The Umbrella Academy

another incorrect quotes blog. enjoy! submit/message a quote with a source & i’ll post it!

[quotesfromthehargreeves]

Cha Cha: Oh, look, a pigeon.

Hazel: That’s a mourning dove. You IDIOT!

creds: @that-one-hyperfixation

[quotesfromthehargreeves]

Five: I am going to strangle you!

Luther: You can’t even reach my neck.

Five, hissing: You’ve sunk low enough for me to reach.

[quotesfromthehargreeves]

Ben: Why do I get called The Horror? And Diego gets The Kraken? By all rights, he should be the horror, I mean, have you ever smelled his feet?

Diego: Hey!

creds: @ninjathrowingstork

[quotesfromthehargreeves]

Klaus: Seriously, I’m a handful.

Dave, excitedly: I have two hands!

[quotesfromthehargreeves]

Five: Luther dies in Plan M.

Diego: I like Plan M.

creds: @h-lew

[quotesfromthehargreeves]

Diego: I found his credit card statement. There's a charge for a restaurant called La Palapa. Two entrees. One flan.

Klaus: One flan?

Diego: One flan.

Klaus: That's cold.

Luther: Yeah. Cold. I'm so confused.

Both: They shared the flan!

[quotesfromthehargreeves]

Allison: Hey, Diego. Saw you hadn't signed up for the blood drive yet, so I brought you the sheet.

Diego: Sorry, can't. (reading the sign-up sheet) I'm under 17 years old.

[quotesfromthehargreeves]

Klaus: Right, that's the guy you said the lame stuff about. Like he's a good listener.

Allison: Sorry, what do you look for in a guy?

Klaus: Real stuff, like the shape of his ass.

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Allison: Talk to him, that's what friends do.

Diego: Nope. I'm gonna wait 'til I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.

Allison: That's your plan for dealing with this?

Diego: That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have seventy-seven arguments I'm going to win that way.

[quotesfromthehargreeves]

SUBMISSIONS OPEN!

if you have any quotes you’d like to submit, please feel free to do so! also, my ask box is open if you wanna rant, give your opinion, or just talk about the show!

[quotesfromthehargreeves]

SUBMISSIONS OPEN!

if you have any quotes you’d like to submit, please feel free to do so! also, my ask box is open if you wanna rant, give your opinion, or just talk about the show!

[kilyra]

Like a Boy Scout

Diego Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) One-Shot

A/N: I received a request from a lovely Anon for a nice little Diego story where the reader is patching up minor injuries. So…

When Diego turns up at your place with an open head wound, you are less that impressed with him. And yet, you still end up helping

Warnings: Spoiler-free and a minor swear word. 

If you want to be on my tag lists, (all or just a character) just let me know!

When you got a text from Diego in the middle of the night, you were expecting it was a booty call..which immediately pissed you off. Where’s the respect?

But when he asked if you had a first aid kit, your anger moved to confusion and a little concern. And then, when he soon showed up bruised and bleeding from the head…you wished it was just a booty call.

“Really? You drove like that?” The words spilled out as soon as you opened the door.

Frowning, he shrugged. “Yeah. I’m fine, I just need you to clean it up.”

Shoving a first aid kit into your hands, he sauntered into your apartment, brushing against your shoulder as he passed. You hadn’t given him much room to come in because you weren’t convinced you wanted him to, but a shiver still ran down your spine from the brief contact.

Keep reading

[quotesfromthehargreeves]

Grace: I mean, it’s one banana, Pogo. What could it cost? Ten dollars?

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Five: I just found out that my cellular telephone was a lemon.

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Luther: finds a bag with ‘’DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!’’ in the fridge

Luther: looks in the bag

Luther: I don’t know what I expected.

[quotesfromthehargreeves]

Vanya: Tell me the truth, okay? Because there’s been a lot of lying in this family.

Pogo: and a lot of love.

Vanya: More lies.

[quotesfromthehargreeves]

Acelin: Thanks, mom... Why is everyone staring at me?

Korra: You just called Nine mom; you said thanks, mom.

Acelin: What? No, I didn't. I said thanks, man.

Nine: Do you see me as a mother figure, Acelin?

Acelin: No, if anything, I see you as a bother figure, 'cause you're always bothering me.

Angelou: Hey, show your mother some respect.

Acelin: I didn't call her mom.

Nine: No, no. Acelin, I take it as a compliment.

Suspect: Well, you did call her mom, dude.

Acelin: You shut up. You've done nothing but lie since you got here.

Suspect: Okay, I was lying about the hold-up, but the mommy thing, that happened.

Acelin: Ah-ha. He admitted the alibi was a lie. All part of my crazy, devious plan.

Nine: I believed you-

Acelin: Thank you.

Nine: -son. You want to talk about it later over a game of catch?

Acelin: ... I'd like that.

@askthe43