I wash the keys
i rarely wright right
i rarely feel good
i rarely want to go on
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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YOU ARE THE REASON
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

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JVL

@theartofmadeline

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@qkzy
I wash the keys
i rarely wright right
i rarely feel good
i rarely want to go on
definniton of regret defitino of refte defition or fregt difeinfoet ofr ef ddreofinto regthj deifnto of freg difeinto roegnoeti irf deaofids foijsae oifgas;jd;og ji defintion oif rergretj defointo ofre fdasfldj asdofindf aodfj asdsfoijasdfl;kajsfd joasi;e defition of regeret defitn ooif reget write your book write yhour book write your songs now nos nown own wo wo wouse the pain now now now ohere you feel it here you are here hollow is here everyone that loved you is hewrew you are hjere they erare with yoiu tjhey are all a paart of you use it now now now you feel it use iot iuse it to yout advanite you are feeling comeply your heart is pope you are using your emnrehig reacfh out ag aoin to zain rieadch out again to sky go bvoieszti your first tow freinds tyou made in peryh go go gog ooi text ithem reach ouat you meust reach out you have nobeen sooo so isalteald now its the cahgne go go i ama with you yout inner strenight is yoihw you moc likek feeniks nie rpenrk say fremmeber evehyrthing andzr every isaid efremkemebr eieceyrhtingf anddzfry ever seaid remebevyio; feel be ilive tihedi the power is fiwhtou you the woieth wi sdklj
09/21 seprthem is aldsmfaos ifreing suck blood fok
a thought lost
approaching a car window rolled down
being recognised
enjoying the simple imagining
just dropped my wife off at work
mozzies a blue light
a very relaxed spirit
big tee shirts
a daughter sometimes
to talk of david mitchell
to speak of fargo
scratching and staying and swaying
and enjoying company
the little babcia knitting
hello i love knitting too
understanding the silent warming presence of string
oh oh which string did you have which colour
oh my strings turns into multiple colours
oh yes i made scarves for them all
but hand pain
oh yes
to wave to babcia with red hair
dzien dobre a lucky babcia lucky to see
the eyes of a mother
the look of how dare you
nervous fingers nervous thoughts that
allow allow allow
if you allow well then you allow
to allow for forgiveness
to allow for trust
a different portal
to sing que sera
to be the soul of the place
to enjoy the eyes of someone who has their spirits lifted
to be amused amazed by kindness
to trust in the unknown
the higher good to trust the energies
to wave from a far
to be acknowledged
to be humble
to understand everyone wants to be liked and involved
to be exhausted
to show that am exhausted
for the lady luck to arrive at 11:11
oh i am tired but oh we shall continue to sing
none the less
none the more
none sense sense all
see
to wipe the piano
to messily and hurridly apply the nail polish
to hurrildly to everythign
to rush rush rush through life
to slow down
to stop biting fingers
to re a quaint with a new friend
to be terrified of questions
oh please dont ask any questions
to have already put that out in the open
i am terrified of questions
if we may just look at the cats and play the piano
and speak in commentary style
to not disclose
to not be proud of anything
to have this messy life car cat death life death life
repitions
synchronicities
the indian author
to write this on the wall
to have another lady speak of simliar things
to type loud but no ton purse
tis all for now
han dpain 09:46 two coffees meshing melding
ambeince souls kombined already twice thrice
bridman whoooosh
some rain drops mixed with ambience sounds
skarpetka touching elbows
that shall lose circulation
birds saying goodbye to the sky
fears trembling inside trying to hide
sore thumbs sore nimbles sore multiple personalites
multiple beings multiple portals
alive in a different life before this and after this
a neice grand neice birthday
trying to detect
detect happiness detect envy
perhaps detect regret
a second of september
bowing down to customers
seeing her eyes with tear drops of giggles
facial expressions
that burn through soul
but she yells and screams at him i cannot tell you the full truth
defending mother hood forever
forever defending motherhood and no matter what
you ought to forgive your mother?!!?!
no no no no no no no o n no
dolphin noises
swan noises
pinguins
the giant pinguins
the waves
the snow
a lot
a whoosing in
not speaking my mind ever
not wanting to ever have a converfsation with anhyone except
the moon and me
no one else is worthy of my mind my world my ideas my dreams
and all the things i do create and do know and do sing about and do feel and do becoem and do transform into
not shiny matte
not shiny matte sitting beside a a candle
my fingers all melting wax and then we peel and eat them
with flat teeth and no jaw and no nose and no eyes
a hollow canvas
a walking robot but not smiling but smiling but
wanting to and then not
and then wanting to
hearing a million doors
waiting on the rock for two hours
bull shit people
everyone taking you for granted
cutting up and creating
opening more
hurting more
hurting more
technology everywhere
unable to write anymore with a pencil
a pen
but can fold things
i wonder can blow can lungs still work
how did it ever work before
other side of body
all will become numb
the special babcia necklace breaking
suffocation at work
inside body
feeling all the energy
upset energy constantly
such anger
being around such anger constanyl
why is it worth it
do i leave feeling lighter
everythign absorbed observed and then
a sponge i sink
oh great you feel lighter now
dandy oh
cheerio
a simple life of writing
making home made jam
sharing with kotek
moonlight walks little waltzes together
singing into the night
a mignon into each backyard
her birthday in september
a gentle spirit
am frightened am frightened
but her a gentle spirit
please hug me please stay
am frighted of me oh dear
what else is left
a lung that hurts
a struggle to breathe
the torture the anxiety
it is heavy to witness
shivering shivering
small capital letters
shivering shivering
unto this white background
unto you unto me unto us thee
the marks of our transgressions
the bleeding of the lambs
the blood of the lamb and the dark spirit enters
humans live on these stories
they must make them in order to survive
how else to make sense of this world
they must make them to appear oh so clever
oh here i am here i am oh so clever
oh i am clever i shall write more and admire how clever is am
gosh everyone else is so not clever
what am i doing around above beneath all these unclever people
how dare i be here
how dare she wear that how dare she use that
how dare she be here!
but i cannot tell her
no bury all deep under all the shit and kum
i sleep there
but i shall not tell anyone
rather the fires and storms shall melt it
and once the smell is in the air
ahhhh
maybe then
ahhh oh
receiving special pieces of paper
receiving a necklace
annoited
a healing babcia
gives to homeless
giving soul
giving soul meet giving soul
hearin ga yelp feeling scared
is a yelp in distance signalling me
little yelps
hurt the soul
harm the soul
awaken shatter and bristle zap through every part of hurt and repeat the hurt
special beep beep itlian
dolphing noises in the grocery store!!!
forgoting or not knowing her birthday
sittin gon floor
she feel embarassed seeing me overreacnt sit on floor
sit on floor feel pain
feel
pain
feel pain
feel
pain feels you
a slight hesitation
stains and it smells
perhaps the first time of a real argument
it smells like menthol it smells
a sad brick falls inside and outside
but my hands are in pain
and that was the friday
m still smiled at me
she smiles and when she walks away
farewells me by name
with strong eyes
dance and clean your house with music
put on some good music and
enjoy and every hour have a choccie
a warm smile that swells
and swells into me too
warm eyes
warm soul
much dedication
much patience
much help to the community
much giving
much hope
much of her m.
a bundle up of energy
intersection
fox killing deaths
two friends having coffeee
jittery hands
jittery handing of
light eyes lit up
enjoying the meshing merging of energies
writing on a piece of paper for her
cutting herats
making hearts
cutting coins
family on coins
women on coins
sufferage on coins
he works in an expensive hale school as a janitor the teachers and staff are unkind the higher ones, they are un kind.. he is kind, he brings gifts of fruit and magasine animal clippings, and recommends where the white swans are, where the animals are, wehre to travel , matilda game, kind hearts,
she is a soothing aura of pillows, a gentleness in a panic anxious first week of work, time stopped, she looks in my eye and puts an invisible blanket of calm for me, it wil be okay, this anxiety is not really here, a monday morning, a heartfull gift of a book, for the bad dreams to go away,. ,she is a blessing a blessing to see her and her smile, i wave to her, i wave as she walks by with her friend, i make a heart with my fingers
rosehips oil
a soft blanket
a gentle plant
a gentle being
sitting waitng
awaitng aniticatpin
always some excitemend int hte awawitness of anticipation
massages
knotw
thigns that are stuck
we are stuck
we have things stuck wihtih us
b yforce
by choice
nto by cjoice
we think bty cjhoice but persoa snot
finers melting
spiling over keys
but at least small letterse
the small lettesa re far away
and becoming extinc
its onw accord
lddion
an entire sympony
a glipse and instance
as;lkdfjas;ldfkjas;fdkjas;ldfkjsa
a meeting of plagritisn
in a big universitl
hwo crays was that day
a french eassay
oh my lordddddddd
in a ghuge agp sawera
t
hwo meabrsiangslgsdkfj;dsfkjdfla;skjdf;kalsdf
jsut not typing
jsut lietni fingers glide
to the ralskjdf;alksdfj;alskdjf;aslkdjfl;akdfjs;alkfj
we love talsdkjfa'lsdkjf'aslkdfj;asf
as
df
\\when eyes see the squiet soul times
eyes ndo not want to see the quiet tiem
pihblishjig something
has to be oragins
e
is not more inetersing to find thisng
but some people do hwoegver waish to ehould a book this its true
on flow
the enrgy
spining around
that one enegy song
a t end of a long day
spinig around
to the melody
oh look at her
look at her
being gazed at in amazement
dancing
danging the whole behind the counter
is the satage
feeling the dor about the open
feeling the door pabout the open
feeling hte door about to topen
feeling the door about to open
where is the typo triyng to enter the equation
when the reight shoudlre heruts abit
lalalall a
the indents
the indesntsa
greetins in brailles
lalalal
byings of of lull
lalalalalalal buyings of l of life
vaellys vallelys of love
knowign which door is which door
is everyone else tired of the circles
beacause everony else surewly notices the circles
what kndin fo moods to you want me to be in
what kind of moods yo ywant to be
why does this itrriate you
whiy does this make you happy
la la la la lal
not yet
busy busy aturday
afraid to write in polish
paranoaid of all
traces
t
races are left eeyrthewr
snippets of stories now
are scattered
no more opencil pcbea ahdn pain
chargin by moonligh
losing someone greif
anxiety
a choclte trueffle
melt in mouth
wait oh wait let me make you tiny tiny bird
we wait now
we ait now for all the tiny birds
here they are
can you see thm
they wait for us
we m can make them
we can fold them
we can fold us our selves
we can fold our thoughts fears ideas iolliusion storeis thoughts things we think are things but reall yarent things
lalal
keeping warm keeping cold
oinson
onions flwoers so many
fo them
and ewe rmemebr
many
share with many
perhaps
highlths
we make thier highltih
folding
and contineu to fold
good morning n e i l
two gfrom teh gaden
gifts from the garden
a lavender gift that was spread
and a december birthday ofro a garnd
shall we snailmail her tings to indai
will thsi be sceenes
will al be scen
are they lokign for us
are they looking for no
we are looking if they are looking
but no one is ever really turly looking
only out for thems leves
and inthe end
kamkiki nothing metatters
nothing matters
doing lines
the one time doing lines
ing rade seven
recess
remebering the earliest memroies
what memroy do you remeber
what did you eat
w
waht did you smell
want to share the smells with us
we smlel this togeth
toehr smelling
fersh paint near the loo
a great
a bleu eyes husky
one eye
anotehr hlello
slwolykindess
honesty
only annimals are trully anhonest
we cavn only trust the aniemals
making a friend wiht the enehobu puppy
s doodrawy into rael
this pupy will save us evenrually
toeday when we need that
healing together
little gifts
they remember you they remember feeling heard
in a cruel world
forced to interact with humans
forced to not zombie fy into their scripts.....
a tension between behind the counters
overwhelemd tears
constant chaos constant intteruptions
to flow in between and amidst and in the intteruptions
accept all interruptiopns
PLEASE INTTERRUPOT ME THIS IS FLOW
and practice and flow
draft saved
a burnign of a wire
a cake
a heart cake
a heart making greek lady scratching many things
obesrving ciao bella
two ciao bella
one with rings
one ciao bella a bit quier
one coin collector
one san franscico
one cash cash boom
one bloody eye i like messy nailpolish oyu are not boring
one why are you so happy
one heloo hobble hobble to the happies girl in woodlands
one beautiful lady i see you i se the shop i see the tiredness and work is put through
one thank you for printing everyyhing
one i shall walk and this is the year iswas born this is the year i was born and now i shall read all my silly magainze s but laughter
laughter i bring you laughter i shall share with you bow
sparllign diamons laughet er shared smelling smiling smelling smiling looking at numbers giggling at wins and losses and more gigle and the state of teh world an d the intenstiy and balance and more things and c'est la vie la noir la vie les diamonts noirs a bientot mervielu and itailin
and macedonina
and dzin dobre zoupka babcia waz
and a winning
and breathe fast word play she is traveling the world
and forced politenss
and tired of being kind and feeling forced enrgy thrust forth
and hello where is the teaxi where is the taxi
and crotchet lady that does not like to speak
and baking lady
and colorugul daughet with sparekles in her hair
and cool mom
and many spenders much spender peopl
and sailing cflubs
and golfing clubs
and you are a blessing ad we dtry our best all we can do is trt our best
and here can you lainate this prayer
with ominsiceint omsinc onc spelling mistakes
adn wearing scarges and picing safarin
and unicorns adn unciron head badns
and cheeryness
and im feeling tired i dont really like being kind to children
and leaves and pain
and massages that help
anmd cadnleign
amd staying just simply at a flower byesdie the candlee iglih twe stare
to mmayn scfereens
but this time i dont have to type or lok at the screen
jsut fingers do work
but to have sunday mornign piano maybe not use words theat are identicied we dont know ho w private or publis these entries are i forgot
but i do still remember how to type adn tehre is magic in that
i see a pland
the plant
the begging nest plant
let us now count the leaves
listki
one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven
we never coundted them before
was sometihngg just crawling on my face
we welcome crawls
and intteruptions
just d no walk into my eye.. mm
mpore epaceful mblss
and the babcai that sings how coudl we fogret
and the wipe your bum
come
and so many spirits
oh the skrit slit
t oh and lady gaga we lost count
so many different souls
in a foster home
dcannot slee
a proper ppillwo
mmm
tiss beautlfil to be
a bird
a fleet
all but all of this all of this is just a sumple fleeting moment tis tis tis tar tar tar
gunk wiping
sitting on floor oh t sit afer many horus
just me and the vacuum cleaner
is a bliss unto itself
jsut sitting
vacuumign coersn
those dark dark corers
those dark dark places thatno one e wants to g
ther ei stay
theere is tay
vacuumign
corners
echos
in an instant
nine yeras pass by
or they coudl hof
and stilll the lion guards us
echoes
of the solar eseence lulbaly
mm
doors close
doors open
beets contineu
refresh refeh
let anxiesty pass
we know you
you are friend anxity
yup oh i feel afraid thsi is normal jsut accept it as an dernrghy
breathe expand cashhhscade gemini teaey eyes
scattered pattered
heal inner child add person
a ocean of blue
a blanket of ocean
now i can type about you and me and everyone
everyone afraid
everyone staring at their faces
everyone afraid of death
everyone afraid of decayieveryone decaying all at once
the computer not regeistrating it all
a matter of waiting will this be savedd
shall i ever look at this again
a babcai in tears
happy birthday
oh it is your birthday
oh how lovely
ho the little surpirse turned big
a shock
she shall remember this day forever
the store shall never be the same
aplce of love and surprise almost turning 100
a straberry cake
happy brithday to all the beautiful gfeminis there are plentyfull
little cheer ups
people thinking millino winnigs help
small interactions that stick
using the word lovely
people being confused or amused by the world lovely
are you a bit cold
all the clones saskign teh same thing as if reading off a scripy
which script are wwe in now
some pegs floating
some pegs floating beside the tree
some o pegs float under the tree
i help out the pegs in all the lands
in all a= the ladns i shall gtravel through and thorugh fro and there
heal and droplets ripples and cascades
cash cash boom
cascaed whoooshhh
cold water
fuill time over time nights shfit are my fingers in the right space i am not even looking why look just feel just see the sunshine adn a mometn of silince to be alone with thoguhts but finally not in over flowr not on over board a sore hand a tiger balm helping
i am in the ambient zone which song twas that
i floated too
oliver lang at controls
ona may 21 and now may ending
a izim zima rano
typosa re allwoed
eve
rtyhgin is allows everyhting is celberrated
first ogn was
blue blue white corner
expaned
expansion
to expansion
let us all expand constanyly
curenyt kurrently konstankyl
al iwth a k
today is the 27
denmanrk
echo omen
oecho omean
echo omen wow
echo omen - new moon ancient eye
solar estie liullably
slow tone collage label
m m works copenhagen.....
slither sloth sway
you havent started writing your book
where shall she be
who shall she think of
hollow eyes ponder and look further
nerves numb nerves tingle
a peace within a peace without
or floating along like a cloud
for everyone
it might not be for everyone
who knows
how do we find out