@raeofsunshine: 🌷

if i look back, i am lost

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EXPECTATIONS
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@raecunningham
@raeofsunshine: 🌷
artcunning:
No, no. Not Kerrison. She’s doing great, though. She just started walking. We’ll bring her by to see you.
Um, no. My question for you is… well, actually, it’s less of needing advice as much as it is advisement. Sophie and I are looking at getting our own place, and I have no fucking clue how to do this.
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Ugh, please! I miss snuggles. Both yours and hers, but mostly hers.
Oh, Arth. That’s so exciting! Honestly, Atti’s parents friends helped us a lot when he decided to move out. I don’t know much but, I wanna help as much as I can. And you absolutely have to use Atti’s realtor! What are you thinking you want - an apartment or a townhome or a house?
artcunning:
I love you, too. Forever.
Rae, I need your advice on something.
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I love you forever and a day. What’s going on? Don’t tell me Kerr’s been fussy again! I swear Mom always said gripe water worked so good for babies.
artcunning:
It’s not that I haven’t been keen on him. I think he’s great. I’m not so keen on losing my sister. I know I’m not losing you, but… I don’t know. Part of me feels like it’s… losing you…. for a lack of a better word.
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Well, it’s always been us. At galas and government doings and stupid business dinners, I mean, it was always just us kids and all the stupid grown-ups. I love it being us. I love you with my whole heart, Art. You’re never going to lose me, even when you really, really want to. I promise.
And hey, you know our house is always open. We’ve got lots of extra bedrooms we’re not filling with babies anytime soon, so you’d have your pick.
caseywestt:
Stone and Atti worked on that video for weeks. I didn’t know how we were going to be able to keep it a secret. All of the girls were singing Lover and not even Taylor’s part, Atti’s so it was like… you can’t even pretend they just listened to the original song over and over ‘cause it wasn’t even part of the song til the remix.
Literally he and I are the best couple because I was oblivious to everything! I had no idea. Thank you for your help! I’ll have to thank Stone too! You guys need to bring all the kids over sometime. We’ve got our huge ass front yard that I know Atti’d just love to run around and play ball in with ‘em.
taylorsharmon:
I know we don’t really know each other, but I cried. Like a baby. I love love. He is so romantic and dreamy. I’m jealous.
Oh! You’re the mother of Miles’ little girl, right? I’m Rae. You obviously know that already though...sorry - hi and thank you so much! He’s actually such a nerd but he’s got a heart of gold. I’m so excited.I hope you’ll come to my bridal shower and everything! Everyone’s invited to everything. We’re big family people.
brittonskye:
I’m so happy for you Rae! It was absolutely beautiful. Ask Caiden, I didn’t stop talking about it all weekend.
Aw, thank you, thank you. All weekend, huh? I love to hear that. You guys are gonna have to come over for dinner and a swim soon. Our pool should be finished in a week or less!
waverlysimmons:
I thought my proposal was romantic, Atti really topped Rooney.
Oh stop. It’s not a competition! I’m shocked either of our guys even pulled off proposals as sweet as they did. Do you have any wedding stuff planned yet? There’s so much to decide on; my brain is already melting.
greygood:
Sorry I wasn’t there. I figured you wouldn’t want to see me, so Av and I stayed home. I heard it was beautiful, though.
It was...beautiful. Don’t figure anything next time though, okay? I would’ve liked for everyone to be there. I mean, not that there’ll be a next time hopefully. But, you and Avalon are going to be invited to everything from here on out. These are happy times. I’m over it.
noelnagy:
I know things were weird between us for a minute, but I am genuinely happy for you, Rae. I teared up a little bit at the video. You and Atti were made for each other.
You are an amazing guy, Noel, genuinely. Thank you.
I want you to know you always have a friend in me. In us - Atti and me. Whenever, whatever you need.
mimipaloma:
Oooh, when do you want to go dress shopping? What season are you thinking? I’m so excited for you. Can I plan a bridal shower for you?
Mimi...I barely know what I’m eating for dinner tonight, please take a chill pill.
And yes, obvs. I need your help with everything! Atti gives off summer wedding energy, so, maybe then, though, I don’t want to melt. I guess I’ll have to ask him. He seems like he wants to be somewhat involved in the planning, so that’s good.
artcunning:
I know it’s not gonna be the same without dad, but if you’d let me, I’d like to walk you down the aisle. I mean, you can say no, but I was just thinking it could be a possibility. I’m glad Atti let us all be there. And for the record, he did ask me for my blessing so…. You’re welcome, big sis.
Oh, well there are all of my other brothers I was thinking of walking me down instead of you...I can’t believe mom and dad had all those other sons. What was it? Sixteen of them?
Not. Arthur, I wouldn’t walk down the aisle unless you were by my side. Of course you’re going to walk me down. And thank you. Honestly. I know you and Atti have had your moments when you haven’t been so keen on him, so, it means a lot.
attireeves:
I think about my parents all the time, so I get it. I do. I know my parents would be thrilled, and I hope yours would be too. Do you like your ring? I had a hard time picking our the setting. I wanted it to be special.
My mom would still be crying happy tears. And no, I don’t like it. I love it. It’s perfect. You’re perfect. I love you. I can’t believe you pulled that all off so seamlessly. It kinda makes me wanna make a baby with you right now. I bet I’d look cute as a pregnant bride...
mayaelwood:
Not to be that person, but… have you called to tell Booker yet? He’s probably still in love with you, ya know.
I’m risking sounding like the worst person ever right now, Mai, but if I’m being honest...I haven’t even thought of him. I mean, I hope he’s doing well and all, but I’ve made my peace with that. With him. He hasn’t reached out in so long. It’d be weird to call him up now and say, “Hey, how you doing? Oh, also, real quick, Atti and I are getting married.”
PRESENT DAY
“Babe, why don’t we go see a movie tonight? It might be fun to get out of the house… I’ll even let you pick,” Atti said, pulling his mug out of the cupboard.
Rae thought for a moment, sitting at the table in the breakfast nook, “Hm… maybe. Could we go to the drive in?”
Atti smirked a bit, pouring freshly brewed coffee, “Sounds perfect. I think they’re playing some old romcom for Valentine’s Day. We’ll have to bring snacks, though.”
“Sounds good,” Rae said, and Atti wondered if she had actually even been listening.
17 MONTHS EARLIER
“Taylor!” Atti said, his ear pressed to the phone. He stood on the back porch of Nora’s house, claiming he was taking a call from his manager…. he wasn’t. Not at all. He looked around to make sure no one was near-by. It was the September of 2019, and the Lover album had just dropped. Of course, everyone at Nora’s was obsessed–Rae and Atti included.
“Atticus Reeves, to what do I owe the pleasure of speaking with you on a Sunday afternoon?! What’s up? How’s it going? What are you up to?”
“Okay, listen, I don’t have a ton of time to talk,” Atti immediately said. Taylor was concerned, he could tell by her silence. “I’m proposing to Rae. And it has to be perfect, and I was wondering if I could borrow your song Lover to make a little video for her?”
When Atti and Rae broke up, he revealed he was going to propose. He even gave the ring to her. She was mad, rightfully so, but when they got back together, Atti knew he’d marry her. He knew instantly. If they could make it through that rough of a patch, they could make it through anything. And when he got her back, he didn’t want to let her go. He had asked the producers to borrow some footage and he found some videos he had taken himself, and he had the help from Stone…. they were going to put a video together, of the two of them. He wanted to show her this video when he proposed. He wanted to turn her life into a movie. Into the part of the movie girls play over and over because they’re so jealous… And Atti knew he wanted to use Lover as the song to back the video.
Taylor thought on the phone for a while, but then she said, “How about we do one better? Come record a remix of the song with me, and we can use that. I think she’d appreciate hearing your voice. A ton of girls are going to be proposed to with that song playing, and as proud of it as I am, you should sing it. You have a great voice, Att, and I want you to sing it with me.”
“Okay, I’ll book a flight out tomorrow….. I’ll write a verse or two toni–” Rae had snuck out the door, waving him to come in… it was time to leave Nora’s, “I gotta go, I’ll talk to you later.”
When asked what it was about, Atti lied and said he needed to rerecord a song down in LA that weekend… there were deadlines he couldn’t miss and one of the takes just wasn’t working out.
PRESENT DAY
“Sour gummy worms or gummy bears?” Rae called.
“Uh,” his stomach was in knots. He couldn’t quite think about it. He felt like he couldn’t breathe or think or talk to swallow or eat. He found the new ring buried in a junk drawer Rae didn’t dare look at, and he shoved it into the pocket of his pants. “Gummy bears!”
“Really?” Rae hesitated in asking. “I mean, okay… You don’t usually choose gummy bears.”
“Yeah, I‘m just feelin’ ‘em tonight is all!”
He made sure to dab cologne on his wrists and neck. He threw on a shrit that was nice, but not too nice, and a pair of comfortable shoes. He looked fine…. At least that’s what he was going t0 tell himself. A photographer was coming to capture the moment.
Though it was freezing in February in Washington, Atti was going to make Rae get out of the car to watch the video so he could do the whole get-down-on-one-knee and tell-her-how-much-she-means thing.
6 MONTHS EARLIER
“How did you do it?” Atti asked Travis over a glass of scotch.
Travis shrugged, glancing into the living room where Milania sat with their two daughters–something Atti had admired about Travis’ life. He also admired that Travis was so devoted to Milania. He would do anything for her. Anything to make her happy. Atti prayed for love like that, and he thought he found it with Rae.
“I just looked at her, got down on one knee, and asked her to marry me. I knew she was going to say yes, so I didn’t over think it. It was late and it was dark out, but I knew I loved her… and I told her. I told her how I couldn’t think about a life without her because it hurt too much. I told her that I would never be the same with out her, and that she makes my life infinitely times better… And I mean look at her. Look at them. That’s what I saw, that’s what I wanted, and I needed her to know that.”
“That’s awesome, man. Beautiful, really.”
“You thinking about proposing?” Travis asked, quickly tapping Atti on the arm with the back of his hand.
Atti shrugged, “Maybe.”
What Travis didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.
PRESENT DAY
“Not too many people are here,” Rae said. “Maybe we’ll get a front row spot!”
“Looks like we will,” Atti replied. There was a lump forming in his throat. It didn’t seem like she knew at all. The Wedding Planner and My Best Friend’s Wedding were playing back-to-back on the double feature night, but what Rae didn’t know was that the video Atti and Stone had been working on was going to play before…. mixed in with the previews.
Atti payed the $30 to park and they were able to tune in to the right radio station. They got comfy in the front seat, and Atti immediately regretted the gummy bear decision. The ads were starting at the beginning of the movies, and Atti turned to Rae and said, “Hey, I’m sorry… I need to stretch my legs. Will you come stand outside with me for a few minutes?”
“Uh, sure, I guess, you big weirdo.” Rae said. She opened her car door, and they went and leaned against the hood of the car. “Having some separation anxiety?” She teased.
Atti wrapped an arm around her shoulders and rested his cheek on top of her head. The video was going to play any minute.
6 DAYS EARLIER
“Dude!” Atti shouted, standing in the office at Casey and Stone’s house. “That’s so badass. Thank you so much.”
“I’m gonna make Casey go with me to see it all happen, and I’m gonna cry like a fuckin’ baby.” Stone said.
Atti and Stone watched the video four more times, and by the time they finished, they were both in tears. Atti knew Casey and Stone had been engaged for years but hadn’t gotten married yet. He didn’t know why, but with as many kids as they had, Atti figured they were busy and had their hands full.
“Do you think she’s gonna like it?” Atti said, fully enamored with the video.
Stone looked over at him and with his signature Stone-smirk said, “I think she’s gonna love it.”
PRESENT DAY
The screen took a long pause, it was dark. Rae looked down at her phone, and Atti became worried she wasn’t going to look up. The video started playing, and his stomach absolutely dropped.
“Is that your voice?” Rae asked, finally breaking her focus from her phone to the screen. And her smile dropped when she saw herself.
5 HOURS EARLIER
“Tonight?!” Kennedy roared.
“Tonight!” Atti confirmed. He looked over to Eli, who was beaming. “ANd I want you all to be there…. but she’s going to recognize your cars…. So i rented 7 cars, the keys are on the kitchen table… pick up the cars and get to the drive in by 5:45. We should be there by 6.”
“Do you really think you can pull this off?” Kelsie asked in a very Kelsie-way.
Atti took a deep breath and let it all out, looking over at Mimi who was already crying, “I’m sure as hell gonna try.”
NOW
The video ended, and Rae looked over at Atti. He took her hand, leading her a few steps away from the car.
“Rae Louise Cunningham…”
Still holding her hand, he slipped a hand into his pocket and lowered himself to his right knee so he’d be open towards the photographer… he knew his angles.
“…There has not been a day since I met you back in 2014 that I haven’t been absolutely in love with you…”
He pulled the ring box from his shorts.
“…You’ve been there every step of the way. You’ve seen the good, the bad, the ugly. You’ve been my rock and my best friend through it all…”
She covered her mouth with both her hands.
“…And I can’t picture life without you. I don’t want to know life without you. I want to live every day for the rest of my life by your side, and I want you to be the mother of my children…”
He could see the tears in her eyes.
“…I meant everything I said. It was you. It has always been you. Everything I do is about you…”
He could see her smiling though she was still trying to cover her face.
“Rae Louise,” he opened the ring box to reveal a diamond ring… a diamond he had gotten from one of his mother’s rings. “Will you make me the luckiest man in the world and be my wife?”
And as he asked, Arthur, Mimi, Nora, Eli, Caiden, Ree, and Maya emerged from the separate cars they were in.
“What do you say?”