Queer Parenting in Practice

Not just theory: Stories navigating parenting two children with queer, feminist, and radical honesty principles in a polyamorous home.

[neutrois]

The Midwives Who Help Trans & Non-Binary Parents Give Birth

When it comes to giving birth, and being supported during that time by medical professionals, expectant parents face a world full of binaries, like being a woman or a man, mom or dad.

“The act of getting pregnant and giving birth is held so tightly as a female domain. Pregnancy and birth is a physically and emotionally vulnerable time, and that experience can be heightened when your gender identity does not conform with societal norms. As a health care provider we are trying to create a safe and affirming environment for clients who share this experience.”

[plannedparenthood]

I’m a trans woman on HRT. Can I get my partner pregnant if I stop HRT?

Someone asked us:

Hi, I am a trans woman (mtf), and have been on hrt for almost 3 years. I come from a family of very fertile males. My S.O. and I want to become pregnant. How likely is it that we might be able to make this happen? If I were to put my hormone regimen on hold for a while, would that be enough to make it happen? Or are there other things that we can do to make this work for us?

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) does typically lower sperm count. But taking a break from your hormone treatment may help your sperm count go up again. Typically, it’s recommended to stop hormones for about 3 months. However, there isn’t much research on this topic so we don’t really know how long of a break is enough to get to a sperm count where pregnancy is likely to happen. While there’s no guarantee that your sperm count will return, lots of trans women have been able to cause a pregnancy with their partner after taking a break from hormones. Some people freeze their sperm (cryopreservation) before starting hormones, but this is expensive, and doesn’t guarantee future fertility.

If you’re unsure of your sperm count and mobility after several months of not being on hormones, a semen analysis may answer some of these questions about your fertility. Some Planned Parenthood health centers offer this kind of testing, as well as urologists, reproductive endocrinologists, and other fertility specialists. You may want to consider Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) if you and your partner are having trouble getting pregnant after stopping hormones for several months, although this is expensive as well.

Real talk: fertility testing and treatment can be really expensive if your insurance doesn’t cover the cost, and finding fertility specialists knowledgeable and respectful of trans identities and health care may also be a challenge, depending on where you live. Your nearest Planned Parenthood health center may have info on good providers in your area. You can also ask the doctor or nurse you visit for HRT about your next steps and trans-friendly fertility specialists near where you live.

In the meantime, it’s a good idea for your partner to have a pre-pregnancy check up.

Best of luck!

-Emily at Planned Parenthood

[that-pansexual-feminist]

✨ ABORTION IS A VALID OPTION PASS IT ON ✨

[plannedparenthood]

Celebrate boyhood

How to Raise a Feminist Son

By CLAIRE CAIN MILLER and illustrations by AGNES LEE

via the New York Times

[guys-positivity]

I hope pregnant trans men are doing ok. I hope that them and their children are healthy and I really want them to know that having babies isn’t just a thing for women, and that their gender is still valid. Your kid will love you regardless of your gender identity, don’t worry about it. I hope they have a safe, healthy birth with no complications and that they recover from it well.

[transguysuggestions]

Trans men who want kids are still men. Trans men who get pregnant are still men Trans men who try to get pregnant because they want children and their partner can’t carry are still men Trans men who don’t discover that they’re men until after they already have kids are still men.

Wanting to or choosing to have kids doesn’t invalidate your gender.

[taosnipple]

Parents who aren’t cishet are so strong. People who give birth or carry a child and aren’t women are unbelievably brave and capable. Nonbinary parents are incredible and just as capable of raising a child of any gender. Mothers whose partner carried their child are so beautiful and amazing. Same/similar gender parents are fantastic and loving and able to be just as awesome as different gender parents. Fathers who carried their baby are unbelievably awesome dads. Parents who have a surrogate baby for any reason are just as much their child’s parent as they would be if they had/had been able to have the child just between them. Parents who adopt are so beautiful and kind and are the parent that the child needed, and are just as worthy as parents who don’t adopt. LGBTQ+ parents are the best and nothing will ever convince me otherwise.

[vaspider]

Here’s to the non-binary adults trying to deal with the fact that they can’t be out at work.

Here’s to the non-binary adults who can’t even try to be out with their parents because they’re trying to keep things ok for the grandkids.

Here’s to the non-binary adults who say “Oh it’s ok, I’m used to gender-specific binary pronouns” and die a little inside.

Here’s to the non-binary adults who have learned not to care.

Here’s to the non-binary adults who really don’t care about pronouns.

Here’s to the non-binary adults who have to gender-binary themselves for PTA meetings and talking to business owners and government officials.

Here’s to the non-binary adults who feel lost and without community because so much of the vocal and out enby community is very young.

Here’s to the non-binary adults who don’t feel welcome in the trans community and aren’t part of the cis community.

Here’s to the non-binary adults who feel guilty about calling themselves trans because they don’t “feel trans enough” or that they don’t deserve to call themselves trans.

Here’s to the non-binary adults who don’t identify as trans without any guilt about it at all.

Conditional Acceptance is like living on a high wire every day, and “passing privilege” is a painful myth, one that can leave us feeling miserable and crushed and empty.

Love yourself and honor that living in the closet isn’t a privilege. It hurts, and it’s ok that it hurts. You didn’t do anything wrong, the world did.

[stevonnie-archive]

poly cool kids in poly colors!!! :’)

[sashayed]

we asked this child at a baby shower what his favorite nature fact or scientific property was and he wrote “EMTROPY”

[naturalhairqueens]

little natural beauties

[rowanshrub]

walking through Walgreens and just feeling disappointed and a lil horrified.

[queerparentpractice]

This is such destructive socialization. The regularity with which I see these and similarly gendered phrases that go the extra mile by supporting control the sexuality of female-assumed children and the agresive sexualization of male-assumed kids is sickening. I feel like these narratives give children zero autonomy and perpetuate unhealthy relationships with sex.

[askthefamilyoflove]

Happy Mothers Day!

[namiharinezumi]

810 流れ星

a shooting star

[queerparentpractice]

Hedgehogs are forever changed because of this amazing little demi-girl I have in my life.

[naturalhairqueens]

This is so cute and adorable!

[plannedparenthood]

Our new survey data is clear:

Most people have not received any education about what consent is, what it looks like, or how to do it. This needs to change. 

Education about consent is sexual assault prevention.

[sallymolay]

Real Live Trans Adults

After Leelsh Alcorn’s suicide, Oakland-based comedian Red Durkin started the hashtag #RealLiveTransAdult (top image above) to show transgender people afraid of coming out that there is hope and an abundance of possibilities.

Hundreds went online to share their stories (above). This is no longer news, but these tweets are so powerful and the message so important, I’ll share them anyway.