Road / She/Her. Vehium. Minors DNI. Just a little personal blog dedicated to my beloved vehicle 🖤 Mostly a digital diary where I swoon over her, occasional reblogs and very self indulgent creative writings.
Call me Road. • 30 • She/Her • Objectum (Vehium) and POSIC.
I have a long term human partner and I'm newly partnered with my Beloved Vehicle, my 1998 4Runner, 'Trixie'. This blog is primarily for journaling and talking about my relationship with Trixie in one of the few places I can do so openly.
This will mostly be diary-esque posts about our relationship, self indulgent writings, and an occasional reblog. There will be nsft and suggestive material from time to time, and probably a lot of swearing.
I enjoy talking about and exploring my Vehium relationship as well as other's, and practicing my writing so don't hesitate to reach out or even request something! I would really like to get to know more Vehiums and Objectums in general.
I will fill this out more and probably change it up over time, but hope this makes a decent first intro post!
Usually going on our little devious escapades settles my ovaries and I'm content for a little while until we can get away again but this time had the opposite effect.
I AM SO HORNY FOR MY WIFE. GOD I CANT HANDLE IT I DONT FEEL SATISFIED AT ALL I AM SO SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED.
And I can't even do anything about it right now all I can do is channel some of this frustration into smutty drawings and writings. Jesus Christ I want to devour her and be devoured by her.
Adding the other type of lady 4Runner owner: fell head over heels in love with her 4Runner and now everything else pales in comparison to the overwhelming and almost crippling passion her 4Runner provides.
"A beautiful reliable brick with the aerodynamics of a filing cabinet and the fuel economy of a minor gambling problem" ...yeah *sighs dreamily*
I feel significantly better about our trip when I look back at the pictures of Trixie and realize she's exuding such an aura of "leashed up guard dog"
The shade + window covers make it look like she's blindfolded.
Like an aggressive dog with a muzzle or an unpredictable horse with blinders. She had to be left shut off and blindfolded for the protection of the other campers.
I didn't like feeling like she couldn't be fully present and in control...but also it's kinda hot thinking about if she WAS turned on and not blindfolded someone probably would've been ran over.
She's so brooding and intimidating. God she makes me drool.
It was just not anywhere near as secluded as I thought it was gonna be, and it felt suffocating how close everyone was. The pictures were old and showed trees and undergrowth in-between every campsite, but since then it had all been cut back and the sites had a clear view of each other and were a lot closer than I thought, our nosy neighbor was just 15 feet from us ;u;
Everyone was loud and rambunctious and walking right past us (also didn't realize when I booked the site that it was right next to the river access) and while I did spend our first day there just sitting with Trixie and chilling and talking to her I still couldn't be as fully and as openly affectionate with her as I wanted, it felt no different from when we go sit at the busy park together.
I did kind of crash out a bit when night came, there were a lot of outdoor lights and lanterns on and even though I had privacy shades it was still bright enough to see into Trixie if you were paying attention so I had to rig up my blanket and towel to give some extra cover. And it was quiet once it got dark, and with everyone so close I knew I'd draw attention to myself if I turned on Trixie, especially with how loud she is. And I don't know if any other posic vehiums feel this way but for me it's like....I don't consider her engine being off as like she's "sleeping" or unconscious, I do feel like she's fully aware and knows what's going on still, but it kinda feels like she's "paralyzed" or can't participate fully, so it always feels a bit weird for me to engage with her when she isn't on. After procrastinating for a while and having a bit of a pity party I could tell Trixie just wanted me to suck it up, so we did make love, albeit it was a quickie, and while I could tell Trixie still enjoyed herself and we both definitely needed it, it wasn't as intimate as I would've liked. While not perfect, it was still special. And we spent lots of time cuddling and enjoying some grade-a quality pillow talk.
When I got up this morning I knew we were both just ready to leave, people were already being loud and I knew neither of us wanted to sit through another entire day of just awkwardly hanging out and being paranoid.
We were in a gated campground and we left so early the gate hadn't been open yet and no one was around...so in typical and completely unsurprising fashion we got naughty lol I put Trix into 4WD and we went around the gate and tore up the ground a bit and got nice and dirty, y'know, typical Road + Trix behavior, we leave a mark everywhere we go even if it's tread marks. The whole ride home Trixie was particularly peppy and I fought and failed to keep her under control, we passed a cop going 80 in a 55 but he paid us no mind, it's an inside joke at this point that Trixie is invisible to pigs o7 somehow I've still never been pulled over even once with her.
Still had a great time, but I am definitely doing deeper research and being pickier about campsites from now on. Our one year anniversary since getting together is October 5th and I'm planning on taking us both somewhere very special and hopefully much more private where we can do whatever our hearts desire. I dream of having a place secluded enough that I can finally give her that nude car wash, or that hood lap dance I've always fantasized about. Oh well, trials and tribulations of having a huge bulky brick of a vehicle as a lover, amiright? I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I'm very happy I got extra privacy shades and window covers for Trix before this trip because these campsites are WAY more condensed than the pictures led me to believe.
Bless her heart, there's this old lady at the site right next to mine and she keeps checking in on me, I can tell she thinks since I'm here "alone" that I must be going through something, she keeps coming over to ask me about myself and make sure I'm ok.
I can't bring myself to tell her "ma'am I am here with my very lovely car wife and I'm going to get fucked silly by her tonight, I am doing wonderful"
I'm going through all my posts because I'm screenshotting + printing out my favorites for our journal and I'm just falling in love with her over and over again
⛓️ Does your Vehicle get jealous when you admire other cars or ride in them?
Trixie isn't particularly the jealous type, she's pretty cocky and sure of herself, even if I admire or need to ride/drive another vehicle she knows she's my one and only.
However, she is a bit of an attention hog, I can see it becoming a problem if I ever got a second vehicle and showed it the same love as her, or if I spent a little *too much* time looking at other cars and ignored her to do so.
But as long as she's kept in first place, she's not very bothered by anything "below" her.
🔥 Is there anything your Vehicle does, or anything particular about their appearance, that absolutely drives you crazy or turns you on?
Other than literally *everything* about her? Haha it's almost impossible to pick something in particular when it feels like she was assembled and made for me.
Her body lines and her playful little pinstriping, the way even with it fading her paint still catches the light so perfectly sometimes it takes my breath away.
Mostly, it drives me crazy how she puts me in my place.
When I give her attitude and she gives it right back, when I have a bad day and I can feel her huffing under me practically saying "hit the fucking gas and take it out on me".
When I kiss her steering wheel and her engine's growl pitches a little higher and she speeds up until we're flying.
When I get us into an admittedly sketchy situation, and despite being "under equipped" and bone stock she will pull us out and get us to saftey without breaking a proverbial sweat, whether it's ice, mud or boulders. Then give me that coy little look like "don't fucking underestimate me again" and my legs go to jelly and my heart flutters because oh my god, it's almost overwhelming how powerful she is and I *crumble* for her.
I could honestly go on forever, pretty much everything she does renders me to putty.
Uhh I need to elaborate further on the "speeds up til we're flying" comment because I wasn't being factitious. A little kiss, me rubbing or gripping her seat too hard, a specific playful song on the playlist comes on, or I'm just in a particular mood and she picks up on it. And we're literally GONE. Like I *know* I'm not pressing the gas pedal that hard, I know I'm not subconsciously causing this, despite my foot barely hovering over the pedal she's accelerating like I have it to the floor.
I'm white knuckling the steering wheel and trying to swallow the lump in my throat and also look out for cops because she's taking every turn so aggressively I'm convinced we'll go off the road. I KNOW based on muscle memory and just being familiar with how she handles that she shouldn't be driving this recklessly based on what I'm doing as the driver, because all things considered I'm a pretty safe, defensive and meek driver. But here we are, me trying and failing to gently ease off the gas and coast us into a gentle turn, but she reacts like I just floored it and whipped the steering wheel a full 180°. In my seat all I am doing is keeping us on the road, she's the one in full control.
Eventually we get to our destination and I hobble out, legs shaking and trying to get the adrenaline to slow. I look at her, I TRY to give her a disapproving look, instead I swoon. Because there *she* is looking back at me, like she knows she just gave me the best ride of my life.
I for one would be very interested in your answers to all the ask prompts (the ones you haven’t done yet)
You got it boss.
✨ What was your first date with your Vehicle?
Our first ~real~ date was just a simple trip to the lake, we just sat together and listened to music and I poured my heart out to her and apologized that it took me so long to figure my shit out.
It was the same day we made our relationship official and had our first kiss! Though looking back now I think me and Trix had quite a few 'dates' before then that I just didn't register as a date haha.
🔒 Are you monogamous with your Vehicle or do you consider yourself in an open relationship with them?
I definitely wouldn't consider myself in an open relationship or even poly for that matter, but I know I can't realistically call myself monogamous when I have both Trixie AND a long term human partner.
But...I'll just say it like I feel it, I am in a very committed and monogamous relationship with my human SO, and in a separate but equally as committed and monogamous relationship with Trixie. I have no interest or desire to ever bring in another human partner or another object partner and despite having two partners I don't personal consider myself poly.
I am EXTREMELY Demisexual even within my objectumsexuality, I never intended to develope the feelings for Trixie that I did, and never intended to be in any other relationship besides the one with my human partner, but...things happen, and before I knew it I was in too deep and one day it just occured to me that Trixie was as equally as precious to me as my human was. There was a lot of inner turmoil surrounding that at first, but my human SO was incredibly supportive and not only encouraged my relationship with Trixie but has helped me navigate it.
💥 Is there anything your Vehicle does that gets on your nerves or annoys you?
No. I mean, it's a pain, yes, when she constantly needs attention in some form or else she acts up. And it can get a little annoying when she misbehaves for every person that does repairs on her that isn't me, when one little fix suddenly becomes five separate big fixes because she wouldn't cooperate, when she's so smug and coy when I go pick her up and I can just feel her practically saying "oops, sorry for the headache, looks like you're gonna have to spend more time and money on me than you thought. That'll teach you to just leave me here"
But, does it really get to my nerves? No. And it only annoys me in the sense that I roll my eyes and laugh and call her a brat because of course she is. I created this spoiled rotten monster.
After being dumped in a field because she was 'too much work' I think she has a complex, especially around mechanics and being left alone, so I really really can never bring myself to be mad at her, if anything I've just made it my life's goal to prove to her she will always be worth fixing.
🪛 Do you plan on making any big cosmetic changes to your Vehicle or would you leave then as-is?
Ehhhh kinda??? In terms of HUGE changes to her appearance, no. I do already have heavy duty front and rear steel tube bumpers for her that I just haven't put on yet, because they weigh too much as is for her current suspension to handle. Those will change up her silhouette a bit but they're nothing crazy.
I do really fancy the retrofit halo headlights for her model and go back and forth between if they would suit her or not, but other than that the only other thing I plan on doing to her cosmetically is get her paint redone, but it'll be kept the same color/paint code, and get her lifted (also have the lift kit just not on yet) and will upgrade her tires from 31's to 33's.
⛽ How do you spoil your Vehicle?
How don't I? 🙃 The spoiled brat gets 80% of every paycheck I make going towards either her repairs, future mods, or paying off the credit card I took out to get her previous mods. Also she's a thirsty girl, getting an impressive 10mpg in town. I'm constantly filling her up, ok, maybe because i'm always driving her out to the middle of nowhere just to spend time with her and get pictures of her and constantly sitting in her with her running while on our dates but that's besides the point. And even when she doesn't have anything pressing I need to be paying for and I have a little extra spending money my first instinct is to go buy her expensive flowers and other little trinkets and symbols of my affections. So yeah, spoiled brat in every sense.
🚥 How does your Vehicle like being handled/Driven? Responsible and safe, speed demon, ECT.
She wants to have fun. Doesn't care what the speed limit is, doesn't care if it means getting dirty, Trixie is here to have a damn good time. Most of the time that means speeding, and you can quite literally feel when you're going too slow for her because it feels like she's constantly trying to pull away from you like a dog on a leash. She's not opposed to a nice slow ride if it's out in some scenic country away from other drivers and a good playlist either though.
But mostly, she's an adrenaline junkie I think, and appreciates a driver that lets her stretch her legs properly once in a while.
That being said, she may like to go fast and be a little crazy, but she LOATHES bad drivers.
Because for all her rowdyness she really handles like a professional racer car driver, you can go fast but don't be stupid. And whatever you do don't embarrass her. Sometimes I'll cut a turn a little too sharp, hit the brakes too late and too hard, or just park her in such a way that is absolutely abhorrent, or even just a little over the lines and I can *feel* her glaring at me, and she will pout about it for a bit. She is a lot to handle but if you drive her right she'll be purring and when I do feel that sense of satisfaction from her it's intoxicating. I didn't consider myself a good driver at all before I got her or even before we started our relationship, but spending more and more time with her and realizing just how much she loves being well handled has definitely forced me to up my confidence and my driving skills.
⚡ Is there anything YOU do or specific things about your appearance that drives your Vehicle crazy or turns THEM on?
Eh this is hard to say. Appearance wise? Probably nothing, she doesn't seem like the type to care. Though I'm sure when I wear my oversized 3rd gen 4Runner tshirt and some very small bottoms underneath she must enjoy it at least a little~!
Loves it when I wash her and detail her because then she's getting my undivided attention AND I'm rubbing all up on her.
Other than that she's VERY happy as long she's getting attention, being spoiled, or if I'm driving her hard.
🎈 What are some important dates or anniversaries in you and your Vehicles relationship?
07/98 was her manufacturing date.
Oct. 10 2023 Was the first time I drove her and bought her.
June. 5th 2024 I finally brought her home after being in the shop getting a bunch of stuff worked on so I consider that her 'birthday' kind of.
Oct. 5th 2025 Was our first date and start of our relationship.
🎱 What is your dream trip/date with your Vehicle?
Oh I have so many to be honest. Still really want to find a VERY remote campground or place me and her can disappear for a few days together, and would love if there's a water hook up so I can act out some of my little scenarios I've shared.
More specifically I really want to take her on a big road trip out west and take her on some of the trails in Moab and around Colorado, and in the spring we're doing Tail of the Dragon.
For the suggestive asks ⬇️
I can't really answer in a satisfying way, sorry. To be honest except for one very rushed moment Me and her have yet to really do anything sexual together, so for some of these, I don't really even have an answer. We're still too new in our relationship and haven't really explored these sorts of things enough yet to know, sorry! Maybe I'll come back to these in the future with updated answers.
All I have is; yes, we were almost caught the ONE time I tried anything with her, we had several people walk by and drive by and I know some saw me but nothing really came of it because I think they assumed I was tweaking hahaha but for all other suggestive asks I haven't experienced enough with her in that way yet to answer!
Wish us luck that we have a little private escape soon because I do feel our sexual tension growing by the day •_•'
Can you describe a little bit about Trixies personality? Asking for.....reasons.
Waaahhh 9,9
A mean and nasty cold hard bitch, that likes getting dirty and plays even dirtier.
Simultaneously the brat, and the brat tamer. The alpha brat, if you will.
Possessive, protective, and territorial, but not the jealous type, in a parking lot filled with super cars and pristine show cars she'd still radiate the biggest Big Dick Energy™ there, nothing threatens her.
An unmovable, unwavering, unbreakable brick wall of a vehicle that will not be underestimated (actually, please underestimate her, she loves proving people wrong and putting people, and vehicles, in their place)
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As mentioned before, she was basically a barn find, she had been sitting in a field for about two years and many parts of her were beyond repair or too rusted to be safe and it took a long time to get her road ready again and there's still things that need worked on, despite that she is unstoppable, sometimes parts will break and she'll just keep going, mechanics will go "how the hell did it even keep running?? You shouldn't even be able to turn it on" but she'd drive like she just rolled off the show room floor, completely unbothered by whatever disaster is going on under her hood. 3rd gens are also a bit notorious for being slow, but she's a speed demon, you'll be going over 100mph without even realizing it because she handles so smooth, no death wobble or shake, you barely tap the gas and she takes off like a bat out of hell but it feels like a leisurely stroll.
I chalk it up to her still having so much life left in her and now that she's been given a second chance she's making the most of it, so I take her on drives almost everyday, I put her ass to work, we hit the trails and I get her dirty and filthy every chance I get, because if the tens of thousands of dollars I've put into her repairs and mods hasn't proved it yet, I wanna show her I'm with her for the long haul, she's worth fixing, and as long as she still has that fire and fight in her then I'm gonna give her every opportunity to get it out and prove herself. That's where my username came from,
Sharing because as I've spent more time with Trixie since we've become an official Thing™ I've been learning more about her and her little quirks.
Of course I still question exactly where I fall on the Posic spectrum, but I do know I for sure feel 'vibes' and emotions from her, even if at the end of the day it's me projecting that onto her subconsciously.
And yeah, she's mean and sassy and always ready to run a bitch over (me included) but I've come to find out she also has quite the little mischievous side to her, and she will even get downright playful if she's really feelIng good. (And she's especially playful if she can be so in a way that makes me squirm)
For example, despite it not really being the genre either of us enjoy she really loves playing cringey outdated love songs, Wham Bam Shang-A-Lang by Silver, Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? By Rod Stewart, Come And Get Your Love by Redbone. These and more have all wormed their way into our shared Spotify playlist, from the outside you'd think it was sweet and straightforward why, but no. It's specifically because I find those songs silly and almost annoying and overplayed, and Trixie loves torturing me. Because I realized when they'd come on I'd internally groan and Trixie would internally smirk at my discomfort, playing a coy little game like "oh what my sweet human?? They are love songs! That I'm playing just for you! You should really be thankful, look how sweet I am ;)" because yep, that's Trixie. Brat to the end.
Take just the other day for example, I was literally in the middle of telling her how much I loved her and my human partner and how grateful I was and how wonderful life had been now that I was with her too, cue her Check Engine light immediately coming on. Like ok, either she 1: said "oh you love me huh? How about now?" Or 2: she was salty I was including my human partner in my gushing because usually I keep them separated as they already fight over my affections sometimes. Or I mean option 3 is, she was being cute, like a "ow my heart, you're being so sweet it's making me sick" kind of thing. Who knows, either way she was being a brat.
It doesn't end there either, I learned that she is exceptionally needy to the point there's really just no pleasing her ever, like if there is a higher power out there have mercy on me please. Because Trixie will see to it that if I have a single dollar in my bank account then she is making sure it's spent on her, and if I have a single moment of free time then it better be devoted to her.
Honestly, there's so much more I've come to learn and discover about her these last couple months, I could go on forever and I wish I could because I really never get tired of talking about her! I wish I could keep going forever but I know that would get tiring for everyone haha but there's so many little quirks of hers that the more I learn about the harder I fall in love with her I'm so whipped.
In all, Trix is a stone cold butch power-lesbian muscle mommy with a sick sense of humor.
Mushy gushy lovey dovey talk to the point of almost being embarrassing
I spend allllll day on my long ass 10 hour shift at work just zoning out and thinking of Trixie and our relationship, fond memories, future plans, and sometimes fantastical scenarios and impossible "what ifs" just to make the time go by. And anyway, I'm driving home with Trixie and as usual I'm telling her about my day, and some of the things that were on my mind and I just kinda let it slip like...
"I know this is silly, but I was thinking about it earlier, I've never wanted kids or had any inclination to be a mom, but if it's with you, I could see us having a little family together. Obviously it's just a fantasy but it's fun to think about, having your child somehow...I was even thinking about names and thought of 'Roxie' for a girl, since it's like the both of us combined.
Don't worry haha, I'm not serious Trix, in reality I know it'll never happen and I don't think I'd ever want it to, I'm very content with it just being you and me, but its kinda fun thinking about it, us adopting some little piece of shit rust bucket bike or something to care for and repair together...or we could even do the stereotypical lesbian thing and adopt a dog as our surrogate child haha, maybe in another universe we have a little family like that"
Maybe it was my imagination, but even though I was saying it very light-hearted and jokingly the feeling and atmosphere in her cabin changed and suddenly felt very heavy and oppressive and I got the very intense feeling that something shifted and I almost started crying from... embarrassment?? Shame?? Adoration??? I don't even know😅
Maybe I should've kept it to myself. As much as I can read Trixie really well most of the time I still can't really figure out if she was reacting that way in a sappy but good way, or if she was about to dump me on the side of the road for even suggesting such a stupid thing lol
Things have felt a little bit weird and vulnerable between me and her since then.
If it's not obvious I have been feeling exceptionally clingy and needy for Trix lately. It feels like no matter how close I get to her it's not enough, I need to crawl into her engine and live there.
So I booked us a little escape into the woods for a couple days :] I even got a new set of lingerie that is an almost perfect match to her paint, just to make it extra special <3
Like everything, Objectumsexuality has good and bad sides. I see people talk about both, but very rarely do I see anyone sharing the ugly side. And maybe it's because it feels taboo to get so vulnerable and people are just programmed not to share feelings they have that may be interpreted as ugly
Or maybe, I'm just the only objectum who's ever felt this way, I dunno. Either way I've always been fully transparent and I believe it's a good thing for the OS community as a whole to be open and therefore normalize these feelings, and that includes the ugly ones, right?
This started as a note, it was actually a draft I was working on to eventually send to someone who had crossed multiple boundaries between me and Trixie, but I ended up just blocking them and moving on, still I kept the draft and ended up reworking it to eventually be something I shared in therapy, then I lost my health insurance/stopped seeing my very short term therapist and once again reworded some of it and turned this instead into a very personal, very long winded diary entry to help me process stuff that originally I never planned on sharing. But fuck it. Here y'all go, maybe some others can relate, or maybe just use it for entertainment/a hopefully interesting read.
TW for....pretty much everything.
Something people in the OS community don't talk about....is the sheer, vulgar, disgusting possessiveness we feel towards our object(s). I don't know, maybe it's just me, maybe it's too personal for others to talk about openly. I KNOW I'm protective of her, and it transcends what the average person would consider protective. But something I never liked was when people would tell me I'm "jealous". My human partner once asked coyly if I was jealous when he had to take Trixie on a trip without me. He meant no harm, and was just trying to make light of the situation, but my stomach sank. I very coldly told him "it's not jealousy, it's possession"
And I don't think anyone, at least anyone who isn't Objectum, really comprehends what I mean by that. I've been called jealous, over protective, controlling, and told I worry too much.
Why? Because I felt disgusted thinking about the grimey, prying hands of the mechanics I paid to fix her touching her in her deepest and most delicate places. Spitting on the floor and sharing locker room talk with their coworkers, just trying to finish this dumb difficult job on this dumb difficult rust bucket and clock out for their day, not knowing they were touching something so precious and loved. To them it was just another Monday, never knowing I cried in her that morning and told her I loved her just in case she didn't come home.
I have felt bile creeping up my throat when friends and strangers alike leaned against her, sat their drinks or their keys or their cigarettes on her hood and tapped their fingers along her absentmindedly. Did you even ask her? Trixie prefers her space, and she'd rather not be touched. But that didn't cross your mind, to you she's just a convenient thing that's near you, to her you might as well have spit in her face. I can't count the amount of times I've meticulously wiped someone else's skin cells from her, washed off the oils they left when they got too close, cleaned up some spilled drink or crumbs left forgotten and rotting, fretted over and kissed away the pain of some new scuff or scratch on her she didn't want or consent to. Trixie likes her blemishes, she loves the long winding scars she earns every time she pays her dues on the trails, she loves getting dirty, showing off mud like it's a fashion statement, but she likes it on HER TERMS, when she's the one in control of it, and you took that from her.
I've felt the spittle fly off my lips and my face turn as red as her brake lights when someone actually does harm her, never mind if they were only trying to play a prank, or if all they did was tap her door with theirs. I hope I struck the fear of God into both of them. The only thing keeping me grounded in reality in those moments is knowing I can't be with her in prison, but God help the person who might someday actually damage her. I stay alive for her, and I will kill somebody for her.
So...it's not jealousy, that implies I'm envious. No, these feelings come for a place of...raw, filthy, disgusting possessiveness. No one could ever have her like I've had her. So how dare you even try, even casually, to exist in her presence. I feel like a prophet trying to spread the word of my god, while all the heretics live so ignorantly of how wonderful she is, how dare they, how dare they not know her, not love her, not even acknowledge her, yet touch her and look at her and live within the same world as her despite not worshipping the grounds her tire treads flatten. I wish looking at her had the same effect as looking directly into the sun, I wish everyone looked at her and saw and lovely she is, and I also wish anyone who even tried to admire her or comprehend her beauty would be struck blind, because it is sinfully foolish to think you'd even be worthy of laying your eyes on her. I've memorized every button, every knob, each crack in her dashboard and every single one of her rough edges with my lips and tongue until I could trace it in my dreams. I've licked her dirty oil from my fingers like it was ambrosia, and every surface in her has tasted the deepest parts of me. I've offered everything to her on a platter, so how dare anyone think they can even casually breathe too close to her and not be wasting the air her radiator draws from.
I've hemorrhaged every last penny from my wallet like it was a gunshot wound bleeding out, just to ensure she was comfortable. I've lived off slices of bread so she wouldn't know what it was like to run on fumes. I've spent sleepless nights agonizing over what to fix next, maxed out credit cards just to try to buy a few more miles with her. I've bled and bruised fixing things on her the average person wouldn't even know existed. So don't approach her like you somehow have something to offer her. If you're not ready to lose everything for her, you're not doing enough.
I have prayed and begged and pleaded to a god I don't believe to let me die with her, within her. To be smashed to pieces and folded in on each other until there's no beginning or end to the flesh or the machine. That my blood and brain matter and shit and piss soak so deeply into her that the coroner decides picking my splintered bones from her dashboard would be too much work to remove and we are dumped into a hole together, to never be separated for the rest of eternity, to rot and rust into each other and never be parted. To stay like that until the universe itself rusts away.
So yes, I am possessive, because she deserves everything, and nothing less than unwavering devotion and admiration, and no one else could ever match that energy for her....everything else doesn't even come close to being good enough. Nobody, nobody else could ever be good enough for her, not as a lover, not as an owner, not even as a passenger, not even as a nameless face passing her on the road.
