You Can't Stop Me

This is an AU Wally West blog. He's not the good, fun-loving Wally everyone else knows and loves. He was taken from Barry at a young age and watched his mentor die at his feet. That can change a person...[Please read his bio]

[quickandpainless]

Are you gonna do anything for Father's Day now that your dad's a robot?

[His stomach does a flip and he’s honestly not sure what to say.  Maybe if he ignores it, it’ll just go away.]

[quickandpainless]

alchemic-elements‌:

   “Oh Wally… You’re only saying that because you don’t know any better.” He put his hands on the Speedster’s shoulders, 

   “I wasn’t good…  If I was good then I wouldn’t have been spending my time with disreputable thieves. If I was good, I wouldn’t have ever hurt you. If I was good then I wouldn’t have driven you into the arms of that monster from space…”

  “…. It was my fault… Because of what I did to you when I was angry…. With a horrifying father figure like me, it’s no wonder you mistook such that terrible creature as benevolent…“  Al smiled, “Even now after everything he did…You still have his robes folded under your bed…  And you still live with me, after all I have done.”  

   Al stared off into space quietly…  and then, “You have always made me very happy, Wally. I should have never let anything like that happen….”

Wally’s eyes widened more and more with every word.  Every instinct was telling him to get away.  Not that he thought Albert would hurt him.  It was just so...unsettling.  So wrong.

“W-why would you say you were h-horrible?  You’re the only...Albert I wouldn’t be h-here without you...You were th-the only one who cared....”  

His heart hurt and his eyes burned but there weren’t any tears left in him at this point.  Wally wished he could explain how he felt.  How Albert unintentionally hurt those around him by destroying himself.  How he never would have wished for this no matter how many hardships they went though.  How he wished they would have talked more about all this before things got to this point.

But the words just wouldn’t come.

“....I-...I’d like to go to bed now...”

[quickandpainless]

alchemic-elements‌:

“I did that… for us. I did this-  for us….” 

  “I may not be happy… I’m not unhappy either… That was the point. Because I wasn’t happy… before.” He looked down, “Sure there were good times… but I was lonely and frustrated and sad. I kept Scudder around because he made me feel less like that- even though you two hate him. So I was selfish too… All these things just exacerbated the problem.”

   “… I was beginning to worry that… I couldn’t be all that you two needed from me. Perfect patient father, Needless lover…. always there… always smiling… I tried- it hurt… I was trying so hard… But-”

   “It wasn’t good enough- he got out.” 

   Albert’s soft smile grew and he put his hands up by his face, “But I cut out his eyes, and his tongue. And now I’m perfect.“

   “I’ll never hurt anyone again… I can be anything you need. I can get a real job too… I don’t need Scudder to pay me to help him anymore… This is a good thing.”

“I didn’t...I d-didn’t know you w-were so....unhappy.  But...but w-we....you were good enough.  You were...everything.”  

Wally wrapped his arms around himself.

“I wish...I wish I could have m-made you happier...I n-never wanted...Just because I d-didn’t like Sam...You...”

He grabbed handfuls of his shirt, getting frustrated with himself.  

“...I don’t know...I don’t know about this...”

[quickandpainless]

alchemic-elements‌:

Al stopped and turned around, “….What made you think I don’t care about you?”

Wally tried to sink back a bit more but already had his back pressed against his bedroom door.

“...Because you did this to yourself.  Because you threw your f-friend away.  You’re....you’re not happy....I thought you’d be happy to come back...”

[quickandpainless]

alchemic-elements‌:

“I know.”

  “I said what I had to. Scudder worries for me too much, and the days of being a detriment to people around me are over. And besides, you and Julian never approved much of him anyways. And I am no longer sad to cut him out of my life- for the better.”

   He put his hand on his son’s shoulder and smiled softly, “I’m sorry you had to see that… But hopefully he won’t be back to bother us anymore. Good night, Wally.”

“......”

Just say it.  Do it before he walks away.  Hopefully it wouldn’t ruin everything.

“...I don’t like you like this.  It’s not for the better.  Y-you’re not better.  You s-said you did it for us but now it’s....it’s like you don’t-...or can’t care about us at all....”

He couldn’t look up from the floor.  It hurt too much.

“I w-wanted you to come back...but you didn’t...”

[quickandpainless]

samscudder‌:

alchemic-elements‌:

Sam’s vulgarity didn’t faze Albert in the slightest. 

  “You can go to bed, Wally.” he assuaged, keeping his eyes on Sam.

  “I would endure far worse if it kept my family safe. If it kept that monster within me at bay…. I cannot simply vanish into the wilderness anymore. I’m the head of this household, I have responsibilities to others aside from myself.”

  He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts, “All they need from me is stability. My wants and cares are of little concern, unless it’s for them. I don’t want to be selfish anymore, I’ve felt more stable than I ever have. In my life.”

  “Honestly, I should have done this years ago. But I was afraid to lose myself… And now-  I’m not afraid of anything.”

  Al raised his finger and gazed down at the Mirror Master, pointing in the direction of the stairs.

   “There are ways to remind myself without relying on you.  I can make notes. I can use my phone.” Though his words were harsh, his voice was calm, eyes calm. So very calm.

  “Please leave my house, Sam. Every time you’re here, you’re disruptive. Please don’t come back tomorrow. Please don’t come back… at all.”

“……”

  “…. That hurts, Chum.”  Sam just stood there and slowly crossing one arm over the other with a dispassionate stare.

   Honestly what else could he say. Sam is enraged. Anger sizzling in the pit of his belly like a fucking fire. But what was the point in lashing out after all that? What the hell could he do? Beat the Alchemist into fixing himself? Sam knows that won’t work, but boy… he could really punch this guy right now.

   After a terse silence, Scudder turned and walked down the stairs as he was told- only to pause halfway down. He didn’t turn around, but-

  “It’s no wonder Alvin wants to get away from you so bad… If I hated myself as much as you did, I’d wanna crawl out of my skin too.”

   And with that he was gone.

Wally’s eyes went wide.  He opened his mouth to protest Sam leaving but he was honestly at a loss for words.  Albert had been friends with the man longer than Wally had known either of them.  He couldn’t remember ever hearing the alchemist say those words.

It wasn’t until Sam left that he finally spoke up with a quiet voice.

“Wh-....why would you say that?  H-he...you’re his friend.  He was...he tried really hard to get you back...”

[quickandpainless]

samscudder‌:

alchemic-elements‌:

Al put his hand up in his son’s direction, in an attempt to sooth him “It’s okay, Wally.” 

   “I said… I could fix myself… if I wanted to.”

What the heck was the speedster apologizing fo-  oh nevermind.

   Sam folded his fingers tightly into his palms. glaring “… Then how about you do it…. Or are you saying you want someone to remind you to wipe your damn ass every day?”

He wanted to leave.  They’d been caught and Wally couldn’t shake that ‘in trouble’ feeling.  It made him feel sick.

“S-Sam....”  He wanted to think of a clever lie to signal to Sam that they’d talk later and if he were more clever perhaps he would.  But everything that came to mind sounded too obvious.

“Um...it’s...it’s late...”

[quickandpainless]

samscudder‌:

alchemic-elements‌:

  Albert spat into the sink and turned to stare at the pair of squatting molecular masses convening right across the hallway. 

  The doctor rinsed his mouth out once more for good measure and dried his face with a towel before simply opening the bathroom door.

  “There’s no need for any of that.” He held the robe close to himself to stave off the chill, gazing down at the pair with dead eyes. “I’m perfectly capable of ‘fixing’ myself… If I wanted to.”

   “AGH!” After experiencing the minor cardiac arrest when the Alchemist suddenly burst in on their secret rendezvous and… asserted himself. Thankfully in a robe. His words couldn’t quite… sink in.

  “….. What did you just say?” Sam turned his head, slowly standing up.

Wally stood abruptly and met his door with a thump as his back pressed into it.  His eyes drilled holes into the floor as he started to fiddle with the hem of his shirt.

“....S-sorry...”

[quickandpainless]

samscudder‌:

“What other choice do we have? That…. machinery. When I stole it from that alien. It fixed me. My eyes… even my damn dairy allergy.”

  The muted hissing of shower water stopped from behind them and Sam glanced backwards. After a few minutes he could hear the sink turn on followed by vigorous tooth-brushing. 

  “There has to be something there still- something we can use. I mean hell- that monster managed to appear from practically nothing!” 

Wally thought about it and the more he did the more twisted his stomach got.  But Sam seemed so hopeful about it.  Maybe they could...

The white noise from the shower went silent and he froze, looking wide eyed at the bathroom door.  When did didn’t open, the speedster relaxed a bit and glanced up at the rogue.

“....He doesn’t come along.  He c-can’t.  Albert should have never gone there in the first place....”

[quickandpainless]

samscudder‌:

   “…I know how you feel…”  Sam felt so heavy watching Wally curl up on the floor. It didn’t take him a lot to join him down there.

  “He’s still… doing a lot. He’s– the house! It’s clean! And he made some changes cause he thought maybe it was for the best- oh I don’t know.” Fine whatever- the doctor don’t care, he’s gonna friggen smoke.

  “The things that he hates about himself aren’t even that crazy! He likes to smoke and drink and fuck and it’s all fucking normal! But he can’t stand it- he can’t stand that he’s not perfect! Nobody’s perfe-”

  Sam stopped himself mid-sentence and his face fell.

  “God….”

  His eyes got huge and he suddenly gripped Wally’s shoulder “….W- We can fix this… Wally- Desaad-  Zulifikaar.”

  Thoughts were coming so fast he couldn’t get them all out right away- he just stared at the speedster with wide-eyes, hoping he’d understand.

The speedster was nearing a shutdown.  Everything felt so knotted up and jumbled.  Processing his feelings and handling stressful situations was difficult enough already.  Now it felt like there was a tornado inside of him and he couldn’t stop it.

Then there was a hand on his shoulder and suddenly he was back in the hallway, sitting in front of his bedroom.

“Wh-...I...I don’t know...I don’t think Albert should go back there...”

[quickandpainless]

samscudder‌:

Oh god… When the kid started with the water-works, Sam felt his eyes start to sting.

   “I don’t…   I don’t know…” He rubbed the back of his hand over his face with a sniff, “He- did this to himself… I don’t think- he really wants to come back, kid.”

  Sam crossed his arms and stared down at the floor. He can’t handle the look on the speedster’s face. Boy- how to even explain it. “Y’know- your dad. He really h- dislikes… himself. He can’t accept the fact that he’s not… Normal.”

   The Mirror Master glanced upwards, “I think maybe he just wanted to be a better Father- a better boyfriend. All-around person. And so he tried to fix himself. That’s all…”

  It was kind of lame, but it was the best he could come up with on the spot. “Okay?”

Wally’s face distorted in disbelief as Sam spoke.  It hurt to hear and it was hard to process.  His heart was racing as he tried to sift through a million jumbled up thoughts and feelings.  Tears were flowing freely down his face and he tried to talk through hitched breaths.

“I d-don’t like m-me either but I would’t...leave him.  I tr- I tried to be normal and it...Albert was-  Albert was always- He did everything for me.  I wouldn’t be here-re....”  

The speedster’s breathing picked up more.

“I m-messed up so m-much.  If I hadn’t b-been so-....s-stupid.  Des-saad wouldn’t have...and it wouldn’t have happened the first time...and-and I sh-should have...but now he’s not coming back.  I just didn’t w-want...I lost him...”

Wally sank down, knees up to his chest, arms wrapped around his middle.

“....I don’t feel good...”

[quickandpainless]

samscudder‌:

“Oh… Well somebody else noticed, that’s comforting.” Sam crossed his arms and glanced over his shoulder at the bathroom, shower-sounds still buzzing mutely.

   Wait-  what now?  “You want me to stay…? I thought you and I- Well… Don’t play nice.”

Wally finally looked up at Sam, eyes welling up with tears.  

“I just-”  Everything that had hurt so much over the past several months was finally started to spill over. 

“I just wanted my dad back and I th-thought...”  Hot tears stung at his eyes and down his cheeks.  The speedster kept his voice low.  From his time with Alvin to now the redhead hadn’t talked much.  It felt like if he spoke too loud he might shatter.

“It’s been really lonely.  I w-wouldn’t do anything to you.  Even if you yell at me.  I won’t.  I promise.  I-...”

He wiped his eyes and looked at the bathroom door, voice growing even quieter.

“....He’s not coming back...is he?”

[quickandpainless]

samscudder‌:

  “Hey!”  He came back- good-  Sam put his hands up- not wanting to scare the ginger off. “Heyy…”

   “I won’t keep you up- I just was wonderin’ if maybe you could….” He clears his throat, “Uh- make sure you dad eats? Y’know- something… Anything. Just float it by him tomorrow some time around lunch maybe?”

Wally deflated a little bit.  He’d spent months without Al and now that he was back...well he wasn’t really back.  Sam was answered with a nod.

“Will he-...”  His voice cracked and he cleared his throat.  “Will he always be like this now?  I thought...”

“W-Will you s...stay for a while?”

[quickandpainless]

samscudder replied to your post “Wally stepped out of his bedroom.  It was odd to hear activity at this...”

Sam turned from the bathroom door, only after he heard the shower turn on. He came around just in time to see Wally's bedroom door shut and he blinked, "Hey kid!- ah...."

Oh.  Spotted after all.  

After a short moment, the bedroom door opened enough for Wally to walk back out.  Albert wasn’t there anymore which, it made him sick to think, but it was a bit of a relief.  He’d been so distant and blank ever since getting back. Like a husk. Or a doll.

Green eyes still focused on the floor, he pulled the door shut behind himself to lean up against it.  

“H-...hello...”

[quickandpainless]

Wally stepped out of his bedroom.  It was odd to hear activity at this hour.  Albert was usually quiet as a mouse...all the time now.

He froze when he saw Sam with Al.  The kid looked like a deer in the headlights until he set his eyes to the ground.  Just pretend to be invisible.

Without a word, he backed back into his room.

[quickandpainless]

Oh Sam was here.  The house had been so quiet since things had gone back to normal.  Albert had been so quiet...

But maybe this would be what he needed.  They were close.  Sam could fix...whatever it was.

[quickandpainless]

puppyrogue‌:

   ….I don’t know the answer.

[He turns to leave.]

You have a way to contact someone.  I don’t think you’re stupid either...so don’t let yourself die.