Untitled @radically-tubular - Tumblr Blog

the first thing i thought of when i got this dress..

I want a daddy. I ended the daddy part of my relationship and I'm sad. I want to be little with someone who wants to be big. I want someone who is involved as much as I am. I'm sick of my regression being sad recently because it's something I used to do to be happy.

viejospellejos

PADRE DEL AÑO 2019:

danielkanhai

i’m not against vaping, but man, vaping two inches from my face on the subway is a ridiculous asshole kind of move. this dude was billowing like he was auditioning for the role of haunted house fog machine. the humidity in the whole car changed, he was ruining haircuts. just jump starting the water cycle. condensation was dripping down my glasses. people were slipping off poles, it was chaos. it was like watching one man try to terraform the moon. a planet with one dense, root beer scented atmosphere blocking out the sun and choking all life.

jazzcochina-deactivated20180807

i consider this a sort of prose poem to be honest

strippering

Omg

So my stripper wifey came into the stage after me; I handed my good luck charm to her (a turtle) for her to kiss, and she handed me hers (a Buddha) to kiss.

A customer noticed and asked, “what the fuck was that about?”

She just said: “strippers are superstitious af. Boos share good vibes.”

Best description of strippers ever.

wrenkai

One time I kissed my girlfriend while we were out and a little girl looked at us with such amazement like

“That’s an option?!?!”

johnpaulbrammer

lifeinflames

me as a cat

wolfgangreborn

Agreed

imokay-imokay-deactivated202208

me: *says nothing*

Brain: “ dude, shut the fuck up you’re so annoying “

blackqueerblog

“Pit bulls are bred to fight”

Yeah fightin back my tears

darthloksprincess

I laughed so hard at this. I hope it makes you smile too.

the-lingerie-counsellor

Pre and post work routines ✨

It’s really important in this job to take care of your mental and physical health and I, in particular, tend to take on a buttload of negativity during a shift, especially if it’s a bad night!

I’ve found these things really help me to prepare for work and to unwind when I get home and they’re essential if I’m working multiple nights in a row!

Pre-work: - Listen to some upbeat music (while getting ready and on your way to work). - Have a long shower with some nice smelling shower gel, shave, wash your hair. Really picture turning yourself into a sensual, perfectly groomed goddess. - Eat a light meal with protein, some vegies and carbohydrates for energy, something wholesome that’s not going to make you bloated. - Visualise your night: picture yourself looking amazing, feeling confident, nailing all your stages. Visualise heaps of customers who are positive and happy to spend money on you; visualise yourself getting heaps of dances and your huge wad of cash building up throughout the night.

Post-work: - Take your makeup off and have a hot shower; scrub yourself all over to get the club grime off your body, picture any stress or negativity washing down the drain with the soapy water. Brush your teeth. - Stretch; make sure your muscles cool down properly to avoid injury. Apply arnica cream to any bruises or sore areas. - Have a light snack and something to drink, nuts and tea, or milk to prepare you for bed and ensure your sleep isn’t disrupted by hunger. (Also, if I’ve had any alcohol or caffeine during my shift I make sure to drink heaps of water before I go to bed). - Make sure your bed is made (if possible) and you have clean pyjamas to get into. - Dump any work clothes that your wore in the wash: don’t let them sit all sweaty and gross in your bag overnight! - Count your cash (and note it down in your journal/calendar/app if you do so normally). - Regardless of what the night was like try to think of all the parts of this job you’re grateful for and how you have the possibility to always do better!!

These are just some of my personal ideas and I would love to hear anyone else’s routines!

Xxx