LuAnn: They're French. Of COURSE they eat hamsters!

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@quiteaquoteboard
LuAnn: They're French. Of COURSE they eat hamsters!
LuAnn: You know, there used to be a Borders in this mall! It was great, because the Borders was downstairs, and then you could go upstairs to the coffee and pastry shop. And it was right by the gym, so you could sit there and watch the people working out, and eat your pastry in front of them. And I did.
Wandering down an extremely steep trail at the arboretum
LuAnn: The azaleas are tempting us onward! Ashley: You know, this is how the faeries get you.
*Looking at the creek behind the diner*
Ashley: Look at the light on the water!
LuAnn: I wanna put a rubber alligator in there.
Ashley: .....There are 2 kinds of people.
LuAnn: Harriton Graveyard does have a ghost. He was stolen out of his family burial ground and reburied there. Because he was a Revolutionary War veteran, and they wanted to advertise, like, "Be buried with a Revolutionary War veteran!"
Ashley: If you can't make your own Revolutionary War veteran, store-bought is fine.
(Looking at Bryn Mawr College's coat of arms:)
LuAnn: Bryn Mawr's colors are yellow and white. Because fuck the pope. And also heraldry.
Ash: What's that flower?
Jen: I think it's a forget-me-not. But I'm not sure.
Ash: ...You mean you FORGOT? Jen, you had ONE JOB. ONE JOB, JEN.
Ash: So, LuAnn and I want to plan a celebration!
Jen, eyes wide: WHAT HAPPENED????
Ash: uh----
Jen: DID TRUMP DIE??!!!???
Ash: No, dimwit, it's your birthday this weekend!
Jen: Oh. Right.
Ash: If you have a baby in IKEA, does it get dual citizenship with Sweden?
Callie: You have to name it after the piece of furniture you had it on.
Callie: "This is my son, *unintelligible Swedish noises*."
Ash: a friend in the witchy realm just messaged me like, "do you know how crystals work? can you teach me?" and i was like, "No, I don't really know much about crystals," and then ended up writing an entire book to her in messages about how crystals are supposed to work lolol
Diane: Is this the most "you" on-brand message you’ve ever shared in our chat
Diane: I say with the most love and appreciation
[I gave my Chicano friend a cutesy little beaded bracelet that says "Chinga la Migra"]
Tony: They'll be chasing me for it! I'll tell them, "No speako Espanol. I don't know what it says! A sweet little girl at church made it for me!"
Diane: I’m watching the second of two twin flames universe docuseries
Diane: And I gotta say, the nerve of claiming to be the second coming of Jesus AND being insulted about being called a cult
Jen: He was a wild child.
Callie: He was a rake!
LuAnn: More like a shovel.
Diane: I think I girl bossed too close to the sun.
Aimee: I just got the title "Spore Queen". And I don't think I want it.
Ash: Do you ever wonder what it's like to be another person? Like what exactly is someone else seeing? Or feeling?
Callie: Most of the time, I just want to know what you're smelling.
Ash: I want to know what I'm smelling.
Diane: Just like have we ever learned anything (okay, okay, aside from his stance on the British theft of Greek artifacts) good about Byron?
Ashley: i mean, he was good to the greeks? tho i think they probably thought he was a dead-ass CLOWN
Diane: This is honestly their fave type of Englishman, I suspect
Like the trolling of Arthur Evans by his workmen
Evidenced by the bs he published
“Oh this spider is so deadly, one bite will kill a man!”
Just the workmen having a laugh about the fucking giant (have seen twice irl) spiders on Crete
Like softball sized
One was on our hotel room ceiling when we didn’t know they’d left the balcony door open when they cleaned
Ashley: nope nope nope
Diane: Eventually a Greek man from the bar below came up and got it for us
Picked it up with his hand
A patron, not an employee
It’s a horrific and great story to tell
Ashley: there is a reason why the word "arachnaphobia" has a greek etymology...
Diane: Unsurprisingly they’re “harmless”
Aka, not venomous
I’m guessing a bite would at minimum fucking hurt
And also the trauma of their existence being perceived
Ashley: i'm sorry, but the heart attack i would have would NOT be harmless.
Diane: Neither of us was okay
We briefly lost track of it and the girl in the next room was like, well it’s gone now, so you’re fine, right?
No, Florence
It’s MISSING IN OUR ROOM
we are very not fine
Ashley: the shortest horror story in the world is five words: "where did the spider go???"
Diane: And then we found it again and Florence went to get a Greek man while Leanna and I stared at it with all of our being
And then had to like calm the fuck down to sleep once it was gone and the balcony was closed
I have never been more okay with being the entertainment of Greek men at a taverna as that time