Queen of Derse

Your name is Snowman, though you have been called other things among which are the Black Queen, Banished Quasiroyal, and -by some, a Huge Bitch.

[bladesslick-deactivated20190108]

I don’t need, or wanna talk to ya about this right now. God. Damn. 

[queenofderse-blog]

“Fine.”

She gave him a box wrapped in clean white wrapping paper with a dark bow. Inside were a pair of what would have been extremely presentable black heels if it weren’t for the small grey scottie dog on one shoe with the red collar and leash trailing from one shoe to the next. A red polka dot bow on the collar of the scottie and a larger bow on the other shoe at the end of the leash. Red stitching was around the rim of the shoe. 

“We are going to discuss this at some point. But for now, have a good rest of your holiday, Bilious Slick.”

[bladesslick-deactivated20190108]

Look, bitch. I know damn well enough ya ain’t bitchin’ cause ya feel sympathy fer me. Yer bitchin’ ‘cause ya can’t tear me apart like a used rag doll. Yer gonna stand there tappin’ yer foot with yer arms crossed scoldin’ me like I did somethin’ so goddamn detrimental to my fuckin’ life, which I already know is fucked, when ya don’t even get why I did it. I asked ya, ya said ask Scratch and I did. Here I am, I’ll get ta’ know when th’ Universe dies  when I do and that’s all that fuckin’ matters ta’ me. It was either that or let it fuckin’ die within’ a month and that’s too short for me, and ya know how SHORT I am. HAHA. God damn get some holiday spirit and shove it up yer ass!

[queenofderse-blog]

...Was the universe actually going to die within a month if you didn’t do this? 

[queenofderse-blog]

The rest of you should all have a good holiday. Really, I mean it this time. Everyone else should have a great wonderful holiday season. 

[bladesslick-deactivated20190108]

RUDE RUDE RUDE.

[queenofderse-blog]

Yeah I am pissy about what you did to yourself. What the fuck were you thinking? This is the absolute most asinine thing you have ever done. I know I’ve said that in the past but I mean it this time. There was NO reason for this. 

I didn’t have a choice when it happened to me, you on the other hand -Scratch didn’t even come to you to ask! You went to him! You’re so stupid! 

I can’t believe I even wasted my time picking out a present for you!

[queenofderse-blog]

If Santa was real, which he isn’t, Slick wouldn’t have gotten any presents or coal. That’s how awful he’s been. Santa would have ignored him. 

[queenofderse-blog]

@bladesslick

I’m returning your gift you petulant garbage sack . You would have loved it too. Damn shame.  

[queenofderse-blog]

I hope everyone had a good holiday. 

[bloodybilliards]

Beauty & the Bilious Beast

[bloodybilliards]

Instead of opening the door like any carapace would, he uses the crowbar at hand to put a good dent into it, tear down what he could and float easily inside. He could have made it look cool but there was no wasting time now, she’s set him off again. “SO LONG?? DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW FUCKING LONG IT TAKES TO TRAVEL BETWEEN THIS SHITTY UNIVERSE AND THE NEXT?! I DON’T OWN A FUCKING EASIER WAY TO GET BETWEEN THE TWO.” For a moment he’s just floating, one hand reaching up and squeezing the spot between his eyes, stilled. He’s stressed, he needs a quick break before getting into the ‘ass kicking’ previously inquired. He wont say he needs one though, he’ll just stall for time. 

“ANYTHING YA GOT TO SAY BEFORE I BURN YOU FROM TH’ INSIDE OUT STARTING WITH THE CRACKS IN YER CARAPACE? HMMM???” As his voice echoed through the empty mansion during his less than climatic entrance, blood trailed both behind him and continued from where he was suspended. It didn’t stop, every movement brought more and more. If anyone wanted a legitimate blood bath he was the one to call. 

[queenofderse-blog]

“I thought you’d be more eager for some death and destruction is all and in that line, get here faster. Don’t let that trouble you, you’ve already got plenty rattling around in that head of yours.” 

There were stains all over the carpet, green and the marooning stain of blood was not a very attractive look. The puddle of it beneath him still had the fresh bright color that some of the slightly older stains lacked. There’s only so much blood in a body, she wondered for a moment how far he was until absolute bloodloss. 

“I’m not one for last words. So, I suggest you light this candle before you waste more of both of our time .” 

[queenofderse-blog]

((super sorry for randomly dropping some roleplays my computer got really messed up)) 

[bloodybilliards]

Beauty & the Bilious Beast

@queenofderse

Doors? Who needs them. Jack wanted to make an entrance she wouldn’t forget, especially when the bills for repair came in. Oh boy, he’ll bleed her dry both in blood and money. He’d made it into the universe, it’s pathetic lack of noticeable carapace out in the open left him with a sour taste. He wanted fear as soon as he made an entrance, he wanted an audience to watch him tear lady universe to shreds and let them scream as he dusts her carapace across this–mansion. Living large, like usual.

This time he wouldn’t be put away in jail, with lousy work that covered him to the point of near claustrophobia. No Dignitaries..no brutes, nothing but sand, city, and a green eye sore. What kind of twisted world did she live in–or was this normal for alternates? Could he have been given a better path to live? This wasn’t fair, take it away.

He travels full force into the side of the mansion. No care for his own self, only thought passing him is his need to get to her. She challenged him enough, he wanted to get his point across. He wasn’t a Slick, wasn’t a Jack. He was a Lord. Treating him like such would have saved her from his visit. Perhaps even after he’ll lounge around in this timeline for a while. Use up it’s resources and go on to the next. No need to laze around a dead horse anyway. His entrance left him on the floor, but quickly to the air he searches around the lime green doors. “ELEVEN, TEN, NINE-.” Jack’s voice was MUCH louder than could be demonstrated through text. He’s counting down the door numbers, floating so he wouldn’t have to deal with the pressure on his leg. “YA BETTER BE READY, I’M NOT WAITING FOR YA.” 

[queenofderse-blog]

She heard the crash of drywall and shatter of glass echoing through the mansion before that voice starting shrieking down the halls. The damage to the mansion was no carapace off her bones, sure it would be an eyesore for as long as Scratch wanted it to be then he’d fix it up to be as good as new. Or as good as it ever was. 

Snowman turned around in the chair she was sitting in at her desk. She was tempted to ask who it was. He didn’t seem in the mood for jokes. 

“What took you so long?” 

[bloodybilliards]

I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU. YOU SUCK. DON’T FORGET I’M STILL GOING TO KICK YER ASS. IT’S JUST TAKING ME A WHILE TO GET THERE. BUT WHEN I DO I’LL KICK EVERYONE ELSE’S ASS AROUND YA TOO. EVERYONE’S ASS = KICKED.

Yours first though. Only for you, QueenofDirt. 

[queenofderse-blog]

I’m flattered but I think it would be rather awkward for Slick if I decided to humor you’re hatred for me. 

Take your time hun, I’ve waited this long. 

[bloodybilliards]

OH WOW. I’M HURT. BEING CALLED PATHETIC HAS HURT ME IN WAYS NOTHING EVER FUCKING COULD.

How will I recover. 

[queenofderse-blog]

Sarcasm needs to be subtle in order to be effective. 

Also, you would know if I was really trying to hurt you, emotionally or otherwise. Not that I think anything can get through that thick skull of yours. 

[rosallorart]

@queenofderse

Good afternoon, your majesty. It’s such a surprise to see your presence gracing my computer screen.

[queenofderse-blog]

A good afternoon to you too. Well as much as it is a surprise for you, it is doubly so for me to find someone so kind and respectful in their words toward me. It’s quite a breath of fresh air. 

[bloodybilliards]

A MILLION. That’s a believable number right?? Right. 

[queenofderse-blog]

Oh I just love the smell of overcompensation in the morning. You’re hilariously pathetic. 

[bladesslick-deactivated20190108]

Yeah I have. The mirror looked back an’ said I’m drop dead gorgeous now shut it. 

There’s a handful of shit that makes us look different so ya can’t go comparing looks between th’ two damn it.

[queenofderse-blog]

That mirror must be broken. 

You were the one who said he was fucked up to look at. I was just pointing out that the two of you look incredibly similar, minus what I already said were identifiable differences. 

[bladesslick-deactivated20190108]

Noted. 

An’ yeah I’ll get Clubs to give th’ fucker a light show if he shows up. Dunno if I want that thing in my universe though, heh. He’s kinda fucked up ta’ look at. 

[queenofderse-blog]

Have you looked in a mirror lately. 

Minus the alternating eyeballs and the gold pegleg he’s basically what you used to look like before all those robotic enhancements were put on you. 

[bloodybilliards]

ooOOOOHHHHHH. OH HOLY HELL ALRIGHT. I’M FLOATIN’ MY ASS OVER THERE TO KICK YOURS. WATCH OUT.

[queenofderse-blog]

Uh huh. You’re full of it. How many body parts have you gouged out so far that weren’t yours?