james and lily potter moves to a new neighbourhood with their 8 y/o son harry.
draco lives across the street and is an incredibly nosy child.
while harry helps his dad moves boxes, draco crosses the street with an eager face after seeing him. he’s excited to have a new playmate.
don’t get him wrong, he likes playing with pansy and blaise but it’s nice to have an addition with their circle. besides, he’s basically a third wheel between the two. maybe this new kid can be his best friend.
he says hi to harry who almost dropped the box with a startled expression.
ever eager to help and energy flowing with enthusiasm, he snatches the box from harry.
“here let me help you. i’m draco. draco malfoy. i live across the street.” he holds his hand out but harry frowns at him and calls lily.
slightly hurt from the rejection, he beams his most lovely smile to lily and introduces himself while harry hides behind his mother’s legs.
lily smiles bemusedly at his son, “hello draco. it’s nice to meet you. i’m lily and this is my son, harry. he’s a bit shy.”
ah, draco thought, harry doesn’t mean to reject his handshake. he’s just shy. he just have to be determined for harry to like him. they’ll be friends in no time.
after helping the potters move the boxes, he and harry have at least exchanged ten words.
draco starts to visit harry a week after. he planned to visit the next day after the potters moved but narcissa stopped him and told him to let them settle first. he waited patiently and after exactly seven days passed, he runs over to his new neighbour’s front door.
sometimes lily would open the door and she would smile at draco, happy that harry will not be having trouble making friends. sometimes it will be james, but never harry.
draco and harry would play inside harry’s room. draco will talk for hours and play board games with harry but mostly, harry ignores him while he draws. he only plays board games with draco if lily is somewhere nearby.
that’s okay, draco thought. he’s just shy.
school starts and draco looks forward being in class with harry. there are not much kids around godric’s hollow. he and harry will be likely put in one section.
draco introduces harry to everyone much to harry’s dismay. he thought at least in school, he can avoid draco but apparently not.
draco always walk with harry going home after school. harry would listen to him while he tells about his day and harry will offer few non-committal sounds. draco understands that harry doesn’t speak much but that was okay. he and harry works, he thinks. he’s good at talking and harry is good at listening. it was a routine they have fallen into until when both of them turned 11. harry has picked up playing football as a hobby and has been staying longer outside.
always have turned to sometimes to rarely until they stopped walking together after that.
draco still sees harry in the morning waiting outside for lily while lucius drives him to school. he never fails to say good morning and harry would nod his head to him.
secondary school is different. draco watches harry grow into a young man. he watches harry sheds his shy demeanour in exchange for social confidence as the growth spurt did good on him.
draco will look at harry sometimes and he’ll find that harry has pretty green eyes. it wasn’t like that before was it? he asks himself. harry’s newly developed deep voice sends a tingle in his spine and draco will ask himself if this is a normal reaction you would have over your childhood friend.
as draco struggles with his identity and sexuality, harry’s social life blossoms after meeting ronald weasley and hermione granger.
now part of the football team and surrounded by friends, harry finds himself busy enough that he’s on the verge of neglecting his studies.
thankfully, draco always sits behind him and would whisper answers on his ear during tests, never mind that draco seems to sniff his nape occasionally.
draco joins the science club. draco’s love for experiment has never waned since childhood. he’s always curious. if he wants to be a chemist someday, his records should be spectacular.
begrudgingly, draco is not the only smart student. hermione seems to up him one way or another but it has always been a healthy rivalry between them.
outside the academic rivalry, he develops a friendship with hermione. although having harry as a common friend, they have never hung out all together before.
he and hermione would spend together studying at the library and talk about the latest news and discoveries. it’s an easy-going friendship that it’s hard for him to be angry at her. draco would never admit it to himself that seeing harry become closer to hermione and ronald and drifting apart from him hurts.
draco is seventeen and he has stopped talking to harry. he rarely cross paths with harry anymore and both are busy with extracurricular activities.
draco used to watch harry’s all football games, be it a practice or an official game and now has exchanged it for a lazy afternoon nap to catch up the sleeps he’s missing for all the late night studying.
draco is social enough to have friends besides harry but it’s never the same. he misses pansy and blaise, wishing both of them live in the same neighbourhood as him.
the opportunity to go out presents itself in the form of neville longbottom. the guy loves plants as much as he loves his girlfriend. maybe even more than her. they’re project partners and while in the middle of typing their research paper, neville invites draco to a party.
draco hums, not really aware of what he’s agreeing to, his focus is solely on the paper in front of him.
the day before the party, neville reminds him of it and draco is a ball of anxiety. he used to go to with harry but now, he doesn’t think he has the nerve to ask harry to go with him.
he spends two hours typing and re-typing his message to harry. this is harry only, draco scolds himself. you watched him lose his front teeth and cried with snot when he fell on the monkey bars. why are you nervous?! bc you both are not talking anymore, his brain offers.
he flails in his bed and screams into his pillow. he misses him.
he doesn’t send his message.
on the night of the party, he brings luna with him. they’re good friends. luna is pretty weird but the good weird. luna’s observant and probably knows how much draco needed someone to go with him. he’s secretly grateful that luna doesn’t ask why.
draco’s actually starts having a good time after seeing familiar faces.
surprised, he finds harry in the kitchen. he lowkey knows harry will be here but harry’s been put at the back of his mind all night until he sees him.
harry looks good. quite handsome, if draco is going to admit to himself. he’s wearing a tight jeans and plain v-neck white shirt that hugs his body, showing his muscle outlines. he’s seen this in his dreams too many times but never expected he’ll see one soon in reality. he touches himself at night with this mental image and sometimes with harry naked. he has accepted that he likes boys and his inclination towards harry but he still feels guilty that he finds pleasure fantasizing his friend; the shame has been part of the reason he stopped talking to harry.
but the sight of harry isn’t the reason that he stops breathing.
harry is standing in the corner and flirting with cho chang. he knows her from the sight of long black straight hair. draco stands there for a long time and doesn’t move. he thinks his world shatters when harry moves forward and closes the distances between him and cho.
they look perfect together. draco swallows a lump in his throat and blinks back the sting of tears in his eyes. he forces himself to move. he turns around and bumps into hermione. before she figures out why he looks like his pet cat died, he rushes outside the door. he didn’t bother finding luna. luna can handle herself, she’ll understand after he apologises tomorrow.
hermione catches up to draco. he ignores her, afraid to see the pity on her face.
“draco, stop.” he does when he realizes he’s walking fast and hermione is catching her breath.
“i— look draco, i know it’s not my business— ”
“damn right it’s not.” he sneers but regrets it after seeing hermione’s surprised and hurt face. “i’m sorry,” he exhales, hands pushing to his face and held it there, head tilt back to stop the incoming tears. “i don’t want to talk about it.”
“you can always talk to me draco, i may not understand but talking and telling someone helps.” hermione reaches out, pushing draco’s hands away from his face and squeezes it.
“i’m your friend too.” the tension leaves from draco’s shoulders and he squeezes hermione’s hand back. “thank you,” he whispers “but not now. i want to be alone.”
hermione nods sadly and she watches draco walk away. she shakes her head solemnly, sometimes harry is an idiot.
the flip doesn’t happen that night. it happens weeks later after avoiding harry like plague. they still have classes together, but he stops looking at his direction. he stops looking at harry whenever they are at the same room. he can’t handle it, it suffocates him. if dealing with his sexuality before was a crisis, pining after a straight person is much worse. he’s afraid that if harry meets his eyes, harry would know. draco knows his face is like an open book.
he tries to fight down his panic when one day his mother wants him to go over to the potter’s and return a tupperware to lily. he’s just going to return it, there’s is no guarantee he’ll see or bump into harry, he tells himself.
he can feel his heartbeat going twice the rate when he crosses the street and thrice when he presses the doorbell. it calms down a little when james opened the door and it picks up its rate when james ushers him inside and tells him to wait for lily.
he goes inside and lily takes the tupperware from him.
he hastily says goodbye but lily tries to call harry so he can say hi, draco says it’s okay, let’s not bother harry, and they’ll see each other at school. lily frowns for a sec, confusion etched on her face.
“nonsense, harry would love to see you. i, for one, is happy to see you again. i haven’t seen you in ages! how are things at school?” lily says.
draco feels warm from the motherly affection but it’s not enough to bring his anxiety down.
he can hear voices from the upstairs that are coming closer.
“i don’t have the time to go outside recently. i’m focusing on my studies right now.” draco bites his lower lip, his heart pounding loud again bc that’s definitely harry coming down. he needs to go, asap.
“i’m sorry mrs. potter but i really have to go.” he turns back but lily yelps. “i forgot! wait, draco. can you kindly give this to your mother?” lily lifts a magnet off from the fridge and holds a letter. she flip it to the other side to check the receiver and turns to face draco again —
“…have you noticed malfoy is being weird than usual?” “idk ron, i haven’t been exactly hanging out with draco for months.” “that’s a good thing right? it means malfoy has stopped obsessing over you?” “yeah…” harry’s voice trails when he sees his mother and draco standing in the kitchen looking at them. lily is glaring at him and draco looks pale.
draco doesn’t meet harry’s eyes and moves to get the letter from lily, his hand shaking. he says goodbye and runs out of the house as fast as he can. he doesn’t look back when lily calls his name.
ah, he thinks. harry has never run after him. even right now, harry will not. he thinks that maybe if harry does, he’ll forgive him. but all he hears is the loud slam of his door and his blood pounding in his ears.
