i just like the username

don't follow ok; making sense of things

[radionohwed]

would reallyyyy like to make out w a girl :/ whatever. kicks rocks

[radionohwed]

hmm ok scratch that old tbr here’s the new stuff i Will read #trust

reread farseer trilogy rashōmon & other short stories annihilation by some guy i forgor

that’s all for now + would like to revise some physics & maths for fun & also some python (never perfected that one program i was talking abt………)

[radionohwed]

i think it’s so nice to have that one best friend…like i can tell her (mostly) anything, gush about yuri w/o feeling any sort of homophobia bc she’s also not str8 in some way or the other (ik fs bro doesn’t like men), also has full access to my tumblr blog which No One Else irl has….it is truly very nice :))

and the best part is it is mutual :)) she tells me stuff too i love walking around at night w her :) i will really miss it all bc it’s gonna go away soon but well… :(

[radionohwed]

gah periodsss im feeling bloated asf + cramps (thankfully they r mild 🙏) + sleepy as fuck + leg day (they made us do hiit but without any 'interval' 15 mins str8 and a bunch of other stuff-- i dont usually hv leg day bc i practice punches on that day but the other guy from my batch wasnt there) & forgot to drink protein shake so legs ache so badly esp when walking im hobbling around + decided to fuck it and drink said protien shake with half a cup of tea so now im extra bloated and my legs still ache & im still eepy but ok whatever

[radionohwed]

making a tbr because there is an overwhelming amount of stuff i want to read:

>Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy (started today)

>ORV Reread (i’ve been at it for almost a year..last 100 chapters…)

>Ada or Ardour by Vladimir Nabokov

>C&P by Fyodor Dostoevsky (again started it 2 yrs ago never finished)

>Beloved by Toni Morrison

>Wuthering Heights by Emily Brönte

>We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

[radionohwed]

ended up reading witch hat atelier 🤭🤭🤭 oops but it was awesome amazing beautiful so #idontcare

[radionohwed]

I REALLY MISS GOING TO CLASS ON MY CYCLE I WONT BE ABLE TO DO THAT EVER AGAIN IT’S STUPID BUT IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY I MISS IT SO BAD I MISS MONSOON CAN IT PLEASE RAIN BE OVERCAST CAN I PERPETUALLY LIVE IN JUNE JULY AUGUST?

[radionohwed]

making a tbr because there is an overwhelming amount of stuff i want to read:

>Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy (started today)

>ORV Reread (i’ve been at it for almost a year..last 100 chapters…)

>Ada or Ardour by Vladimir Nabokov

>C&P by Fyodor Dostoevsky (again started it 2 yrs ago never finished)

>Beloved by Toni Morrison

>Wuthering Heights by Emily Brönte

>We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

[radionohwed]

really stupid and a bit embarrassing but when i first started reading orv i really wished kim dokja would be my father ??? like not in a kinky way just wanted him as a father figure ?????? and he would be so awful at paternal duties yet i don’t know what came over me….anyway it had been long since the feeling died away but lowk What Was That About

[radionohwed]

i wonder if there will ever be someone who i can be fully honest with…i mean it’s mainly just me who can’t say anything because it’s too difficult rather than the other person being not trusted…and i don’t know if this is a universal thing but at times i end up..gatekeeping my feelings for the lack of a better word it makes me strangely pleased to certain things about myself no one ever will. yet it also makes me so lonely sigh

[radionohwed]

exploding into a billion smithereens helpppp

[radionohwed]

why can’t people i love find happiness and why can’t i be of any fucking help

[radionohwed]

where do u put the impending sense of loneliness ? crashing out presently & im supposed to meeting ppl but thankfully it’s movies so it isn’t as pressing….but i don’t understand why my heart beats so fast

[radionohwed]

it was actually quite nice made me forget the guilt b4 it’s strange that i can rationalise my feelings but not make them go away is it not enough to understand?

[radionohwed]

where do u put the impending sense of loneliness ? crashing out presently & im supposed to meeting ppl but thankfully it’s movies so it isn’t as pressing….but i don’t understand why my heart beats so fast

[radionohwed]

i think i should have the right to obliterate my mother’s side of the family how can they do all that

[radionohwed]

i used to have such a yuriful relationship w someone but we barely talk anymore or maybe it never was but it felt so gentle & delicate & like smelling wildflowers running through a field startling butterflies away at least to me….how do i get it back :(