No proshippers allowed on this fucking blog
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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Kiana Khansmith
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noise dept.

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@raccoonindabin
No proshippers allowed on this fucking blog
I contemplate suicide so often it scares me.
I am awake and anguished because I did not take my idgaf medication
Im emotionally stunted and unavailable from years of child abuse and isolation and now that I have actual good parents to bond with I cannot bond because fuck I don't know how. My dad is leaving the country for work and my body is upset about that but my brain is like "why??? You don't know him???" And I'm like that's awful what do you mean I don't know him he's my dad
I can't even maintain eye contact what is wrong with me
Tryin to prove a point to my homophobic mom
Reblog if you think it's perfectly fine and maybe even great to put coins in the blender
what if i just manipulate reality with my mind and make everything perfect and good
in my head i do everything right
one day i will snap out of it im sure
I was gunna put this in the tags but itβs a lot. When i first started going through the process of getting a diagnosis, i was labelled with ODD. I immediately took issue with this, it seemed like an unfair diagnosis based entirely on the session the psychiatrist had with my parents (which mostly consisted of βmy child is being really difficult on purposeβ), and Hoo Boy when i tell you ODD immediately strips you of your ability to call out anyone on anything, that would be an understatement. I couldnβt even disagree or bring up my concerns about the validity of MY OWN DIAGNOSIS without it being labelled as oppositional defiance. Whenever i displayed any negative emotion the βtreatmentsβ did so much more harm than good. When you label someone as βdefiantβ (ugh), when that word is put on their medical record, that person is never allowed to complain about anything again. Knowing that POC are disproportionately affected with this diagnosis makes me feel sick, i can only imagine whatβs being swept under the rug as someone just being βdefiant to authorityβ, not even just in the medical field but as justification for police brutality and mass incarceration. When i say medical racism kills people, this is what i mean.
this is so fucking important. reblog.
i loooove character trope thats like.hold on
^^^character that literally cant see themselves as nice and thinks that theyre somehow fooling everyone around them into thinking theyre nice and feel really bad about it . vs their friend who sees them for who they are
ahahah yeah. "character"
Yeah...."character" uhuh
I am craving ice scream with chocolate sauce so much rn I think I need an exorcism. I HAD ice cream earlier! I just can't get enough.
Me as well because what do you mean im craving an affogato after I just had one- to be fair though they are insanely good
this 'being really tired after work' thing is really getting in the way of this 'pursuing my artistic hopes and dreams' thing has anyone else noticed this
I hope this doesnβt derail your post OP but like. Yeah actually this should piss us off moreβββ
Iβm an artist! Iβve always wanted to be an artist! And Iβm a pretty good one! But I work two jobs in an unrelated industry so I can pay rent, and when Iβm not exhausted from THAT I can do the thing I enjoy and have talent in as a hobby. And when I try to enjoy other peopleβs art, itβs completely saturated in AI shit made of stolen art generated by an algorithm used by people who have no skill and no desire to learn, who donβt actually appreciate the creative process.
My colleague has a degree in archaeology! Heβs passionate about it! But he canβt afford to keep studying and works two jobs to pay rent. And when heβs not exhausted from THAT, maybe he can go online and watch videos and read articlesβ¦ which are increasingly saturated by fake videos and conspiracy theories and unsourced bullshit hidden behind fancy headlines full of ads.
Itβs likeβ¦ People with skills and interests are too busy struggling with food and shelter to produce real art and real science and real tangible things, because prices keep going up while quality keeps going down, so the creators and the innovators who arenβt lucky enough to be born into wealth are stuck doing mindless shit they hate while machines churn out slop at low quality and low cost, and itβs all just become a race to the bottom.
All thatβs left is tired broke people and grifters. And itβs exhausting
Came home from community collage with the intent to decompress, play animal crossing and draw....
Slept from 4 pm that day to 5 am the next day.
[Sighs and daydreams about Tenna treating me for my birthday since my family doesn't care enough to]
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Our fuckass healthcare system
Yeah so I need an appointment
Doctor: "Best we can do is december"
WTF