Hello! This is not goodbye! However, this is a thank you! I've had this account for 5 years, and it's been extremely fun. I love writing, and I would be lying if I said I wouldn't return to write more and remain semi-active in fandoms.
It hurts because I basically "grew up" And I had so many memories with friends new and old but it's time to say....
This blog, will take a really big back seat... And I will no longer be writing.
I am sadly no longer able to work for big boy mental health reasons. Like something I'm not comfortable with sharing.
Ever since I've had many talks with my therapist about it, I've been thinking a lot, and honestly, it's been hard.
To help myself, And my family, and especially my dad who is trying his best to support me.
Like I said, this isn't a goodbye. Because I'll always be here lurking in the shadows like some cryptid, perhaps if the temptation is too much, I shall wiggle my way out of the ground through a fanfic and run.
I apologize that I must retire from writing to move on to somewhere else, but I hope you guys will support me on my new journey.
@notquitebunnie back at it again as I show appreciation for the person who is my model's mother.
Please if you have time thank her for this!
Lohen NSFW ALPHABET
Tw: NONCON!!! Drugging, kidnapping, marking, threats, degrading, intoxication, Knife play, blood play, sadism, masochism, power imbalance, improper use of poison, fear play, improper use of a crossbow, Lohen does not take consent seriously, breeding.
(I don't know how many trigger warnings I can or can't put here Please just Don't read if you're sensitive to certain topics warnings man He's a red flag)
Haven't played genshin since Fontaine Because I mainly play ZZZ now. I made this for a friend so hopefully I didn't butcher his character too much.
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Lohen is.... Still getting the hang of aftercare. Personally, he doesn't want to be the receiver. In fact, he quite likes any and all pain you give him. To him, it's a love language.
For you, however, that's different. You are the entire reason why he's trying in the first place. Lohen is surprisingly gentle as he rubs salve on the open wounds and scratches marks he has given you. Lohen hums in satisfaction as he looks at his work, begrudgingly putting plasters over those sweet, sweet cuts and bruises. You swore you heard him whisper that he'll miss one of them as if he isn't going to cover you again in marks, hickies, and wounds later.
Don't get into a bath with Lohen; he'll start to regret having you wash everything he's done to you down the drain.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Lohen's: his hands are his favorite, His hands dextrous yet terrifyingly strong; these hands have ended lives, and these are the same hands that touch and grope and give you pleasure, which Lohen gleefully brings up when his fingers are knuckles deep inside you. An honorable mention, if it counts, is his teeth. Personally, I think Lohen has sharp canines, which he frequently uses on his partner's body.
S/o's: legs and thighs. Especially thighs. Soft, strong yet sensitive, plush. He likes how easily they bruise. He likes the way his knife presses slowly against the plush skin until the skin breaks. He likes it when they tense up when his tongue runs across the cut, licking up every drop of your blood. He likes how they feel in his mouth when he bites down. He likes the way they close around him and squeeze when his mouth brings you pleasure. He will take personal offense if you don't squeeze as hard as you can. He loves when they tremble and become limbless when you're cumming.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
If you are not covered in wounds and cum he's doing something wrong.
Everywhere and anywhere, your face, your mouth, your chest... Your thighs, your ass inside you. Deep inside you. Let him make you filthy.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He has drugged you, and he has fucked you while you are passed out. Multiple times.
At first, it was just an experiment tampering with something that would make you sleep better at night after you complained. And then he saw how... Tantalizing you were, knocked out and at his mercy.
You do thank him for the sleeping solution He has made for you. So you take it every night... And Lohen happily presses his entire body against you, rutting his cock between those thighs, grabbing handfuls of you and pressing you hard against him. I can't even help myself in placing a hickey on the back of your neck.
You never know it's there. You notice that some people get a strange look, but that's about it. And you also notice Lohen has that suspicious smug smile on his face as he insists on walking behind you. Every time you ask, he has the same thing: "mh..? Oh nothing... Just admiring you."
His other not-so-secret dirty secret is that you just want to keep you drugged and reliant on him. He fantasizes I'm coming home and seeing you warming his bed. It'll be like keeping a pet. A pet that he fucks and feeds and bathes.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Would you believe me if I said no? Would you believe me if I said he tried to have sexual encounters in the past to no avail?
He learned an alarming number of things from outside sources. What outside sources? Use your imagination~! They are all legal, I promise.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
He likes doggy. He likes grabbing fistfuls of your hair, pressing you down onto the pillows until you're struggling to breathe as he slams his hips into your plush ass over and over. Leaving red handprints of where he strikes you.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He can be, but I don't think you want him to be... Hey, goofs off during sex in a way that would unsettle you. No particular reason other than the fact that He secretly gets off to it.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Lohen personally keeps himself shaved every now and then so he can't be bothered to deal with it later. He also likes the burn he feels after he waits for a while.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Lohen has the romance of a rabid rabbit in heat. He has his own twisted ass way of showing romance. He thinks flower petals and lit candles are tacky. He thinks dinners are boring. Drugging and kidnapping you and keeping you in an unknown location where you're all his to do with as he pleases for a week? There we go... Now that's romantic.
I'm serious. He thinks there is nothing more romantic than two partners sharing every waking second together. There is nothing more romantic than Lohen taking care of you and being in complete control while you're completely dependent on him for everything.
Don't act like you don't like it.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Why would he jack off when the real thing is right here? Why would he purposely downgrade himself to just his hand when your holes are his and his alone to use for his pleasure?
Though he does like masturbating in front of you. And he does like watching you do it... But that's the only exception.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
He loves marking. He loves leaving his mark on you so much that it's some kind of fetish. He has traced the tip of his knife against your thigh, spelling out his name multiple times. His eyes have a distant look as if he's contemplating whether to give his knife just a little more pressure. He is so sick of you being so afraid that you might hurt him. Stop hesitating, cut him with the knife already. He's straight up asking you to mark him. He wants to wear your marks. How many times does he have to tell you? Bite him, scratch him, and do it hard! Bite him so hard that he can run his finger across the scar for weeks as he giggles and kicks his feet, thinking about you.
Fear play: That fear in your eyes gets him harder than he cares to admit. He wants to be the one to twist that look of fear on your face intoint pleasure when he fucks you so hard. All you can think about is him. He will press his crossbow between your legs, put a knife to your throat, and tell you to grind on it.
An example for S/o with a uterus:
You warned him to be careful because today you are most fertile. He burned the look of your eyes going wide in panic when he pressed his hips firmly against yours as he spurted every hot load of cum he had for you. Only for him to laugh and tell you that he can't have kids even if he wanted them to begin with. He is, in fact, infertile.
The taste of your blood is his favorite flavor.
Noncon/freeuse:
He loves, loves, loves seeing the panic in your eyes when he sneaks into your place when you think he's supposed to be working. He puts a dagger to your throat and takes you right then and there. He wants you to fight back. Please fight back, try to hurt him. Don't hold back when you do. Even better if you grab a weapon. Don't worry about him. Don't even think about hesitating. If you think you will accidentally kill him, then you must be deluded, or you think he's weak.
Corruption:
If you are otherwise innocent or naive about anything in any way, and you just started dating him. You will not be the same when he's done with you. He will ruin you and demand you thank him as he covers you in shame. He calls it cuteness aggression.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
I don't know how to answer this...
All I can say is that he probably has a checklist of where he wants to do it. His bedroom gets boring after a while. He likes the risk of his office. Though he can't do it too often or else his dumbass coworkers will get suspicious. He likes the adrenaline rush of doing it in public.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
That far-off look you get when you're either drugged or drunk out of your mind. It's his favorite thing. He doesn't like touching himself but when he does do it when he can't have you that he's thinking about.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Lohen WILL NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SHARE YOU!!!
You have a ticking time bomb of a partner who you literally have to try to disarm when someone else tries to flirt with you.
The last time someone thought you were single, Lohen reassured you that everything was fine. You couldn't walk for a week, and somehow magically, you felt so weak you couldn't get out of bed. But don't worry, Lohen happily provided you with everything~
"oh... My dearest you're so weak! You don't feel too well? Aw... It must have been something you ate~or maybe you're still sore? That's understandable if you are... Especially after the night we had."
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
MAKE HIM GAG ON IT! SUFFOCATE HIM! SUFFOCATE HIM RIGHT NOW, CUT OFF ALL BREATHING UNTIL HIS VISION GOES WHITE! LOHEN DEMANDS IT!
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
The pace of a rabbit on aphrodisiac in mating season.
Fast rough deep combination of those two
Slow grinding is saved for nights.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Lohen has been reprimanded far too many times for public indecency. Basic tasks are boring, and he needs an outlet for anything thrilling, something that will get his blood pumping and sweat rolling down his body.
What? Are you on your lunch break? Ah... Whatever. Don't worry about it, he'll just give your boss some excuse that he needs to borrow you for a second. He's a knight after all.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Yes. Sometimes he has a bad habit of experimenting without telling you in the middle of sex, which is something you have talked to him about more times than you can count.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
"'No more, no more? You can't take it?' YES YOU CAN! I-hhuugh~ d-Don't care if you can't take it! You can and you will! I will-I will fucking train you to do it slut!- oh y-yes, squeeze... Just Like that! O~oh? Are you crying? Mmmh fuuck You going to make me cum if you keep making that face~ fuck Yes my perfect darling!! I'll drain my balls for you till they burn!"
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
"Anything's a toy if your brave enough... " - Lohen probably
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
I can see Lohen being a massive bully in bed. But I can also see him having little to no patience and just giving everything in anything to you.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
But never begging... Do not ask him Do not try to get him to beg he'll do anything but begging????? No he'd like to see you try.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Personal headcan of mine is Lohen Is completely infertile from all the experiments that has been done on him Lohen either completely lost the ability to have kids, or it is very, very rare for him to conceive.
Another personal headcanon of mine is that Lohen has an age difference kink directed at people older than him. He will take it as a personal challenge if anyone brushes off his flirting because of his age or because of how young he looks. He loves breaking people who infantilize him. He gets an insane power trip from that.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He is actually well-endowed. He is a grower on the lengthy side but still has a good amount of girth, vany and he is circumcised.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Be thankful that Lohen Is biologically infertile.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Lol no to literally fuck you for an entire day before he passes out.
Byleth as a non-human is so funny to me because He already wouldn't know a lot of human customs. So it's his normal socially and emotionally underdevelopment, with an extra layer of him not understanding humans.
He treats you like glass And yet he doesn't understand why he can't just yonk you away until your warm and protected in his nest.
In reality all he did was show up stare at you practically stalking you giving you weird shit every once in a while like a rock or sometimes a kill. And you didn't immediately attack him so you must accept his courtship.
He knows humans are skittish so he approaches you as if he's about to grab a feral spitting kitten.
No he will not understand until either one of his students or his peers tell him. And he is astonished....You mean humans don't court by displays of violence...? Wait... What do you mean that's not how court either.
That's when he realized he truly does not know how to do this.
I want to build on this But I want to be specific soo here's a poll
Whb mc personal headcanons extra (mostly just talking)
(thank you Tumblr for not giving me any indication that people were commenting)
I can't believe I need a disclaimer:
This post is in no way an argument of "why MC sucks or not etc" This is just my opinion and how I see her. Because I have a crippling problem of always trying to hyper-analyze protagonists and blank slate characters. If you try to use this to harass or win some argument over the internet about a porn game I will throw a break at you. This is me sharing my opinions and inviting people to a discussion. I want to talk about funny fictional characters.
Since I am a female I am going to use she/her pronouns for MC! My opinions about MC still stand regardless of gender.
First of all: Y'all thank you so so much for not going after me after saying MC has incel traits.
Obviously I'm not trying to make fun of MC for having these traits... Because if you peel back all of the violent misogynistic, homophobic and literally everything else. You just get people who are very sad lonely and have very low self-esteem.
MC strikes me has the type of person to just have given up on everything using porn as an outlet for a lot of trauma they have...
And trauma they are still having, bro she literally watched the only person she had in her life die right in front of her just like her parents... She was so distraught losing another person She literally begged to do anything from a demon. (Before she knew anything)
As much as I have problems with her I personally feel bad, She lost her parents at a very very young age being raised by a family who I assume probably had a little to do in her life. They're nice but according to the little screen time they have they don't seem to care that much.
May I remind you that MC lives alone in her own house... The same house That was owned by her deceased parents. Minhyeok was literally the only person she had.
And then it continues in hell, especially in the story these demons she lives with through the relationship with her is very transactional. She is there for one reason... And she's having sex too basically breathe.
And even if these demons did love her, for a while they didn't like her because of hers They liked her because of the completely different person she was in the past. Some demons are constantly comparing her and bringing her down to *descendant of Solomon*
I don't doubt her for being very detached because of this, I bet if a demon did try to genuinely want her affection... Not sex... Dating and affection. The first thing MC is going to think is "okay do they need me to take my pants off? They're kind of sexy so I might like this."
Not going to mention the amount of times demons took advantage of her or betrayed her trust or tried to kill her...
And the little fart on the shit cake...
SHE BASICALLY FOUND OUT THAT EVERYTHING SHE KNEW WAS A LIE. AND THE ONLY PERSON SHE GREW UP WITH TRUSTED AND THE CLOSEST SHE EVER FELT TO ANYONE IS POSSIBLY A MASTER MANIPULATOR WHO PROBABLY CREATED THIS ENTIRE LIFE OF HER PERSONAL SUFFERING FOR JUST HIM...
Ooh! I just know MC is going to be so allergic to commitment.
In conclusion: MC is extremely traumatized, And they are still getting traumatized to this day!
I think I'm more romantically attracted to women than I thought I was.
I thought it was just masculine presenting women.
(Of course I would rather have an emotional connection with anyone before I even dream of feeling like this. But like I'm noticeably more nervous around women)
And then I was like... Wait I think I like feminine women but I'm just too intimidated by their radiant beauty. Because they're over here looking absolutely gorgeous with beautiful makeup with the makeup skills of a god. And the posture, confidence that make them look like Disney princesses.
And The things they wear are so pretty. And the perfume they wear smells so good.
And then it's like... You don't have to wear makeup or wear all these pretty things to be beautiful. So many women say they look like shit without makeup and I'm sitting here looking at whoever said that to themselves like "??????"
Like I am literally a troglodyte compared to you. If you shine too bright in front of me I will burn and disintegrate like a disgusting degenerate confused vampire.
Is this creepy to say? I feel like I'm the embodiment of That one post where A man says he cares about feminism and then threatens periods to "leave her alone."
Tw: hypersexuality, depressing, psychoanalyzing a character that has the characteristics of a styrofoam rock.
Excuse me while I drop this and then run back into the fog like Bigfoot.
Bullied like... Bully bullied. Bullied and unwanted to the point where to feel anything they use porn as an outlet.
Minhyeok being extremely popular with women and men and being basically head over heels for MC was definitely indirectly the cause of some of that bullying. Minhyeok put a hard stop to that... But bullying still happens just Not as open.
They're bullying was so bad they have to switch to online school.
MC didn't like going outside in the human world as they are the subject of bullying they're kind of always self-conscious of how other people see them. Which is why they're so relaxed and exploring all of hell all of the time.
They're also relaxed in hell because they genuinely think the only thing they can offer these demons is their body. They're self-esteem is so low that they literally cannot fath them in their mind that someone would like them other than sex. Which is why they genuinely cannot even fathom the mere idea of Minhyeok having a crush on them. "Lol the most popular guy in my entire life having a crush on me? Haha... Nice try whatever you're taking can I have some?"
It certainly didn't help that since they had little to no parental supervision they've seen stuff at a young age they definitely shouldn't be seeing.
They're hypersexuality is also stemming from the fact they don't keep many people perhaps it's because they lost their parents when they're young. Or perhaps trauma of losing people in their life throughout their life not just their parents. That fleeting connection that they get from watching or reading porn is the only thing they can safely give. Because they are afraid of opening up.
Incel/femcel: Not in the way you think... They just have little to no self-esteem and they don't see a point in trying. No they don't go on weird sites... No they don't hate men / women, They have extremely low self-esteem and they genuinely don't see a point in trying to have literally anything other than the dopamine hit they get from feeling pleasure.
MC HAS MAGIC AND IT IS MORE POWERFUL THAN SOLOMON TRUST I AM THE FLY ON THE WALL IN PRETTY BUSY OFFICE.
