Pun-A-Day Vitamin @punadayvitamin-blog - Tumblr Blog

April 11, 2016

I looked all over for your deed to the boat launch, but I couldn't find the dock you meant.

#document

April 10, 2016

Internet pirates hacked apple’s latest OS, so they’re working on an iPatch.

#software patch #eyepatch #arrrrrrrr #pirates #puns

April 9, 2016

The priest tried to get permission to build his church on a peninsula, but he had trouble getting his point a cross.

#Point across #links for linguists #puns

April 8, 2016

The police easily found where the money was hidden. It was an open and shut case.

#like a suitcase or briefcase or something #puns

April 7, 2016

If you get an optical prosthetic they’ll prescribe a saline wash for it, but you have to worry about the occasional eye drop.

#eyedrop #like if you drop your glass eye #it would break #puns

April 6, 2016

I thought a spray on tan would look fine but it paled in comparison.

#pale #tan #who knows #puns

April 5, 2016

I was told the stable was at the peak, but I couldn’t see the mount inn.

#mountain!#really stretching for #puns

April 4, 2016

I wanted to write poetry about amateur wrestlers but my editor is obsessed with pros

#prose #english jokes #not a wrestling pun #puns

April 3, 2016

James Bond isn’t always stealthy, but occasionally he’s under covers

#undercover #tell everyone your name #james bond #puns

April 2, 2016

I came back from the gym with a new fungus in tow.

#in toe #foot fungus #puns

April 1, 2016

I tried telling my dad to just replace the batteries in the remote, but he couldn’t find any.

#obvious pun is obvious

March 31, 2016

I aggregated some parking statistics to find out how many spaces there are. It really means a lot.

#means #lots

March 30, 2016

The suicide bomber was seen with a blowup doll.

#elaborate and profound #puns

March 29, 2016

The disney fan wanted a tattoo of Lady, but ended up with a tramp stamp.

#lady and the tramp stamp #spaghetti #dogs #puns

March 28, 2016

When the bodybuilder stopped bulking up, she wondered if her thigh roids stopped working

#thyroid #roid is short for steroid #maybe you could inject them into a thigh #puns

March 27, 2016

The dead raccoon was found in a pile of gnarled branches. Couldn’t tell if it was a rodent or a road ent.

#ents #they're tree people from lord of the rings #puns?

March 26, 2016

When I told the coach I was uncomfortable showering in front of the other boys, he just told me to grin and bare it.

#grin and bear it #awkward supervised nudity #puns!

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