this was my first year going to the think and die thinking fest in san jose, califas. according to their mission, think and die thinking is:
“working toward evoking a trend ofDIY, all ages, youth-affordable and youth-accessible events within an accountable community. We want to acknowledge that all of these components are important and valid to a successful, radical community.
Our vision is to create a space for community members who identify
with radical culture, art and music that did not exist before. “
i found out about think and die thinking through Rich, a friend who helps to organize it. I talked to someone who had gone before, and he said i should go to check it out. full disclosure: i never got into listening to punk, although i have some friends whoare part of the punk communidad in xicago who make zines. that was my access point - thru making zines wit brown and proud press because then we started getting invited to all these punk shows and events to table/sell the zines. i went to the black and brown punk show in pilsen 2 years ago and that was cool because they had rap and punk bands, which i thought made sense! also it was POC organized/prioritized POC bands. aside from that though i wasn’t familiar w/ the punk community even in my own city.
anyways, this year of teaching has taught me to really branch out and be open to people outside of my immediate and intentionally built circle/community. i ended up going to think and die thinking and i didn’t know what to expect! i was sorta nervous because i didn’t know many people, i didn’t listen to the music, but i really wanted to trust that i would gain a lot just from observing how space is created in a community other than my own. i also was invited to do a writing workshop that i specified as pOC only- and i was nervous/excited for that. i was nervous but i went into it with a lot of intentional and positive energy, i reasoned to myself that there couldn’t be anything better than going to a city that i barely know and throwing myself into a situation where i’m going to have to talk to and connect with people from a different community. i am proud to say that i really think that the fest taught me more than i could have anticipated.
think and die thinking taught me several things:
-the power of sustained efforts to build. this fest started 4 (?) years ago and 180 people came to the first one? this year, this weekend, around 1200 people came through! and i’d like to add that i did nOT feel that the fest was majority white! i did not feel uncomfortable, tokenized, nada. so, to me this indicates a sustained effort to build something…a commitment to creating space, to refining it, reflecting, and doing it again. SO MUCH RESPECT TO ALL OF THE ORGANIZERS OF THIS! You are space keepers and stewards of creating important space for people to grow/heal/be angry/be empowered/be who they are.
-the DESIRE amongst people to CONNECT. yall, i went there knowing like 3 people and i left having had really HEAVY CONVERSATIONS about family, identity, personal demons with so many individuals. i think the intentionally created fest space brought that out in people- it wasn’t like walking around an event where people are too smug to acknowledge each others presence. it brought out friendliness in me, like i caught myself greeting strangers and smiling more than i normally smile at people. HAHA! i think that is so cool- what if all spaces were as intentionally created at this? think about the world we would live in, then. it’s totally possible, it just happens in enclaves and pockets. i want to say this was one of the most profound aspects of the fest, where intentional space became a catalyst for authentic connection. i cant stress enough that i think the space actually heightened/supported people in doing this, in the sense that i said a lot of things i had never even acknowledged internally and all of a sudden they were coming out in a dark room in conversation with a new homegirl i met. i think that is so powerful !
-the integration of healing through various mediums of art. the fest had zine tabling, workshops (i think two writing workshops, a zine making workshop? something else!? i forgot, sorry), zine readings inbetween sets, an open mic inbetween sets for anyone to speak, performances by a RANGE of bands/musicians, a quiet zine reading room, a panel on the punk community (important!). i think this was all so necessary because just having a set list of bands at a fest is not going to reach people in more whole ways. like i can def say that about ANY type of music community- hip hop/rap, punk, cumbia/spanish speaking. i think that it mimicked the structure of a conference without being as gotdam overwhelming or bureaucratic as a conference. it also mimicked the important philosophy that we need to reach/acknowledge ALL parts of people- because we are not one dimensional. a lot of times if you look at basic values such as this, we can use them to actually create space. a lot of times though these values are just simply values held in cognition and not practice. this was an example of practice.
-as an educator it was a reminder of how necessary it is to have all ages, accessible spaces! i would love to see something like this in the city of xicago, where i know punks of color HAVE been creating spaces/opportunities for people to be part of their community. i think, however, that a lot of the youth who i work with are unaware of those types of spaces. i know there’s punk shows in pilsen and lil village that they go to, which are waaaay different than think and die thinking, and i think equally of value, but it would be sick to have something similar where young people can go and have their space to think outloud and hear different things. i mean in my workshop there was a 17 year old who taughT me SOOOOOO MUCH just from speaking her piece outloud! so much respect and love for young people and just happy to know this space existed for young folks in northern california.
even though i had very little experience or interaction with the people, musicians, and artists who contribute and go to the fest, i never once felt out of place or uncomfortable. i never felt like i was not learning. one of my favorite parts was the panel on the punk community. i love learning about dynamics in different communities and groups of people, and it is so helpful to hear people hash things out, outloud. i think it helps us confront things that we choose to avoid, i think it affirms our existence and our positions within what we are trying to build.
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