think that's way too much. Thinking burns calories and food ain't cheap. I bet we can get it down to 7%. Maybe even 5. Way more efficient."

"Cave Johnson here with a few updates. Turns out humans use 100% of our brains. Which is probably why our Aperture Science Unthinking Cap didn't increase employee efficiency one bit. On the bright side, we discovered a new method to create zombies. That's the third one this month. Good job, team."

[drowninnoodles]

I think we've learned that scientists and portals don't mix well.

You are locked in a room with them for 24 hours, what happens

[oblique-lane]

Isn't much of a question but holy moly I love your pre fortress hc so much 😭😭🙏

Tysm!!! There's more!

Previous post!

I unironically believe that those three games should (do) share the same universe (The ORANGE BOX UNIVERSE???!?!) That would explain so much......

[that-green-mars]

Aperture Investment Opportunity #∞⃥⃒̸: "The Backrooms"

Cave Johnson here. We pursuit science daily at our wonderful Enrichment Center, but to tell you the truth, we're running out of room, pretty damn quickly. Our drills are running into impenetrable bedrock layers when drilling further in the salt mines, and the government lackeys down at Lansing are not approving the, quote, 'potentially hazardous and environmentally devastating research expansion'. Pah. But we found something better. Gentlemen, I give you: the Backrooms!

Test subject leaned on the wall and just 'clipped' through, scared the shit out of Greg. Heh. Do we know how the hell did this yellow, damp hellscape showed up? No. Do we care? Absolutely not. Infinite hallways, infinite room for new test chambers, and the building codes can go suck it because this place doesn't abide by Euclidean geometry, so technically they aren't even enforceable! We get free furniture here and there too so just deal with the minor problem of bottomless pits. Toss a carpet over it or something. Cave Johnson, we're done here.

[idkplzhalp]

This picture of the Cave / Caroline face models drives me insane like why are they like that. I love them. Idk. Their faces are very nice to me. They're so silly.

The aura from them is unbelievable.

[prokopetz]

That Stockton Rush kinda talks like Cave Johnson – and met a similar fate – isn't a reflection of prescience on the part of Valve's writers. It's a reflection of the fact that mediocre trust fund kids turned megacorporate CEOs who like to cosplay as genius inventors have been a thing for decades, and watching one of them get blown the fuck up by his own "innovations" has been an aspirational fantasy for nearly as long. Rush was just the first specimen of the type to be kind enough to make that fantasy a reality.

[extracheesehead]