“actually chat, can i tell you something that’s been on my mind lately?”
immediately, the audience spams encouraging words to kenma, who sighs to gain his composure before pausing his game and turning his attention completely to his audience, who clearly waits with anticipation for their streamer.
"so... as you guys know, uh... my wife-who i love very, very much, by the way- is one of the funniest people i know; i think she is by far one of the most witty and quick people to crack a joke, there's never not a time i'm not wheezing in laughter over something she says... however-" he cuts himself off to chuckle nervously, licking his lips and trying to make this as well-worded as possible. "she started doing this thing... and-and-and, i really want to make it clear that i love, love, love my wife... and now there's a video going around of my lovely, amazing wife, uh... asking me a question... and people are curious about it."
some of the comments on kenma's stream are flurries of concern.
others are full fledged "LMAOOOO"'s and laughing emoji's.
"chat, this is serious, it's not funny," he scolds, although he tries to hold in his laughter himself. "my wife... my wonderful wife... has started doing this thing, where she's asking my permission to do things."
now, the entire comments are full of laughter.
"it's not funny!" he cackles. "it stresses me out! like, okay, the other day-"
kenma's fandom can listen to him talk about you for hours, because they're so used to it from him.
kenma talks about you like a figure of divinity, someone who can do no wrongs (and even if, per chance, you are wrong, no you're not), someone he looks to for comfort and joys and delights and love.
"- and IN FRONT of the CASHIER, she asked me if it was okay if she ordered fries! like, are you serious, you freak! i'd buy the whole damn mcdonald's for you! what're you on about, can you have fries, like what the hell, man!"
he turns more feverish as his rant continues, "like the other day, kuroo asked if she wanted to grab coffee tomorrow morning with him and his wife, and she looked at me and goes, 'am i allowed to do that?' like what the heck!"
the whole chatroom is laughing.
down the hall, he hears you laughing.
further perpetuating the narrative that kozume kenma has the world's funniest wife.
thank you kuroosassscheeks for 1500 bits But you still technically did give her permission, kenma
"kuroo what are you talking about!" he groans. "she doesn't need my permission, my wife can do what she wants and i'll support her, just stop with the narrative that she needs permission to order a milk shake or if i can help her pay! please! my wife walks me like a dog, like-"
immediately interrupting his rant, kenma's phone buzzes to life, a faint 'pikachu!' text tone ringing in the air. his eyes scan his lock screen notifications, before his jaw slacks in betrayal.
"she just texted me.... asking if its okay if she comments... LIKE OF COURSE IT IS, STOP!!"
once again, the comments, his room, and his house erupt with laughter at your antics.
and he wouldn't have it any other way.
