Punishment For Her Sins. @punishmentforhersins - Tumblr Blog

i just realized i sent her my ask and she never replied

i hope shes not mad at me :/

#idk #i just #i miss talking to them all #but ive so easily accepted it as well #becasue #what else can i do

god why am i crying over smth so small

my grads not important right?

so why the fuck am i crying

#my periods coming i swear #only reason #otherwsie i wouldnt #im used to it lmao

thoradvice

if you've lost years of your life to abuse or mental illness, please know it's not too late for you. it's never too late for you. you can do everything you dreamed of when you were a kid - there's still time. you have time to shape yourself and your life into what you want. there is no time limit on happiness.

punishmentforhersins

so screw my mom on making me feel otherwise

yknow what i hate most?

that you knew what the adults around me were saying

and you just proved them right

#i know theres a big chance ur seeing these #so fuck you for that #yes im upset #im not getting upset on text #doesnt mean im not

the anon is proabably her.

#if she sends another ask i probably wont reply #we'll see

why did i ignore it all

punishmentforhersins

yknow what genuinely sucks

not being able to get mad at her

because yes as much as she deserves it for making me trust her after the whole shit show iwth my mom she hid all of this

but my heart is fucking soft and is making exucses for her

'she was homeless' 'her friend left' 'she has no one' and fuck i genuinely get all that but oh my god-

yelling and screaming at her wouldnt even resolve anything

no matter how much i want to

i want to so bad

i fucking take and take and take and think 'something good will come out of this maybe'

'surely this cant bite me back...can it?'

and allah swt proves me wrong

that this world is shit and everyone is something else

i know its also becasue i get emotionally dependant

but fuck

punishmentforhersins

i know i saidi believe her apology

but i dont think thats completely true

i dont think i completely believe her.

yknow what genuinely sucks

not being able to get mad at her

because yes as much as she deserves it for making me trust her after the whole shit show iwth my mom she hid all of this

but my heart is fucking soft and is making exucses for her

'she was homeless' 'her friend left' 'she has no one' and fuck i genuinely get all that but oh my god-

yelling and screaming at her wouldnt even resolve anything

no matter how much i want to

i want to so bad

i fucking take and take and take and think 'something good will come out of this maybe'

'surely this cant bite me back...can it?'

and allah swt proves me wrong

that this world is shit and everyone is something else

i know its also becasue i get emotionally dependant

but fuck

#she lied #she lied knowing what my mom said #what all adults were thinking #i wanted to believe that im old enough #ive seen shit #i can recognize shit #but she lied #and i fuckiing hate how i still feel bad for her

i dont know if its a good idea if i say anything to her

...

she showed me how she looked like

so now i feel even worse

i feel so fake

#i wanna cry #am i ruining this #i cant tell #i hope im notmaking it worse #...#i hope they can forgive me

just thinking on and on about it makes me wanna throw up oh my god

i really lreally hope, both of them are not mad at me

#idk #i value and apprecaite them #i #i wish there was a hand book on how to be a good human

thankfully eith all this eid prep i dont have much time to think

#otherwise i might have ad an attack or smth

i dont even know what to feel

...

#it was my fault though right #because i baiscally blindly stayed by her side and supported her #i didnt sya anything #fuck half the stuff i was too tired to really comprehend #...is that an exucse #i dont want to make up excuses for myself #...#now i sound like her too dont i

my chest now oh god

#i hate my thoughts #i reallly #just #dont #no

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