Sade Olutola
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trying on a metaphor
Game of Thrones Daily
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Origami Around
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Today's Document
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blake kathryn
Noah Kahan
cherry valley forever
Not today Justin
Misplaced Lens Cap
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DEAR READER
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❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
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@westbrookwestbooks
so you think you can stone miette and spit in miette’s eye?? so you think you can love miette and leave miette to DIE?? oh mother!! can’t do this to me mother!!!
All memes left on tumblr for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Queen
Cetaganda
Etiquette Expert: Welcome to Genetic Engineering and Complicated Protocol Planet! The social rules about sex here are soooo complex, but that's never gonna come up because they're too xenophobic to mess with offworlders.
Himbo Cousin Ivan: Bet.
Himbo Cousin Ivan proceeds to get drugged with a floppy dick drug and then, by losing at sex, win at sex so comprehensively that he is flooded with illicit invitations for the duration of the adventure.
Meanwhile our buddy Miles is swooning in unrequited infatuation for 90% of the women he sees and simultaneously playing 4D chess against both murderous adversaries and his own allies, thus averting several different possible interplanetary crises through the power of reckless scheming.
Hay-on-Wye, the UK's bookshop town.
Reading Dungeon Crawler Carl be like:
We love a good bookstore ✨
Yes I know you mistrust the banks, milord, and I don't blame you, but their Vault Wizards are specially trained to prevent dragons from detecting large amounts of gold. I cannot emphasize enough that it's a full-time job employing multiple specialists, I'm not trying to be humble here but it's not something that just the court magician and I can set up a couple wards for on the weekends and call it good.
It's, it's just that dragons are the primordial embodiment of avarice wrought into fire and flesh. They are truly, supernaturally good at finding large amounts of valuables, that's why the big mines hire those Dragon Scouts to go sniff out their lairs and mark them on the maps as potential mining ventures. You know, in case someone slays the relevant dragon. Which doesn't happen often because, milord, they are simply not that easily slain.
No I know you've hired many knights, blooded warriors and true. Yes, I was there when you gave the ten most impressive ones their special sashes. Very grand, very high honors, of course. Ehm. It's just, none of them have ever actually faced a dragon. Yes no I know Sir Edbert says he did but Sir Edbert is rather notoriously prone to exaggerated and tragically unverifiable tales---
Well no milord of course I would not doubt the word of a sworn knight. Perhaps his sobriety, but not his word, as such.
The point is that the grand treasury, while surely grand and a very special notion, is just... it is mayhaps not the ideal way of handling the realm's finances? Perhaps a series of smaller vaults, capped well below the dangerous wealth threshold at which gold is known to whet the appetite of colossal winged harbingers of death, in different corners of the realms or...?
No, I, yes well I do realize that will impede anyone's interests in coming into the vault to hurl around the gold coins and go "whee, I'm so rich!" I am aware of its deficiencies as a plan in that regard. No, I see I've misjudged a few things.
Actually, thinking on it, milord, I truly believe what you need is a fresh set of skilled wizards on this job. The court magician and I, we cannot keep up with your visionary thinking. We're too old-fashioned. But the wizards revolutionizing the eldritch academies seem to be more on this sort of level. I hear they've made some truly remarkable choices in terms of outsourcing all of their spellwork to the Ever-Whispering Void, such that it takes mere minutes for them to set up an entire defensive array. That's just the sort of innovative thinking you require.
Though it will grieve the court magician and I to leave your service, perhaps this is a sign that retirement is overdue. So I'll just... be moving further away from the big pile of gold... in the opulent, dome-shaped building with the crystal skylight... best wishes.
Time to move on from the “stop using official Patrol channels to bother your siblings!!” fics for the Batfamily.
May I suggest instead, “stop using random click commands to bother your siblings!” and it’s just Nightwing and Spoiler on patrol hitting “assistance assistance assistance” on their molar clips so it pops up in their comms AND their lenses, and of course there’s the occasional “down down down” when Bruce does something they don’t like and they click “terminate (chase)” whenever Red Hood shows up because it’s hilarious to try and guess what his face is doing AND it’s a dead brother joke all in one.
Alfred’s back in the cave getting “pitstop. pitstop. pitstop question?” because the kids want food after and Bruce is grinding his teeth so hard he breaks the clips because all of his teeth are implants at this point and there’s no click command for “shut the fuck up” other than “opsec opsec opsec” which just encourages them.
Barbara has her own click clips because they’re useful for multitasking, Cass loves spelling out full words with her clips and gets fluent fast, meanwhile Tim has them on all his molars and promptly chips a tooth whenever he tries to use them, Damian needs braces before they fit properly on his teeth and is handling that about as well as you can guess, and Duke loves them because he can decline every single sibling message unless it’s a priority alert.
Except one day, Duke gets hit in the mouth so hard, the clips all short out in his mouth. Instead of groaning about the sparks (Bruce is already working on a better model) Duke feeds them a little and smiles at whoever hit him with a bloody, sparking mouth, and promptly wins “most badass fight” on the sibling board (eh) but then gets Bruce’s praise for not leaving the clips (and the teeth) behind even if they regenerate.
Which is all to say: Batfamily testing is the kind of stress testing corporations pay millions for.
apparently u can't add polls to posts from 12 years ago so i'm screenshotting it
what "level" are you
egg
hatchling
baby dragon
dragon
still a dragon
mega dragon
super hella dragon
UNHOLY OFFSPRING OF LIGHTNING AND DEATH
oh my fucking god
MY NAME, IS FRICKIN MOON MOON. I’D BE THE MOST IDIOTIC WOLF. ‘OH SHIT WHO BROUGHT FUCKING MOON MOON ALONG?’
the post that started it all
oh god
Never not reblogging.
I’ve only seen this post in screenshots
I’m very surprised this post hasn’t broken a million.
#mine would be fuckin ALPHA WOLF #that’s it we’re done pack it up everyone
pack it up, you say
*sobs hysterically in former teenaged wolf girl*
New Vorkosigan saga crack theory I just came up with:
Ezar made Aral Regent to prevent him from turning the Empire into a democracy.
Yes, I know Cordelia views Aral as more conservative than he thinks he is, but let's review what people think who a) are not from a radically different society and b) have actually known the guy for more than two weeks.
Padma doesn't just say that Aral was more progressive than his father, but that he was "getting... um... strange" and that once you loosened him up "he'd be declaiming revolution in iambic pentameter"*
While Piotr tries to reassure Vordarian that "[his] son will not betray his class" (betray how?), he also straight up says that "he's picked up some damned peculiar radical notions" and doesn't contest Cordelia's description of him as "a revolutionary", merely stating that Aral doesn't view himself that way... but that he'll end up "riding a tiger" if he doesn't commit one way or the other.**
Evon Vorhalas tells his brother that there's nothing secret about Aral's progressivism and "some of the senior Vor officers are scared to death of him"-- not the enlisted men or the ministry lackeys like the one he killed. The other Vor.
And of course Vordarian's coup was partially motivated by the fear of what Aral would do as Regent.
But what did Ezar think?
Ezar lays out everything that makes Aral right for the Regency, against several counter-suggestions of Aral's: rank, age, service, popularity***, being "ruthless enough to hold near-absolute power... and honest enough to hand over that power" to Gregor in the end. We usually read that as "honest enough to hand over that power instead of keeping it for himself", but what if it means "honest enough to keep that power invested in the Emperor", instead of doing something else with it? After all, Ezar points out that Aral genuinely doesn't want to be emperor. Honesty is not required.
Aral doesn't want to be Emperor-- but he leaps at the chance to be Regent and then Prime Minister. "It's the chance of a lifetime. Yes, I want it... I think I could turn down almost any other offer without a blink." He says he wants "to find some way of pulling the best men, from every class and language group and party... make the government... with ability promoted regardless of background"
He suggests both elevating a commoner to Regent and abolishing the Vor class to Ezar's face. And Ezar's response is to comment that Aral always gives him his true opinion. Ezar clearly knows about Aral's political views and does not consider them disqualifying-- indeed, if he wanted someone conservative in the role, he had a number of choices-- but just as clearly he wants his grandson (and no other) to follow him as Emperor.
But Ezar's arguments hinge not on what Aral wants, on what he could accomplish, or any other inducements, but on a) his being the best man for the job, b) his earnest desire to avoid the campstool (by safeguarding it for someone else) and c) an emotional appeal to his honor, that the Regent would be "whatever individual can be persuaded to stand by [Gregor and Kareen] in their hour of need".
Aral says the dire 'what-if' is the same thing Ezar used to send him to Escobar-- but just like Escobar, the argument works. Aral accepts the duty, on his honor.
And the oath he takes as Regent clearly means more than just ensuring Barrayar's, or Gregor's, wellbeing. Aral takes it as a commitment to the form of government as well. Aral himself says, of becoming Regent and constitutional parties, "That is just the sort of thing I will be sworn, on my honor, to prevent. It would not fulfill the spirit of my oath to hand over to Prince Gregor an emperorship gutted of power."
Ezar chained Aral to Gregor and the campstool with his sense of duty, forcing him to find a balance between his progressive ideals and Barrayar's traditional government and power structure-- a struggle that defines the political conflicts in the Imperium for the rest of the series.
*Miles doesn't get it all from his mom lol
**Miles does indeed describe him as the "unshakeable tiger-rider" of Barrayaran politics in TVG.
***and of course being happily married (though I do wonder if Ezar added that one for other reasons, since Aral wasn't married when he hatched this plot)
Not to oversimplify a complex issue, but i think we could reduce the number of deadly car crashes by increasing wages and having shorter work weeks.
And making remote work a standard and accepted choice
So, I’ve been pulled over a few times in my life. Not many, but a few. And I’ve also been in a couple of cars that got pulled over. And let me tell you, if you were actually doing something wrong, the officer doesn’t make any small talk, just straight into “I clocked you doing 70 in a 55.” The only time I’ve ever gotten the “do you know why I pulled you over?” was the time when I wasn’t doing anything wrong, and I got let go even though he insisted to the end that I was doing 87 in a 70 (white privilege at work).
“Do you know why I pulled you over?” is a trap. It means there’s a good chance the officer doesn’t actually have a good reason to ticket you, and is trying to get you to waive your 5th Amendment rights and incriminate yourself. If you make a guess, that’s a confession of guilt.
But there’s another trap, that I’ve heard of but haven’t yet experienced. It’s “do you know how fast you were going?” With that one, they’re hoping you’ll say no, because then they can name whatever speed they want – you just said you didn’t know how fast you were going, if you deny the speed they name then you’re lying to them.
Oh, I’ve had that one. Go with “yes.” Don’t give them a number, just say “Yes.” Then they still have to offer a number and you can deny it without contradicting yourself. They could just ask you, at that point, but that’s suspiciously similar to saying they don’t know, and they tend to avoid doing that.
Reblog to save a life
if you scroll past this just because it doesn’t affect you personally, i see you.
Also, you can always go to court and contest a ticket, and a lot of times you’ll win. Or if the cop thinks you’ll win they won’t even show up and you’ll win by default.
They like to target out of state plates because anyone who would be majorly inconvenienced by a court date two months away is a lot more likely to just pay it.
I read etiquette and homemaking guides from the 1800s mostly because they're a FASCINATING insight into cultural norms that we often don't think about. I honestly really recommend people crack one of these open at least once--it goes way beyond, like, "what to wear to a ball!!!"
The best ones have advice on decor, how to select high-quality furniture, childrearing, fashion, etc--from a contemporary perspective, and the things the authors feel the need to clarify vs the wild shit that will just casually mention like it's something everyone knows and agrees on is REALLY revealing of the culture and how it's shifted.
And while a lot of the advice is WILDLY bigoted or just outright funny, you'd be surprised how much of it is...just genuinely timeless, and shockingly compassionate.
They ALSO, as a writer, have INVALUABLE resources--because, again, they're talking about things that are so MUNDANE that a lot of the time nobody really sat down to formally document what normal, everyday people thought or cared about--because that's boring! But a book written to provide advice and information to, say, a young woman who's never run her own home before? You can fully expect an entire chapter dedicated to The Types Of Oven, and which features are useful and worth spending money on, and which features are a huge hassle to clean and a waste of space, and what to spend that money on instead.
And like. As a writer who frequently works in the 1800s? Fuck inflation calculators, this is the kind of thing I need. This is absolutely priceless.
Now that being said.
My current favorite 'etiquette guide' in the world is actually like....70% purely practical advice, written by a gentleman the groupchat has affectionately dubbed History's Most Autistic Man In The World, and thank god they didn't have Aderall back then
Because the AuDHD is strong in this one and as a result, in addition to the deeply practical and useful everyday reference points, we also have:
Posting a link to my complete collection of DCC vines to mark the occasion of this video being stolen and reposted on tiktok without my permission lol. Does this mean that I made it?
more DCC doodles !!
[part 1] [part 2]
