adri

just be a rock. We’re all small & stupid.

[pyjamas-asj]

[ur-daily-inspiration]

[only-cat-memes]

[pyjamas-asj]

Nothing makes me feel more sad and unworthy like when I lie in my bed and pick up my dog to snuggle with him only for him to slip out of my arms and go sleep at the end of my bed instead like just say you hate me :(

[thememedaddy]

[angstitty]

The fact that Car Seat Headrest played in my hometown with Lucy Dacus as the opener in one of the smallest and most intimate venue but I was TOO BUSY being a stupid fucking 12yo argh

If I had a time travelling machine

[pyjamas-asj]

[pyjamas-asj]

Healing was never lighting candles or having a hot bath.

Healing was trying not to make a sound whilst you sobbed under the covers.

It was clawing at your face whilst your eyes grew itchy and red.

Healing was eventually admitting defeat and allowing slumber to carry you into its gentle arms.

It was then waking up the next morning feeling slightly lighter.

[pyjamas-asj]

[pyjamas-asj]

I look back at pictures of us and it just feels like blips of a dream at this point. I dream that we’re back in the arcade we always used to go to every weekend and I’m tiptoeing at the till to see which prize I want. You’re carrying all the tickets we won. I fall asleep to the same dream and wake up to the same nightmare.

I’m not even bitter at this point, I’m just more sorry than anything. I’m sorry that your guilt is eating you from the inside out and that your sole purpose to contact me is to make yourself feel like a better person. To tick my name off your “to-do” list every six months to gain some sense of closure because it makes you not so absent but “distant”.

I’m also sorry that from that “distance” you can still see how much better I’m off without you and how you’ll see me grow perfectly fine out of your reach. It makes me somewhat proud of myself. That without you I’m okay.

Most days I do wonder what other memories we could’ve made together, but for now I’m content with dreaming instead.

[sambeck]

my boy