› 𝙰ʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ + 𝙼ᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ ﹔
ღ
Misplaced Lens Cap

pixel skylines
dirt enthusiast
Not today Justin
Game of Thrones Daily
hello vonnie
d e v o n
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
styofa doing anything
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
occasionally subtle

shark vs the universe
Peter Solarz

★

Discoholic 🪩

roma★
🪼
KIROKAZE
trying on a metaphor

seen from United States

seen from Ireland

seen from Netherlands

seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Romania
seen from India
seen from Italy
seen from Belarus
seen from France
seen from Italy
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Colombia
@queenoftheh1ghway
› 𝙰ʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ + 𝙼ᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ ﹔
ღ
Patrick Tam - My Heart Is That Eternal Rose (1989)
the expression of eternal suffering and yearning lol
Woah feels like I missed a couple chapters with the incest ships going on...
Anyway, I like your idea that Remmick fled Ireland after his wife was killed. Do you think he was on the run since he stepped foot in Boston Harbor? The Spotify Easter eggs date is 1911 & with Sinners taking place in 1932 what do you think he was doing for those 21 years? When did the Choctaw get on his ass? Was there a native like Sammie on the reservation that he tried to get to & that's why he was hunted? I can't imagine the natives caring if white people off the reservation were getting killed by a vampire so that's why I have a headcanon that he hunted/wandered onto their land. Would love to hear your thoughts! Thank you 🖤
yeahhh that was interesting.. > TLDR: English banned Irish instruments in Ireland, since there was such a small pool of musicians in Ireland he went to the US to find some. It had likely been a very long time since Remmick saw his wife which added to his desperation, cruelty & greed to succeed in luring Sammie.
OK, I have a theory I haven't heard anyone else talk about yet. This is the first time I've written it out, expect there to be some holes in it! So, part of the oppression of Ireland by England was the enforcing of the Penal Laws. To sum them up very briefly, they banned the Irish language, Irish Catholics from receiving education, voting, inheriting land, carrying weapons, etc, but also Irish traditional instruments! There were still instruments being played & Irish musicians, but they no longer sang in their own language, or with their traditional instruments (though at home music sessions made it so that the tradition was not completely forgotten), since Irish instruments were burned & musicians executed. So, my theory is when Irish instruments were banned a lot of the traditional music knowledge/culture also withered away, leaving very few people in Ireland with the ability to connect to their "talent" Remmick seeks throughout the film. A country like the US did not have these musical limitations, so he fled there. Though the Penal Laws were mainly in effect from 1600-end of the 1700's AD roughly, their effect was still felt on Ireland decades later; (the Great Famine was caused by English control), since the English still controlled Ireland. Throughout these years I'd imagine Remmick coming to a grim conclusion that Irish musicians were in decline and would never be numerous enough again to sustain his method of seeing his wife, and so in 1911 he gave up and left. Also I can completely see him overstepping; trying to do to a Choctaw musician what he wanted to do to Sammie; use their talent for his own benefit. I don't think them chasing him was exactly passionate revenge; they were definitely intending to kill him but once he was far enough from them & was some else's problems they were like "yeah good luck with that one" and left;; so I don't think he killed any of them, but he definitely got very close to.
hey so um. let's NOT write incest of sammie and the twins...
no offense at all, i don’t ship ‘incest ships’, but you can’t be on tumblr(aka the literal land of dark-shipping) and get annoyed when you see things you don’t like😭
it just proves you have no fandom etiquette and this is your first time on the app lol 
i'm well aware i broke the unspoken rule of just ignoring something you find distasteful; I didn't insult a pro-incest page while thinking "ok let me be respectful & considerate about this". If you post triggering topics you're gonna get triggered responses. I didn't hate because I thought it'd make me morally superior, it genuinely disturbed me. Writing sexual fantasies about twins & their cousin is gonna get you hated on; end of. It's a coping mechanism or sexual fantasy for you, but for someone else it ruins their day, their mood, or much worse. I've blocked the page so I won't see any more of that stuff & I'm not gonna be a repetitive insulter but I'm not gonna apologise either. Do stupid shit ur getting treated like you're stupid, and normalising incest which creating incestual scenarios undoubtedly does is damn stupid.
Dude why are you sending random hate mail to one of the most popular (and well-liked) Sinners fan artists on here? It only serves to make *you* look bad.
incest. and if they're so well liked they should turn their comments on
sinners fandom do you like incest ships??
fuck no
yes
OHMYGODSINNERS!!! I'm so happy you've seen it! Ok do you think Remmick was actually married? I could see him stealing that ring from someone he killed & using the sob story to get into people's homes.
YAY MY FIRST QUESTION HII
Honestly, I'm kind of on the fence. On one hand; seeing as Remmick is about 1,200-1,300 years old and the film is set in the 1930's, he pre-dates Christianity in Ireland, which arrived a couple hundred years after he became immortal. Wedding rings have been around for aaaages before Christianity adopted the tradition; and after some googling (because sadly I don't know everything) it was a tradition of Celtic Irish Pagans to wear rings; except they weren't made of metal, they were woven. The information on how old this tradition is,, I'm not sure, google decided to be ambiguous and wouldn't give me a clear answer.. Then again, I can see him falling in love with a mortal a couple hundred years into being immortal, wearing the wedding ring, and then losing his loved one. Whether his wife was immortal but then hunted & killed (which would probably serve good motivation for him to leave Ireland and go abroad, to avoid similar persecution), or was mortal and had her time simply run out, I'm not sure but I prefer the first option.
| Full Metal Jacket Characters and How They Would Flirt |
Idea credit goes to @rumbledacheese
(THIS IS MY FIRST HEADCANONS POST PLEASE GO EASY ON ME <3 LACK OF CONTENT HAS MADE ME CRAZY SO I’M TAKING THIS UPON MYSELF)
(I take requests btw *rubs hands together*)
Joker
-Joker’s a REAL sweet talker and never misses a chance to lay on the butter when trying to impress someone he likes. He charms you like a thief in the night and you won’t realize he’s got you until you catch yourself smiling at something he said hours later. You’ll know he’s interested in you just by how he himself smiles AT you, the eyes don’t lie, and he’d become almost irritatingly clingy in a way. You don’t just smile, it’s a full grin and cackle. He’s killer with the jokes and impressions, and he executes it in an absurdly stupid, yet dirty way and your stomach might just hurt afterwards from all of the laughing you’d do with him. If he’s got his eye on someone? God forbid, he’ll flirt by joking WITH them, and make jabs right where he knows are harmless but will make you red in the face. He likes when you react, he’ll get a good chuckle out of you getting defensive and petty. He’s just infuriating enough that he remains in the back of your mind, infesting your thoughts. He’ll pick you apart where he can, learn what you like, your styles, your hobbies and habits, and he’ll make sure he incorporates it all. He’s a conniving, catty flirt, especially lethal.
Animal Mother
-Animal mother is a bit of a meat head when it comes to romance, not to drag him. He can’t flirt to save his life and instead stares and admires often a bit excessively. He’s blunt, and a horn dog, tread carefully. More of an “I like you, let’s fuck” guy than a poetic, intimate flirt. You’ll know he’s interested when he’s literally eyeballing someone and following their every move, and making a point to bug them and linger over their shoulder every chance he gets. He’ll ask stupid questions just to get the person to talk at him, maybe frustrate them a little on purpose and walk finely between their tolerance and their peak limits, like Joker but in a much less aggravating way. When caught? He’ll just crack that little half-smile, with nothing behind those glazed over, tunnel-like eyes. He won’t play dumb about it necessarily, but he’ll challenge your wit and patience. If he wants your attention, he’ll get it. He’s not entirely stupid about it either, he knows he’s bad at flirting but attempts to compensate for it by acting like he’s king shit in front of both you and the other men. He’s territorial too, if he likes someone, they’re his no questions asked. Don’t get between a dog and his bone. He sets his sights on one person and sticks with it, and won’t leave them alone until he’s satisfied. He likes matched energy, he likes feeling like he has something to chase after, something to stake his claim on, naturally, fighting has made him accustomed to it. Flirting is winning, conquering.
Cowboy
-Cowboy’s a goofball and a half, a bashful flirt, the old-fashioned type who would make effort to dress nicely and show up with gifts and flowers, buttering you up with incentive. It’s very easy to tell if he likes someone if he suddenly begins asking what things they like, or by extension asking others for advice, or just in general following the person around like a lost puppy. The whole base knows when Cowboy falls in love, because he won’t shut up about it. If he wants someone to like him? He’ll go the full mile, take the girl on a nice dinner date or promenade, follow his mom’s own advice about girls from middle school, anything. He talks himself up a lot around others and in front of you to an extent, but it’s the stumbling and stuttering he does that makes him cute once he realizes the person reciprocates. He’s all gooey and girlish inside when he’s in love, and it’s likely you’ll be doing most of the real talking. He charms in such a way that you can only pity him for his failed attempts at being smooth, the poor, whipped bastard. He’s the same as he is as a leader, in a relationship. Women tend to walk all over him, and he lets them.
Crazy Earl
-Crazy Earl actually lives up to his name. For as unhinged of a man he is, he flirts the same exact way he fights the war. You want a necklace of teeth made from some poor dead enemy soldier? You want the heart of the last man who wronged you? He’ll get it. Anything you want and more, and he’ll do it, just say the words, baby. He’s all for shotgunning a wedding in some red light district bar, or officiating himself in drunken blabber. He’ll brag and brag until the other men are SICK of hearing about his romance endeavours, and no one won’t know he’s in love. You’re the glittering golden prize, and he’s well on his way to sweet victory. He’ll come home to you and boast about his accomplishments to make himself look cool, and play up anything he can that isn’t being compensated for. You’ll receive some gory pictures of dead enemy soldiers and trenches with little love notes beneath them. Prepare to have your ears yapped off, because that’s all he does, morning until noon. He’s somehow even more blunt than Animal Mother, and that’s BLUNT.
Rafterman
-Rafterman, oh, Rafterman. His intentions are good but he’s terrible at execution. His flirting is subpar, maybe a bit dry and reused from Joker’s lines, but to give him credit he’s kind and his soul is in the right place. You may not even realize he’s flirting at first until someone else points it out. If he’s not following orders or advice of some kind, then he’s hopeless. He needs advice for dating like he needs water, honestly. You can count on him for obedience, at least. He’s a task man, a gift-giver and a serviceman, you want something? Your favourite food? On it. You’ll get your fair share of beautiful scenic pictures, letters and takes from interviews, though. His experience being vast is one thing that gives him an advantage, he’s knowledgeable, endearingly so. Verbally? Maybe a little more adequate than Animal Mother or Crazy Earl, but still shaky. He struggles putting thoughts to words, when he’s in love his brain turns to utter mush and he feels like a bumbling idiot watching the girl he likes trot off from him. He’s confident, but in all the wrong places. Give him time and a chance and he’ll come around, but starting off it may not be much to talk about.
If you take requests, I wouldn't mind if you wrote some sort of one shot for Jett Rink. There's literally no material for him out there and the only other thing about him was created by you, so, yeah, anything that comes to mind. Thank you. Love me a lovesick, obsessed puppy Jett. ❤️
𝓦𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ୨ Jett Rink x reader ୧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
» a/n: sorry this took a while #procastinationqueen. also yay my first Jett Rink req! tysm <33 i totally agree this fandom is tiny, maybe if i write for it more people will show up, who knows.
You were caught. Standing in the doorway of the kitchen, home hours earlier than she previously stated, Luz watched wide eyed you standing pushed against the counter with Jett's hands on your waist, your lipstick smudged along his jawline, face and neck, hand cupping the side of his face. In the split second before Luz could open her mouth Jett sprang off you, hands in the air like a crook caught red handed. He began speaking, nonsense mostly. Deflecting blame from you, creating a story that he cornered you instead of it being a mutual affair. An attempt to keep your name clear, while tarnishing his own. Luz stormed out of the house, Jett following her as the two argued back and forth.
That rest of the day you stayed in your bedroom, awaiting your husband's return. You paced your room, heart thumping like the hooves of a racehorse, covered in sweat as you stressed about his reaction. The heat coming in from the window did not help either, adding to your anxious and dizzy mind. The evening goes by quickly, and soon the sky reddens and the world around you darkens with the sun escaping past the line on the horizon. You see Benedict's car drawing closer, it's stretched out shadow looming forwards like an ominous forewarning. You hear the front door open, you leave your room to watch over the banister. Luz stands in the hallway, talking to her brother in whispering tones. Shadow falls on his face, you cannot make out what expressions fall upon him. All you can see is an unnatural stillness in him as his neck bends down to point his ear at Luz, not swaying or moving up and down with breath.
Suddenly, Ben storms out of the house, opening the front door with such ferocity it hits the wall, letting the sound echo all through the big empty unhomely house. You race down the stairs to watch from the front porch beside Luz, where you can see him. she leaves a snarky comment, but you don't catch it. Blood is pumping in your ears, your nerves are shot by the sudden cool air from outside.
Benedict finds Jett readying himself to leave in the barn. He should've been long gone by now, only he couldn't get the ranch's car to start. The whip of air rushes past jett's face as he staggers backwards to avoid the blow Benedict threw at him with a white-knuckled fist. Ben takes him by the collar, you can see then twist and turn in opposition to one another's actions, ensuing a brawl. They move out of sight from the porch, you hear yelling but no clear words.
Luz turns to you to make another remark, but you're gone, skirt hitched running and already halfway to the barn. By the time you arrive the two men are on opposite sides of the barn, Benedict at the entrance Jett at the rear, leaving through the back entrance with a coat and bag slung over a shoulder.
"It's alright, he'll be gone now." Ben mumbles, wiping his knuckles on the white on his shirt. You're out of breath, cheeks reddened from running. You look over Ben's shoulder, eyes wide. Jett looks over his shoulder too, one last time, before melting into the blackness of the night. You say nothing, or his efforts to conceal the truth would be in vain. Only, maybe you wanted that. Maybe you wanted Benedict to find out the truth, the whole truth and to blow up at you and kick you out too in a fit of rage so you could run away with Jett somewhere else. No, you held back, you watched him disappear into the darkness, as if he never existed in the first place. One rogue tear escapes your eye, you turn your head so Benedict won't see.
For weeks afterwards, your life becomes the same gloomy repetitiveness it was before. Before Jett and you ever began seeing each other. Life became unbearably unsatisfactory, there was work to be done around the house sure, but with the maids assisting you chores were completed quickly, and large slots of free time emptied themselves into your weekly schedule. You wandered through the mansion, like a ghost. You dressed up each day just to stay inside, gazed out the windows longingly in hopes of seeing Jett returning, as if you were a damsel in distress awaiting your knight in shining armour to return. Only, he never did. Jett Rink never stepped foot on Texan soil ever again. Where ever he had ran off to, he had found it good enough that he didn't miss you enough to return. Being of wealthy descent, you had the privilege of taking part in multiple hobbies in your youth; learning sports, languages, arts. But now was different, you didn't want to do anything, something fell over you like a heavy numb blanket. you didn't know what it was, but only that your lover had been taken away from you, nobly denying and protecting your name.
"But at what cost?" You said to yourself, almost every day. You wanted to slip away. Thinking back to that fateful night Jett looked over his shoulder at you, he had a wise sadness hanging off his face, forbidden longing strewn in the air that night. If you could go back now, you'd follow him into the darkness. You'd follow him where ever he went, anywhere was better than here. You'd leave now, only you'd be disgraced with no where to go, destined for vagabonding the red deserts of the South. Oh Jett, i wish you were here.
The dark nights left even darker now. In the evenings as you saw your husband return home from the ranch each day through the large window in your bedroom, you stared down at the cars drawing closer to the house, and at the ground below. The tan, dusty sand good for growing nothing. It felt like an oasis of life out here, such rare few things grew by their own without human intervention. Not even the wood this old house was made from was sourced locally. If everything for a hundred miles around disappeared; swallowed up by a black hole; it would return to it's natural origins. No more sprawling ranches that cut lines of fencing across terrain, or large creaking houses. You saw no greenery, you felt yourself dying slowly too, like a plant with no water slowly shrivelling up in a drought, foolishly waiting for a raincloud. You looked at the ground, hypnotised by it's distance from the second story window. Something dark brewed in your mind, an escape.
Benedict knew. He was oblivious previously, but now that Jett was gone you had become depressed. Benedict loved you, and wanted you to love him, but you could not understand each other. You could not accept him for his traditional approach in life, he could not accept your stubborn love for another man. A part of you wanted to get over your affair and accept your role as housewife in this lonely home, but something in your body writhed for freedom. You couldn't pretend to be the perfect, content housewife anymore.
One night when you, Luz and Benedict were having dinner, Petra hands Benedict postcard. The mumbling small talk between the siblings pauses, Benedict stops to read it. "It's blank." He tosses it on the table, a confused frown chiselled into his brows.
A postcard with Oregon, USA, on the bottom of it. In a font written across the page, the words WISH YOU WERE HERE are written across a painted picture of lush green woodlands. There's a return address for some motel in Burns, a small quiet town near the Deschutes forest. In a moment of deja vú, you remember Jett talking about how he wanted to see the North of the country, particularly Oregon. In stories he's heard and pictures kept in pockets, he's seen forests that stretched out for miles, bright blue rivers weaving through them with salmon and grizzly bears along the rocky shores. "It's one of the last places in America we haven't destroyed yet." He told you, many nights ago. "I want to see it before I die." Now you're remembering the twinkle in his eyes, as if his soul was shining out of them. You remember the way he spoke, his recollections of stories and legends; how full of life he was. Lastly, you remember him promising you he'd never go alone, that he'd bring you along with him before he left for Oregon some day.
To Ms. Benedict, the first line of the address reads. Beside the address lines in the letter space, indeed nothing is written. "You got family up in Oregon?" Benedict asks, returning to his meal as he questions you casually.
You look up, not answering him. A sparkle that hasn't been in your eyes since the day Jett left suddenly is suddenly blazing brightly. The world is rising around you as you inhale, you're almost dizzy. He didn't forget you, not at all. Joy overcomes every ache and sadness within you in a rush; as if floodgates opened. You had to get to Oregon. You'd pack after dinner and run away under the cover of night, buy a one way ticket and never look back. "Not family..." you start, "...but someone is waiting for me."
You can imagine Jett in Oregon, in the north of the country. You wonder how he's holding up in the cold, not that it's a cold state but that it's nowhere near as hot as Texas.
"I don't understand you, the card is blank. How do you know someone's waitin' on you?" Ben asks.
"Oh Ben," for the first time in a very long time, you smiled at him. "You never did understand me."
what if you picked some flowers for barnes and were anonymously leaving them by his cot, until one day he catches you doing so .. ? 🌺🌼🌸
𝓢𝘢𝘪𝘨𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘩
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ୨ A Barnes x reader fic ୧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯
» a/n: sorry this took forever,, i didn't know what to write #lol gif by @eris-ships !
At this moment, the platoon was stationed smack dab in the middle of Vietnam, like sitting ducks waiting to get caught in the next local crossfire. They were somewhere by the Cambodian border, Hanoi to the north, Saigon to the south, and thousands of miles away from home.
The safest place for an American in Vietnam was on a plane out of the country. The second safest place was Saigon, the capital of the South. In such a situation, every single beating heart was under immense pressure. A sort of impending doom would fall over entire campsites and the soldiers anxiously awaiting their departure from their own manmade hell on earth. Life was repetitive, hellish.
Barnes and a small squad of about seven men returned from patrolling base camp. There had been signs of human tracks left dangerously close to camp and so a search party looking for tunnel entrances scoured the land. In vain, nothing was found. Their waiting demise was still lurking, a mere couple hundred yards from basecamp. The tension of failure held itself presently in Barnes. His muscles tightened up involuntarily, he was walking on the thin ice of fate and there was nothing he could do about it, a man is only so strong, so smart, so thorough after all. The knots in his muscles made him a man hard as stone. His well-worked tan, jagged features and drawling dialect painted the picture of a dangerous lone soldier, someone you only spoke to with importance as a motive, someone you only gave attention to if you could bear under his domineering gaze.
Barnes took a seat on the side of his bed, reaching to untie his boots, a flash of colour caught his eye instead. Laying on his pillow was a neat little bundle of colour. It popped, as if painted vividly amongst a room of sad greys, beige whites and dull greens. A couple privates closest to his bed had noticed them as well. None felt brave enough to make any remarks or questions, instead they all watched Barnes' face, waiting for a reaction. There was none.
Barnes was one step ahead. He knew the way you looked at him with unawarely hopeful eyes. A look of curiosity, shy admiration. The way you were the only woman on the base who wasn't repulsed by his cold animalistic-esque behaviour.
Over the next few weeks, new bundles of flowers appeared on Barnes' pillow, each as vivid as the last. Orchids, several variations of lilies, lantanas, chrysanthemums. Bob was playing the long game. As he saw it, there were two options; he could scrutinise your routine and catch you off guard. Or, he could let this go on for a little longer, enjoying the attention, and confront you when he felt the time was right. There was a much less serious side to him, one that was flattered by the attention to an understated degree.
"Care to explain?" Stood in front of you, Barnes held a fire lily between his index and his thumb, twirling it slowly. There was an amused twinkle in his eye. His tone was unchangeably firm as it often was, but his demeanour was playful. He was the cat who caught the mouse. He held the flower at face level with the same sort of energy a piece of evidence from a crime scene was handled with, rather than evidence of affection.
You gasp, totally embarrassed. Think schoolgirl who's just dropped her diary in front of her crush and the pages filled with his name in big red hearts just fell out in front of his feet. Your face flushes a bright shade of pink, the bravery and casualness on your face he admired so often no where to be seen as your eyes widened like a deer in headlights. It was checkmate, you couldn't deny.
As you side step around him, he lets you walk away. You can feel eyes burning through on the back of your head, watching you leave.
Totally embarrassed, you don't leave any flowers on his pillow the next day. Or the day after that, or several days afterwards. Life continues again, into the monotone routine it was before. You avert your eyes from Barnes any occasion you share a briefly close vicinity, you pretend what happened never happened.
One night, before entering your tent, you see the flap has been pushed aside and got stuck; someone had been in your tent. It was dark outside, a chilly breeze blew against your back, as if to entice you to enter. The inside of the tent was dimly illuminated, but even without any lighting you could made out the silhouette of a tall figure inside. Tall, broad shouldered, with the glow of a cigarette tucked between his lips. His boots sounded like soft crunches on the tarp below his feet as he walked towards you, eyes half-lidded. He cocked his jaw side to side letting the cigarette be wedged further from his lips as it burnt down to the butt. Robert exhaled smoke, not directly into your face but close enough that it stood between you and him. He was daring you to say something, to do something.
"Care to explain?" Barnes chuckled at your comment. An homage his own comment a couple days previously. For a moment you could of seen a flash of endearment appear then disappear in his eyes, like a wave rolling onto then tumbling off a shore. With no shame, he remains looking down at you for a long moment. It was your turn to be the interrogator. He wouldn't give you the satisfaction though, instead strolling off.
Inside your tent, you looked for what had been tampered with. Something must have been. There, on your pillow, a fire lily lay.
maybe some angst pleeeaaase🥹 like the boys all get brought back and some of them are extremely injured, and you realize the one being carried on a cot, completely stained with blood is barnes….🧍♀️🫶
𝓚𝘯𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯'𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘳
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ୨ A Barnes x reader fic ୧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯
» a/n: i love me some angst. thank you for all the requests! I'm very grateful for all the interactions, i promise i'll get around to them all sometime <3
Soldiers poured into basecamp, hopping off transport helicopters and unloading the most unfortunate of them on stretchers. The medic tent was suddenly filled with the rush of bodies and the smell of blood. Groans, cries and thousand yard stares riddled your senses in there. That was the first stage; the comedown after adrenaline, before pain medication was issued.
The general order of these things was that the higher-ups arrived first, gave a number of beds needed, who the most critical patients were, such general information. Red appeared in your line of sight, the rush of soldiers a couple feet behind him. As he read out the list of needs, soldiers passed by you two to enter the medic tent. As he read out from memory what was counted as crucial, he noted one singular critical patient. In that very moment, that one patient was carried in past you on a stretcher. Barnes.
There was a chemistry no one could deny between you and the stiff upper-lipped Sergeant. Something kept in the shadows and whispered about in the absence of either of you. A number of privates had guessed you'd work yourself into some awful sobbing mess and be unable to perform your tasks once you heard or saw the news. That news being Barnes. He had been so lucky as to still be breathing, but unlucky enough so as to be close to a hand grenade as he was.
You entered the medic tent, seeing a chaos of soldiers being lain out on camping-style beds, standing around, waiting for a moment of medical attention from the busied staff. You saw the two soldiers carrying Barnes on a stretcher awkwardly blend through the crowd, making their way towards the back wall of the tent near the inventory room, as were all critically injured. The ground was a tarp, dust-dirt covered. As soon as Barnes had been lowered to a bed, you were the first responder. His eyes were closed, likely due to the pouring of blood from several gashes across his face. It was difficult to make out what was blood on the skin and what was an open wound. He was knocking on Heaven's door.
The bustle of soldiers in the background, the whining for pain medication, the rustling of the tent walls being brushed against, everything was overstimulating.
"He ain't been so responsive." One of the soldier's comments darkly, in some hard to place typical American accent. You placed a hand on top of Barnes', looking for any sort of response from his body language. The room was full of soldiers hissing and writhing in pain, like snakes that had been stepped on. Barnes was an exception. Laying blinded, in indescribable pain. The only indication he was alive at all was the rapid rise and fall of his chest, and the tension in his muscles.
After prescribing a strong pain medicine you began cleaning off the surface of his skin. Mixes of ash, dust and blood had plastered onto his skin. New brighter blood ran from zig-zag cuts running from the left side of his chest and shoulder to his face. Ever so carefully, the new anatomy of his facial structure was revealed. Like steep cutting rivers curving and cascading in the colour crimson through the once smooth plains of his face. At this stage his face had been cleaned up enough he could open his eyes. Bright, virile blue eyes contrasted with the darkened tanned skin and muddy red on his face.
Looking down at your sweetheart, bludgeoned by war, gentle tears fell from your eyes. You spoke in a pained whisper. "What have they done to you?" It wasn't the Vietcong, it wasn't even the individual responsible for throwing a grenade so close to him either who did this. It was the politicians thousands of miles away in their warm homes who couldn't identify a hand grenade if it was three feet in front of them who did this. He was a pawn on a chessboard, and had been treated as such.
Barnes could see you looking down at him, grieving. He could feel the lines on his face torn open through the numbing of the medication. They were bright red and angry, pulsing a heartbeat of their own. The grey yellow ceiling of the tent painted a backdrop for his line of view, a lantern hanging on a tent pole behind your head illuminated a halo around your skull. It was the last thing in his view, in his memory, before he succumbed to a surrendering sleep. Maybe Heaven had let him in.
It was early morning when he woke up. Stiffened back, aching limbs. Everything was tingling in remembrance of a pain that had burned like a wildfire only hours ago. Especially his face. A pull curtain shielded him from the rest of the ward, if you could call it that. A radio noise buzzed from somewhere beyond his vision, the murmuring of voices, the occasional grunt of someone tossing uncomfortably on the creaking beds. The world around him smelled musty and medicinal. He could see the outline of his body under a thin white sheet, the iv fluid connected to him at the inner elbow, the tarp on the ground below. Barnes' hand drew itself out from under the sheet, he felt the skin on his face. Rugged, fresh with the texture of stitches lining it from above his left eyebrow to across his cheek then down his chin, finally dotting along his mouth in exaggerated dash esque lines. These lines were traced by calloused, unfeeling fingertips. He pulled his clothes away from his skin, revealing dangerously large gashes on his chest and shoulder, enough to of killed him.
A murky recollection of recent events jigsawed themselves together. He could remember a battle in the jungle, a loud explosion, being dragged into a stretcher and the agonising, painful trip back to base while falling in and out of consciousness, unsure if anything was real.
The drag of the curtain along the rail holding it up whistled for his attention. Immediately he sat up, to attention. You meekly hesitated at the foot of his bed, seeing a new face on a familiar person. You weren't scared, you were mournful.
Barnes didn't see that, though. "Get me a mirror." He orders in a rough bark, feeling the stitches nearest to his lip pull on the skin they were sewn into.
You approach the side of his bed, eyes never leaving his face. You were relearning it, how one brow drooped ever so slightly after the destruction of a facial muscle above it had been sliced, the crookedness of his mouth, the several random other marks along his face. He felt like Frankenstein waking up. Like someone who cheated death, but at what cost? You didn't heed his order, still creeping closer along the bed to his right. Beneath his cool unshowing eyes he was brimming with frustration, alienation, and he hadn't even seen himself yet. "Oh, Bobby." You breathed, reaching to hold his shoulder. Barnes got there before you, a tight grasp on your wrist. "A mirror." Something inside him broke. He was not ordering you, he was not spitting with rage. You could almost believe he was pleading with you.
Your eyes danced across his face and what expressions were painted on it. As he slowly let go of your wrist, you exited the room. You said nothing. He watched you leave silently, only wishing he hadn't let you go. What were you going to of said to him? He'd never know, because you'd never come back. You were going to leave him there, in that hospital bed, riddled with horrid features, ones to match his actions. He knew it, or so he believed.
A minute later you came back. It was easy to find a mirror, but not to decide what to say to Barnes. You stood by the foot of the bed again, Barnes watching eyes evaluating you. "Please, don't be hard on yourself." You reassured him. His eyes sunk deep into his brows, mottled with some complexion of sadness and distrust. Then, you walked to his side, handing him the mirror.
Silence held heavy in the air of the room. You again reached for his right, uninjured shoulder, drawing circles gently on his skin. Barnes refused his reflection, staring at it for a long space of time. Every extra detail he saw was something else to loathe. Now, he guessed, you'd leave him for some half-wit soldier with a pretty face. He'd be left behind by you, a living memory of the past. You placed a kiss on the side of his face, wincing in sympathy.
"You should have let me die." He lowers the mirror, staring ahead.
"Bobby, I love you."
It fell on deaf ears.
Pitching an idea (if you like) with absolutely insane baby fever but Barnes and his wife with their first child together at home? Just being hit with the realization of being safe and watching over them and having someone who depends on him
𝓦𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘴
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ୨ A Barnes x reader fic ୧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯
» a/n: later than i planned, but here it is! god i hate school. but anyways enjoy <3
inspired by the song "Wild Horses" by TRS.
7:21am, in a cabin, somewhere in rural South Carolina.
The white lace curtains blow in the humid air lazily and through the window the summer sun beams into the bedroom, shining light on the old wooden floor, then the bedframe, then the mattress, then your face.
Something was missing. It wasn't the gun kept in the nightstand drawer, it wasn't the watch or the wedding ring in a ceramic bowl on the nightstand either. You turns your head, the space beside you in the bed is empty. The wrinkles on the sheet show that once someone slept here. You outreach a hand towards the sheet, feeling no warmth. He had been gone long before you awoke.
You saw him through a window as he headed back home along the dirt path, frowning absentmindedly. He had slung a pheasant on a rope around it's neck over his shoulder. The bird had a warm brown feathery colour, it's head shades of glimmering navy and berry red. It hit against his shoulder blade limply with every step he took, like rapping knuckles on a door. Barnes was always awake before you. During his tours in Vietnam there was a 6 am sharp wake time you'd be sorry if you missed. All that routine had drilled into him and left a mark. Even without an alarm he was mechanically set to wake up at the crack of dawn, everyday, without fail.
He was the Sergeant of a platoon, he had men depending on him. He had to show up; to set an example. Yet things had changed now. Never again would the rattle of a machine gun or whizz of a bullet disturb him throughout his day. No, those terrors had shapeshifted now, transforming into nightmares, plagues that fevered his mind when the sky was dark and he was thousands of miles away from their origin. Hand on a weapon metal-made and heated from rapid use, cool jungle air in his nostrils mangled with the scent of blood and death. Although he left Vietnam, Vietnam would never leave him.
⋆
As Barnes entered the house, the sounds of early morning greeted him. The sound of a knife hitting a cutting board, the whining of a kettle near boiling, the humming of a woman. His footsteps were heavy on the old floorboards, creaking loudly. This noisiness wasn't a problem, he had no one to hide from anymore. His enemies had won the war and he had retreated back to his origins. Or had he? Some days Barnes wondered if this was real, or if he was bleeding out and dying somewhere back in the jungle; coping with his near end by envisioning a heaven. A cabin in seclusion, a wife making breakfast, a child's crib in a room down the hallway.
He sat at the table, coming out of his wandering mind back to reality. He plopped the pheasant down on the table. "That'll be t'night's dinner." He declares casually, crossing his ankles over underneath the table.
⋆
You sat on the front porch, in a rocking chair built from spruce wood with carved details in it. The initials of you and Barnes had been carved on the middle of the back rest carefully with a miniature chisel and mallet. A gift, for the arrival of a newborn. In your cradling arms, wrapped in fine white cotton, a babe no more than nine months rests, close to the warmth of your core.
The view of a valley breaking out from a forest lies in front of your porch. There are strong, wild winds bouncing and whirling and running through the plains, but the tall pines either side of the porchway protect you from the elements. The grass of the valley falls and rises rhythmically with the melody of wind, like a sea of green blades, like nature's lungs ascending and descending. And then there, like rogues in leagues of their own, a herd of horses emerges from the horizon, making their way into clear view.
Wild horses. Beautiful, strong, dark, mottled, light, bold, patterned. Flowing unbrushed manes and muscular necks. There were maybe a dozen of them, all staying close to each other's vicinity among the swaying grass.
"Look, Bobby." You whispered under your breath, following the shapes of grey and brown and white animals in the distance.
Barnes was leaning against the railing, away from you and your new child. He had a Marlboro red tucked between his lips, the smoke blowing in the opposite direction to you, intentionally. He had picked up the habit of smoking not in the near proximity of the child, as to your satisfaction. He had already turned his head towards your view. It was rare to spot wild horses, even in the middle of the sticks where the laws of society were replaced with the laws of the land. There were no men shouting conversation, but rather a bobcat's yowl. No late night callers cry, but rather a horned owl's signature tune.
Both, in silence, you and Barnes watched the horses graze. A small speckled foal followed by it's mother's side, young slender joints carrying it in an unsteady, fresh stride.
Your face turns to Bobby, an expression of endearment underlined. He too was watching the foal, an animalistic reminder that life goes on.
⋆
Late at night, lying by your side, Robert can't find it in him to fall asleep. Late night shifts of watching over the sleeping platoon, being the only one depended on to keep watch had been ingrained into him to an almost institutionalised level.
Now, it was different. He was not squatted amongst verdant bushes with ragged soldiers scattered out of sight in turning, tossing slumber. He didn't wear a uniform of army green, his surroundings didn't smell like rain-wet vegetation and the smolder of gun smoke. The room smelled like the lavender sitting in a vase on the nightstand. Moonlight invited itself into the room through the window, shining through the silhouette of a window. Barnes turned his head slowly, seeing a familiar crescent moon in the middle of the midnight sky. Funny, how it was the same moon he'd been gazing at all his life, even overseas when he was deployed. The moon had been there since before he even existed, and it'd be there long after he's gone.
He holds you closer, kissing your forehead. You'd never know this, you were fast asleep in his trusted embrace.
⋆
Barnes watched from the comfort of a dust-red armchair you sat on the floor, kneeling beside your infant, hands under their elbows as they used their stubby legs to support their weight. You glanced up, making sure Bobby was watching. He was. Barnes smiled rarely with his mouth. His smile was a hidden one, in the twinkle of his eyes as he watched on.
Clumsily, one foot fell in front of the other. You lingered, letting the babe walk unsupported. Towards their father. He smiled. Everything was so simple right now. Your face was illuminated by the midday sun shining through the window behind him, your child was taking their first steps. When the child reached him, in about four stumbling steps, he reached down, picking them up and propping the infant on his knee. They giggled, looking at Barnes' face. How funny it was, to be loved unconditionally. To this babe Barnes was their father, nothing more. Not a killer branded by war, not a Frankenstein pariah.
the feminine urge to write about the late 60s, the hippies, the vietnam war, parris island and the vibe in the air during that time
one more cup of coffee for the road .
What I need is an enemy with benefits
me waiting for you to write more😭
I have exams this week so I've been busy, I'll write the requests at the weekend 🩶🩶
I'm dying to know, how would Barnes react if after the Vietnam War was over, (headcanoning that he survives) his s/o he sent home was waiting for his return?
Country Roads.
Robert Barnes x Reader.
---
Trains didn't pass through here.
Neither did buses; hell, even the odd car or truck was a rarity of a sight to behold.
There are places in this great, big country where Wal-mart Discount City worked 24 / 7, but Barnes didn't think anything here works that long. Well, maybe it does? He wouldn't know. He's been away for that long. Maybe in the big cities somewhere. Here, everything closed early because everything is critically understaffed because of equally critical low wages, that much will never change at least. Especially, precisely here. It closed here at like…five in the afternoon. In the winter, at around three. How depressing was that? Melancholy and desolation and silence and the god of the sun lands in a wheat field, traversing the endless gold sea. He gets hungry from his long weary travels and wants to buy some bread, salami and ketchup for a sandwich to eat. He grabs the handle of the store's entrance and he finds it locked shut. Barnes lights a cigarette walking along the rusty train tracks erected over a hollow valley down below, chuckling at his own thoughts, musings and overly active imagination running wild, observing a distant sundown embracing the other side of the mountain and the water silo sitting at its top, giving the sun the humanity of a drifter travelling home on foot, not unlike himself.
A great green valley opens up in front of him and underneath him.
On a metal bridge that once served to transport mining wagons.
Now, standing solitary above a sea of pine trees enveloped in a shroud of dusk.
There was nothing in this remote county anymore; shit, there was barely anything out here when he was born, almost forty years ago now, Great Depression and all, the last coal miners and road workers hanging up their tools and pickaxes and leaving, moving on, resettling into nearby villages and towns where industry wasn't quite so hopeless and dead, him being one of them --- somehow, going to the 'Nam almost being a great equalizer to whatever he had back here, which was not much to speak of anyway except the family home that's stood empty or at least half-empty ever since his Ma' died and Pa' followed suit, but he figured he'd never complain or pose himself a snowflake with a sort of suffering so special it needed recounting or spilling willy-nilly, relishing the silence in an odd way no differently than he did when he was eighteen and freshly volunteering, figuring that at least out here, nobody was likely to bother his ass. Then or now. He didn't need much of the world anyhow. Never liked it tremendously in the first place. Was the most overrated crap imaginable.
He sent you here. Yeah, he did, son of a bitch that he was.
Thought, no, knew in fact, the boredom of the lonely vista and all, it was infinitely preferable to you meeting an early end faced with a stray bullet, a mine blowing your guts out, losing your limbs, going blind or deaf thanks to the fallout of an explosion, inhaling some crap you shouldn't inhale and earing yourself a tumor or cancer or getting captured and raped fifty times and then hanged up a nearby tree and he didn't care who disagreed with him on that. Yeah, he wrote you up as unfit for service on purpose, even though you qualified in every sense. Short sighted. A consummate slacker. Troublemaker. Insubordinate. Bad for collective morale. Clumsy. Doesn't know what the fuck she's doing. Anything he could come up with to spice up a report so hefty you'd be on the next chopper out of there as ordered by Captain Harris and that sad, wet noodle, limp wristed sack of shit Wolfe who was never hard to convince or anything anyway. He didn't care if you hated him afterwards. Hate was something he was comfortable with him; like an old friend's familiar tap on the shoulder.
So long as he could spare you something you by no means needed to suffer.
Death.
What did you know about death anyhow? If he had any say in it, and he did have all the say, you'd continue to know as little as possible.
Gave you the key to his family home.
Pushed into the palm of your hand the night before you were recalled and evacuated away from base camp and out of country; told you it ain't much but you can sit tight and wait for him there until he comes back. Easy pickings to have someone drive you out here. Enough shotguns and ammo still lining the walls of the old homestead for you to use them if some sack of shit finds a particular interest in a woman alone in the hills. Until he comes back, that is.
-"And if you don't?"-
He remembered you asking, questioning his plan of action, fierce and just as sad.
He had no answer to that, throwing you a lingering stare, memorizing your face.
Walking into back to his freshly dug foxhole and scurrying back into the dark.
He recollection has him sinking deeper into his leather jacket as he trudged along broken, defunct train tracks overgrown with thick Spanish moss and weeds, passing the odd crooked billboard, electrical pole or sign that faded beyond recognition exposed to the elements, the copper frame of the railroad partially missing at certain intervals, like someone came up here and dedicated their sorry ass to stealing the darn thing and probably sell it to some third party piece of shit motherfucker; he didn't bother changing out of his fatigues either. What he fought in back there was what he wore out here; the same combat boots, the same trousers, belt buckles and button ups, halfway challenging someone to say or do something about it. Didn't wear sunglasses to tactically conceal the scars either as much as they could be concealed; figured he wanted to see you in all your colors, openly and clearly, in the off chance you actually took up his offer and decided to wait on him here. Not diluted or obscured by shades. Ever since that gutless piece of shit Taylor had him on his aim and Barnes gave him a direct order to just do it and end it all he thought about you and what a sight for sore eyes you'd be. Back from the dead and walking a great, big freshly plowed field where the road ended and the bridge was crossed, leading into a valley of rich, black soil running along the length of an old, partially collapsed fence that needed fixing. He scoots down and grabs a hand of the earth, crushing it in the palm of his hand, feeling it, bringing it up to his mouth and planting a kiss on it, letting the dust cascade back where it belonged, spilling through the hollows of his fingers. Looking back up, the roof of his house is clear and in view, encircled by a fence line of trees; a small bit of movement on the other side of the acres long parcel, scooting down and harvesting something out of the ground.
Well, he'll be damned.
So, you came out here after all.
Barnes spits the tobacco he's been chewing for a better portion of a mile.
Decides to watch until your form straightened out and then stood still.
On alert.
As if though you saw him watching you.
Maybe unable to make him out quite as well as you would've liked in the dusk.
Perhaps left anxious by the single solitary man out here other than yourself.
-"Mhmm-hmm! You gone and done turned real native out here!"-
He hums followed by a deep, bellowing yell that echoes across the open field dotted with the last rays of an orange sundown, finding he sounded just as self-content and smug as he intended to; the sound of his voice enough to cause a murder of crows to flap their wings up in fright. -"Pickin' them taters all by your lonesome."- He adds, chiding playfully, feeling his own finger slide up and down the belt of the rucksack swung over his shoulder in anticipation. -"In the middle of my property no less!"- He prods, finding you merely standing there, in the distance, like a deer contemplating whether it should move out of the car's way or not. He could've swore that he spotted your mouth falling agape. He halfway expected to grab the dozen of potatoes you dug out of the ground and gathered into a basket at him, taking aim. Instead, you're frozen in motion. Merely staring. -"Now, who gave'ya permission to be doin' that, exactly?"- He sass mouths, throwing one leg forward and placing one arm on his hip, not expecting the guttural shout you let out, cutting through the silence of twilight and the wideness of the valley, like it took a hot minute for his presence here to settle in. Like you needed to actually process the fact he's come back. -"Robert?"- You yell, questioning, still as stiff as a board, right before your legs moved and you were practically running towards him, heavy in sprint, your harvest apparently long since forgotten. -"Robert!?"- You practically wail, mid-stride, your form bigger and bigger amidst the flatland, flying like a bullet or a bull in a half stumbling rut towards him; he imagined that once you reached him, your hands will either ball into fists and start railing and slapping against him desperately or you'd spit straight across his face for sending you away the way he did. Either way, what bliss. So, stand and deliver, he thinks, giving you the right to do whatever you decided once your face was close enough for him to see the tears welling up inside of them, brows furrowed, visage twisted in a mask of despair once you lounged yourself at him, caught by his arms, the weight of the push practically thumbling both of you backwards, your hands black and grimy, hidden behind a coating of dried mud as you clench and coil yourself around him in what he could only describe as need and panic.
Trains didn't pass through here, nah.
Neither did buses; hell, even the odd car or truck was a rarity of a sight to behold.
A pheasant cries in the distance and the sun god was sinking into the bosom of the mountain and he was standing in the middle an empty late summer, early autumnal pasture, the evening humidity rising out of the earth, leaving behind a heavy scent, the onslaught of your kisses bedashed with tears peppered feverishly across his face leaving you out of breath.