𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐕𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐅𝐅 𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐒
A compilation of ridiculous things my and my friends’ muses have said to each other via wire rp. Change pronouns/etc. as necessary.
tw for light drug mentions, violence mentions, other non-PG shenanigans.
❝ I’m going to fight [name]’s boyfriend and none of you can stop me. ❞
❝ Uh, I think the fuck not.❞
❝ He’s a menace to society. ❞
❝ Respectfully … or not, idc, your kid’s being a little bitch. ❞
❝ Come sort your kids out, they’re being little shits again. ❞
❝ This is all your fault [name]. ❞
❝ He said I look like a chicken. ❞
❝ All of you are dumb as fuck. ❞
❝ Why are you getting banned from Applebees, bro? ❞
❝ We’re all consenting to this ass-kicking. ❞
❝ Are we about to Hunger Games fight for the family spot? ❞
❝ No one asked you low-grade John Cena. ❞
❝ Watch your mouth chicken shit! ❞
❝ Jokes on you I’ve been bullied my whole life this is nothing. ❞
❝ Maybe one day the crazy old dude will snap and try to drown y’all. ❞
❝ [name] is the brain but on cocaine. ❞
❝ Not your business. Only cool shit allowed. ❞
❝ We know what he allows over there, don’t we [name]. ❞
❝ Forgot how to use a condom once. Voila. ❞
❝ No one here understands shirts apparently. ❞
❝ I asked you to have my back and you chose chaos. ❞
❝ What kind of fucking shoes? ❞
❝ You can full government name me all you want. ❞
❝ There can be no peace. ❞
❝ Sorry [name] I don’t speak stupid. ❞
❝ He stole my dad, there is no mercy. ❞
❝ I had a cute little bum and great hair. ❞
❝ Takes one to know one. “Please senpai [name], notice me! Shut up. ❞
❝ [name]’s about to McFreakin Lose It I can sense it. ❞
❝ Am I the drama? I don’t think I’m the drama. ❞
❝ Goodbye now [name] I’m over you. ❞
❝ You can’t quit me. I’m like an unwanted baby.❞
❝ Childhood trauma said otherwise. ❞
❝ If y’all had just let me fight him in the damn Applebees parking lot. ❞
❝ Even though I didn’t do anything wrong, I’m sorry about what happened. ❞
❝ Please come snap my neck. ❞
❝ Ew you and [name] are going at it. That’s gross. ❞
❝ This family is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE. ❞
❝ You don’t get a tattoo for someone like that unless you’re whipped. ❞
❝ I’ll be sure to personally deliver these to your boyfriend. ❞
❝ It’s okay dude. It’s just a box of condoms. Don’t let it get to you. ❞
❝ Toughen us up? How? In the bedroom!? ❞
❝ Just take the trauma and get it over with jfc. ❞
❝ Wrap your willy before you get silly. ❞
❝ I’m choosing to ignore that bullshit altogether, thanks. ❞
❝ I just wanna know what they’re scheming about, so I’m scheming.❞
❝ I see simp, I say simp. ❞
❝ Can’t believe “Jiffy Lube” is the name of an actual company. It just sounds like someone found an alternative, horrible use for peanut butter. ❞
❝ “You’re so dramatic” yeah I just watched my brother’s dick get called a fucking aubergine. ❞
❝ I will bludgeon you with a crunchwrap. ❞
❝ Talking bad about myself is so fun dude. I hate that bitch. ❞
❝ [name] kicked me in the dick. ❞
❝ Did you touch [name]’s boyfriend’s nunchuck!? ❞
❝ What did she say? Does that mean “bitch”? I feel like it means bitch. ❞
❝ Does that mean Dracula was a secret fuckboy in the italian translation? ❞
❝ Headlight right to the dick. He deserves it. ❞
❝ You’re offering to let him kick you in the face? ❞
❝ I just said you shouldn’t fight a bear, you’re the one that made this personal. ❞
❝ I’m gonna hit [name] with my car. ❞
❝ WHY DID YOU INSTANTLY BLAME ME!?❞
❝ [name], tell me you don’t like [name] more than me and we’ll be good. ❞
❝ I don’t know what [name] wants, my dick kicked or a kiss. ❞
❝ A couple of virgins pointing fingers. ❞
❝ [name] and her boner can shut up. ❞
❝ Heard you had sex. Congrats you virgin. ❞
❝ Who are you swapping pants with? ❞
❝ No, not murder. I think. ❞
❝ First you think I’m mafia, now you think I have a ninja army? ❞
❝ Baby powder is a hell of a drug. ❞
❝ The other 20% is we all actually get along pretty well. Usually when we’re doing cool power rangers shit. ❞
❝ I’m gonna choke him out. ❞
❝ Would you be upset if I physically fight your father? ❞
❝ You told her to get DUREX? I’m going to kill you. ❞
❝ [name] be strong! Do it for Voltron! ❞
❝ You have violated the Geneva Convention I hope you’re happy. ❞
❝ C’mon [name]. Be there for your girl’s first weenie experience.❞
❝ I’m so horny and angry all the time. ❞
❝ I’m a short king so shut that down. ❞
❝ Any catastrophes today? Do I need to cause another? It’s too quiet. ❞
❝ If there are no problems I will make myself a problem. No one is here to stop me. ❞
❝ So the In-N-Out makes you jealous, but not the fact that I said I would tattoo [name]’s name on my ass in italian? ❞
❝ stfu you had a tiddy tat for your ex. ❞
❝ Now it’s a tiddy reaper thanks. ❞
❝ You guys wanna commit arson? ❞
❝ I’m not smart enough to leave. ❞
❝ The ancient philosophical question. How much simp should a good simp simp? ❞
❝ idk sounds like you just expressed intent to choke me. ❞
❝ I told a short joke and you made it about feet! ❞
❝ “Fragile princess feet” sounds like you know them intimately and I couldn’t blow past it!❞
❝ Never use the word “intimately” in my presence again! ❞
❝ I’m gonna go get banned from Denny’s you can either come with me and enjoy the chaos or pick me up afterward before the cops show up. ❞
❝ Because I am a wholesome innocent boy. ❞
❝ I guess I could shove some paper down his throat. ❞
❝ Fuck inflation, am I right? ❞
❝ I’m in your house bitch. ❞
❝ I’m tying your socks into a chain. ❞
❝ I’m the hot girlfriend? That’s so fucking cool man. ❞
❝ Stubborn gremlin, I’ll tell [name] to stop feeding you after midnight. ❞
❝ Squeezed my ass through this hole and idk how I’m gonna get back out. ❞
❝ So? I’m a bad person! ❞
❝ Right line wrong person, bromeo. ❞
❝ I feel like you’re trying to sneak in a lesson here somewhere but all I can think about is becoming an attack helicopter. ❞
❝ You put condom balloon animals all over my room! ❞
❝ Head empty, only angry, confused, and somewhat horny feelings. ❞
❝ Yeah look at you, with your fucked up internal organs. ❞
❝ I’m not insane I just ate an entire box of mini muffins by myself. ❞
❝ You had to get the most phallic looking one? ❞
❝ I did get kidnapped btw. ❞
❝ “uh, safe” doesn’t make me feel better bestie. ❞
❝ Jedi never get shit done anyway, they just sit and argue. ❞
❝ I made napalm by accident. ❞
❝ It’s the international emoji for ass. ❞
❝ That’s a cry for help if I ever saw one. ❞
❝ What’s a sugar daddy but like, the wholesome version? Fairy godmother? Can I have one of those? ❞
❝ That is an unholy combination of words. ❞
❝ I will literally fight you on your birthday idc. ❞
❝ The primary concern is what I refer to as “the Applebees effect”. ❞
