later is the best time to do anything

previously: tech2a22y, perpetually: tired

[r2dtoofine-blog]

ok yall im making a new tumble bc this one has embarrassing shit

message me if you want my new link

[vvdotcom]

I changed my mind, TikTok is Vine 2, which is amazing.

[parahumors]

TOMORROW IS CHRISTMAS EVE!!!

[ranchee94]

TODAY IS CHRISTMAS EVE!!!

[vntildawn]

TODAY IS CHRISTMAS DAY

[soulbell]

CHRISTMAS IS ALREADY FUCKING OVER

[number-nine-you-wanker-blog]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

[shin-holly]

CHRIST

[wenchyfloozymoo]

[bernardberniebern]

What was it he did? I cant miss an opportunity to drag Ross

[fifiandbogart]

So! First! He made out with Rachel while he was still dating Julie

THEN, he couldn’t decide which one he wanted to date more, so he kept dating Julie and didn’t tell Rachel anything about his decision after they had kissed

THEN he made a pros and cons list to decide whether or not to dump Julie so he could date Rachel and he wrote shit like: Too ditzy, too spoiled, too into her looks, not much in common since she’s just a waitress, and she has fat ankles

THEN, after he finally decided to dump Julie and be with Rachel, he tried to hide the list from her but she found it anyway and got rightfully pissed off

THEN he tried to make all sorts of excuses for the list without actually apologizing

THEN he ignored Rachel’s choice to be alone by CLIMBING UP THE SIDE OF THEIR BUILDING INTO THEIR FUCKING BALCONY to try and force her to listen to him read her “Pro-list”

THEN he gets his other friends to let him into the house after Rachel makes it clear that she doesn’t want to see him by going into her room

THEN Rachel tries to explain to him why she’s so hurt by the list by telling him that all the things he wrote on the list were things she actually hates about herself and it sucks he not only agrees with her but actually uses those things as reasons not to be with her

THEN he CONTINUES to try and make excuses for himself and even try to make her feel bad about being mad at him by turning the situation around by saying “If things were the other way around, there’s nothing you could write about me that would make me not want to be with you”

THEN, after Rachel makes it clear that she’s not interested in talking to him, he calls Monica and asks her to turn on the radio since he made a song request for her so he’s basically forcing Rachel to listen to him

SO IN CONCLUSION: He didn’t apologize ONE TIME for the list, he tried to manipulate Rachel into forgiving him by saying she’s overreacting, AND proceeded to ignore Rachel’s wishes for a little bit of space continuously

This has been an anti-Ross psa

[boobs69]

The only piece of trans bathroom discourse that matters is this poem I apparently wrote in my notes at 3am last month

I am trans

And wen I see

The bathroom tht is rite for me

I must recline

To take a wee

I hav no dong

I sit to pee

[egberts]

when you walk out of your bedroom and the bathtub is in the hallway

[shock]

if fallout 76 really is a world where “every character is a real person” & there’s no NPCs im making it my civic duty to be like this lowly tavern barkeep and then once i’ve established enough of a rapport i’m going to nuke all of west virginia and it will be in character 

[b0gchamp-deactivated20230613]

someone help where’s the screenshot of some post somewhere about the mmo player who barkept for a longass time then fucked absolutely everyone over

[yessica-k]

This one? @team0player0

[notlostonanadventure]

This is like if Gone Girl was an MMO

[misterpoofofficial]

⚡️☠️

[uchanda]

therapist: how was your week?

me: mm.. i can’t remember

[hjartasalt]

Teacher: how was your weekend?

Me: can you please start out with an easier question

[jewblog]

“2019 will be–” SHUT the fuck up okay the evil eye is out for blood i swear we do this every year

[jewblog]

i’m here to protect u all bc u sure won’t protect urselves, evidently

[remaded-deactivated20190301]

Anyway… 2019 is about being bisexual and sexy

[hummingbirdcas]

Welcome twenty bi-teen

[thickness-protection-program]

Welcome 20 bi-teen

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

mix NyQuil and DayQuil to create Quil

[lured-deactivated20170602]

what does Quil do

[softbutxh-deactivated20170428]

All the time all the time

[slavery]

How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears

[pkslider]

The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out “let me on” in unison and then since I’m driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said “do you play fortnite” and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted “THIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITE” and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite

[low-budget-mulan]

A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.

[patron-saint-of-smart-asses-dea]

The hero we deserve

[treerot]

When I was on register at Kohl’s a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too

[newterjuice]

i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said “your ring is very pretty” and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said “does that mean you’re marrying two people?!”

[siren-singing]

I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom “that lady has superpowers, don’t tell anyone or the government will take her away”.

[business-pug]

The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.

[mcr-minivan-deactivated20200108]

god I love tiny kids

[uberfluss]

there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screaming “CHEMICALS” at the top of his lungs. he wouldn’t even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.

[moth-doe]

I was watching these kids at church today and one of them screamed and threw a toy car into the wall and it broke and the other one looked over calmly and said “does your insurance cover that?”

[armandyke]

I was taking the drink order for a family at work and I asked their kid what he wanted to drink and he just looked at me with a completely deadpan expression and said “vodka” and me and the parents just fucking lost it

[bemusedlybespectacled]

kid I used to babysit asked why my lips were different (she was two), and when I told her that it was because I was wearing lipstick, she yelled, “MAYA, I WANT LIPITZ.”

[itsmydrink]

I work in a school and every time I draw anything on the board (I am a terrible artist and usually resort to stick men), the kids will all go ‘I love your picture, that’s a great drawing Miss’. So blindly supportive.

[the-stray-liger]

One time my younger brother ordered a “non-alcoholic fanta” at a hotel bar and the bartender lost his shit and I was never the same man

[swankivy]

When I was student teaching, I was taking my fourth graders back from lunch and noticed one little girl looking longingly at the playground, where the younger kids were having recess. She heaved a big sigh and said, “I used to be that free.”

[r2dtoofine-blog]

since tumblr is dead, i can make this post

dirk pours his milk before his cereal

[liquidstar]

tbh i never sing along to fergalicous because im terrified that ill accidentally slip into the lyrics of… the wrong version.

[digivolvin]

i miss him 

[digivolvin]

him

[diddly-darn-ghost]

its holiday season, danny phantom is fucking pissed