Punkey Ostrich

he/they 🎅 fanfic writer 🎅 former cosplayer 🎅 aroace

[punkey-ostrich]

Heroes Teen AU #6

|| Car Crash A ||

Niki: Damn you! *out of the car* I’m suing!

D.L.: *shrugs* Least my ice cream is- *ice cream falls* Well, shit.

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|| Car Crash B ||

Isaac: Oh, I do hope no one in their car is harm-

Simone: You son of a #%$%&! How #%$& dare you!? Do you $^%$&$ know how much this %$#^ car is $%#$^ worth!?

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|| Car Crash C ||

Meredith: Well, at least I’m not hurt... I mean no one is hurt.

Nathan: Where is my phone!? Damn thing better not be cracked!

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|| Car Crash D ||

Mohinder: Oh, we’re fucked.

Sylar: Relax. We can do this calmly. *cocks handgun*

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|| Car Crash E ||

Hiro: *delirious laughing* We just crashed!

Ando: I am calling for help.

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|| Car Crash F ||

Claude: *knocked out*

Peter: *showcases the crash on social media*

[punkey-ostrich]

Heroes Teen AU #5

|| Car A ||

Niki: Cut me off one more time! I #$^% dare you!

D.L.: *eats ice cream* Stop yelling at people. They can’t hear you.

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|| Car B ||

Simone: Use your $#%& blinker! *gives them the bird*

Isaac: Flipping people off doesn’t really affect them, Si.

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|| Car C ||

Meredith: Do you see that? How hard is it to drive in a straight line?

Nathan: *shrugs* *doesn’t look up from his phone* Don’t care. Let them treat their car like a plane. Doesn’t bother us.

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|| Car D ||

Sylar: *gritted teeth* Get off your phone before I rip it out of your hand and shove it up your ass.

Mohinder: *drops own phone* Not everyone’s trying to kill you, y’know.

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|| Car E ||

Hiro: *looks to the side* Do you see him? He is pressed against the steering wheel. How can he breathe?

Ando: *staring at the car in front* C’mon, speed up already.

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|| Car F ||

Peter: Get your head out of your ass and pick a lane!

Claude: Don’t wave at us like you’re sorry!

[punkey-ostrich]

Heroes Teen AU #4

D.L.: *last to board the bus* There are no seatbelts on this death machine.

Ando: Must have eaten them in my sleep.

Hiro: Not surprising Ando. *laughs*

Niki: Cannot believe I’m riding public transportation. *hides face*

Isaac: What are you talking about? The bus is great.

Peter: The driver’s drunk. Maybe I can take over!

Sylar: *lights a cigarette* Do whatever you want, fucker.

Claude: *rolls eyes* Go for it, Petey.

Nathan: Lemme bum one. *watches Peter*

Simone: *watches Peter* Peasant.

Meredith: *singing* The driver of the bus is lying down, lying down, lying down...

Mohinder: *watches as Peter takes the driver’s seat* This is so illegal.

[punkey-ostrich]

Heroes Teen AU #3

Ando: Let’s go egg some houses!

Claude: What the fuck, Ando? Are you trying to get us all arrested?

D.L.: We’d only get juvie. I’m down!

Hiro: Ooh, we could play Spin the Bottle! *eyes Ando*

Isaac: Boring! Let’s go out for karaoke!

Meredith: Ew, no.

Mohinder: *leans on Sylar’s shoulder* I dunno... I’d rather stay in and watch a movie.

Nathan: God, all of you need to just shut up!

Niki: *incoherent muttering*

Peter: You’re giving Niki a panic attack.

Simone: *staring out the window* Whoa! Did you guys see that flash of light!?

Sylar: *squeezes Mohinder* I think a movie sounds nice.

[punkey-ostrich]

Heroes Teen AU #2

Niki: Alright, I’ve got the recipe.

Simone: *throws dough in the air*

Meredith: Let’s put everything on it!

Claude: *dough lands on him* Quit it, Simone!

Mohinder: We’ll just top it with sauce and cheese and get it over with.

Hiro: *starts food fight with toppings*

Peter: *sees Sylar eating a pepperoni slice* *slaps Sylar with a spoon*

Nathan: Stop fighting!

Isaac: *flips on music* *starts twerking*

Sylar: *kicks Peter in the shin*

D.L.: *finishes the pizza* *puts pizza in the oven*

Ando: *walks into kitchen* I thought we were making sandwiches.

[punkey-ostrich]

What Are You Down For? - Star Trek Edition

Jim: Road trips!

Spock: Reading. And perhaps playing chess, if the Captain is willing.

Bones: Drinking, driving... but not drinking & driving.

Scotty: Shit talking.

Sulu: Fencing. Like you have to ask.

Uhura: Netflix and a glass of wine.

Chekov: Ice cream. It was invented in Russia. *smiles devilishly*

[punkey-ostrich]

How Do You Take a Bath? - Sherlock BBC Edition

Sherlock: sits in bath on phone for ten minutes until he gets sick of it and moves onto the next thing

John: loves baths because of the relaxation

Mycroft: sits in bath with tea and a snack once a week

Lestrade: understands he’s bathing in his own filth and couldn’t care less

Molly: puts in as many bath bombs as possible to feel like a queen

[punkey-ostrich]

What Are You Down For? - Sherlock BBC Edition

Sherlock: Getting high... bad joke. A good mystery.

John: Bad joke, indeed. An adventure.

Mycroft: I need some sleep.

Lestrade: 3am road trip. I’ll drive first. :)

Molly: A nice little complain and vent session would be nice.

Mrs. Hudson: I’ll go make some tea and biscuits. But just this once. You know, I’m not your housekeeper!

[punkey-ostrich]

Reactions to “I don’t like you” - Star Trek Edition

Jim: Get in line.

Spock: How does this affect me?

Bones: *drinks* I don’t like me either.

Scotty: Rude much?

Sulu: Pffft, never liked you much, either.

Uhura: *laughs* okay

Chekov: *sad* What?

[punkey-ostrich]

How Do You Take a Bath? - Star Trek Edition

Jim: fast-paced and quick

Spock: takes showers

Bones: gets in bath to detoxify body with a face mask on and music in the back

Scotty: would take a bath every day all day long

Sulu: takes a bare water bath because of the health benefits

Uhura: sits with candles lit and reading a book

Chekov: soaks until body is shriveled

[punkey-ostrich]

Pompadour and Cornelius

I remember watching Babar as a kid, and I never understood what their (^) roles were in the kingdom/mansion/etc. I knew Babar was King and his family was the Royal Family. Since they were living there too, I just figured Pompadour was like Babar’s brother or cousin, and Cornelius was Pompadour’s husband. And then there was that shorter stenographer secretary-type elephant that followed him around sometimes, and I thought he was their kid.

[punkey-ostrich]

Heroes Teen AU

Ando: ... fuck. We are lost.

Hiro: Does anyone have a map?

D.L.: I thought you said you had a map.

Niki: We are so going to die.

Nathan: Hell, yeah, we are if you keep complaining, Niki.

Meredith: I am surrounded by idiots and unfamiliar places.

Isaac: Rude, Meredith.

Peter: Ugh, it’s this way, you dingbats.

Claude: Hush, Petey, I got this. *gets hits by Peter*

Simone: No, Claude, you really don’t.

Mohinder: Guys, we’ve been walking for hours...

Sylar: What the fuck is wrong with all of you? We are in a mall!

[punkey-ostrich]

FLAG & Singing

Michael: Sings really well

KITT: Can’t sing but does anyway

Devon: Gets annoyed when other people sing

Bonnie: Can sing but is shy about it

@drarreckyninja @crashpit

[drarreckyninja]

Mohinder: I do not believe in you, Sylar.

*closes eyes*

Mohinder: Sylar the homicidal maniac is not in my apartment.

*opens eyes* *looks around, sees no one* *smirks to himself*

Sylar: *taps Mohinder's shoulder from behind*

Sylar: That's okay. I believe in you, Mohinder.