26 • Two-Spirit • Any Pronouns • All of my opinions are my own • Any Sidekicks of Tramiel content I post here that is not included in the published mod is not canon
(The announcement below is copied from my discord)
Hey everyone! This announcement has been a long time coming, I’ve just been pretty busy these past months. This announcement will have some good news, but also, some bad news.
First off, the good news:
End of last year I graduated from college and a few months after I got a new job! I had to move to a whole new state and it’s been perhaps one of, if not the, best experience of my life. This job has been amazing. My new place has been amazing. And just my life in general has been amazing! I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so content in my life! Sometimes I’ll just start looking around and be struck with disbelief that things turned out so well for me. Basically, I got a really nice job in writing and I couldn’t be happier!
With this new job, it has also given me time to discover old and new hobbies such as writing my own new material, reading, and I’m getting back into playing/running Dnd! (And once I get my hands on my sewing machine next month you better bet I’m gonna start sewing again!! And get back into cosplaying!!!)
But with this all new amazingness comes with a down side. My new job offers little time in the terms of modding. By the time I’m done with work I’m usually exhausted. (this may also be health related which I’m trying to figure out, but we’ll see.) And on the weekends I find myself looking for new hobbies.
Let me rip the bandaid off real quick:
For now, I will no longer be working on my mods. That doesn’t mean I hope nothing new comes out of them. I’m still hoping to make an announcement later that may open up *some* of my mods for fan made expansions (if users wish to do so,) but I’m still trying to get all that sorted out. There was a lot of update work being done, and I’m still figuring out what to do with it.
I also still love seeing mod patches like replacers, translations, and such (like always, just shoot me a message first so I know they’re coming out.)
This also doesn’t mean it’s forever over. One day, I may return, but for now, I’m stepping aside.
With that sad news said, I want to let all of you know what a ride all this has been! I first started modding because I wanted to find a creative writing outlet, then it turned into realizing I could make a portfolio for a future career with it, and then, finally, I realized how many people enjoyed my work. There were a lot of times where I self doubted whether or not I was a good writer, but seeing the overwhelming support over the years for my art has helped me get over that. My final years of college weren’t great, and modding and you all helped me through the vast majority of it. Because of all that, I want to thank each and every one of you for your support!
Now, just because I’m stepping away from modding doesn’t mean I want to stop creating. Like I said, I still love writing in my free time, so maybe in the future I can post various personal writings I make here.
And with that, once I get everything figured out about the future of my mods, this server may be taking a shift in a new direction from being solely about Sidekicks of Tamriel, but just as a general Rabbitt Winri server and whatever personal projects I pursue in the future. (I will also be changing my various social media accounts accordingly too.)
Once again, I cannot thank all of you enough for what you’ve done for me! None of this would have been possible without you!
I found out a little trick while reading more romance books.
You know I like my old men. You know. I know. Everyone knows.
Well, while reading a romance book yesterday I read about a guy with white hair, sickly looking, dark suit, and shining eyes. Im like, oh, old guy.
What I didn't think about is that im a slow reader who has the worst time paying attention. I get further in the book and learn he's the love interest and Im thinking 'wait, is this an age gap romance with an actual old looking dude??' (Character is 100+ magic man.)
Looked back. No. I missed in the description he has smooth skin and looks young.
But then it hit me, why do I need to invision him young?? If he's gonna be 100+ Im imagining him like an old man.
Now anytime I read any part with him I'm giggling and kicking my feet.
We are heartbroken to share the tragic news of the death of Jonathan Joss—beloved actor, artist, and gay icon—who was fatally shot on June 1, 2025, in San Antonio, Texas. He was 59 years old. Authorities are investigating the possibility of a hate crime.
Jonathan, of Comanche and White Mountain Apache heritage, rose to fame as the voice of John Redcorn on King of the Hill and appeared in acclaimed films such as The Magnificent Seven and True Grit. Beyond his screen work, he was a tireless advocate for Native sovereignty, queer visibility, and authentic representation.
In recent years, Jonathan came out publicly as a gay man and remained fiercely proud of both his Indigenous and queer identities. He is survived by his husband, Tristan Kern de Gonzales, with whom he shared a life rooted in love, art, and community.
Jonathan’s legacy is one of courage, truth, and unapologetic presence. His impact on two-spirit and LGBTQ+ Indigenous youth—and on all of us who saw ourselves in his work—cannot be overstated.
We mourn his loss. We honor his voice. We demand justice.
Rest in power, Jonathan Joss. You are remembered. You are loved.
Good [timezone], Workshop Spectators! After our excellent launch of KRCE back in December (and a well deserved staff break), we've been back at it behind the scenes; on-boarding our six new staff members, handling bug fixes, and cooking up the first batch of new KRCE exclusive content!
We're a few weeks into our donation drive to cover our new content, and progress has been excellent!
We have enough to cover our first session with Paul, so our staff has been busy hammering out the first slate of scripts and playtesting our internal KRCE 2.0 build for the new quests these scripts will be covering. Nearly all of them have been expanded on in clever ways that we're keeping close to our chest until launch.
Before we get into that though, we held a poll back in January asking the community a number of different questions regarding changes to KRCE content the staff were considering.
Many discussions sprouted from the latter question regarding Kaidan's moral compass, some so compelling that our staff is still reeling from the potential it has for future content packs.
As of right now, we haven't decided which quests Kaidan will avoid doing -- our first slate of new content (mercifully) doesn't have any content that our favorite swordsman would find distasteful -- but as always, we will keep you updated as those decisions materialize.
So what exactly is part of the first slate of new content?
The Intro Overhaul Pack -- What started as just a 1 for 1 integration of WarTortle's Immersive Kaidan Start has now expanded to include a few new conversations and immersive details to help smooth out the narrative mystery behind Kaidan's past, particularly for players who are new to TES lore.
Paarthurnax Quest Expansion Compatibility -- Created by the amazing JaySerpa, PQE hooks wonderfully into Kaidan's existing narrative about redemption. We've managed to work into a few subtle nods to Kaidan's dark past for players who haven't completed his personal quest.
I'm Glad You're Here Compatibility -- Exactly what it says on the tin. This pack includes integration with our nickname system as well!
The Book Pack -- In addition to creating new lines for each book Kaidan receives, we have also implemented a system where the player can then ask him what he thought about said book. Some of these books also have conditional dialogue, depending if the player has or hasn't completed certain quests. There's also a new mini-quest built into this book system that will unlock...
[REDACTED] Pack -- a brand new way to engage with Kaidan. Trust us, you're going to love it.
I don't know if you've done this (and I apologize if you have) but what songs do you associate each SOT with?
I deleted my SOT playlists...
Okay, to be fair, I still have Varrick and Khash's. My BG3 durge has a ton of songs in common with Varrick, so I kept that playlist. And Khash's playlist is just a vibe I really like.
If you're interested in those, you can find them here:
(Additional songs for everyone below the cut. Sadly some aren't super long due to not having those playlists anymore.)
But, if I had to choose one or two songs for them then...
Khash
Cruel World by Josh Homme. Just really has that sober tone (along with the western music,) that fits Khash so fell. Most of the music I have for Khash is either folk or western. But that's because Khash was heavily inspired by the vibe of old west stories. Other songs that make me think of her are This Heart I Know by Westward the tide, Bloom by The Paper Kites, Take Us Back by Alela Diane, (though not folk it western,) Time Adventure by Rebecca Sugar, and Fourth of July by Sufjan Steven's.
A bit of a bonus round: I also have songs for Marlok in the Khash playlist. These are Ain't No Grave by Johnny Cash, Won't Back Down by Sam Elliot, and No Children by The Mountain Goats (though this song tied more to Marlok and on the NPCs from Khash's questline. Who knows, maybe one day I'll post about them. Pretty much Marlok has a REAL BAD bromance breakup.)
Caryalind
Now, to be real, I don't remember Caryalind having a ton of songs that were pretty emotional in his playlist. Most were very feel-good songs. However, if I had to choose some now, I would say Hey Lover by Wabie, and What Could Have Been by String / Ren Chen.
Disnel
Honestly, I'm having a tough time remembering songs on Disnel's playlist. I knew I had one, but the only two songs I remember were Gilded Lily by Cults, and then Mary on a Cross by Ghost. Mary on a Cross really stuck in my mind simply for the lyric 'your beauty never scared me.' I saw an edit of Raine from the owl House staring at Harpy Eda protecting them, and I always could imagine the dragonborn watching Disnel transforming after getting her magic back in the same amazement. Obviously, this was before I decided to make disnel aromantic, and had a romance planned, but I still think it could work in a platonic way.
Varrick
Varrick's playlist is a funny situation cause half of it deals with his story, and them half is just him being a vibe. Songs like Hell's Comin' With Me by Poor Man's Poison and In the Blood by Darren Korb and Ashley Barrett were for his backstory. And then songs like Rasputin by Boney M and Anything You Want by Jawny was all for the vibes. Though, we also have songs that were meant to (in a way) reference his religion (but also one of the songs isn't religious) which were All Around Me by Flyleaf and then Church by Fall Out Boy.
Gabrielle
Gabrielle is the odd ball in the sense that her backstory was *weird, so girl had some weird music. (Like Khash, who knows, maybe one day I'll write a post that covers her full backstory and questline idea.)
But, Gabrielle's music centered more around songs that I liked the sound of instead of what the lyrics said. Music that felt like being in a fever dream almost. Two I remember having were Swimming Pool by Marie Madeleine and The Perfect Girl by Mareux.
Okay, so I didn't have as much as I thought I had for old interaction writings for SOT. But I did have this! A small quest with Khash and Gabrielle where the Player and Gabrielle could buy Khash a dress (what was the dress gonna look like? Idk, I didn't get that far.)
(Script below the cut. As always, none of this is canon and never finalized.)
The Knight of the Void and Disnel would throw hands before they let the other get taken back to their "cage".
Varrick sees the rest of the SOT as his children. Even though Khash is the only one younger than him.
Caryalind was to put it lightly, very intimidated and afraid of The Knight when they first met. However, over time, they become close friends (much to The Knight's fear of leading him down a path of destruction and death like she has so many others)
Caryalind has made flower crowns for the entire group. Khash made him realise he has this freedom. Granted, the Knight was difficult to get to accept one, as he wanted each crown to resemble each SOT as a person. Khash's was compromised of Daisies (childhood), Red Carnations (courage) and Irises (trust); Disnel's had Hyacinths (rebirth), Lilies (freedom), Hydrangeas (family/togetherness/unity); Varrick's had Orchids (strength/vigor), Chrysanthemums (honesty), and Hibiscus (faith/devotion); The Knight's had Tulips (resilience), Foxglove (insecurity), and Cymbidiums (morality)
Relating to this, Caryalind is actually very educated in floral design/the meanings behind flowers. (This is a hill I will die on).
The Knight has chronic/phantom pain from the times she was killed over and over again in The Deadlands. Caryalind's usually the one that's comforting her during the spells. The first time he did this, The Knight almost cried. She had been alone for so long, because she feared being the reason for another's destruction...because she pushed others away, that she had forced herself constantly to just endure.
Disnel was the first of the SOT group that The Knight told her name to. The order that followed was: Caryalind, Cary told her about home life, she told him her name (and some of her story. A trauma extange); Khash, she asked one day because she was curious (Crow had told her about her real name, Ahliah, so Khash wondered about The Knight); Varrick, just kind of came up when they began to kind of understand eachother.
Khash begged The Knight to let her braid her hair once she gotten comfortable showing her face. A few hours later, Khash was happily braiding hair while Caryalind gave her the flower crown. Those three are besties, no I will not explain why I see them as best friends.
Varrick, unlike most when meeting The Knight, wasn't intimidated or afraid. He knew Daedra magic...the energy it radiated... he was curious about her, albiet maybe a bit suspicious about why she radiated an aura like that of Daedra magic, yet never was one to start a conversation, as he knew she kept to herself more often than not. He may or may not have made the mistake of mentioning that he worshipped Boethiah to the Knight.
Khash had a natural curiosity about Disnel, about Changelings and anything else Disnel was willing to share.
The group all have worried about Khash's safety atleast once.
Only once did Varrick accidently hit someone with his magic (technically was his Storm Atronach). And that someone was Caryalind. How it happened was (in my mind; idk if this is canon or not, but this is how I see it) Atronachs play off of their summoner's feelings. Varrick didn't trust Caryalind, he felt like he had to constantly watch the prince. And so, the atronach felt this and attacked Caryalind, it was only once before Varrick regained control. But he still felt terrible about it.
The SOT group are their own little family in the Dovahcrew. What their dynamics are is up for debate.
Disnel and Gabrielle talk often about what its like going from prisoner to freedom in a world so different from the one they left.
Varrick has made some jewelry for each Sidekick (he had help from Sorayne to make more complex jewelry). Caryalind got an ear cuff (yes his ears are pierced; no I don't care if it's possible in canon or not. His ears are pierced bc he can) with sapphires adoring its crest; Khash got a necklace with amethysts embedded in its center; Disnel got an anklet with multi colored gemstones, all that match her outfit; the Knight got a silver hand chain with ambers embedded in it, as well as Mara's crest in its center.
The SOT crew all get together, away from everyone, once a week to gossip.
@rabbittwinrithings not a writing (sorry abt the tag bc it's not writing), but it's something I will incorporate into writings later
Idk how to describe this besides the voices took over
Aka, I saw what Rabbitt had drafted for SOT reactions to VIGILANT. And ik it isnt canon to them, but I'm a fanfiction writer and canon is merely the blueprint for writing.
I decided to write a stupid little post VIGILANT conversation between Gabrielle and Varrick bc I have free will and I needed a reason to stay awake as I'm not allowed to have caffeine due to getting neurodivergency tested later (am actively on my way when making this post)
I say little...its 981 words ... (live reaction time: holy shit- i wrote that much!? on the murder grandpa and truamatized knight?!)
It had been a week since he had that godsforesakened nightmare. A week since the lot of them had woken up from one.
A week since Khash woke up from what felt like 43 years of being in Coldharbour...under the service to Molag Bal, relieved to be a 13 year old child once more...that she was just an Argonian archer, not some middle aged necromancing lizard.
A week since Caryalind woke up from the torturous process and reality of being captured by vampires and being turned into such abomination. Able to not have the constant thirst for blood in the back of his mind...though his mouth still faintly held the coppery taste of blood.
A week since Disnel woke to her own flesh and blood, instead of the large skeever she dreamt of being. Free from that constant terror of being your greatest fear.
A week since the Knight awoke with panic, struggling to breath as the terror of being in Oblivions clutches once more controlled her very being.
A week since he was forced to fight for a year. Forced to go to his limits. Forced to be brought back when he was on the verge of death. A week since he felt like he failed his Prince.
And despite being reassured by Sorayne and Crow that it was 'just a dream' Varrick felt like Boethiah was sneering down upon him. Weak for giving up like Molag Bal had wanted from him.
Was this how Knight felt? Constantly a failure to her goddess?
Varrick couldn't imagine the length of pain the Knight felt both during her centuries in Oblivion and when she escaped.
Being essentially marked by a divine...being taught how to live by said divine only for them to leave you when you make a mortal mistake.
It took her how long to give up on Mara in Oblivion under Dagon's constant torture? And he gave up on Boethiah and her teachings in just a year's time? Even if it was a dream...just Molag Bal being spiteful of the group and tormenting them in their sleep...the idea of it still hurts. He gave up so easily. Even after everything he's seen. He gave up so soon.
He felt a shiver go down his spine as his next thought troubled him.
The Knight was barely an adult at the time. She was what? Nineteen? Eighteen?
He had heard the conversations between Crow and the Knight about the Knight's past...
"I believe I was eighteen when I broke her trust..." the knight had said.
-----------
Perhaps his inability to sleep was why he went out to where the Knight was on night duty by default.
Or perhaps it was because he needed to talk to her. Talk to her about things only she has the ability to understand, to relate to.
Talk about things that may put them on...more decent terms instead both of them constantly throwing insults at eachother.
-----------
Gabrielle stiffened slightly when she heard ruffling furs before eyeing Varrick walking up to where she sat.
He didn't say anything, but Gabrielle saw the hints of tension in his eyes.
After a moment, Gabrielle broke the silence.
"Veil," she said bluntly.
"Knight."
Varrick inhaled before he continued, muttering, "Look, I know you hate me. And I'm not going to go on about how your wrong to do so. You haven't straight up killed me so that's got to mean something, eh?"
Gabrielle couldn't stop the light scoff that left her. "What does thou want? Stop beating around the bush Veil, it isn't becoming of thee."
"That dream...the one about Coldharbour we all seemed to have..." Varrick shuddered slightly. "Do you...Did-" he stopped, annoyed with himself for struggling to ask what he needed to ask. "What exactly was it like in the Deadlands?"
Varrick watched for what little signs he could read off of the stoic knight. He saw her shoulders hitch slightly.
Not the best reaction, but probably the most expected one.
"Why does it concern thee?" Came her hissed response, not looking at Varrick despite him looking at her.
Varrick sighed, "Because. Because of what that night terror was for me...it was horrible...being forced to fight constantly...always pushed to my limits by a Prince who despised me for who I worshipped... I can only imagine what it was like for you."
Gabrielle blinked behind her helmet, chewing on her lip, his words dancing around in her mind."I can only imagine what it was like for you."
"The Princes definitely have different ideas of torture, but they are all hell and...horrific to men and mer alike." Gabrielle muttered, finally facing Varrick. "Molag Bal wanted you to be pushed to you limits for...your Prince...push you to fight in a way that anyone would give in to after so long, no matter who or what they believed in. Forcing one to submit after exhaustion of being beaten the the mere edge of death countless times."
Varrick didn't miss the slight vemon and edge in Gabrielle's tone when she mentioned his faith.
"Dagon wanted the same for me. He tortured and killed me many, many times." Gabrielle blinked away tears from her eyes, unknowing if she willed to continue.
"He wanted you to realise your faith was useless. That he was supreme...that the only way to survive was through bending the knee to him...or change who's will you rely on," Varrick finished, seeing the hints of despair in Gabrielle.
Subtly, he moved towards her.
"I suppose that is another thing we can both agree on," he smirked down at her, repeating her own words from during that expedition prior to that...nightmare ordeal...at the temple.
"You aren't that bad of company when you aren't actively wishing for me to impale myself," He quirked.
"I've never said that."
"I've read between the lines. Unfortunately it was difficult with how much of a closed book you are."
