you should go (i want you to stay) | rafe cameron
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reader x rafe; after a drunken hookup, you admit how you really feel.
you always hoped you’d end up here. in his bed, naked. his hand ran up and down along your side, the cold ring on his finger making you shiver. you felt him kiss your shoulder lightly before rolling out of bed. you didn’t say anything. instead, you watched him as he pulled his clothes on quickly, a smile on his face as he met your stare.
“well, that was unexpected.” he laughed, picking up your bra and tossing it at you. “unexpected in a good way, i hope,” you replied as you began to get dressed yourself. “unbelievably good.” rafe winked, opening the door to the balcony and sitting down. you smiled, of course, but a part of you was scared. maybe it was your mistake, going this far with your best friend, who you were crazy in love with. as said before, it wasn’t exactly a planned occurrence. and being drunk off your ass, after a huge party didn’t help.
you followed rafe onto the balcony and grabbed the beer you were drinking, finishing it off and opening another without hesitating. “trying to forget it already, huh?” he joked, elbowing you in the arm. “nah, trying to forget something else.” you mumbled, hoping he was too distracted by the crowd downstairs to notice you responded at all. his hand found your cheek, forcing you to look at him. “what’s up?” the concern in his voice made your insides melt.
maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was the hope you held that he’d feel the same that betrayed the voice in your head telling you not to say anything.
“i’m in love with you, rafe. i’m sorry if that’s weird, and i’m sorry that i-” you couldn’t continue once he pulled his hand away and stood up, shaking his head. “you probably just feel that way because of what we did.” he now stood a few feet away, arms crossed. he couldn’t even meet your gaze. “i’ve felt this way for a long time.” now you stood, inching toward him. “y/n” you don’t know what you're talking about, you don’t love me. okay?” it stung that he was walking over your feelings, instead of accepting them to be true. “rafe-” you began, only for him to cut you off. “this, what we did,” he pointed to the bedroom, where only moments ago everything was perfect. “it was a mistake.’ and as if that wasn’t enough to hurt you, he snatched the beer from your hand, “you should go.”
you felt your heart break right then and there. tears gathered in your eyes, but instead of letting him see how much his words affected you, let them fall after you turned to leave, just as he wanted you to.
you did everything you could to distract yourself. but nothing seemed to really help. was your friendship with rafe really over because you couldn’t keep it to yourself? you felt you had ruined everything. but reaching out first meant apologizing for how you thought you felt. it meant lying. and you refused to do that. rafe hadn’t made any effort to make amends, either. which only made everything feel worse.
as if you hadn’t made enough mistakes in the last while, you found yourself giving into your friends and going to yet another party. you had been avoiding parties, knowing rafe cameron was more than likely at every single one, or the one hosting.
his house was already packed full of people. your stomach churned, regret filling you already. were you even welcome here anymore? the last time you were here he asked you to leave. it took a bit more convincing from your friends, but you found yourself inside his house with a beer in your hand. you tried to enjoy yourself, but it was hard when you couldn’t help but scan the room every few minutes, watching for him. you’d avoid him, if you did see him, of course, but you silently prayed you wouldn’t see him at all. as if he read your mind, rafe entered the room, a smile on his face as he ran into some of his close friends. a lump formed in your throat. you knew better than to wish you wouldn’t see him at his own party. now that you had, you wished you never came at all.
“i’m sorry guys, i think i’m gonna go.” you said to your friends, who were too busy dancing to the loud music to hear you or notice you leaving. hiding behind people as best as you could, you managed to get to the door before you were stopped by a hand on your shoulder.
“y/n?” rafe’s voice met your ears. you turned towards him slowly, refusing to look directly at him. “i’m leaving, don’t worry.” before you could turn to leave, he stopped you again. “i wasn’t worried, i’m glad you came.” you scoffed, unable to believe him. “really? because the last time i was here you asked me to go. so that’s what i’m doing. i shouldn’t have even came.” rafe flinched, but a look of understanding was apparent.
“please, can we just talk? somewhere less crowded?” he pleaded. you rolled your eyes, knowing you’d follow him anywhere even when you really didn’t want to. instead of responding, you waved a hand, motioning for him to lead the way.
as if it were some cruel joke, he brought you right to his room. “rafe, what’s left to even say?” he shut his door and locked it. now you two were alone, in the very room where everything went to shit weeks ago.
“everything. everything i should have said instead of letting you walk out.”
“you asked me to leave, rafe.” he guided you to sit down next to him on his bed. “yes, i know but, fuck, (y/n) i just couldn’t let myself believe it was possible that you could feel that way for me. it freaked me out.”
“well, i’m glad to know how i feel for you freaks you out. is that all?”
“can you just let me say what i have to say? fuck.” you stayed silent, taken back by his tone.
“i’m a mess, y/n. I do stupid shit, and get drunk, and high, and it scared me to hear you say those words because you deserve more than that. it scared me because no ones ever been able to make me feel the way i feel when i’m with you.”
tears filled your eyes, and rafe took your hands into his.
“i decided the second you said it that you were just confused. but that wasn’t fair to you, just easier for me.” he wiped a tear from your cheek.
“ what are you saying to me rafe?” you needed him to be straight up, no more beating around the bush. you couldn’t deal with not knowing exactly what he was thinking or feeling.
without warning, his hand flew to the back of your head, your hair tangled in his fingers. he hauled you closer, hungry for your kiss. his lips found yours with greed.
“i’m saying that i fucking love you. and i’m so sorry i couldn’t admit it before.” you forgave him then and there, gripping his shirt and hauling him back in.
“i want you to stay.” he panted between kisses.
and so you did, just as he wanted you to.
