quote list: things i've heard with my own two ears

quotes from friends, D&D campaigns, uni, etc. one quote a day at around noon CST

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if you ever quote me, i'll sue you for copyright

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every time you get hard, you choke to death and die

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x: babe are you high y: maybe hehe how did you know? x: there is no way you would send me family guy clips while sober

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thank you, i'll be here all night ….. … *quietly* cuz i live here….

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doobie? like from weed?

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i'm sorry, arfid is eating my ass

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anyways BRRRRRRRRRR

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duck rhymes with no

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i'm not a simp for wanting my girlfriends to breastfeed me

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damn, girl. you're like my carbon monoxide detector the way you yell at me always and tell me that there is an environmental hazard making me think insane thoughts

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get rinsed, liberal

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you know that song "my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard"? i am one of the many boys

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9/11 tramp stamp?!?

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x: i have more than $100 y: and yet, you still haven't bought an inflatable pool we're never going to use, i don't know how you do it

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she puff on my in 'til i bird

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your crocs are so cute! are you disabled?

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don't worry, my cervix can be massaged in other ways