Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was âHow to keep him interested.â
It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.
Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to âkeep him interested.â
Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soulâin that unshakeable place that isnât rattled by rejection and loss and egoâthat you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)
If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.
Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesnât need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:
I donât care if he puts his elbows on the dinner tableâas long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then canât stop looking.
I donât care if he canât play a bit of golf with meâas long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.
I donât care if he doesnât follow his walletâas long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.
I donât care if he is strongâas long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.
I couldnât care less how he votesâas long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.
I donât care about the color of his skinâas long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.
I donât care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religionâas long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.
In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:
Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to âkeep him interestedâ is to be you.
Your eternally interested guy,
Happy International Womenâs Day
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