Golden Chain of Fate CHAPTER 7 - Un-Shared Pain/Shared Pleasure
CHAPTER 0 - Flash-forward ✧ CHAPTER 1 - Your Fated One ✧ CHAPTER 2 - Crystal Clear ✧ CHAPTER 3 - Memory of a Monster ✧ CHAPTER 4 - The Words Between the Pages ✧ CHAPTER 4.5 - Double Ouroboros ✧ CHAPTER 5 - Reluctantly Repaired ✧ CHAPTER 6 - Violent Dreams
DS1 Higgs ✧ f!reader ✧ no use of y/n ✧ can also be found on Ao3
synopsis: It took the death of your family for your DOOMs to fully manifest itself, and it brought with it, a golden cord of fate. It was connected to the person that fate had decided was your destiny, the one that was your other half, your eternal love. But as it turns out, you should have realised why they call having DOOMs "suffering", because fate had decided to be cruel. You weren't connected with a cord. No - it was a chain, forever tethering you to a man you could never love.
overall content warning: swearing, explicit sexual content, eventual smut, dubious consent, unrequited love, unhealthy relationship, threats of violence/sexual violence, abduction, held against your will, obsessive behaviour, manipulative behaviour, forced relationship, descriptions of canonical child abuse (physical/implied sexual), hurt no comfort, injury detail, descriptions of self-harm scars, violence and blood, murder, forced proximity, forced orgasm, non-consensual drugging, inability to give consent (additional tags to be added & each chapter lists its specific warnings)
I can't seem to write short chapters lol. I think this is the longest chapter yet! Sorry!
This is the last chapter before we reach our flash-forward and Sammy-boy makes his cameo (and all hell proceeds to break loose). If you thought this has been angsty so far, just wait until we get into our second act ;)
Also because you all asked after the last chapter — yes, I did kiss this brick before I threw it. Although … hm … a brick isn’t quite painful enough ……. oh, I got it. Yes. I did kiss this knife before I plunged it through your heart ♡ And I will continue to kiss it in between thrusts, because I’m afraid to say, it gets much worse before it gets better. But it does get better, I promise.
As always, if you'd like to be on a taglist, please let me know! Sorry if I've forgotten anyone! (Also let me know if you no longer want to be tagged, I won't be offended) @thehouseoflore, @whateversnice, @marsonthemoon000, @necromantiste, @kymarmstrong, @higgshub, @nothingthere2see, @sanguis-ghouls-blog, @ohnogovno
chapter summary: After spending a few blissful weeks alone, you’re brought to a different Homo-Demen’s encampment, where you find yourself at the mercy of the man who somehow has the audacity to feel that you’ve betrayed him.
chapter specific warnings: explicit sexual content ✧ swearing ✧ extremely dubious consent ✧ lack of capacity to safely consent ✧ non-consensual drugging ✧ finger f**cking ✧ oral (f receiving) ✧ restraints ✧ coming untouched ✧ coming in pants ✧ forced orgasm ✧ mentions of past canonical abuse/child abuse ✧ unreliable narrator ✧ heavy angst ✧ dialogue heavy
CHAPTER 7 - Un-Shared Pain/Shared Pleasure
The warm morning sun caressed your skin as you knelt on the cool grass, still damp with early morning dew. Considering that you’d begun this delivery while the sun was still sleeping, you usually would have enjoyed this moment of peace as you felt the sun awaken and begin to melt early morning frost. And you might have even enjoyed it right now, if it weren’t for the rifles being pointed at you.
They’d made no effort to conceal their approach, and you’d made no effort to flee, because once you saw the low morning sun reflecting off the gold accents of their black and gold armour, you knew there was simply no point. You’d rolled your eyes as they’d approached, because of course that asshole couldn’t leave you alone, no surprise there. What was a surprise though, was the lack of said asshole in the group of men who were approaching you. So, seeing that he didn’t even have the audacity to kidnap you himself, you made sure to make it as difficult as possible for them. This still of course, resulted in you being on your knees, but it also meant your split lip was curled in content amusement at the fact you’d managed leave some marks in return.
After leaving Higgs’ bunker and the so-called “medical attention” that he’s so kindly made necessary, you’d managed to have a few peaceful weeks alone — weeks alone that had been an adequate amount of time to, contrary to Higgs’ belief, finish healing your wound all by yourself. And while you’d hoped that you’d offended Higgs enough to make him stop pursuing you, you’d once again managed to find yourself back in a Homo-Demen’s encampment.
After being brought to the camps most elaborately adorned tent and secured to the centre pole, you’d been left alone — completely alone, no guards to be seen, not even standing guard outside the tent flaps.
This was obviously a command given by their smug asshole of a boss, a subtle insult to the power you had in this situation, one that said that even you were able to get free of the leather cuff that restrained your arms behind your back, there was no way you’d be able to sneak out of this encampment undetected.
This unspoken gesture pissed you off more than you wished it had, and seeing that you’d spent hours alone cuffed in this tent, you were justifiably raging by the time Higgs finally graced you with his diving fucking presence. You made sure to greet him the way he deserved — lovingly — with snarling anger.
“What the fuck Higgs?!”
The rage inside you began burning even hotter when Higgs didn’t even have decency to acknowledge you as he entered the tent, not even bothering to look at you out of the corner of his eye as he walking over to place his gear down on a nearby table.
“You claim to want me so bad but you can’t even kidnap me yourself? Gotta have your pathetic band of lackeys do it for you?” You spat in Higgs’ direction. “Bet they’d hump your boot like obedient little dogs if you asked them to wouldn’t they?”
You watched as Higgs continued to systematically remove the rest of his gear, his hands deftly working to unclasp cargo belts and remove armour plates like they’d done countless times before.
“I was shocked when they turned up without you. I’m honestly surprised you’d pass up such a good opportunity to manhandle me.”
As your golden cord flickered like static in the short distance between you, it was letting you know how strong Higgs’ emotions were right now. Even before he’d entered the tent, you knew he was feeling both angry and hurt, and you knew that the combination of both of those emotions at once meant only one thing — betrayal.
“You’re fucking pathetic. The fuck could I have possibly done to betray you? I don’t owe you anything Higgs.”
Higgs’ movements stalled. His gear now fully removed, he was left in only his cargo pants and a tight black long-sleeved shirt — tight enough that you could see his back muscles tense as his fingers gripped the edge of the table. As he tried to maintain his composure, you heard a faint noise that sounded like wood splintering as his knuckles whitened around the tables edge.
You didn’t need to be looking at him to know he was clearly struggling to contain some sort of rage, because the cord was letting you know he was once again battling with conflicting desires — the desire to hurt you, and the desire to prevent affecting your opinion of him any more negatively.
As you watched him take a deep shaky breath, you felt a shiver course through you that made your hair stand on end, because even though in the past he had let the desire to love you win, you knew just how unpredictable he could be.
“The fuck is this about?”
After another deep staggered breath to steel his resolve, Higgs finally acknowledged you.
And you immediately wished he hadn’t.
Higgs turned to you with an expression that you didn’t trust. No, it wasn’t the expression you didn’t trust, it was how quickly he’d donned it, instantly shifting between a look that was indistinguishable between anger and hurt, to a pleasant, apologetic smile that you knew was in no way real — plastered falsely over his lips, but not reaching his eyes.
“I realised I’ve been such an awful husband, never once askin’ you ‘bout your family.”
W-what?
It felt like your heart stopped completely. Not only had you not expected those words, you’d also never have been able to predict that he’d speak them in that tone. It was far too gentle for the emotions you knew he was feeling, and it was so fake that it seemed to have no life to it at all.
Knowing him as you do, you’d have expected him to have brought you here for some kind of implicitly sexual reason, but upon hearing that? Fuck. You realised you’d actually have preferred it if he had brought you here for a sexual reason — you were not expecting this and right now, you distrusted his intentions more than you ever had before.
“You mean the family you murdered?”
You attempted to mask your distrust as a hateful bite, but it did nothing to wipe that terrifyingly false grin from his face.
“The very same. Tell me about them.”
The smile on his face was gentle, but it didn’t match the anger and hurt in his eyes, or the feeling of betrayal that the cord was telling you he was currently letting fuel his actions.
You writhed against your restraints. “Why do I need to be restrained to have this conversation?”
“What do you miss the most?” Higgs slowly moved to kneel in front of you before lowering himself to sit on his ankles.
His proximity made you shudder. You didn’t like him like this, and you found yourself actually wishing he was acting like he usually did. You knew for a fact that the cord was undermining any attempt you were making to mask your fear and you actually wished he was making some sort of smug comment about how hard you were trying to deceive him.
“I — I don’t —” Higgs’ proximity was only serving you make you panic even more. You wanted out of these restraints, and out of this tent. “Fuck you Higgs, I’m not talking to you about the people you killed. Untie me.”
“Maybe you miss their warm hugs? Their loving smiles?”
Even kneeling, his presence was still imposing, and at this proximity, the intentionally false grin that curled his lips was even more unsettling — a forced gentleness that didn’t match the maelstrom of hurt in his eyes, wet and dangerous, threatening to pull anything and everything into their dark depths.
“The fuck is this Higgs?” You continued to writhe against your restraints as an intentional attempt to prevent Higgs seeing how much you were starting to tremble. You didn’t trust this line of questioning, especially not when you knew how angry and hurt he was feeling.
“Tell me how much you loved your family.”
He was no longer asking questions. He was making demands. His voice and smile continued to be terrifyingly calm for the emotion that was blazing through the cord.
“No.”
You realised that in addition to the unsettling fear that was causing you to tremble, there was an aching in your chest. For some reason you felt conflicted in a way that was similar to the time that you’d dreamt about Higgs as a child, the feeling of pity and acceptance that conflicted with your feelings of hatred and spite. However, this was something more than that, something stronger. And it hurt.
The more you focused on it, the more you felt your temples start to throb as a migraine started to make its imminent arrival well and truly known.
Higgs’ forced gentle tone persisted as he demanded again, separating each part of his sentence to emphasis his words. “Tell me. How much. You loved. Your family.”
“I’m not talking to you about them.”
“You don’t have to, just tell me how much you loved them. How much you miss them.”
How much you missed them. Missed them. You did miss them. Right?
As you attempted to recall an image of your family, you realised you couldn’t picture them clearly. In fact, you couldn’t remember anything about them clearly. It was as if your memories were being viewed through steam fogged glass.
“W-why? What the fuck is this Higgs?”
“You know why you won’t tell me how much you loved them? No? That’s okay darling. I do.” You were frozen in fearful anticipation as Higgs leant in to speak close to your face. “You won’t tell me how much you loved them —” Higgs’ overly false, pleasant grin faded instantly. “—because you didn’t.”
Fuck. No. No, he couldn’t possibly know that. “W-what?”
“You hate me for killing your family? Darlin’ you didn’t even love them.”
The betrayal he’d been feeling this entire time was now finally reflected in his tone, his words laced with a hurt that was well and truly reflected on his face.
“They were my family, of course I loved them.”
Of course you loved your family. You mourned them. That’s why you hated Higgs, because he killed them when he blew up Middle Knot. Right? That’s why you’d been so resistant to your golden cord connecting you to him. Right?
You winced as you felt a sudden stabbing pain, like an icepick had stabbed through your temple and had lodged itself behind your eye. The harder you tried to remember anything about your family, the more the migraine that was lingering in your temple started to throb. Why couldn’t you recall their faces?
“No. No you didn’t love them. And if you did, you shouldn’t’ve. Some families ain’t worth loving.”
You couldn’t recollect anything to justify his claim, your mind blurry and your head throbbing as you tried to picture your family. How he could possible know what when you can’t even remember? And why couldn’t you remember?
“What are you — how would you know —”
“— I saw it, in my dream. Same way you dreamt you were that poor little boy, taking a beating from his Daddy. Last night, I dreamt I was a poor little girl.”
What?
Higgs’ expression softened as he met your gaze with one of acceptance — the type of acceptance that only comes from sharing in ones pain. The cord was letting you know that he was genuinely pitiful, however you could feel that he was still bubbling with anger and hurt.
“I felt the tiny hands over my ears, failing to muffle the words of abuse that were hurled at me. I felt the cigarette as it burned my skin, evidence of my bedwetting still clinging to my legs. I felt my stomach start to tear itself apart in hunger as I sat locked in that dark closet.”
“Stop.” No, no that’s not right.
“I felt the foundation being forcefully applied over my bruised skin, masking the abuse so that no one would ask any questions. I felt my lungs scream for air as strong hands held me under the bath water. I felt my skin burn as the occasional tiniest drop of timefall leaked through the holes in that metal box. I felt the hands touchin’ my body as they —”
“— shut up!” No that couldn’t have happened. You’d mourned them.
“They deserved to die for what they did to you. I did you a fucking favour.”
“No. No, I — I loved my family. That didn’t happen.”
Your head was pounding as you tried to reconcile the events of Higgs’ dream with your memories. Surely if something so horrible had happened, you’d remember right?
While you couldn’t remember any of that, if you’d had a chance to think about it, you’d have realised you couldn’t remember anything that proved him wrong either.
“Yes it did happen sweetheart. There ain’t no point denyin’ it anymore. I’ve seen the truth, just like you saw mine.”
No. No this is wrong. The harder you tried to remember, the stronger that conflicting feeling ached in your chest. It was as if the golden cord was trying to tell you something, let you know you should be feeling a certain emotion. But what emotion? As you tried to focus on it, it almost felt like — remorse? For how you’d treated Higgs? No, that couldn’t be right.
“You have no idea how much it hurt to wake from that dream and realise we’re the same.”
Higgs’ face softened as he reached a gentle hand to cup your jaw, resting his palm under your chin. You didn’t trust the gentle look in his eyes and way his thumb delicately caressing your cheek, because the cord was letting you know how hurt he was feeling right now.
Higgs continued to speak softly and gently. “You got no idea how much it hurt to know that you got treated like that. How much it hurt to know that you went through all those terrible things when you were so small. I was in agony thinkin’ ‘bout them doing those things to you. But just when I thought I couldn’t hurt more —” You hissed as Higgs’ gentle grip on your chin turned harsh. “ — I remembered you’d already dreamt the same about me.”
“Higgs I — “ Your words became a gasp as Higgs leant in close, his words filled with betrayal, his eyes swirling with hurt that was starting to dampen his lower lashes.
“ — you knew we were the fucking same! When you had that dream about my tiny body also being treated like that, you’d have known we were the same. When I appeared in your bunker than night, you could have comforted me, let me know that you share my pain, that I wasn’t alone.”
The wetness in Higgs’ eyes started to fall. “We could have bonded over it, become closer cause of it. But no, of course that ain’t what happened. You found out that we had something terrible in common, and you decided to let me continue to suffer all by myself.”
Higgs’ lip twitched as his tears started to drag black kohl down his cheeks. “And you continue to make me suffer when you force all those emotions on me. The hatred, the disgust, the spite — you got no idea how much it hurts to realise that all those emotions should actually be relief. You should be thankin’ me, not hating me. You should’ve fallen at my goddamn feet an’ praised the earth I stand on for ridding you of those monsters. But no, instead I’m the monster.”
“You are the monster. It doesn’t matter whether I loved my family or not, you still killed tens of thousands of innocent people. I still have every reason to despise you.”
“You have no reason to despise me! I also killed the so-called “family” who treated you like a piece of shit. You keep sayin’ I’m the problem, that it’s me who’s misinterpreting the meanin’ of our connection — but it’s you sweetheart. I knew your DOOMs connected us for a fucking reason. The second you realised who was on the other end of this cord, you should’ve felt thankful for me killin’ your family. We could have bonded over our past, found comfort in our shared experiences.”
“I’d never have bonded —” Your words became a mumble as Higgs thrust his hand over your mouth.
“You keep sayin’ that this connection is a curse. But it was a gift. When it appeared, it gifted something to us both. It gifted me someone who, for once, should actually be grateful for my actions. A person who my violence actually helped rather than hurt. An’ it gifted you a connection to the man who made sure your cruel fucking family finally got what they deserved. What part of that isn’t a fucking gift?!”
Higgs choked down a sob as he took a few deep, ragged breaths.
“I could give you everything. Safety, love, affection — but you’re choosin’ to hate me cause I killed a few people you hate, and a few thousand people you didn’t even fuckin’ know. You got any idea how much that hurts me?”
Higgs let his hand slip from your mouth as his eyes pierced yours with a desperate look of longing — one that you had the luxury of watching fade.
“You have any idea how much it hurts me that I’m chained to you?”
Higgs huffed through his nose as he rose to his feet, his fists clenched as if containing a deep-seated rage. He shook his head in disbelief.
“You can say you hate me all ya want, but that “chain”’s still here. Surely that means something. Surely if we weren’t supposed to be together it would’ve disappeared. Gimme one good reason why you refuse to accept my love?”
Just one? You could think of sooo many. However you apparently took too long to reply.
Higgs chuckled with no amusement whatsoever. “Fuck me. See, you ain’t got one do you?”
“No. I have several.” You steeled your resolve, now intent on dealing as much damage as possible. “You’re a terrorist. A murderer. A mass murderer. You continue to force your so-called “love” on me, even though I’ve explicitly told you I don’t want it. You continue to kidnap me and hold me against my will. You gave me a near-fatal injury so that you could play doctor and pretend you were the hero. You continue to force your proximity on me. You keep making sexual advances even though I’ve told you I don’t want you. You’re trying to hasten our extinction cause some woman looked at you like you mattered while she told you it was inevitable. All you do is hurt people Higgs.”
“I ain’t ever intentionally —”
“— don’t you dare say you’ve never hurt me.”
The air hung silent and heavy for a moment, charged with a sense of mutual understanding, one that came from the acknowledgement that he had in fact hurt you. Although the cord was letting you know that he wasn’t feeling any remorse for his actions at all — a realisation that made you feel sick, especially when combined with the words he spoke next.
“Everything I’ve ever done for you, has been done out of love.” The cord was letting you know that he wholeheartedly meant that. “You’re the only person in this entire goddamn world that I care about.”
“You have a fucked up way of showing it.”
“It’s all I fucking have!”
“Well I don’t want it!”
“Okay. Fine.” Higgs closed his eyes and paused for a moment as if he was giving his mood a complete reset. “Guess I’ll have to try somethin’ else then.”
“What does that mean? Nothing you do will make me fall for you.”
“I’ll make you fall for me sweetheart. I promise you, I will.” Higgs walked over to the heavy wooden desk and opened the drawer. “You’re so focused on what your mind is telling you to think about me, that you won’t explore the feelings the cord wants us to feel. But it’s okay darlin’, I’m gonna help you explore those feelings. I’m gonna prove you want me as much as I want you.”
“That’s never going to happen.”
With his back to you, you couldn’t see what he was doing, but his arm movements made you suspect that he raised something up to his mouth. But as Higgs abruptly turned and beelined towards you, your suspicious meant nothing, because there was nothing you could do to stop him when he knelt and thrust his lips against yours. And as he forced his tongue through your lips, there was nothing you could do to prevent liquid from pouring in too. You were hit with a metallic taste that was so strong that your tastebuds actually started to sting. Higgs kept his lips sealed against yours, moaning as he continued to kiss you deeply, but you knew what he was really doing was making you breathless enough to swallow.
And unfortunately, that’s exactly what happened.
The second you swallowed, Higgs pulled away, his lips immediately curling into a mischievous grin.
“The fuck?!” You spat several times, attempting to get rid of the disgusting metallic liquid that Higgs had kissed into your mouth. But you knew it was too late. “W-what was in your mouth?”
“Nothin’ that’ll harm ya.”
The sheepish grin on his face told you that was a lie. You tugged against your restraints in earnest as the tingling in your mouth started to warm exponentially, your face flushing hot.
“I’ve had enough of your fucking shit Higgs! Untie me!”
Your gaze of anger was met with one of false gentleness, and it sent a shiver down your spine.
“As you wish my love.”
His words were artificially loving, however his actions were true as he moved to kneel behind you. You felt his hands begin to work at unlocking the cuffs.
“W-wait. You’re actually letting me go?”
You highly doubted he was, and while the fact that he was undoing your restraints should have made you feel relieved, his actions and the metallic taste in your mouth were only serving to make you feel even more fearful of his intentions.
Higgs chuckled playfully. “Mmm yes ’n no. I really just want your hands free in case you finally decide ya wanna touch me.”
You scoffed in disgust. “The only way I’m touching you is if you cut off my hands and place them on your body.”
“Ouch. That hurt sweetheart.” The cord and the sarcasm in his voice told you that it most certainly did not.
Your hands now free, you rolled your wrists and flexed your fingers to relieve the ache, as you jumped to your feet. As you did, the room seemed to spin slightly, causing you to have to close your eyes to regain your sense of equilibrium. Odd, must just be because you’d been sitting for too long and stood up so quickly.
“I’m leaving.”
Higgs was suspiciously unfazed as you stormed over to where your cargo backpack had been left when you’d first been brought into the tent. As you wrapped your fingers around the strap, you felt them tingle, your grip weak as if you didn’t quite have the strength to pick it up.
“You sure you’re leavin’?”
Even if Higgs’ question hadn’t made you suspicious enough for your feet to freeze on the spot, you wouldn’t have made it far from the tent anyway. You were suddenly hit with a dizzying sensation — one that made your knees lose all their strength.
“W-what —” Just as you felt your knees give way, you felt Higgs break your fall.
“Shh shh shh, you’re okay I’ve gotcha. There ya go, nice ’n’ easy.” Higgs spoke soothingly as he gently scooped you up into his arms.
“Y-you did drug me.” It wasn’t a question, and you didn’t need him to answer. Because as the corners of your vision blurred and began sparkling with gold particles, you already knew.
“Yeah. Nothin’ too bad though, just a little somethin’ to stop that mind of yours interfering with experiencing your true feelin’s for me. Need your hatred-fuelled brain to give me a chance to show you it’s got it all wrong.”
As your eyes shut momentarily to try and stop your vision from spinning, you felt yourself being lowered down onto something soft. When you opened your eyes, Higgs was hovering above you, his face level with yours.
“But — that means y-you also drugged yourself. Willingly. So what did you —”
“— chiralium.” Higgs winked as he stuck out his tongue. You could see it shimmer with gold particles. “Don’t worry, it was heavily diluted. Wouldn’t achieve much by killin’ ya. You most certainly can’t handle the amount I can.”
“What? Why?” You attempted to raise your head to figure out where he’d placed you, but your head was suddenly far too heavy to hold up for more than a few seconds. However, what you did see in those few seconds, instantly made all your concerns about his intentions, completely justified. “Why‘m I on a —”
“— mattress? Thought it’d be more comfortable than the floor. It’ll certainly be more comfortable for my knees.”
“What are you —” Panic started to set in as you saw Higgs’ eyes start to devour your body, up and down then back up to meet your gaze while he moved a hand to gently stroke your cheek. “No don’t — don’t touch me.”
“Don’t worry darlin’, I ain’t gonna hurt ya. Quite the opposite in fact.”
You planted your palms against his chest, an attempt to push him away that only resulted in you feeling a low rumble of amusement in his chest.
“Get off.”
As you attempted to apply pressure, your muscles felt weak and tingly, an uncomfortable tingling sensation akin to pins and needles — if pins and needles also caused a prickly heat.
He was too close, far too close. As your vision continued to glisten with golden particles, you suddenly felt completely overwhelmed, more so than you already had from his imposing proximity alone. Because in that moment you realised, while you were staring to lose strength and sensation in your body, you could sense everything else.
Everything. Else.
Your palms felt like they were burning as they lay flat against against his chest — the chest that felt like it housed a jackhammer as his heartbeat hammered against your hand. You could feel the heat emanating from his entire body, see the sweat already glistening on his neck as his veins thrummed and pulsed. You could see the arousal swirling in those bright blue eyes, his pupils dilated either from lust or the chiralium that was also coursing through his veins.
And he was close enough now that you could smell him. He smelled the same as he always did, that hint of chiralium and a hint of nicotine, mixed with a warm comforting richness, his scent filling you with a warmth akin to the feeling of a steaming hot drink warming you on a cold frosty morning.
You hated that his scent always filled you with a comforting warmth, but right now, as that comforting warmth spread lower? It was also so goddamn intoxicating. You shuddered as you let it overwhelm your senses with its comforting presence, making you feel safe and warm, making you want to sink into his embrace and — no, fuck no! No, you didn’t want that. This was the chiralium’s doing, making all your senses more sensitive and preventing you from thinking rationally.
Higgs seems to flash a brief grin as if he knew exactly how you were feeling about him right now. And of course, because of the cord, he did, however you got the sense that his smirk contained a secret.
“Mmmhh. Feel that?” Higgs moaned as he ran his fingers through the golden cord that crossed the now very short distance between your chests. It seemed to react positively to his touch, its static-y texture flickering and dancing around his fingertips while it sent pulses of pleasure through both of your bodies. “The cord seems to like it when we’re this close, like it knows this is where we’re meant to be. Doesn’t it feel so fuckin’ beautiful? Imagine how amazing it would feel if our chests were actually touchin’.”
“Don’t you —” The words struggled as they came out, slightly slurred but also requiring significantly more effort to form into a coherent sentence. “Don’t you dare.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t. I’ll wait ’til you change your mind about touchin’ me. But before we get to that. There’s something I’ve neglected to tell you.”
As he spoke, he trailed a finger gently through the creases and folds of your porters jumpsuit, his fingertips occasionally playfully flicking the zipper.
“Remember that day when you broke into my bunker an’ read my journal? How I made myself come to prove that our connection makes us share each other’s orgasms? Well, I didn’t really need to look ‘between your pages’ to find the truth. I already knew. I’m afraid to say that I also knew every single time you were aroused while you were recoverin’ in my bunker. And darlin’, it was quite often. You got no idea how much you tested my self-control.”
“F-fuck — you.”
“Hah. Sweetheart I always know when ya want to, even without our precious golden connection. Cause ya see, my DOOMs didn’t just give me the ability to jump an’ summon BT’s. It also enhanced all my senses. So every time you tell me you’re not turned in my presence — I can smell that you’re lyin’.”
The fuck? “Y-you can — smell when I’m aroused?”
“Sure can.” Higgs moaned as he snaked his head around yours, inhaling deeply as his nose brushed against the side of your cheek. “’an darlin’, It makes you smell so deliciously sweet.”
“You’re — disgusting.” Your words were coming slower now as your brain continued to try and fight the chiralium.
“Hah. Sure am babydoll, and considerin’ the way you smell right now —” Higgs moaned over-exaggeratedly as he took another deep inhale. “mmmhhhh — so are you. You love this don’t’cha? Bein’ completely under my control?”
“No I — I don’t.” The more you tried to fight the chiralium, the more it seemed to stop your words coming out coherently.
Higgs chuckled low and deep. “Darlin’, there ain’t no point denyin’ it. Even if our beautiful golden cord wasn’t lettin’ me know how much pleasure you’re feelin’ right now — I can smell it.”
“Fuck you.”
“I’m afraid to say, I can also hear your heart beat. An’ sweetheart —” Higgs raised his head from the crook of your neck to meet your gaze with a sheepish smirk. “— it ain’t your chest where I can hear it the loudest.”
He chuckled deeply. “Tell me, what is it that’s got ya throbbin’ for me? What are you hopin’ll happen? Hopin’ I’ll do to ya?”
“N-nothing.”
“Oh darlin’, I’m afraid that the one thing I won’t do. You’ve got no idea the beautiful, disgusting things I’d do to you if you’d let me. The ways I’d make you feel.” Higgs lowered himself even closer to you, inhaling deeply and shakily as be buried his head into the crook of your neck. “All you have to do is ask, n’ baby I’m all yours.”
You gasped as you felt a wetness against your skin, Higgs’ tongue causing your skin to tingle with a prickly heat as he ran it up the side of your throat.
“No — don’t —” You attempted to push him away but your arms now lacked the strength to apply any meaningful pressure at all, and whatever minute trace of strength they may have had left, they’d now clearly used up — they feel back down against your body before flopping back down by your sides.
“Let it happen baby. Let the pleasure in.”
By letting your hands fall, that’s not what you were doing, but as Higgs began placing small kisses along your skin? It’s most certainly what happened.
Each touch of his soft warm lips sent electric shocks through your body, electric shocks that felt hot and tingly as your body attempted to fight the chiralium that was still raging war inside your veins.
You tried to focus on how much you didn’t want this, how much his touch was an assault against your unwillingness, how he’d drugged you to force you to comply, how he was taking advantage of you right now, just like he always did. You tried to focus on the hatred and disgust that you felt for him — but every touch of his soft wet lips against your skin reminded you that you were fighting a losing battle.
A battle that came closer to defeat as you felt Higgs’ fingertips trail across the dip at the base of your throat.
A battle that you lost, when you felt Higgs’ fingers caress lower in a delicate, seductive motion that shouldn’t have been possible — trailing a line down the centre of your chest, his fingers faltering as they reached the space between your breasts and ran over the centre of your bra, before continuing to trail down to run over the healing skin of the wound he’d caused.
And in that moment, you knew the chiralium had won. Not because of the flood of warmth that rushed to your core. Not even because you found yourself wishing he’d continued lower, trailing his fingers down to where you were now aching for his touch.
No. It was because the fact he was even able to touch you like that, meant that you’d been so lost in the sensation of his soft lips against your skin, that you hadn’t even realised he’d opened your jumpsuit.
You could feel yourself fully succumbing to the chiralium, your mind completely devoid of any rational thought as it only allowed you to focus on the sensations you were currently experiencing — the sensations that were disgustingly pleasurable.
“Fuck, you’re so goddamn soft.”
All you could focus on right now was the way Higgs’ lips felt against your skin. The way his fingers were caressing so delicately. Every touch felt electric, your skin tingling with a warm fuzzy sensation that was near-indistinguishable between pain and pleasure.
The inside of your eyelids sparkled like golden glitter as you shut your eyes tight, not wishing let Higgs overwhelm all of your senses. He was already overwhelming the rest of them, his breathy moans in your ear, his fingertips on your skin, his rich intoxicating scent in your nostrils, the taste of chiralium on your tongue.
You were thankful that you could at least have control over your vision, especially considering you were losing control over everything else. And as you felt Higgs’ moan reverberate through you as he sunk his teeth into your shoulder — you also lost control of your voice.
“Mmhhh —” The second your moan left your throat, you attempted to stifle the one that wanted to follow.
Higgs spoke against your skin, his voice hot and rich with arousal. “Don’t hide those moans from. Please baby, I need to hear it, hear how much you want my touch.”
“I — I don’t —” The harder you tried to deny the affects of the chiralium, the more it seemed to fight back, your mind becoming a verbal battle between your thoughts and the glistening, golden truth the chiralium was forcing you to feel.
You do want his touch. Let him hear the truth.
Higgs’ breath was now coming short and fast as he continued to place kisses and nibbles along your throat and shoulders, his fingers still caressing your bare torso with delicate teasing touches.
“You’ve got no idea how much I wanna feel you. How much I wanna feel my naked body against yours.”
No, no I don’t want that. Imagine how good his naked body would feel against you, combining your warmth as you writhe together.
“You got no idea how much I wanna explore your body with my tongue. How much I wanna feel myself enveloped in your warmth, snug an’ perfect like we were made for each other. How much I wanna feel you clench impossibly tight ‘round my cock as I sink my teeth into your shoulder.”
You could almost pinpoint the exact moment when the chiralium finally turned off your brain, drowning you in sensation — pleasurable sensation that that you no longer had the will to dispute, and because of the chiralium, you didn’t want to anyway.
“How much I wanna feel you comin’, knowin’ that you’re feeling all that pleasure cause of me. How much I wanna feel you come on my fingers. An’ on my tongue. An’ around my cock.”
Higgs was breathless when he met your gaze once more, beads of sweat glistening across his golden tattoos.
“Feel how good my fingers on your skin makes you feel? Imagine how good they’d feel —” You gasped as you felt a finger trail down between your clothed folds. “— down here.”
“Do ya want that? Do ya want me to touch you?” Higgs spoke close to your face, his words less of an attempt at seduction, and more of a plea of desperation and need. “I could make ya feel sooo fuckin’ good baby. Please. Please let me feel you. I know ya need it as badly as I do. Baby please.”
You could see Higgs’ eyes desperately searching yours for some sort of denial, a verbal ‘no’, a shake of a head, hell he’d take anything. But unfortunately, as you felt his fingers knead the soft skin of your thigh — you couldn’t give him one. And while your lack of response wasn’t a true denial, Higgs took it as an enthusiastic yes.
After seeing his eyes widen with arousal and excited anticipation, he left your field of view. You had no strength to lift your head to see what he was doing, and nor could you really feel it, your body now seemingly devoid of any sense of touch that wasn’t pleasurable. You only knew that Higgs was working your jumpsuit fully off your body because the occasional brush of his fingers against your skin sent waves of pleasure coursing up your spine. And you only knew he’d removed your panties because the cool air brought attention to just how much your body wanted this.
When Higgs returned to your line of sight, he met his lips to yours, moaning as he kissed you deeply and passionately, but also overwhelmingly desperately. The kiss lasted as long as it took for Higgs to trail a hand down between your bodies, because when he ran a finger through your folds, you both broke the kiss simultaneously.
“Mmhh —” You’d have cursed if you still had the brain capacity for words, but you didn’t, the chiralium forcing the focus to remain on the primal urges of lust and desire. Higgs however, still had words, and they’d lost all sense of control, coming out with a shaky desperation.
“Oh fuck —” He gasped shakily as he felt how wet you were. “— fuckin’ hell baby. See, I knew your body wanted me. I mean, I already knew, cause of the cord, and cause I could smell it but baby — this is somethin’ else.”
Your breath started coming short and fast as Higgs’ long, slender fingers continued to explore your folds, slow and calculated as if he was mapping the area. Long fingers parting your lips and swirling playfully through your wetness, fingertips flicking over your sensitive clit.
“Fuck — you’re so fuckin’ wet, an’ all cause of me.”
You were incapable of feeling the shame you normally would in this situation, and as Higgs brought his slick covers fingers up to his lips and popped them into his mouth, you found yourself unable to control the way your body reacted — you arched your hips up against him.
“Fuckin’ hell — you taste as sweet as you smell baby. I knew your body wanted me.” Higgs groaned as he shifted above you, moving his hips to straddle your thigh. “Feel how much my body wants you? That’s all for you baby. That’s how I feel every time I fuckin’ see ya. You got no idea what ya do to me.”
Your breath hitched as you felt him grind his bulge against you. He was hard, and as your brain continued to be overwhelmed by the chiralium, you found yourself wondering how good that hardness would feel inside you.
While your chiralium-addled brain lacked the mental capacity to form noises other than moans, Higgs on the other hand, didn’t stop talking, his words coming out breathy and filled with desperate desire.
“Mmmmnnhh —” Higgs continued to grind against your thigh, his hips rocking in short quick bursts. “— you feel so fuckin’ good baby.”
Your mind was singly focused on the feeling of Higgs’ fingers as he continued to slide them through your folds, each stroke of his finger over your clit igniting your body with pleasure that would have already been enough without the chiralium adding fuel to the fire, stoking the pleasure so that it became nearly indistinguishable from discomfort.
Higgs pressed his forehead to yours, mingling your respective breath as you both panted with pleasure — pleasure that you no longer had the ability to bury with your rational thoughts. Your entire body was on fire, burning with sensation as you felt Higgs tease his fingers at your entrance. And as you felt your walls stretch around his fingers, the sensation was so overwhelming that it seemed to knock the air right out of your lungs.
“Ah fuck — oh god, you’re so fuckin’ tight baby.” Higgs craned his neck to look down between your bodies, his fingers pushing and pulling slowly so he could watch them disappear inside you. “You got no idea how much I wanna feel my cock slidin’ in there. Feel your stretch around me. So fuckin’ tight.”
Higgs’ fingers continued to pump in and out of you as his thumb kneaded your clit. There were no thoughts rattling around in your brain, the chiralium having done its job and prevented your mind from doing anything but focus on the sensations and emotions that were happening right now — sensations and emotions that you were feeling because of Higgs. He was the only thing on your mind, not only what he was doing, but also the emotions that the cord was telling you he was feeling, and for once, they were aligned with your own — and it was beautiful.
You hadn’t felt this way since the cord had first appeared, filling you with hope and letting you bathe in the feeling of reciprocated love and devotion. All those beautiful emotions you felt early on, the ones that made you feel loved and accepted, knowing that the person on the other end of the cord felt the same, completely and unequivocally devoted to you — until you discovered just who was on the other end of your cord. Since then, those beautiful feelings had been intentionally stifled, buried by the hatred you felt for the man who killed your family.
But right now, with the chiralium doing exactly what Higgs had hoped it would, you felt them again. In this moment, you felt a peace you’d never experienced, knowledge that the two of you were sharing the same feelings of love, devotion, pleasure and acceptance that the cord wanted you to feel.
“You’re doin’ so good for me baby, so fuckin’ good. That feels good don’t it?”
It did, it so fucking did. If you’d been in control of your mind, you’d be doing everything in your power to combat the arousal he was causing you to feel. You’d be trying to convince yourself that you didn’t want this, and that your body’s reaction to his touch was an involuntary one. But you weren’t in control of your mind, the chiralium was — well, technically speaking, Higgs was.
You tried to focus on the fact that it was Higgs who was controlling your mind, making your senses more attune to the assault he was delivering, making you think you wanted it. However, you were still unable to focus on anything other than the pure, unbridled pleasure that he was causing you to feel.
“Fuck. Can still taste you on my tongue. You got no idea how much I wanna devour you. How much I wanna feel you flood my mouth when you come.” Higgs spoke hot against your skin, breath overwhelmed by moans and gasps.
The chiralium was clearly doing its job, clearing your mind of all the mental hindrances that were stopping you from exploring those feelings the cord wanted you to feel. Your mind was completely shut off, so unfortunately, you had no ability to filter yourself before the following word slipped through your lips, spoken in a desperate whisper.
“Please.”
Higgs’ entire body froze, fingers still resting between your folds, hips holding his clothed erection firm against your thigh — entire body frozen stiff so that his full attention could be moved to your face. His mouth hung open in disbelief, his eyes wide with shock as they searched yours desperately for confirmation that he’d heard what he thought he heard.
“Y-yeah?” The shakiness in his voice started to tremble his entire body as he began buzzing with anticipation.“Y-you want that? Wanna come in my tongue?”
You didn’t have the words to deny it, and thanks to the chiralium, you had no desire to. Right now, that was only thing you wanted.
Higgs’ eyes widened as the realisation hit him like a stack of bricks. “Oh — oh fuck.”
As your vision continued to gleam gold from the chiralium coursing through your system, you suddenly saw actual chiralium particles as Higgs chiral jumped from your field of view. Before you could even consider where he’d jumped to, you were hit with an overwhelming wave of pleasure as you felt him thrust his face between your legs — so eager to taste you that he’d decided chiral jumping was quicker than physically moving.
You moaned as you ached your back, your hips thrusting up to meet Higgs’ face as he moaned into you.
“Oh god — mmmh you taste so fuckin’ good.” He spoke against you, voice shuddering as much as his body now was, overwhelmed with sensation and pleasure.
Each moan vibrating through you as Higgs began to lap at your wetness, letting his tongue explore his folds as his fingers dug into the apex of your thighs.
Each thrum of your rapidly beating heart caused your vision to pulse completely gold as the chiralium continued to prevent you from making any rational decisions — including one that you would never have done if your mind had been clear.
As Higgs continued to devour you, you did something that set of an immensely pleasurable chain of events, something that you’d never have done if you’d had any level of control over your actions — you reached down and laced your fingers through Higgs’ hair.
The second you did this, Higgs’ movements stalled, not because he was shocked. Well, he was shocked, the kind of shock that comes from someone doing something you’d come to terms with the fact they’d never do, the shock of your wildest dreams finally coming true when you’d accepted they’d never happen. But that isn’t why he stopped moving. No, his movements stalled because the second he felt you finally touch him, he came instantly, moaning gutturally against you as his entire body tensed, hips spasming as he buried his clothed cock into the soft skin of your thigh.
Even if you hadn’t felt your thigh dampen as Higgs’ release soaked though his pants, you’d have known he’d come regardless, because thanks to your golden cord, you came too. Your breath gasped into a hold as your hips arched, gifting Higgs exactly what he’d wanted as you came against his face.
Waves of pleasure unlike anything you’d ever experienced coursed through you as the chiralium amplified your pleasure to a level that bordered on discomfort. Your entire body froze, muscles pulled taut and tense, one hand bunching the bedsheet and the other gripping a handful of Higgs’ hair onto your fist.
Waves of pleasure continued to paralyse you, waves that being amplified by the chiralium, were slowly morphing into discomfort — waves that most certainly did morph into discomfort when you felt Higgs’ resume his meal. You somehow managed to make words come from your mouth — barely.
“Higgs — stop — s’too much —”
“I’ve gotta make you come again sweetheart. That one was triggered by me, it don’t count.” Higgs’ voice was shaking with desperation and need as he added his fingers back into the mix, an obscene squelching filling the air as Higgs slipped two fingers inside you. “Need to feel you come cause of me baby.”
Your head thrown back, your entire vision gleamed gold as waves of discomfort coursed through you as Higgs alternating between kisses, licks and gulps as he devoured your arousal. Your entire body felt numb, especially where Higgs’ lips and fingers continued to attempt to bring you to orgasm again.
You could barely feel that Higgs had resumed grinding against your thigh, his own arousal once again increasing more and more as he forced your own to build once more. He spoke between mouthfuls and gulps, his voice breathy and filled with desperation and need.
“Please baby. I need to feel you come cause of my touch. I — ah fuck — need to know you came cause it’s me making you feel like this — mmmmgghhh — then you’ll know how it feels, how our connection truly wants us feel. How beautiful we could be together.”
It was all too much, the chiralium amplifying every sensation to the point of overwhelming discomfort. Your chest ached as you found yourself holding your breath, eyes clenched shut as your body remained frozen stiff, unable to process the overwhelming sensations as either pleasure or pain. You were too numb to know if Higgs was succeeding in bringing you to close to orgasm again, too numb to even feel he’d stopped using his tongue and returned to hover above you.
“Look at me baby. Please, please look at me.”
The gold that overwhelmed your vision didn’t leave as you opened your eyes to meet the pair of leaking blue eyes above you.
“Please, just one more for me baby.” Higgs’ eyes reinforced his plea as they began to leak tears of pure desperation and need. “I need to feel it. Please. Please come for me sweetheart.”
Higgs sunk his forehead to yours as he continued to rub your clit in small circles that were becoming increasingly desperate as the fingers inside you increased the speed of their thrusts.
“Please. Please baby I need to feel it. Need to feel —” Higgs let out a shaky gasp as he felt you clench around his fingers. “Yes. Fuck, that’s it beautiful. That’s it — ah —”
You hardly felt that you came again, still numb from the overstimulation as Higgs managed to steal another orgasm from you. The only proof you had that you’d come was the fact that you felt the dampness on your thigh increase again as Higgs’ came once more, his hips stuttering against you as the already soaked fabric of his pants failed to absorb any more of his release.
You felt him collapse on top of you, his body heavy and chest heaving against you as he attempted to regain his breath. Your bare skin seemed to burn where he lay against you, the chiralium still causing every sensation to be amplified, allowing you to feel his heart rate pounding in his chest as he sunk his head into the crook of your neck.
Higgs spoke between breaths, his words hot against the side of your throat. “See baby? Our connection always lets us share the pleasure, wants us to share the pleasure. It’s tellin’ us this is how we’re supposed to be.” Higgs raised his head to meet your gaze as he brought a hand up to gently caress your cheek. “Just imagine how good it would feel if we truly came together.”
. ݁₊ ⊹ . A FEW HOURS LATER . ⊹ ₊ ݁.
“You’re really leavin’?”
“Of course I’m fucking leaving.”
Your legs were still shaky, but you were finally able to stand. You’d been trying continuously since the affects of the chiralium wore off enough for you to be actually able move at all. Each attempt had either resulted in your legs giving way, or the room spinning far too vigorously for you to be able to stand for too long. But finally, your legs felt strong enough to hold you, albeit only just.
“It’s the middle of the night, and there’s still chiralium in your system.” Higgs’ voice was filled with what sounded like genuine concern — and it made you nauseous.
“And whose fault is that?”
You cautiously bent down to pick up your panties and porters jumpsuit from where Higgs had haphazardly discarded them on the floor, being careful not to move too quickly and risk becoming too dizzy to remain standing. Even if you had to crawl, you were leaving this tent right fucking now. You were so determined to leave that you decided you didn’t even want to waste time putting on your panties, but you also didn’t want to leave them here with him. After shoving them into the pocket, you stepped into your jumpsuit and began pulling it up — and what you noticed when you pulled the fabric up to your thighs, made bile rise in your throat — the patch of chalky white that had dried on your skin, pulling the skin tight and flaking as the fabric brushed against it. Your lip twitched in anger and disgust as the man who’d left it there against your will, had the audacity to speak genuine words of concern from behind you.
“Darlin’ please wait ’til the morning. Who knows what dangers might be lurking out there in the dark.”
While your golden cord was letting you know he really did care, you noted the lack of one specific emotion —remorse. He’d kidnapped, drugged and assaulted you, and now he was worried about your safety?
Even though you never wanted to lay eyes on him again, you turned to meet his gaze with a look intending to harm. “It can’t be worse than the danger that’s lurking right here in the light of this tent.”
You didn’t need your golden cord to know that your words had indeed hit their mark, Higgs’ face dropping as he shook his head in disappointment — disappointment that you hoped was directed at himself. You felt the bile threaten to spill forth as you felt Higgs’ emotions through the cord — he had the audacity to feel hurt.
“Come on darlin’, don’t be like that.”
You scowled as you turned from him, moving to collect your gear from where it had been left when you’d been brought here.
“Darlin’ come on, please don’t go.”
Gear in hand and cargo backpack slung over your shoulder, you didn’t acknowledge him again as you walked towards the tent flap.
You let out a small sigh of relief as the cool night air hit your skin, however you only made it a few meters from the tent before a flash of gold lit up the corner of your vision, and you felt a hand touch your shoulder.
“Darlin’ please don’t go, I —”
“— don’t you dare touch me!” As you snapped around to face him, you slapped his hand from your shoulder.
“You still don’t get it do you? Even after what we just did?”
You shuddered at the the way his words were filled with what you knew was genuine disbelief, like he actually believed that he’d be able to convince you that you were wrong about him.
You scoffed. “What you did. You did that Higgs, not me.”
“But I let you experience the true feelings that you bury with all that false hatred.”
“Unwillingly.”
“I seem to recall that your body was pretty willing to come for me.”
There was no playfulness in his voice, no sarcasm, no intent to mock — and somehow, you wished there had been, because the fact that there wasn’t, meant that he really thought that meant something, and that was so much worse.
You met his eyes with a look of pure hatred as you spat your words with the intent to harm with their truth. “I came because you drugged me with chiralium and then licked every inch of me. It was a response to touch Higgs, not to you.”
You turned to walk away, intent on leaving this hellhole and the devil that occupied it, but you again only made it a few meters before you were met with another flash of gold. Chiral particles glistened around him as Higgs appeared a few meters in front of you.
“Darlin’ please don’t keep doin’ this to me. I can’t take it no more.”
You could feel your blood starting to boil as the cord was telling you he had the audacity to feel genuinely hurt by your denial of his love, as if it was you who was the one who was continuously causing pain.
You scoffed in disbelief. “Don’t keep doing what? What am I doing to you Higgs?”
Higgs took a single step towards you, his words coming out harsh and accusatory, however, you knew it was a mask, one that was supposed to hide the hurt, one that was supposed to imply that your actions warranted punishment — one that you could see right through. His harsh tone was undermined by literally everything else about the way he spoke, the shaky cracking voice, the twitch of the lip as he tried to prevent the sadness and pain from spreading across his face — the pain that you could clearly see swirling in his eyes.
“You know exactly what you’re doin’ sweetheart. Forcing yourself to feel those feelings of hatred an’ disgust, when you know damn well how good it would feel to let your real feelings in. You got no idea how much it hurts when you flip your emotions around like that. I’ve felt all those times you looked at me without hatred. When you look at me with acceptance. When you pity how I grew up, how you sympathise with me. All those times when you felt adoration for me, warmth, compassion. Every single time you felt something other than hatred for me — it’s so fucking beautiful, just like you. But then you force those horrible false emotions back on top. You let your heart feel the truth about me but then your brain reminds you that you’re supposed to hate me. You let me soak in your warmth and love and then you tear it away from me. I can’t fucking take it anymore.”
The air hung silent, your flickering golden cord buzzing between you as it relayed the feelings of betrayal and hurt that Higgs was feeling to you, and the feeling of pure, unbridled rage that you were feeling to him. You saw red.
“You can’t take it anymore? Do you have any idea what it’s like to be chained to you?” It was you who closed the distance this time, your gaze harsh and accusatory as you glared up at him from below. “Your suffering is self-made Higgs. Here’s a suggestion, stop fucking caring about me. I’ve told you countless times I’ll never love you, yet you still continue to believe that I’m lying. Accept that your love will remain unreciprocated and trust me, you’ll feel soooo much better.”
You’d attempted to spit your words like a venom, hoping to harm him.
You succeeded.
“Fuck you.” Higgs drew his body stiff and tight in an attempt to use his height as a threatening imposition. However once again, he forgot to tell his eyes that they should stop threatening to leak. “Even after everything I’ve done for you? Everything I’ve done to show you how much I love you?”
You spoke with a chuckle of disbelief. “All you’ve done for me?”
You met his attempt at intimidation by squaring yourself as you looked at him, craning your neck to move as close to his face as possible — a proximity that in any other situation would be intimate, putting him within within range of your lips, but right now, meant that he was within range of your teeth — and you intended to cause harm.
“You’ve done nothing for me Higgs. Everything you’ve done, has been done to me. Everything you’ve done has to be to try and convince me that I’m wrong about my feelings, and that you’re right. You’re a selfish piece of shit. If you really wanted to show how much you love me, you’d respect my fucking decisions. If you really cared how I felt, you’d leave me the fuck alone.”
You met the look of defeat on Higgs’ face with a snarl as you turned to walk away.
The voice that called out from behind you had lost all of its danger, coming out as a plea spoken with a broken voice.
“I — I could give you everythin’.”
You pivoted on the spot to meet him with a gaze intended to wound. “I don’t want anything you could possibly offer me. You’re incapable of offering anything good Higgs. All you offer are curses. Being chained to you is agony.”
“You can say that all you want, but our cord’s still here. Surely that means something. Surely it’d disappear if we weren’t still destined to be together, if we’d hit a point of no return.”
“It means nothing. This cord, my DOOMs, is a curse Higgs, not a gift. And whether it’s still here or not, it doesn’t matter anyway, because I will never be with you. It can keep buzzing between us for the rest of our fucking lives, and it doesn’t mean shit. I will never love you Higgs.”
“Darlin’ please.” His hurt was glaringly obvious as he took a step towards you. “Give me one good reason why you won’t accept me? After everything I’ve done to show you how much I love you. Why can’t you just accept my love?”
“You don’t love me Higgs. This isn’t love!”
“Well it’s the only way I know how to love! It’s — it’s all I got.”
“It may be all you’ve got, but it doesn’t matter either way. Because I don’t want you Higgs.”
You wasted no time in turning to leave. You’d had enough of this, his actions, his words, his audacity to feel fucking hurt by your actions, like he wasn’t the one who was continuously kidnapping and assaulting you. Any hurt he felt was his own doing, forcing his proximity on you when you just wanted to be left the hell alone. You’d do anything to be rid of him, but right now, the best you could do was leave. And of course, Higgs couldn’t even let you do that in peace, his voice calling out from behind you. It had regained its danger, his voice booming and clearly intended to be a threat, a declaration of the consequences of continuing to deny his love.
“If you even think for one second that I’m gonna let you live your life without me, darlin’ you’ve got another thing coming.”
Your lip twitched in anger as you swallowed the temptation to retaliate, knowing that it wouldn’t achieve anything. As you continued to walk away from him, the danger in his voice turned hostile.
“Fine. You can walk away from me right now, but you’ll never be able to walk out of my life. I’ll never stop huntin’ you, not until you’re laying peacefully in my arms. I’ll have you sweetheart, push come to shove, one way or the other. Easily or messily, that choice is yours, but just know that time will eventually make the decision for you. And darlin’ until that time when you’re layin’ in my arms, all blissed out and droopy-eyed, fucked to the point of exhaustion — you’ll never know peace. I’m gonna haunt you, just like your love haunts me! You’ll never be rid of me!”
As his voice continued to call out from behind you, you found yourself considering if it would be worth trying to cut the cord from your chest. It would hurt, but surely it would be less painful than being chained to the monster whose screamed threats you could now hear were laced with tears.
TO BE CONTINUED ♡