How does a relationship work if you don’t feel romantic attraction? I know you hc Grace as aroace but still ship + nsfw him. Sorry if this is offensive I’m just new to aroace stuff and want to learn
you're fine dw!! being aroace is a spectrum and there's a lot that goes into it like any other sexuality. it def can sound confusing (it was to me a few years ago when i was figuring it out).
sexual attraction: feeling attraction/desire to have sex with another person. this can change over time with a specific person too!
libido: desire for sexual activity (includes masturbation!) and doesn't necessarily have to do with another person.
sex favor-ability: your experience/appreciation of having sexual activity, touch, etc.
all of these apply the same way for romance---desire to have a romantic relationship, desire for romantic action, and your appreciation of such. you can never "fall in love" with someone and want to have sex with them, you can simply have a friendship with benefits, or you can have a partnership where you and your partner are sexually active, but you only "give" and don't "receive" sexually. you can have none of the above. some people only feel any combination of this way towards people that are obtainable like celebrities and fictional characters, but have zero actual desire to do those things irl. some people with dissociative disorders may even only prefer "internal" relationships! some people have no desire for a partnership/queer-platonic relationship at all. it's a ~spectrum,~ babyy
personally, i'm aroace and sex favorable because it feels good. i very rarely feel romantic attraction and when i do, it's gone as soon as its reciprocated. i use the word "partnership" because that matches my partner and i's style best---we're active, but we do life together. we're best friends and D/s and life partners. we don't consider ourselves to be romantic at all.
i headcanon gracerocky + grockdrian through the lens of my own experiences. eridians fascinate me because i think how they do relationships are similar to life partnerships---courting is showing you are a good fit to be next to that person forever. i write grace as a sex favorable asexual---after getting to know them, he likes to feel good and make his partner feel good. it's an act of trust. he has desire for the act of sex itself, but he's not looking at anyone and feeling sexual attraction to their body. i think on earth he's stressed from societal allonormativity and pressure to be in a romantic relationship. on erid, it's a relief to just be---when he's with adrian and rocky, there's no norms of kissing, holding hands, or showing off a relationship to the world. they're mates for life and it's more about making sure no one sleeps alone than it is romance :)
a lot of aroace people write nsfw & ships too because at the end of the day, you're an observer and not participating. someone on here once said that "the coach doesn't play" and tbh that sums it up lmao
i hope i explained it well, thank you for the ask ♩♬♫~!
