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This is very good. #booknerd
Just ordered this!Ā
10 Habits of Happy Couples
10 Habits Of Happy Couples
Here's the link to the story, too:Ā
http://www.lifebuzz.com/happy-couples/
Dr. Mark GoulstonĀ is psychiatrist, international speaker, and best selling author of books such asĀ Just Listen: Discover the Secret to getting Through to Absolutely Anyone,Ā The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship: How to Fall in Love Againā¦and Stay There,Ā REAL INFLUENCE: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In,Ā Get Out of Your Own Way, andĀ Get Out of Your Own Way at Work.Ā
His postĀ 10 Habits of Happy CouplesĀ offers valuable tips to will help you improve your relationship.
Happy couples know that the real relationship begins when the honeymoon is over. They know that unless you maintain the garden of love, its beauty will wither and die.
#1. Go to bed at the same time. Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldnāt wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps. And when their skins touch it still causes each of them to tingle and unless one or both are completely exhausted to feel sexually excited.
#2. Cultivate common interests. After the passion settles down, itās common to realize that you have few interests in common. But donāt minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.
#3. Walk hand in hand or side by side. Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know itās more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.
#4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode. If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they canāt resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.
#5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong. If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.
#6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work. Our skin has a memory of āgood touchā (loved), ābad touchā (abused) and āno touchā (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the āgood touch,ā which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.
#7. Say āI love youā and āHave a good dayā every morning. This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.
#8. Say āGood nightā every night, regardless of how you feel. This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.
#9. Do a āweatherā check during the day. Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that youāre more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.
#10. Be proud to be seen with your partner.
Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact ā hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.
Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a discrete behavior that you do automatically and that takes little effort to maintain. It takes 21 days of daily repetition of a new a behavior to become a habit. So select one of the behaviors in the list above to do for 21 days and voila, it will become a habitā¦and make you happier as a couple. And if you fall off the wagon, donāt despair, just apologize to your partner, ask their forgiveness and recommit yourself to getting back in the habit.
If there was one key to happiness in love and life and possibly even success it would be to go into each conversation you have with this commandment to yourself front and foremost in your mind, āJust Listenā and be more interested than interesting, more fascinated than fascinating and more adoring than adorable.
Credit:Ā Mark Goulston
Message of the Day: Don't waste too much precious time worrying about things from the past that you can't change. (at Sacremento California)
Check out my latest article (pg 52) in the September issue of Max Sports and Fitness magazine. Can't find a copy? Here's the link: www.icloudmedia.com/t/27551 #MSF #maxmuscle #fitness #healthylifestyles
19 Things the Millionaire Next Door Won't Tell You...
http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-act-like-a-millionaire-2013-8#!HIQPv
19 Things the Millionaire Next Door Won't Tell You
By Len Penzo
Although having a million bucks isnāt as impressive as it once was, itās still nothing to sneeze at.
In fact,Ā ReutersĀ reports that in 2009 there areĀ 7.8 million millionairesĀ in the United States.Ā Thatās a lot of people and the odds are one or two of them are living nearĀ you.
Heck, one of them might even be your neighbor. In fact, the odds are very good that itĀ isĀ your neighbor.
But, Len, you donāt know my neighbor.Ā That guy doesnāt look anything like a millionaire.
Well, guess what? A millionaire who is truly financially savvy won't be easily recognizable.Ā
1. He always spends less than he earns.Ā In fact his mantra is, over the long run, youāre better off if you strive to be anonymously rich rather than deceptively poor.
2. He knows that patience is a virtue. The odds are you wonāt become a millionaire overnight.Ā If youāre like him, your wealth will be accumulated gradually by diligently saving your money over multiple decades.
3.Ā When you go to his modest three-bed two-bath house, youāre going to beĀ drinking Folgers instead of Starbucks.Ā And if you need a lift, well, youāre going to get a ride in his ten-year-old economy sedan.Ā And if you think that makes him cheap, ask him if he cares.Ā (He doesnāt.)
4. He pays off his credit cards in full every month.Ā Heās smart enough to understand that if he canāt afford to pay cash for something, then he canāt afford it.
5. He realized early on that money does not buy happiness.Ā If youāre looking for nirvana, you need to focus on attaining financial freedom.
6. He never forgets that financial freedom is a state of mind that comes from being debt free.Ā Best of all,Ā it can be attained regardless of your income level.
7. He knows that getting a second job not only increases the size of your bank account quicker but it also keeps you busy ā and being busy makes it difficult to spend what you already have.
8. He understands that money is like a toddler; it is incapable of managing itself.Ā After all, you canāt expect your money to grow and mature as it should without some form of credible money management.
9. Heās a big believer in paying yourself first. Paying yourself first is an essential tenet of personal finance and a great way to build your savings and instill financial discipline.
10. Although itās possible to get rich if you spend your life making a living doing something you donāt enjoy, he wonders why you do.Ā Life is too short.
11.Ā He knows that failing to plan is the same as planning to fail.Ā He also knows that the few millionaires that reached that milestone without a plan got there only because of dumb luck.Ā Ā Itās not enough to simply declare that you want to be financially free.
12. When it came time to set his savings goals, he wasnāt afraid to think big.Ā Financial success demands that you have a vision that is significantly larger than you can currently deliver upon.
13. Over time, he found out that hard work can often help make up for a lot of financial mistakes ā and you will make financial mistakes.
14. He realizes that stuff happens, thatās why youāre a fool if you donāt insure yourself against risk. Remember that the potential for bankruptcy is always just around the corner and can be triggered from multiple sources: the death of the familyās key bread winner, divorce, or disability that leads to a loss of work.
15. He understands that time is an ally of the young.Ā He was fortunate enough to begin saving in his twenties so he could take maximum advantage ofĀ the power of compounding interestĀ on his nest egg.
16. He knows that you canāt spend what you donāt see.Ā You should use automatic paycheck deductions to build up your retirement and other savings accounts.Ā As your salary increases you can painlessly increase the size of those deductions.
17. Even though he has a job that he loves, he doesnāt have to work anymore because everything he owns is paid for ā and has been for years.
18.Ā Heās not impressed that you drive an over-priced luxury carĀ and live in a McMansion thatās two sizes too big for your family of four.
19. After six months of asking, he finally quit waiting for you to return his pruning shears.Ā He broke down and bought himself a new pair last month.Ā Thereās no hard feelings though; he can afford it.
So thatās it.Ā Now you know what your millionaire neighbor wonāt tell you.
Read more:Ā http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-act-like-a-millionaire-2013-8#ixzz37BOrUK5p
Ok, as a parent, I am guilty of many of these examples. Ā This is a great read and concepts that I will now incorporate as a parent to be a better parent.
Here's the link:Ā http://wearethatfamily.com/2014/03/9-things-we-should-get-rid-of-to-help-our-kids/
9 Things We Should Get Rid of to Help Our Kids
March 16, 2014Ā byĀ Kristen
She borrowed something from me.
And then she lost it.
Accidents happen.
But it was the whole āIt only cost ten bucks-you can get another oneā attitude that I couldnāt let happen a moment longer.
So, I gave her a job that required hard work and gave her the $10 she earned and then I made her pay me for what she lost.
Listen, when I realized I was more than half the problem in this whole entitlement parenting challenge, it was a wake up call. Kids naturally want what they havenāt earned, especially if we are handing it out for free.
But what we have is an entire generation of young adults who got everything they ever wanted with little or no work; we have a cultural norm and itās a problem.
Because reality is, life doesnāt give us everything we want. We donāt always get the best jobs or a job at all. We donāt always have someone rescue us when we have a bad day or replace our boss just because we donāt like them. We canāt always have what we want when we want it. We arenāt always rewarded in life.
Here are 9 things we can get rid of to begin eliminating entitlement in our children:
1.Ā Guilt:Ā Often we give into our kidās requests out of guilt. We need to stop feeling guilty for not giving our kids everything they want. Itās hard to swallow, but we foster the attitude of entitlement in our homes when we are ruled by a guilty conscience. Itās okay to ask kids to be responsible for what they lose and to require consequences for actions.
2.Ā Overspending:Ā I think itās good for our kids to hear us say, āWe canāt afford thatā Or āWe will have to save for it.ā Because thatās real life. We donāt have All The Money to Buy All the Things. Iāve known families before who are working multiple jobs to keep kids in extracurricular activities, when honestly, the kids would probably be happier with more family time.
3.Ā Birthday Party Goody Bag (Mentality)-Iāve been guilty of this like most of us. But, really? We take our kids to parties so they can give a gift, but they take a small one home so they wonāt feel bad? Itās not their birthday. This concept of spoiling kids (which usually goes far beyond goody Ā bags) is temporary fun. Itās okay for them not to be the center of attention.
4.Ā Making our day-week-month,Ā ourĀ worldĀ about our kids-Working in the non-profit world has redirected our extra time. We simply canāt center our lives around our children when we are centering our lives around Christ. Child-centered homes donāt help children in the long-run.
5.Ā The desire to make our children happy (all the time).Ā If you visited my house, youād find out pretty quickly that someoneās always unhappy. Itās not our job to keep our kids happy. Donāt carry that impossible burden. Typically when our kids are unhappy, itās because we are standing our ground. And that makes for much healthier kids in the future.
6.Ā Made Up Awards:Ā You know what Iām talking about. Rewarding everyone who participates in every area only fosters an inflated self esteem. Kids donāt need rewards for every little thing. Itās okay to lose, they learn through failure as much as success.
7.Ā Fixing all their problems:Ā I donāt like to see my kids struggling. Thereās a part of every parent that longs to make things right in their childās world. But itās not healthy to create a false reality. You wonāt always be there to do so and not only that, if youāre doing it all for your child, why would they need to learn to do it themselves? Fixing all their problems is really only creating more challenges in the future.
8.Ā Stuff:Ā We could all probably fill a half dozen trash bags with just stuff. Excess. Try it. Bag it up and get your kids to help you and give it to someone who needs it.
9.Ā Unrealistic Expectations:Ā My girls are always asking for manicures. I didnāt have one until I was married, pregnant and 27 years old. Iām not opposed to the occasional treat, but itās the attitude of expecting it because you as a parent or others have it. Just because I have an iPhone, doesnāt mean my children will get one. We donāt have to give our kids everything we have. Itās okay to make them wait for things in life.
Itās okay to toss out these things. Go ahead, give it a try.
We Could Learn From This...Seriously
http://mic.com/articles/91279/japan-fans-did-what-no-other-soccer-fans-would-after-their-world-cup-team-lost?utm_source=policymicFB&utm_medium=main&utm_campaign=social
The news:Ā When American fans win a major sporting event, they often like to celebrate by turning over cars andĀ burning everythingĀ in sight. When Japanese teams lose, it turns out that fans commiserate by cleaning the stadium.
On Saturday, Japan lost its first World Cup match with the Ivory Coast by 2-1. While that could have been a demoralizing start for most sports enthusiasts, a bunch of Japanese fans who attended the event atĀ Arena Pernambuco in Recife, Brazil decided to respond with an unbelievably classy move: cleaning up the stadium.
The team also displayed good form by bowing to the fans and thanking them for their support as clean-up began.
Why did they do this?Ā Japanese sports fans ā nicknamed the Blue Samurais ā are famous for their cleaning etiquette. It's customary for fans to clean up at events at home and they have demonstrated the practice at other World Cups before.
Words of wisdom.
Found these 2 gems at the store today next to all the BBQ sauces and marinades and couldn't resist! LOL ššš Can't wait to try them! #RubSomeButt #BoneSuckingSauce #BBQSauce
So excited for this game! Central Catholic vs. McClymonds of Oakland for the Division 4 Northern California Championships. If we win this one, we go to State! Go Raiders! #football #WE
So proud of you @samoanstuntman ššš"Go Big or Go Home" ~ The Hollywood Stuntman SAG Nomination: OUTSTANDING ACTION PERFORMANCE BY STUNT ENSEMBLE MOTION PICTURE. Very proud of my family and incredible stuntman, Tanoai Reed @samoanstuntman & the FAST AND FURIOUS stunt team for this accomplishment. Our stunt brothers & sisters - truly the unsung heroes and backbone of Hollywood. #Family #StuntsUnlimited #BrandX #ScreenActorsGuild #Respect" via @TheRock
Dont.Ever.Stop. Ā Chase your dreams and chase them wildly.
These pictures almost made me cry...
Ran into this guy at the Stanford-Oregon rally. His sign is hilarious! Great game, Stanford!
From an interview with designer/artist/soul searcher Elle Luna:
So I was using Uber all the time in San Francisco, even though I hated the design. And then I went to the Crunchies awards ceremony and at a post-ceremony event, where I was in a ball gown, I saw the CEO of Uber, Travis...
I love this. There's nothing worse than untapped potential and the fear of going outside of your comfort zone. Take chances. You only live once.
The first time photographer Angelo Merendino met Jennifer, he knew she was the one. They fell in love and got married in New Yorkās Central Park, surrounded by family, friends, and loved ones.
Five months later Jen was diagnosed with breast cancer. From Angeloās blog: āI remember the exact momentā¦Jenās voice and the numb feeling that enveloped me. That feeling has never left. Iāll also never forget how we looked into each otherās eyes and held each otherās hands. āWe are together, weāll be ok.āā
Throughout her battle, Angelo decided to photograph it. He wanted to humanize Ā the face of cancer on the face of his wife. The photos speak for themselves. Ā http://www.viralnova.com/wifes-cancer/
Love life and make every moment count.
Every single time.