“I’m not stupid. I mean–I know what Dipper thinks, what everyone thinks. I know Dipper’s the smart one and that I’m just–just goofy, or whatever. I’m silly, yeah. But I’m not stupid, Grunkle Stan. I can be just as smart and as succesful as Dipper can! I can go places and be me because I’m not stupid!” Mabel froze briefly, catching herself before she said anything more. In the back of her mind, she knew that Stan wasn’t saying she was stupid. She knew he wasn’t accusing her of anything or of being any sort of way. But, the words had sprung up before she could really stop them; they had been sitting inside her for so long that they just burst up at the first chance she gave them. Despite everything else, that alone felt like a small weight of of her chest. Because she wasn’t stupid–she was right. She didn’t have to change herself to be any kind of way just because her brother didn’t believe in her, or because other people didn’t find her as charming as she thought she was. Shifting in her seat, Mabel tucked her hair behind her ear and tucked those more liberating feelings back down deep inside. She’d deal with them later.
Instead, she reached over to place her hand over Stan’s, gripping it firmly in her own and looking at him very seriously. “You’re not stupid, either. I mean–you’re not. It’s not stupid to act with your heart or to love more or anything, and you’re not–we’re not stupid.” She gave her great-uncle’s hand a squeeze, but she averted her gaze down to her lap. Did she really believe what she was saying? Maybe, but not as much as she should have. The more she talked, the more it sounded like she was just trying to justify it to herself. “We’re not stupid, she repeated, “but I think that maybe we do stupid things, sometimes. Really, really stupid things that we’ll regret for forever.” Clenching her teeth and ignoring the tears she felt coming on, Mabel looked up at Stan for a quick second before pulling her hand away, twisting away from him to get her bag from the back seat. “Grunkle Stan, I made a huge mistake, which is why Dipper’s–why Dipper’s in a bad place. And why he’s so mad at me. It’s my fault we’re fighting,” she explained while she went through her bag.
Finally, she felt her fingers brush the cover. Slowly, Mabel fished it out of her bag and stared at it, taking a moment to just take it in before turning and offering it to Stan. “I found this when Dipper and I moved in with you… I thought it was just some dumb, jokey thing and so I gave it to Dipper, and–and everything’s gone downhill from there. He’s like, so into it–that’s where we always go, and stuff. To find all the dumb fake monsters in this book. And I didn’t want to tell him it was a joke because he loved it so much and it’s just–Grunkle Stan, he was so happy. But then at school he just–we were fighting and I got so mad and it just came out–like…like, I couldn’t stop myself. And then Dipper got mad at me and we weren’t even talking because he ran away and–I don’t know where he went, Grunkle Stan, but he found something really bad there. The–you know. The thing in his head. And I said sorry and we tried to make things better, but I don’t think we can. I think he’s going to hate me for forever and it sucks. But also, um–also, I think…I don’t know. I don’t know what I think, nevermind. But, I’m sorry we lied to you. And that we didn’t tell you any of this and that things got so bad. I’m really sorry. And please don’t tell Dipper I told you. He already hates me enough, y’know? And he’s my only brother, so…”
Stan took the journal from her, not roughly of course, but lacking any sort of hesitation. Holding it, he turned it over and over in his hands, taking in the familiar weight. His brother’s journal, one third of the key to finally getting him back. All the mistakes he had made, he could finally redeem himself from them. He looked at Mabel, “I’m really glad you showed me this,” he said, “some of these monsters in here would make great attractions...no, but really, this is some pretty dangerous stuff. It’s also my stuff.”