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@pwushizz
ᡣ𐭩 about me .. ⠀ ⠀ ❞ ✕✕ ♡
( CUPI - he / her - 20 - bigender !! ) ♡ . ageless dni◞ no blog dni◞ basic dni. → ⠀ ⠀drabbles◞ mini fics◞ smau ⠀ ⠀﹕﹕ multifandom(?) ♡︎
< SECRETS WE KEEP > ( ON INDEFINITE HIATUS )
@ 2024 pwushizz ! | do not steal or plagiarize my writing. |
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CHAPTER 12 - RESENTMENT?
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SYNOPSIS Chaos, Love, and Secrets. At Tavyet University, you struggled to make decisions about your future, but it wasn't the only problem. At the same university, your childhood best friend, who vanished, has since been recognized as the president of the student council. He asks you for a big favor after his dishonesty almost cost him his reputation one day
TAGLIST @idkwhattoputasmyusernme @meigalaxy @lizbix @trulyylee @jayzioxx @avalordream @danhenglovebot @bubblebellaz @liaiiy @a-sorrowful-tune @anqelkoz @ilovecats-26 @lalalaloveallmydays @luvlockettt @damnednerd @kidsnipe @icarusthefoolish @okukura @sashaswasteland @honey-and-sweetdreams @usubenidango @vi0let-writes
note: and that concludes act ii !! as you saw in the last screenshot, the date does say december because the story actually takes place around that time! I was hoping I could match it in real time, but irl duties yk ..
just a heads up: the next act WILL be time skipped into spring :) and I will also be taking a small break, not sure when I will return, BUT it won't be that long.. my brain is absolutely fried ough.
please help spread this,Indonesians that are speaking up are actively being silenced.if you didn't know,Indonesians are protesting against their own government but instead of listening they decided to silence us by shutting down TikTok live in Indonesia since people are updating about the protest through there.Now the police are being told to harm the very same people they are supposed to protect. No one is safe. Recently,on 28th of August a 21 year old delivery driver named Affan Kurniawan was struck by a police vehicle not once but TWICE.the police vehicle stopped for a moment and ran him over again,what baffles me the most is that they said it was an "accident".there was also a video where one of the polices in the car was caught saying " Tabrak aja"(just hit them).people said that multiple people were also struck by the Police vehicle but I don't know if its true or not.recently in Jakarta mass shootings are actively happening,there were teenagers that got hit and died some weren't even joining in the protest.the police are also attacking the medical teams and journalists even though there's a rule to never harm or attack them.all of this isnt entirely the polices fault,it's mostly the politicians that ordered them to do it.it was also said that some of the d3ad bodies were even thrown into the lake.
Please pray for us and help spread this.
Like I said,Indonesians are actively being silenced about this situation.they are even planning to cut off the internet and electricity so whenever you try to record what's going on you will hardly be able to see anything.
I will add some hashtags to help spread this.
chapter 12 is in the making, should be done by tomorrow or friday (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡
| secrets⠀ ⠀we⠀ ⠀keep !
CHAPTER 11 - FEELINGS
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SYNOPSIS Chaos, Love, and Secrets. At Tavyet University, you struggled to make decisions about your future, but it wasn't the only problem. At the same university, your childhood best friend, who vanished, has since been recognized as the president of the student council. He asks you for a big favor after his dishonesty almost cost him his reputation one day
TAGLIST @idkwhattoputasmyusernme @meigalaxy @lizbix @trulyylee @jayzioxx @avalordream @danhenglovebot @bubblebellaz @liaiiy @a-sorrowful-tune @anqelkoz @ilovecats-26 @lalalaloveallmydays @luvlockettt @damnednerd @kidsnipe @icarusthefoolish @okukura @sashaswasteland @honey-and-sweetdreams @usubenidango @vi0let-writes
note: hmhmhm ヾ(・ω・`)ノヾ(´・ω・)ノ゛we're getting to the main event soonnn...
chapter 11 is in the making .. __φ(．．)
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CHAPTER 10 - SNOWFLAKE 🏷️
There was tension in the air between you and Kazuha. Your pent-up feelings, which had been held in for almost a decade, had finally been freed from the binds you had kept them in. If anything, you felt free, so open that you could finally relax in due time. A soft exhale —yet weary— left you, burying your face into the scarf Kazuha lent you; you just so happened to take a whiff of the scarf —not in a creepy way— but having something from him makes you want to cherish it like it may slip away from your fingertips again.
After what felt like a millennium, you decided to break the silence. “Ah..Um-” puzzled, you turn your gaze down to your feet that were walking in the snow, your mind could not come up with any topics to discuss; moreover, how do you move on after that? You felt your cheeks warm up from what had happened; your mind had been going back and forth, convincing you that you had done the right thing or that you should not have done that.
“Embarrassed?” Kazuha asks, his tone of approach was gentle with a bit of concern.
You shrugged. “I suppose..I feel like — I feel like I could have approached it more maturely. I’m so sorry you had to see that side of me. It’s just..” You fell into silence, feeling more flushed, “It’s just..I missed you. Years of no information about you, everyone living their days like it was normal, my aunt keeping your whereabouts from me, why was I left in the dark while everyone got to move forward? That hurt.” Your heart felt heavy, like it was a sinking ship. Kazuha took notice of that, his hand carefully reaching towards you to interlock with your open hand on his side. It caught you off guard, and you looked back at him, only to be met with him already staring at you. Those eyes, those scarlet eyes, behind them was also a sense of longing and guilt, too.
“If I were to go back in time to change everything, I would; I never thought my departure mattered to anyone.. I may or may not have assumed you might’ve forgotten about me. But to know you waited for me for so long... It made me realize one thing.”
“And that was..?”
Kazuha breaks a smile, but remains silent; instead, his gaze seems to be fixated on something ahead of him. Your eyes followed to where he was staring, the spacious park, the trees surrounding the area, along with the big giant old tree in the center you and Kazuha had self-claimed, it was definitely the park where you two had hung out long ago.
It took you a second to realize that the most important part of the area, or what brought you and Kazuha together, is no longer there.. The tree.
All that was left was a bench; you knew not everything lasts forever, but the tree held the memories you and Kazuha had together growing up. “I was a bit saddened when I found out about the tree.” He says, his voice lowered. The two of you head over to the bench, and you wipe off the snow that was coating the seat before sitting down.
Even though the park felt the same to you, the layout before your eyes was different; there were less grass and more pathways for people to bicycle or walk on, from a distance there was more wooden benches that looked familiar with the one you and Kazuha were sitting on, and there were trees scattered in some places, but none of them were as old as your childhood tree.
To be honest, you felt like that tree was meant for you and him.
“It’s not everyday I get to go off campus and have walks by myself..or, well, with anyone actually.” Your gaze was focused on Kazuha, he looked so polite sitting there. Hands resting on his lap and posture more relaxed. There was already some snow lightly coating his red jacket, specifically around his shoulders and hair.
He looks like a strawberry coated in powdered sugar.
You listened as he went on, he mentioned his duties as student president and his future while studying literature and you can sympathize with him. You nod to his explanations, “There’s days that keep you hostage, or you’re not sure what path you’re walking on. The future is scary, especially when you feel like you’re alone.” You rest your back against the backseat of the bench, letting out a stressed exhale. “Maybe that’s why Kirara invited all of us out today..to get a breather from our work.” You really should thank Kirara again later on, without her (and your friends support in this crazy situation) you wouldn’t be here sitting with Kazuha right now.
Suddenly, when you heard a small “oh” from Kazuha, you turned your head and he immediately held up his phone. It was a little too bright for your eyes to adjust, but once your eyes had adjusted to his screen, there was an image of a flyer? You took his phone to investigate what you were seeing and your stomach churned “..Oh, it’s already time to prepare for the event soon? Time sure flies huh.” You returned his phone into his hands, looking back at the snowy park. You thought of your time with Kazuha and your “relationship,” even though you two did not do anything..special, you felt disappointed that it’s going to end eventually. What would happen after that? Does he even like you like you (probably) like him?
But you want more, yet you want to throw these feelings away. But you want him..you want him to yourself.
“You’re worried about that, aren’t you?” Kazuha moves close to you, with a respectful distance, and you turn your head away from embarrassment. “..No, I’m not.” You mumbled, you don’t want him to know you liked this; this was the closest thing you could ever get to something romantic before it ends even if it’s not a real relationship.
Kazuha stared at you softly, he looked down at his hand slowly reaching for yours until he pulled back. He realized he’s been touchy a little too much, worried he might’ve made you uncomfortable by now. You were too cute tonight, he wanted to hold you, have you to himself, but he had to keep his promise and respect boundaries, too. The relationship wasn’t real, it’s to save face, but why was he craving more than what you two have? He takes a breath before standing up. “Ah, I lost track of time..I should bring you back to your dorm.” Kazuha walked past you as you stood up from your spot, and you may or may not have caught him blushing. What was it that made him red? You shrugged, following behind Kazuha in silence.
“...Right.”
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SYNOPSIS Chaos, Love, and Secrets. At Tavyet University, you struggled to make decisions about your future, but it wasn't the only problem. At the same university, your childhood best friend, who vanished, has since been recognized as the president of the student council. He asks you for a big favor after his dishonesty almost cost him his reputation one day
TAGLIST @idkwhattoputasmyusernme @meigalaxy @lizbix @trulyylee @jayzioxx @avalordream @danhenglovebot @bubblebellaz @liaiiy @a-sorrowful-tune @anqelkoz @ilovecats-26 @lalalaloveallmydays @luvlockettt @damnednerd @kidsnipe @icarusthefoolish @okukura @sashaswasteland @honey-and-sweetdreams @usubenidango @vi0let-writes
note: winner..(＠´ー`)ﾉﾞ we're two more chapters away from finishing act ii...woah . so sorry if this is short, im so excited to begin act iii because im plotting things.. lastly, im trying out semicolons that were suggested by a friend, so if i misuse them, i apologize! im still learning (／ˍ・、)
I want to extend my apologies to those who have been waiting for my SMAU.
I did not forget. I was supposed to be working on it last month, but you know things happen 。.:☆*:･'(*⌒―⌒*)) My birthday was a week ago, and I was seeing family that week + other things happened that month. It was such a busy time that I never had the chance to sit down and have some time to myself.
The days go by so fast, I don't even realize.. I appreciate all of your love and support, and thank you so much for your patience. I'm just an individual living here and surviving what life throws at me ∑d(°∀°d) Chapter 10 is in the works, though!
bro where did u go
im alive 🥹 things have been taking up my time but i plan on coming back next month!! please bear with me ♡︎
hai .. if u don mind me asking wat app u use 4 smau.. specifically like. … the texting portions 😣
memi message <3 !
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CHAPTER 9 - ANSWER ME 🏷️ (semi-proofread)
Your time at the museum with your friends, and surprisingly Kazuha, had gone well. Though you weren't exactly up to par, you still had a good time. You walked down the steps after exiting the museum. The sun must have set already, since it was soon the beginning of winter. You were awed at the hue of blue-ish purple blanketing the sky above.
“Did everyone have a good time? I sure did!” Kirara chirps, running down the steps. She was holding a few bags in both hands, and you were sure she had a small shopping spree at the gift shop before you all left. “Kirara, you’re going to eventually trip and fall if you keep running down like that.” Chiori follows behind, grabbing some of the bags Kirara is holding when she makes it down the steps.
You see Kaveh on your left, patting down his clothes. He was muttering to himself about where his keys were until he eventually found them in his pockets, sighing in relief. Tighnari, on your right, was on his phone texting what seems to be a group chat you’re not aware of. The profile picture appears to be of him and two other people, a photo icon of a green-haired girl and a white-haired male, with the group titled “Family”.
You made it down the steps as you and your group approached Kaveh's car that was parked near the building, but before you could enter, you felt a tap on your shoulder, making you turn your attention to the person behind you. It was Tighnari, you followed where his finger was pointing from a distance.
It was none other than Kazuha, you see him resting by a couple of fences, but he doesn't seem to notice you and your group.
You look back at Tighnari with a confused look, only for him to nod towards Kazuha's direction. Was he saying you should go to him?
Silent, you thought for a moment, is it okay? But then again, you’ve been waiting for far too long, and if this kept going, you were going to lose it eventually. No more procrastinating, especially since your relationship with Kazuha is on thin ice. Taking a breath and exhaling, you nod to Tighnari’s suggestion before making your way to where Kazuha was standing.
The group had fallen silent, watching you leave.
“So..do you want us to pick them up after their conversation or..?” Kaveh asks.
Tighnari turned towards the group, “Don’t worry about picking them up, trust the process.”
You didn't look back to see your friends quietly cheering you on, but you’re happy you have a support group. But right now, you have this opportunity to finally get your answer.
“Kazuha.”
Kazuha hears your voice calling out his name, his head immediately perks up to look at you, but he senses something is off, and he approaches with a gentle and cautious “Is there something on your mind? You can always talk to me if you’re feeling bothered.” Kazuha stood up. “How about a walk?” He reaches for you, and you gratefully take his hand before walking down the sidewalk. You two didn't know where you were planning on going, but with you together, there will always be a place where you two will create a memory.
︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶
The air is getting colder, clouds are darker and thicker than the sky. You were sure to be prepared for any case of cold weather before you left, but this weather seemed to be unexpected.
“Tonight is getting a bit colder..” You whispered, seeing a misty puff leaving your mouth. You held Kazuha’s hands a bit tighter, seeking that warmth from him.
Kazuha hummed, also holding your hand tighter. “I admire the colder atmosphere, especially when it snows.”
More silence seems to follow.
You weren't expecting this to be this hard at all.
It’s difficult.
“Especially when it’s flurries.. It's beautiful.” You replied. “You can also see the shapes of a snowflake if it lands on you up close, isn’t it pretty? Even though it’ll melt in seconds.”
Kazuha hummed, “That’s right, and to me it seems I’ve caught myself a snowflake.”
“You did? But it’s not snowing?”
“I know.”
Kazuha stopped in his tracks and turned to face you, leaning down to place his forehead against yours, looking deep into your eyes.
“It’s you. You’re my snowflake.”
Your heart skipped a massive beat, no, your heart leaped.
“Where is this coming from..?” You whispered, clearly flustered. You tried to look in another direction to hide your flustered expression.
“It’s been a while since I last teased you. Why, you don't like it?” Kazuha asks, smiling oh so innocently.
“It’s not that- it’s just..you always seem to have ways with your words and I hate that it gets me every time..” You could hear your mind screaming, ‘Now’s not the time to get all mushy!’ You had one objective, and that was to have a serious conversation with him. No more goofing around.
Kazuha had noticed the mood shifting “Ah..I guess we got caught up in the moment. Did I make you uncomfortable?”
You snapped from your thoughts, replied by shaking your head, “Oh..no, it's not that.. It’s um..” You bit your lip, your legs moving on their own to walk a short distance away from Kazuha. Your back was facing towards him, you were afraid to see him look sad or hurt. It wasn’t just you who felt hurt in this, you were sure he felt that way too.
You inhaled, then exhaled through your nose.
This is it. You could feel your heart pounding, but it’s too late to turn back.
“..Kazuha..I’m sure you and I both know we didn’t forget that day, right..?” You softly approach the topic, even if your feelings were practically flooding over the jar that sealed them up for a decade.
Kazuha had seemed to be prepared for this moment to come; he slowly approached you but stopped at a respectful distance. “I know..” He softly spoke.
“So..can you please do this one thing for me?” You bit your inner cheek, you were scared, but you needed this, you waited for this moment for so long. So so long.
“...Why did you leave, Kazuha? Please answer me, why did you disappear?” Your voice shook and croaked. You just allowed your mouth to move, to let out everything you’ve felt and thought.
“I waited for you to come to school, I asked anybody who knew you at school about your whereabouts, and either they gave me ’I don't know’ or ‘I cannot disclose any information about him,’ hell, even my auntie couldn’t tell me.” Tears began to well up in your eyes. “So, you know what I had to do? Every night, I snuck out of my aunt’s home to search for you. I went to your home just to find out nobody was there.. Nobody was there anymore. Just a “for sale” sign in the yard.” You start to sob quietly, placing your arm to cover your eyes to dry them, but the tears couldn’t stop coming out.
“Every day, I wondered when you were going to come back, if we were going to spend time at your place or mine. Or at the park underneath the big tree that holds our memories, everything we did every day.” You sniffled between words, your arm still shielding your face.
There was silence from Kazuha; he just stood there listening to the amount of pain and trouble you had to endure since his absence. You lift your head from your arm, sniffling and hiccuping as you continue.
“Since you left, nobody replaced you, and I made sure nobody could fill the missing hole you left in my heart that was supposed to be your place to begin with.” Your dominant hand reaches towards where your heart is located, clutching your coat as if you’re trying to grab at your heart due to how much you were hurt. “What about you..did you replace me? Was I not a good…frien-”
“No.”
“...?” You look at Kazuha, but your vision is blurry from the hot tears. You could see his figure coming closer to you. He pulls out a small packet of tissues, gently cupping your face in one hand to carefully dry your tears with the tissues.
“I..had no choice.” You could tell he sounded defeated, like the walls he had held up for a while were finally coming down..
But for you and you only.
“The day before you noticed my absence, my father.. He told me we were moving back to where he grew up. We had a family emergency. My great-grandfather had fallen ill, and my father did not waste any time moving us back. As much as I love my family.. I also thought of you. I asked if I could still see you, but he said family comes first. I did not have a say in the argument..because I later found out we were leaving the next day, first thing in the morning.”
Oh, that’s what it was. You felt guilty for holding a grudge against Kazuha over something he had no control over.
“And.. if you’re wondering about my great-grandfather.. Unfortunately, he did not make it. He passed 3 months later, but we were already ready for that moment. My father later sent me to a new school, and I, of course, met new people, but...” Kazuha slowly unraveled his red scarf, wrapping it around your neck and adjusting your coat. You could hear a soft chuckle coming from Kazuha. “How could I ever replace someone so special to me? The one who protected me? Nobody could take your spot that’s been long reserved.” He grabbed your hands and held them tightly as his forehead rested against yours. You two stood there for what felt like an eternity; you did not want to stop, but you still had more concerns.
“But..” you trailed, “Did Mr. Kaedehara at least reach out to us?” you muttered.
“He did.. I accidentally overheard him talking to someone who sounded like your aunt..” He took a step back, letting go of your hands, and you came to a slow realization of something, as if the dots were connected.
“She..knew?” your voice quivered.
“I believe so..that’s why you and I never got into this conversation until now, I had somewhat guessed you knew about my departure..But I suppose I was wrong. I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”
You stood there, recalling the times she gave you vague answers or changed the subject. “I don’t..get it. Why didn’t she tell me? All I wanted was a simple answer, but..” You sighed, rubbing your temples.
“Forget it..I will talk to her tomorrow. The crying made me a little tired..that was embarrassing, I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing for feeling emotions?”
“Because I look silly.”
“That’s not true.” Kazuha shook his head. “That shows you can be vulnerable around me, plus this isn’t the first time I've seen you cry.”
“I- Kazuha!” You stammered, and you could feel your cheeks warming up. “It was only one time, plus you said you wouldn’t mention that again, jeez.”
“Sorry, sorry.” He let out a laugh, it was undeniably cute, it made your heart flutter. Every time you and Kazuha hang out, time always seems to fly. But now it’s time to head back to your dorms, as it is getting late.
“Well..thank you..for this opportunity to tell me what happened. Um, I think I should head ba-” As you were about to turn around to leave, you felt someone grab your hand. You turn to see Kazuha up close so suddenly, and it makes you jump a bit.
“Wait..stay a little longer, please?” Kazuha looks at you, almost with puppy eyes, with a hint of sadness. “At least..let me take you somewhere first.”
“Where..are we going?” You asked, turning your full attention to Kazuha. But before anything happened, small white snowflakes were falling like feathers. You and Kazuha look up together and notice it has begun snowing out of nowhere. It looked beautiful, and the sidewalk was slowly getting covered in snow. You held out your free hand to catch some of the snow, and just as expected, you were able to catch a big one. The shape looks like a typical snowflake you would see online.
It looked so beautiful.
“If only I could stop time and capture this moment forever..I wouldn’t want to leave,” You hear Kazuha say, “But just as snow comes, it also fades away.” His grip of your hand tightens, “That’s why I will make sure..I won’t let one leave me again..” You could hear him mutter to himself, but couldn’t make out what he was saying.
“Um, Kazuha, you said you wanted to take me somewhere, right? Should we get going..?”
“Ah, right, sorry. We will set off now.”
And the place in question was none other than the place you two would share your time together. You wonder if that tree is still here after all these years.
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SYNOPSIS Chaos, Love, and Secrets. At Tavyet University, you struggled to make decisions about your future, but it wasn't the only problem. At the same university, your childhood best friend, who vanished, has since been recognized as the president of the student council. He asks you for a big favor after his dishonesty almost cost him his reputation one day
TAGLIST @idkwhattoputasmyusernme @meigalaxy @lizbix @trulyylee @jayzioxx @avalordream @danhenglovebot @bubblebellaz @liaiiy @a-sorrowful-tune @anqelkoz @ilovecats-26 @lalalaloveallmydays @luvlockettt @damnednerd @kidsnipe @icarusthefoolish @okukura @sashaswasteland @honey-and-sweetdreams @usubenidango
| secrets⠀ ⠀we⠀ ⠀keep !
a kaedehara kazuha x reader smau
CHAPTER 8.5 - PRETTIER THAN THE ART
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SYNOPSIS Chaos, Love, and Secrets. At Tavyet University, you struggled to make decisions about your future, but it wasn't the only problem. At the same university, your childhood best friend, who vanished, has since been recognized as the president of the student council. He asks you for a big favor after his dishonesty almost cost him his reputation one day.
note: silly me, turns out the photos were sitting in my phone for a month?? this chapter is just many perspectives on what's going on before a nice sweet wholesome chapter 👍
i hope you guys are ready.
TAGLIST @idkwhattoputasmyusernme @meigalaxy @lizbix @trulyylee @jayzioxx @avalordream @danhenglovebot @bubblebellaz @liaiiy @a-sorrowful-tune @anqelkoz @ilovecats-26 @lalalaloveallmydays @luvlockettt @damnednerd @kidsnipe @icarusthefoolish @okukura @sashaswasteland
| secrets⠀ ⠀we⠀ ⠀keep !
a kaedehara kazuha x reader smau
CHAPTER 8 - IS THIS FILLER? 🏷️ (semi-proofread)
While scrolling through social media, many people talked about your “relationship”. Some had mixed opinions about it, and some were envious that you were experiencing their dream. In all honesty, this was your dream to date the guy you’ve had a crush on for so long, but this wasn’t an actual relationship. “It’s just to save face..” you murmured. Your body turned in bed to where your back was facing the wall. Today has already taken away your energy, so the most you can do is be in bed on your phone for the time being until the big day tomorrow afternoon when you get to see your friends as a group after several months. You all do see each other, but as time passes, it feels like an event to you now. But now you weren’t even aware you needed a break from everything until now.
And you mean everything.
Your mind immediately drifts to Kazuha, and it makes you turn off your phone, throwing your hands to your face as you roll around in bed. You had completely forgotten that you held hands with Kazuha this morning, but you didn’t understand why you’re so flustered now when you two used to do it as children. Was it because of your now-aware feelings? Or was it because you two did it in front of everyone? The whole campus? That was an exaggeration, but you weren’t a professional at this, so how could Kazuha keep a calm demeanor while you were on the verge of exploding from the inside? The warmth of his soft, shallow callused hand taking yours, his random thumb brushing against the back of your hand and oh- it felt like winning the lottery. Your hands made their way to fidget with the keychain hanging from your phone while being so lost in thought. Truth be told, you’re not ready for the school event to happen. The final day of the event will also be the end of what you and Kazuha had, and every time you remember it, your heart aches.
You can’t run from reality.
Additionally, you needed answers about his disappearance years ago. You keep tackling the topic, but nothing has progressed. It made you upset and bothered, wondering if you’d ever get to that topic with him. You’re positive he’s aware he has some things to say about it but couldn’t because he’s so busy. This indescribable bubbly feeling in your chest had been there for several years, and it had become a part of you. There was a time you asked your aunt where he was, and she could only give you a sad look and then changed the topic immediately. She didn’t want to see you upset over him, so she had done various ways to help you feel better, but looking at it now..she didn’t look sad for you, she looked guilty of something that you weren’t aware of. But it was too late to start connecting the dots, maybe you were just overthinking it due to the amount of stress this week was for you. After your nightly overthinking, your eyes feel heavy, and you slowly drift to sleep.
︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶
You were standing by the gate, scrolling through your phone, reading daily news in your city. Some were positive news, and some were unfortunate. There was a headline that caught your eye: a strange ancient artifact was found outside of your city and is now being put into the museum you were going to later on; maybe you’ll get to see it in person. The image was described as a broken lyre that was used by some god of winds. It’s now very fragile so it’s going to be put in a display case just for safety reasons. It looked so beautiful, so you’re hoping you get to see it. You were so lost in your phone that you did not notice a pair of arms suddenly wrapped around your waist, pulling you in close for a hug. Immediately, you turn your head to fight who the person is, but only to see it was just Kazuha. Your heart skipped several beats; you thought you were dead. His head was resting on the left side of your shoulder, his hair tickling your neck and ear.
“...Good morning, Kazuha? Are you feeling alright?” Your body relaxed under his unusual hug this morning, and he replied with a tired sigh.
“G’morning…overslept..almost late..” He murmured, nuzzling his face into your shoulder. “Don’t want to go to counsel meeting..” He held you tighter. A few students walking by took a glance at you two and giggled at the interaction before heading to their designated places. You pat Kazuha on the arm, reassuring the poor guy. “It’s okay.. it’ll go by swiftly, yeah? Just hang in there.” You smiled, Kazuha slowly pulling away before standing by you. He took your hand, and you two did your usual routine.
Was the hug part of the routine, too?
While you two walked side by side, you noticed he looked slightly of a mess. You stopped walking and let go of Kazuha’s hand. He shot you a concerned look before you immediately began fixing his bed hair and readjusting his glasses. You weren’t sure why you felt the urge to do this, but he did look like a mess.
“Do I?” He asked.
You paused what you were doing as you replied. “Do you what?” You say, holding his glasses in place.
“Do I look like a mess?” He frowned (playfully).
“Yes, you do..I don’t think the student council wants to see their president like this, no?” You took a step to make sure you fixed everything. And after making confirmation, you took his hand in yours. “Thank you..I didn’t have time to make sure I looked okay.” Kazuha uses his free hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind his ear.
“So you’re aware today was going to be a busy day? What, got so anxious to fall asleep last night?” You teased, swinging your hands. You hear Kazuha choke up, but immediately deny it; it makes you suspicious about his sudden reaction, but you decide to spare him.
What was in the air today to make you two behave like this?
︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶
Your classes had ended early, and so you were waiting outside of the school gates, texting your friends to all meet up here. Tighnari and Kaveh will be arriving together, while Chiori and Kirara will be arriving around 5-10 minutes later since Kirara had to finish up some extra deliveries, and one of them was at Chiori’s job. So they should be arriving pretty soon.
“Y/NNN!” You hear Kaveh call out to you from a distance, you look up from your phone and you see Kaveh running and waving at you while Tighnari is walking behind him with a “please-keep-it-down” face. You forgot that poor Tighnari’s ears were sensitive to loud sounds. You waved back at your two friends before they finally caught up to you.
Kaveh looked at you like a mother would; he checked you out head to toe, side by side, and everything. “Are you well? Have you slept? Are you eating well enough? How’s that relationship with that guy?” He was just rambling on while Tighnari sighed, rubbing his temples. “Give them a break, Kaveh. Plus, you’re one to talk. You’re naming everything you’re going through.” He says, putting a hand on Kaveh’s shoulder and pulling him away, ignoring Kaveh's protests. “It’s nice to see you again, Y/N. We missed you a lot. I hope you’re doing okay.” He spoke softly, you smiled at the two. They haven’t physically changed excluding the eyebags. You can tell they’ve been working hard all this time.
“That reminds me, how is Collei? Is she doing well in school?”
“Collei’s well; I’ve been getting positive reports from her teachers from time to time. Collei has also been making lots of friends, even though she claims she feels like she’s not doing enough-”
“Even though I kept telling her she’s doing amazing, she still doubts herself!” Kaveh butts in, jump-scaring Tighnari. “Listen, before Collei started a new year of high school, I had to give her so many tips and tricks on how to survive that hell hole of a school and-” Tighnari covered Kaveh’s face with his palm and shoved him away. “And how to perform well and have at least some social interaction.” His tone shifted to irritation while Kaveh huffed, pulling away Tighnari’s hand from his face. You laughed at their banter, and then your ears picked up at Kirara’s voice from behind. “You all are here!” Kirara squealed, running towards you and launching a bear hug while you were still trying to process what was happening. First, you were alone, and now your entire friend group suddenly showed up. You feel your eyes soften at the sight of your friends.
Indeed, you love them a lot, you do.
“Ahem.” Chiori clears her throat, drawing your and everyone’s attention. “We can talk while we head over to our destination. We should go. I don’t want to be late.”
Kaveh fished for the keys that were in his pocket, holding them up in the air. “Don’t worry, I can drive us there! I got myself a driver's license!”
“You can afford a car? I thought money was tight?” Tighnari asks.
“..I’m borrowing a friend’s car! Now come on, let’s go.” Kaveh huffed before marching towards “his” parked car that was right across the street. While you were looking forward to this trip, you felt some sort of uneasiness bubbling in your stomach. You’re not sure if you ate something bad or are just hungry, but you shrugged it off.
︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶
By the time you all arrived, there were a lot of people around the entrance or hanging out inside the lobby. The museum, the exterior looked so beautiful. It wasn’t one of those basic museum buildings, and this one looked a bit more futuristic, representing today's time.
“Since there’s a lot of people, we should stay together. If one of us gets lost, we can text or call each other.” Chiori shot side glances at Kirara, who was sweating bullets.
Kirara laughed nervously, “W-why are you looking at me? I never get lost!” Her two tails started moving in circular motions, which implied that she was lying.
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that.”
After you all make sure you have your belongings, you all go inside. Kirara went to the receptionist to get you all the tickets, so you had to wait for some time, but it wasn’t too long, roughly about 15 minutes. From outside the lobby you can already see through the window that there were some things you were interested in. With so many crowded people today, there were some things you couldn’t see at all, which annoyed you. While your eyes scanned the outside area, your eyes caught a glimpse of someone with white hair and a red streak. You froze for a moment. Kazuha never told you he had somewhere to be, especially here. You continued to stare at the person who was far from where you were standing, but eventually, he turned around to face someone who was standing next to him. You felt your stomach churn, along with your heart racing a little fast. You’ve always hated that part, feeling sick when you see something or hear something you don’t want to see, but the universe has its ways of making you witness it.
Who was that person?
“YN? Helloo earth to YN!” one of your friends called out to you, causing you to immediately turn to face them. “We’re ready to go. Are you feeling okay?” Kirara asks, looking worried.
“Oh, sorry..I was zoning out.” You looked out the window again, Kazuha and that person was no longer there. Maybe your mind was playing tricks on you due to not properly resting. You tuck your worries; now wasn’t the time to think about that stuff. You joined your friends to head inside and maybe find that person you saw to ease your mind.
Kaveh and Kirara were at the front while you were behind Tighnari and Chiori. Your pace of walking was slower compared to the rest of your friends, your mind decided to play tricks on you and think of worst-case scenarios, and you knew it was bad, you knew it was wrong to do so. But you were so bothered by what you saw. You already had questions for Kazuha and now a new situation was added to the roster. It’s been a bad habit of yours, and your Aunt would be there to comfort you when you feel anxious, but she’s not here right now, so there weren’t any methods to help calm you down with all of these thoughts being loud and blocking the sounds around you-
“YN?” a voice calls out.
You blinked and saw Tighnari standing in front of you; you peeked to the side and saw your three other friends walking ahead. You glance back at Tighnari to ask, only for him to shake his head. “They already knew you looked bothered, so I wanted to personally ask what’s been bothering you.”
Ah, here it was.
You felt yourself sinking from where you were standing, you were about to make your friends carry your burden, again. You cover half of your face in your scarf to avoid smiling out of nervousness. “It’s okay, take it slow. But we’re worried about you, we’re your friends. We’re here to help you, so whatever you have to say, I’ll listen or provide any help if you wish to seek assistance.”
After some hesitation, you told everything to Tighnari, from not knowing when the time was right to express how you felt about Kazuha to what will happen when what you have with Kazuha ends. You speculate he’s hiding something from you, and you know he’s been keeping something hidden ever since you two saw each other again. As you spilled out your worries, Tighnari sat and listened, completely understanding your situation. It’s been so long and you feel yourself losing it. It’s not healthy, and you need to get this situation over with. You have already dealt with years of grieving over the boy you once thought was gone, and now your feelings are on the verge of exploding. By the time you finished venting your feelings to Tighnari, you breathed out, feeling like you were drowning in a sea of your own emotions and thoughts.
He took in everything you said, his silence made you worried if you had said too much. You were about to apologize, but he held his hand up to stop you. “Don’t be sorry for finally telling me how you truly feel; these are your true emotions. You shouldn’t be ashamed of being hurt and afraid for so long.” You look down at your shoes, hands folding on your lap. You prepare yourself for what your friend has to say.
“The best time to tell him your worries is when you get some time alone with him; the times when you were interrupted many times weren’t the appropriate time..So, you should reflect on your feelings before you see him. This can be the first step, you already cleared the main obstacle by telling someone you’re in a tough situation.” By the time he was done, everything made sense to you. You could feel some weight on your shoulders lifting, but not completely.
“If that’s the case..” you pause for a moment, “then..I’ll take your word. Thank you, Tighnari. Thank you so much.”
“Please remember that you are not alone; we’re here for you if you need help. You shouldn't withhold this type of problem from your loved ones. What about your aunt? Does she know about this?”
You shook your head; that was, unfortunately, intentional. You were also suspicious of her, too. But you felt guilty for looking at her that way, she had done a lot for you.
“Would you like some time to yourself?”
“...Yeah, sorry, Tighnari.”
“No, it’s okay, just text us when you’re ready to meet up.”
“..Okay.”
︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶
You’ve been wandering around the museum like a ghost; you felt exhausted, too, after venting. Your legs were tired from walking, and to your surprise, you found a bench. You make your way over so you can finally rest your feet, and a wave of relief washes over you. You’re tired, so tired of this feeling. Just when you thought venting to Tighnari worked, that feeling is still present. After some reflection, you got yourself together. It wasn't the end of the world if your fake relationship with Kazuha ended; there are other options to keep him in contact if he wishes to. Taking a deep breath, you stood up, but your head collided with someone else’s, causing you to almost fall back to the bench. Their arm caught you to prevent you from falling. You opened your eyes to see who they were
And to your blessing horror.
It was Kazuha.
“YN, are you okay? You didn’t look so well when I saw you from afar, so I immediately came over to you.” His eyes were filled with worry, he looked so beautiful up close-
this wasn't supposed to happen..!
You nod quickly, standing up to fix yourself. “Yeah, yeah! I’m okay, I promise!” You felt your heart racing, and your vision was all over the place. “Um..I didn’t know you were here..are you alone?” You asked sheepishly.
Kazuha sighed a breath of relief, knowing you were okay. “I came here with my roommate, he had a project to do, so I brought him here so he could do what he needed to do. He told me I could go and do what I want so..here I am?”
Oh, that person he was with was just a roommate..phew.
“So..are you only here for your roommate?”
“Not anymore. He can handle his project on his own, don’t worry.”
There was silence between you two. You want to talk to him. But you have to be patient.
Kazuha asks. “Do you want to look around with me?”
“Oh..is that okay?”
“Why wouldn't it be? I would love to spend time with you especially after being under pressure by my peers all day..I find myself calm when I'm around you.”
You felt your heart pound like crazy, but not the one from earlier.
What wouldn’t you give to kiss him right now in front of everyone?
| PREVIOUS |⠀ ⠀| MASTERLIST |⠀ ⠀| NEXT |
SYNOPSIS Chaos, Love, and Secrets. At Tavyet University, you struggled to make decisions about your future, but it wasn't the only problem. At the same university, your childhood best friend, who vanished, has since been recognized as the president of the student council. He asks you for a big favor after his dishonesty almost cost him his reputation one day.
note: im so sorry for the long wait again :( Procrastination hit, and I had to redo this fic many times..i think I'm satisfied w this LOL
TAGLIST @idkwhattoputasmyusernme @meigalaxy @lizbix @trulyylee @jayzioxx @avalordream @danhenglovebot @bubblebellaz @liaiiy @a-sorrowful-tune @anqelkoz @ilovecats-26 @lalalaloveallmydays @luvlockettt @damnednerd @kidsnipe @icarusthefoolish @okukura @sashaswasteland
AQGAGAH I THOUGHT I DIDN'T POST CH 7 😭😭 omg i literally edited my written chapter in my docs...oh my god . i was supposed to be working on 8 AND 9. :'''')) im so tired i just woke up LMAO
| secrets⠀ ⠀we⠀ ⠀keep !
a kaedehara kazuha x reader smau
CHAPTER 7 - GET UP. (not proofread?) 🏷️
Those past three days made you nervous, to be honest. Your friends gave you some helpful advice, but you still weren't sure if you were doing the right thing. You accepted Kazuha’s offer to be in a fake relationship to save his reputation. On top of that, one of his messages has been replaying in your mind like a broken record.
"You’re the most suitable person for this.”
Your heart, which tucked away its feelings for him, may or may not have fluttered. You might consider yourself lucky that it wasn't a random student or a friend doing this right now. You weren't completely over him. It was just an obstacle that got in the way and maybe ruined your chance on that day, it left a bitter taste in your mouth, and your hand subconsciously squeezed at the cold drinking cup you were holding, causing it to crackle a bit. You were too deep in thought that Kazuha eventually made his appearance.
"Something on your mind? You look troubled.” The familiar gentle voice made its way towards you, making you snap back to reality. "No, it's okay, I must've not been resting well lately. I've been doing a lot of assignments and been working a little extra to earn some money. I apologize.” You readjust your posture in your spot, seeing Kazuha sit down next to you, but at a respectful distance. You two have decided to meet up somewhere private on campus, well, a secluded place not many students visit often.
He even brought drinks, how generous.
“Why couldn't we just go somewhere public like a cafe or something? Are you sure we're allowed to be here?” The scenery around you was soon to be grown plants and flowers. It was another indoor greenhouse, but it didn't look like many people had visited. You two are sitting at the very back where the bigger plants are located. If someone were to come in, you two wouldn’t be spotted unless they head to the back. "My apologies, you see, I've grown fond of nature and this is one of the places I hang out in whenever I need some time to myself after drowning myself in work.” He sat back against a brick wall that was behind. You nod in agreement, this time of the year has been a little tough on you and other students. It was exams, you barely got to text your friends and you're positive Kazuha may have been getting 10x the work as well. Your photography classes have been a breeze, but there've been a few hiccups along the way.
"So..um,” your fingertips drum against your drinking cup. Unsure how to approach the main topic. "Aside from exams and all.. shouldn't we discuss the real reason we're here?” He caught on to what you were implying, responding with a sigh.
“Right, let's cut to the chase. I do want to ask you one more time, properly and face to face. If you do not feel comfortable with this, please say so.” He says with a tone shift in his voice. Once engrossed in his surroundings, now being straightforward and serious.
"One more time, are you sure you want to go along with this?” You can feel his scarlet eyes gazing at your side profile, feeling like a statue. Your body tenses up and your head nods in response.
"Y/N, please look at me.” Kazuha slowly made his way to you, softly holding your shoulder. You picked up your head, looking his way. It was like you were brainwashed at that moment, following his honeyed voice.
"Are you sure you want to do this with me?” He repeats.
Your breath was caught in your throat for a moment that felt like an eternity. If you had your camera with you, his look right now would've been perfect. Your head has nodded once again, your voice following.
"Yes, I'm positive. I want to help you, even if we haven't seen each other in years, ..you still have a special place in my heart.”
For a moment, Kazuha felt his heart stop by the way you’re speaking.
"I’m happy to know you haven't forgotten about me after all these years. And.. Thank you, for placing your trust in me. Now then — shall we begin our discussion?”
. . .
"Until the last day of the school event? Are you sure?”
"I’m positive. Everyone might forget about us by then since my council will hold a very well-put-together spring event.”
"But, that's 4 months away. Wouldn't this relationship,” You say with your fingers making air quotes, "cause another heavy weight on your shoulders?”
Kazuha laughed, shaking his head. "If anything, you being involved in something would never be an additional weight on my shoulders.” He takes a sip of his beverage, while you sit there in shock. You never know if your presence would be a positive factor for him.
"If that's the case.. oh — that reminds me…what about PDA? Do we act like what couples do in public?” Your voice trembled, your nervousness making your stomach flutter. The only times you knew about romantic stuff were when you’d watch romantic shows or see couples in the halls during your time at school, and here. It was cute to see everyone show each other affection, but it gets to a point when you’re in a rush to your class and they’re blocking your path.
Kazuha didn’t reply for a few seconds, which felt like forever, but he seemed to be thinking about your question. Before you could take back what you said, he finally answered. “Hand-holding can work, if that’s okay with you?”
“Oh, like when we would hold hands on our way to school?” You perked up, moving a bit closer to Kazuha. The memory seemed to make Kazuha remember as well, his expression lightening up along with his replying in agreement. The two of you would hold hands when it was rainy or cold on your way to school. Your aunt would always smile and have a giggling fit, taking photos of you two. Kazuha held his drink in both hands, looking down at his shoes to hide his flushed face. “And it was my suggestion that we should do that, I was worried one of us would get lost because of how far our school was..” And before he could continue, his phone rang immediately, causing you two to jump at the loudness. You could’ve sworn you heard a disappointed sigh from Kazuha before he fished for his device from his pocket.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t think time would pass so quickly. Our..fake relationship will begin when we meet tomorrow morning.” He smiled at you, handing his leftover drink to you before waving goodbye and leaving to answer his phone.
…
You know, whenever you two have a moment together, someone or something would ruin the moment whenever you have a moment alone with him. “..So unfair,” you mutter to yourself, drinking the remaining beverage out of the straw Kazuha drank out of. “Why can’t I have one moment with him to myself..” Perhaps this is a reminder that he’s a busy man now, maybe this might also be happening frequently, which hurts to admit.
| PREVIOUS |⠀ ⠀| MASTERLIST |⠀ ⠀| NEXT |
SYNOPSIS Chaos, Love, and Secrets. At Tavyet University, you struggled to make decisions about your future, but it wasn't the only problem. At the same university, your childhood best friend, who vanished, has since been recognized as the president of the student council. He asks you for a big favor after his dishonesty almost cost him his reputation one day.
note: a little rushed - I've been so busy lately, I'm sorry 💔💔 also kazuha's brain got fried during his chat with you because he got embarrassed about what he said in slide 10 poor bb is stressed out from everything and everyone (except you) please ignore the mixed timestamps idk what I was doing there.
TAGLIST @idkwhattoputasmyusernme @meigalaxy @lizbix @trulyylee @jayzioxx @avalordream @danhenglovebot @bubblebellaz @liaiiy @a-sorrowful-tune @anqelkoz @ilovecats-26 @lalalaloveallmydays @luvlockettt @damnednerd @kidsnipe @icarusthefoolish
IM SCREAMING UR STUPID SMAU IS YUMMYS JAKSBWJWJEBJWKWKENHSKSKSLEELLSKEKEKEJJW
you're so sweet 🥹🥹💕
Hi, i was just reading through the new chapter and i think you might be missing one picture.
The conversation with Kaveh doesn't exactly make sense because it goes from
This
To this
Not sure if that's intended or not but if it isn't i wanted to let you know!
(please don't mind the fact that it's 5am my time)
😭 I DID omg thank you i knew something was off. it's been fixed. thank you again :'')
