The Departure of The Queen of the Night
“Remember to write, Ali.” Gabriel looked at her with misty eyes.
“All the time.” She replied with his face in her hand as the train was heard chugging away, nearing them in the distance as the conductor announced its arrival.
“I know I have already said but I’m so proud of you. I’m glad you’re doing this. For you.”
With a wistful smile, tears welled in Alicia’s eyes. “Not just for me this time.” She rubbed his cheek softly with her thumb. “I’ll miss you, Gabi. But we will see each other again, I promise this time. You will know exactly where I am.” She smiled through the trail of glistening tears down her cheeks.
Without another word, Gabriel’s arms wrapped around her and she reciprocated tightly. He had always smelled the same. Inexplicable, but always comforting.
The train finally came to a stop beside the platform, though neither wanted to let go first. She was glad the sounds of the engine were so loud, she was sniffling so loudly.
People were beginning to alight and Alicia had to pull back first, reaching up to dab at her cheeks.
A small nod came from Gabriel’s bowed head as he helped her with her suitcases after wiping at his face with the back of his hand. They waited for everybody else to get on before them, wanting to hold onto those precious moments before they had to part again. Those moments couldn’t last quite long enough.
Finally stepping up onto the train, she turned and Gabi handed her the cases. Setting them down at her feet, she leaned down and reached out to take his face, eyes closed as she pressed her lips onto his. To pour out all the love she had for him from the very start. A silent thank you from her to him.
The whistle blew and a steward came by to tell them he had to close the door.
She reached out for Gabi’s hand one last time and squeezed. “Te amo, Gabi. Te amo tanto.” She pulled her hand away and with pools beneath her eyes, she finally stepped back and allowed the door to close.
“Te amo, Alicia.” He managed to squeeze in before the door locked.
She swiftly took her cases aside and took a seat by one of the windows, pressing her hand against the window as her best friend pressed his hand to mirror hers on the other side.
Her bottom lip quivered as she continued to mouth to him that she loved him. She loved him so much, the man who protected her, with those same eyes as the boy who teased her for being an annoyance.
Before she was ready, though she was never to be, the train began pulling away. Slowly at first, and Gabi went along with it. Slowly too, but following her, eyes locked on her face as she still pressed her hand against the glass.
She kept her eyes on his. The train began going faster. Chugging. Each step in the man quickened and she leaned up from her seat as he stopped being able to keep up as well. She reached out for him, but it was too fast. All she could do was wave as his face retreated into the distance.
She sat back and she cried. It wasn’t goodbye. But it sure felt like it.
It was not an easy life in Paris but she made it her own, the first time she had made a decision for herself. All those decisions that led up to this one - to go back home and face the demons she thought she had buried in the past.
She always felt different in the day than she did in the night, through the windows of the train she basked in the warmth of the early Spring sun. She had never quite gotten the grasp of the light. The sun was always so telling when in the darkness she could hide behind as many veils as she wanted. No, in the day people could see every flaw, every dip and curve of her painted face, every minute expression she pulled. But at last, she could not have cared less.
Sat in her seat on the train she stared outside the window though focused on nothing in particular as scenes of the outskirts of Paris flitted by. Her hands wrung together as trees, fields and hills passed by. A strand of loose hair at her cheek tickled her and she brushed it behind her ear before looking down at her lap.
For so many around her it was just another day. Men, women and children simply going about their day. Some travelling for work. Some to visit family. Some to embark on an adventure. And some, like her, were going home.
It was funny to think it took a piece of home catching up with her in Paris for her to realise she didn’t quite belong. It was not the shiny and beautiful place it once was to her, but it was all fine. It did not have to be perfect because the best things in life were not.
From all the heartbreak she most treasured the love that caused it. From all the twisted ankles and bruised hips she most treasured the feeling of being on top of the world. From all the judgemental eyes that were ever laid on her she most treasured the feeling of being adored when she was on the L’Enfer stage.
From just a little girl in Barcelona being told what to do, she became a woman in Paris doing whatever she willed herself to do.
She did exactly what she had set out to do.
No, there could be no regrets.
Nobody could regret Paris.
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