my side of the story

afg.

[qandariii]

I lay in bed tonight and cry. Because I lost.

[thegoodvybe]

[qandariii]

We already lost each other. What more is there to lose?

[muhtesemz]

لا تغيبوا طويلاً ثم تأتوا و تسألوا عن حالي

فالتفاصيل تموت مع الوقت ، والحكايات تتغير

Do not be absent for long, then come and ask about how I am,

Details die with time, and stories change.

- Mahmoud Darwish

[twerkingforchrist]

She handed me a Chinese fortune that read “you will bring sunshine into someone’s life” and on the back she had scribbled “you are my sunshine” ever since then she hasn’t been just a lover, but my best friend. I love her so much.

[qandariii]

I finally get it.

What women and men talked about all along. When they felt like Islam failed them and so they ran away as far as they could from it.

They felt like they were so let down, their wish taken away from them, that they felt like “what’s the point of living? My life will be one struggle to the next with tiny moments of happiness that will never amount to much”

Or they felt that they did every thing the right way. They followed the rules and got left behind.

And that’s how I feel at this exact moment. That I tried my hardest to be the best person I could. Clean hearted. Modest. Aware of everyone and everything around me. And I lost something I really wished for. Something I deserved. That hurts.

I see why people go out there and get wild and careless. They feel like the good they did within themselves didn’t come back to them.

I have faith in God. I have faith in God that things will fall in place. No matter how many years it takes. No matter what changes in my life and what doesn’t. The pieces will fall in place. I just hope I don’t lose myself in the process.

[qandariii]

They keep telling me life is unfair and I keep reminding myself that I have faith in God. I lean on Him.. knowing things are gonna end up alright. Somehow..

[notmytmblr]

It’s so different being loved by a good man

[aboghram]

I thought about you, then I prayed for you ..

[ummomayrr-deactivated20200408]

The hearts, despite the distance, are connected..

[nfs9]

[massivesleepcycle]

I hope we teach our children that deen is protection, not restriction.

[qandariii]

I’m sorry for breaking your heart.

[qandariii]

The journey has begun.

A silent one. With silent tears and silent smiles. But my notebook will be there with me along the way.

And I have to remind myself we all go through ups and downs. Sadness and happiness.

Although I imagined this year to be better than the last, there is so much that I need to work on. But it’s hard when your surroundings push you down. And you can’t find a way to get away. So instead you release it on everyone around you. You hurt the people you love.

I stopped writing for so long, but to write again, I know how sad I am. I know what kind of place I’m in mentally to need to write again.

Sigh. It’s a trek that can only be done alone.

[qandariii]

Communication is talking about the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Communication is not keeping everything inside and then exploding one day. Neither is it gaslighting.

Communication is not revenge when you dislike something the other person did and then forcing them to deal with the results.

Communication is taking a deep breath, asking questions, and trying to comprehend.

[qandariii]

What is love?

I feel bitter about that subject.

[qandariii]