It was brief - a look I caught as he walked past me in the hallway. His eyes crinkled at the corner as he shot me a smile to cover up the glance he didn't want me to see.
I noticed it again a few days later as I leaned over my desk to point out an error in the spreadsheet he had splayed out in front of him. His eyes flickered to my chest before they rose to met mine and his cheeks flushed a deep pink. I could feel warmth in my face as I blushed too, pulling my shoulders back to subtly adjust my top.
I'd mumbled a sorry and sat back but there was a heat under my collar and I let my mind wander. His glasses sat on the end of his nose, a pen tucked between his fore and middle finger, and I took stock of his hands. His strong arms and tan skin, more exposed as he rolled his sleeves up. There was a tuft of hair peeking out from the undone button at the top of his shirt.
I felt overstimulated, suddenly incredibly aware of him and all of his small details. The rasp in his voice, the way he raised his eyebrow and fought a smile at every one of my comments that toed the line of professionalism, the heavy sigh he'd let out in an attempt to mask his amusement.
He was sexy. The thought crept into my mind slowly, a fraction of an inch towards the forefront with every other interaction, until something happened that pushed it front and center. Like an alarm going off, it was impossible to ignore from that point forward.
He was in a suit - we all were - despite the heat and humidity. A charcoal gray set with a dark blue tie tight around his neck. I could see a bead of sweat rolling down the side of his face as I approached him. We shot the breeze for a moment and I'd started to offer him a water from the vending machine when a voice rang out.
He spotted the man before me, red-faced and yelling as he neared us. Adrenaline rushed through me at the idea of confrontation but he beat me to it, stepping between myself and the irate stranger before I had a chance to react. Something shifted in that moment.
He's protective of me. He protected me. Arousal sent a brief wave of numbness through my body and I stood back on my heels to watch. His voice faded off and I took the moment to admire him.
Have his shoulders always been that broad? The taper of his waist. It has to be the fit of the suit, right?
I was arguing with myself until he turned back to me.
I nodded, mentally brushing away any dirty thoughts that had popped up while he had his back to me, and he cleared his throat.
"Sorry, you were saying?"
"You were saying something. Before that dick started-"
"Water." I was thankful that my train of thought seemed to hop back onto the track in that moment and I looked up at him. "Do you want a water?"
"You sure? It's hot out here and at your age..."
The smile he cracked sent a surge of arousal through me again and I clenched my fist at my side. It was a bit between us. I'd managed to widen the small age gap we had, adding a few more years each time it came up, and he loved it. He'd never admit it but I could see the grin he'd fight and how his brain would work to counter any insult I threw his way.
"I'm good but thank you."
I shrugged and turned on my heel, heading back to the air conditioning of my office. There was a small fan on my desk, set on high, and I turned it to face me directly as soon as I sat down.
There was something under the attraction, a thick layer of dread sitting in my stomach like a layer of sludge.
He's off limits. I had to remind myself as I settled my fingers on my keyboard. Not an option.
I spent the better part of the next hour fighting off filthy daydreams before calling it a day. The afternoon, busy with errands and battling traffic, proved to be a great distraction, and I drifted off into a fitful sleep under the ray of light from the streetlamp outside of my window. I woke up telling myself I was fine, that yesterday was a fluke and I'd hit a new point of desperation after a dry spell.
I'd managed to chalk it up to loneliness by the time I'd fought through morning rush hour and settled into the elevator. The doors were closing slowly when a hand shot through to catch them.
They reopened to him standing there and my stomach sank. His cheeks were peppered with freckles and a pink stain from being outside for so long the day before. He had one strap of a backpack slung over his shoulder and he nodded at me.
"Do you mind if I join you?" I shook my head and stepped aside as he got onto the elevator car. "I know you were hitting the door close button."
He glanced at me through the mirrored doors and raised an eyebrow, waiting for my witty retort, but it never came. I was distracted, off of my game, and I panicked for a response before he sensed it.
"Seemed inhumane making an old man like you take the stairs."
The laugh, the rasp in it and the way he shook his head, shot right through me. He's attractive to me now. I was barreling down the slippery slope that any hopeless romantic knows well and there was nothing to stop me.
It felt like this new crush had doubled in size on the quick ride up to our office bank and it sat on my chest like a weight.
"You sure? You seem a little checked out." He grabbed my coffee cup and swished it, tilting his head suggestively. "You sure it's just coffee in here?"
The implication made me laugh and I nodded. "Just coffee. You know I only drink at work on odd days."
"Well you may need another. Let me know if you want some company to the cafeteria for another cup."
He chuckled and held out an arm, nodding for me to go ahead while he held the door. A gentleman, I said to myself. Another thing on the list I'd started in my head the day prior.
Protective, funny, a gentleman...
I told myself to knock it off, to keep him in the same old place in my head. My boss, direct report, a gigantic pain in my side on a daily basis. Something had changed and I was in uncharted territory with him now.
titsay
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