Jayden 🖤

Depressed ™️| ♈️🌞♈️🌙♐️⬆️

[swampthot]

[toastysalt1]

had a dream last night that I brought a guy home from college to meet my parents and in the middle of us all having dinner he got up on the table and said “I have an announcement to make” and he rips his shirt off to reveal a giant tattoo of krumping Marge Simpson with text that said “Will you marry me BOTTOM TEXT” and I woke up clammy

[toastysalt1]

artistic rendition

[narwhalertheimpaler]

This is the most accurate description I’ve ever found, thought it was worth spreading ❀

[hedoesphotography]

[sparrow-va]

at this time of year? at this time of day? in this part of the country? localized entirely within your kitchen??

[theshitneyspears]

14 year old me taking a sip of vodka for the first time

[moonemojii]

he brought me wendy

[ruthyless-deactivated20140511]

when i was younger i had a really bad fear of danny devito when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse danny devito and he would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alon

[tardis-mind-palace]

Your brother is the best

[elrondbaggins]

Who the fuck changed this from vampires to Danny devito

[aliceinpunderland-blog]

the real question is why I was completely ready to accept that this person had a debilitating childhood fear of Danny Devito

[nohelan-img]

Me @ myself anytime I open my mouth:

[bryko-deactivated20170127]

These are all from the same episode

[everythingstarstuff]

[section8babe]

omg this made me cry

[leggurs]

xxx follow for similar

[toastbutteregg]

i find this extremely funny

when in truth these skaters would be laughing at me cause im sitting here wasting away while eating cookies and milk

[wenchette-deactivated20161106]

[perfecthorse]

[zorri]

*in a horse accent* help

[azaleatown]

This is the horse equivalent of being lost in the sauce

[looking4myson]

astray in the hay!!!!!!!!

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

[orriculum]

can i get uh……..McDeath™

[fayzaundevon]

is that that one play by Shakespeare

[orriculum]

yeah

[unskinny]

Bodies aren’t meant to stay the same. We are supposed to grow and change. We shouldn’t be making people in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, etc feel like they need to strive for the bodies they had in their teens and 20’s. Or making people feel like they “need to get their bodies back” after they have had children. These mindsets aren’t healthy and change is inevitable.

[scy-ence]