summary: someone at school is bothering your daughter, daisy, and her eldest brother doesnt take it well.
a/n: this is set in the dad!rafe au. james is your oldest son and daisy is around four years old here!
you looked at your daughter with a concerned expression printed on your face. daisy just got home from kindergarten and asked you to make her something to eat. it was 2pm and she had lunch only an hour before, you checked her yellow lunch box and it was empty.
"do you want more, baby?" you fed her the last bite of pasta.
"'m still hungry, mama." daisy patted her tummy, signing more with her hands.
for the past few days, daisy has been coming home starving, which was weird considering how much food you packed her every morning. usually, she would only eat half of it.
james, your oldest son, entered the kitchen when you went to wash some fruits. "hey, daisy bear." he knelt down to blow a kiss on his sister's chubby cheeks. "colin and I are going to the park, do you want me to take daisy with us?" james asked you, as he carried her on his hip.
you shook your head and put the pieces of apples that you cut in a small plate. "daisy hungry" your daughter exclaimed, reaching for the fruit. james raised an eyebrow in confusion "didn't she eat at school?"
daisy hummed in delight, clapping her hands between mouthfuls "jacob is mean to me, mama. always steals my lunch."
it took you a few seconds to realize what she said, james going rigid next to you. someone was bothering your daisy? your baby? "what did you say, sweetheart?" you knelt down, reaching her height.
"he threw my sandwich in the bin, mama." her eyes began to water "i said no but he pulled my hair." oh, that's why when you picked her up from school, her ribbon was missing.
"oh, honey." you immediately held her in your arms, wiping her tears away.
"give me his address." james asked you, his jaw clenched. you forgot how scarily similar he was to rafe when he was upset.
you turned to look at him, sighing "james, dont be unreasonable. you cant pick on a kid!" it was just beyond crazy.
"why not? no one can mess with my sister. dad told me that i can kick their ass." god, he was as stubborn as rafe.
"he's a child, you're not allowed to go to his house and scare the hell out of him! and your dad shouldn't be reaching you that!" you pointed out "let me deal with jacob. i'll talk to his parents tomorrow morning."
james seemed to consider what you said before coming to a conclusion "you know what? i'll take daisy to school tomorrow and talk to his parents." you didn't like the sinister smile that he gave you, but got distracted by daisy pulling at your hand "more apples, mama!"
-
the next evening, daisy came home telling you about how jacob stopped bothering her and his dad even gave her a bag of candies.
you looked at james suspiciously "what did you do?"
james shrugged "nothing much. just reminded him that dad owns a law firm and i am a professional boxer."
can i order prank » pranking your boyfriend and asking if you can order something in a restaurant!
rafe cameron who . . . » soft rafe cameron headcannons who promises he's not like that
telling bf!rafe you found topper on tinder » pranking your boyfriend once more and saying you found one of his best friends on tinder!
drinking!rafe x reader angst // p2 of drinking!rafe x reader angst » hating how much rafe drinks but always keeping silent, one day it all spills over, affecting your relationship deeply
asking rafe to leave when youre changing » pranking your boyfriend and asking him to leave when you're changing [slightly suggestive?]
cling rafe cameron when drunk x reader » bf!rafe coming home and being clingy to reader
bf!drew starkey when odessa gets a bit too clingy around gf!reader » drew starkey having to decide on his co-star or his girlfriend
bf!rafe taking care of overworked reader » sick reader who has to either prioritse her job or her boyfriend
who did this to you? » rafe cameron x maybank!reader when she gets jumped
wrong side of the island » youre secretly a pogue and when rafe finds out your friends with the people he hates most, he feels completely betrayed.
private relationship with drew starkey » honestly self-explanatory but actor!reader having a private relationship with drew
"my current girlfriend" » rafe pranking you and calling you his "current girlfriend" infront of barry
perfume prank » tiktok perfume prank on rafe!
bf!drew starkey x daddy issues reader » drew losing his temper and scaring reader - fluff after
soft rafe cameron headcannons » self explanatory
touchy rafe » rafe cameron who just can't keep his hands off you !
obssessive bf!rafe cameron
drew starkey x reader obx interview » private in love relationship with your obx co star drew starkey
rafe cameron x jj maybanks younger sister p1 // rafe cameron x jj maybanks younger sister p2 // rafe x jjs younger sister p3 » when your brother goes missing and you end up turning to a race, rafe cameron may know how to help you.
rafe distracting you while youre baking . . . » fluff!
jealous rafe cameron headcannons
drew starkey x obx actor angst » you've always liked drew despite him making it clear that he doesn't. but when you get injured, does that change?
giving rafe the silent treatement » helpless rafe who has no idea what to do when you don't talk to him
cheating rafe cameron p1 // p2 » rafe cameron who cheats on you which tilts your world forever.
routledge!reader x rafe // routledge!reader x rafe p2
nerd!rafe cameron // more // nerd rafe having a study date in his dorm // wearing nerd rafe's glasses // nerd!rafe who stands up for you
husband!rafe swearing infront of your kid for the first time » !! when rafe cameron accidentally says the wrong word infront of your child.
whats on your face? » pranking vain rafe cameron
i dont deserve you
untitled angst rafe cameron x reader coming back after years of moving away from obx » when your family moves away from your childhood best friend, what happens when you come back?
pogue reader receptionist x s1 rafe p1 » you didn't expect for your job to come with other things
lifeguard!rafe x maybank!reader p1 // part two // part three » going to the pool has always been a good break for you and your younger brother to be away from your father, until it isn't.
its always been you p1 // part two // part 3 // part 4 » child hood best friend rafe who has loved you ever since he can't remember.
aftercare with obssessive!rafe » obssessive rafe who takes care of you after sex
rafe getting angry over you talking with some dude in a bar and ignoring you » petty rafe who doesn't know how to communicte
trying on an ugly dress prank » pranking rafe again!
jj maybank's older sister x rafe cameron
10 things i hate about you obx crossover
s2 rafe cameron who realises he has to grow up when you become pregant after fwb
fwb rafe x avoidant reader
frat boy!rafe || frat boy!rafe cameron x reader || frat sweetheart x president YEARNING rafe || frat boy rafe who can't take his eyes off you // part two » all frat boy rafe fics !
university reader x rafe // part two » when you have a fall out with friends, you turn to the only person you can rely on
rafe taking care of drunk!reader after a long girls night out » getting a little too drunk and your boyfriend coming to pick you up!
possessive rafe cameron
cheating rafe cameron angst // part two » when rafe cheats on you and you decide to let go, will he come back into your life again?
clingy!reader x rafe » angst, where you attempt to talk to rafe but he snaps at you
cocky!rafe cameron » who knows his place and yet you rebutt him
childhood bsf rafe » rafe who had to survive ward and then you leaving him
jj maybank
bf!jj maybank headcannons
clark kent
bf!clark kent headcannons
clark kent at the daily planet
sleep clark kent head cannons » domestic clark kent when he just woke up
touchy + dominant clark headcannons » clark kent who loves a challenge [you]
dominant clark kent // dominant superman
nerd clark
clark kent who never shows up for you » angst, where clark can't tell you he's superman for your own safety
soft!husband clark kent » who's just too domestic
simon ghost riley
bf!simon ghost riley headcannons
lt!simon ghost riley x nurse
simon x therapy dog handler p1 // part two // part three » when simon meets the new therapy dog handler, is it an opportunity for both love and healing?
simon x emotional reader fluff » simon who admires you being able to cry
reader asking husband!simon ghost riley if he ever wishes he was taller » taking the tiktok prank and trying it on simon!
dominant simon ghost riley
soft!inexperienced simon ghost riley » soft simon ghost riley who's never had a girlfriend before
simon ghost riley x subordinate » simon riley who can't hide his feelings for you
steve harrington
bf!steve harrington head cannons
soft steve headcannons
affectionate steve headcannons
steve harrington [?]
bsf!steve whos in love with you headcannons » steve harrington who doesn't realise he's in love with you until he just does
siren!reader + rafe feel like the type of people that would drunkenly get married in vegas out of sheer spite.
Rafe woke up to sunlight stabbing through the open blackout curtains.
His mouth tasted like he'd licked the bottom of an ashtray, his head felt like someone had taken a golf club to it (wouldn't be the first time), and there was a weight across his chest that definitely wasn't a pillow.
He cracked one eye open.
The suite was trashed with champagne bottles on their sides leaking onto the carpet, a bra dangling from the ceiling fan, glitter (where the fuck did glitter come from?) scattered across every surface.
One of his shoes was in the jacuzzi tub; the other was nowhere in sight. A half-eaten room-service burger sat abandoned on the nightstand, ketchup smeared like blood spatter.
And you.
You were sprawled across him, face buried in the crook of his neck, one leg hooked over his hip, pinning him even in your sleep.
As per usual, he woke up before you did, especially when the hangover wasn’t quite vicious enough to knock him out cold.
Your breathing was slow, soft puffs against his skin, mouth slightly open. Irritating, so fucking irritating.
And cute.
Goddamn it. You were the only person on the planet who could look this wrecked and perfect at the same time.
The ring on your finger glinted when you moved deeper into his shoulder, the cheap gold catching the light.
Rafe should’ve been panicking and calculating annulment timelines, damage control, what Ward would say when the news inevitably leaked back to the Banks.
Instead, all he could think was: mine.
He propped himself up on one elbow, ignoring the throb behind his eyes, and looked at you for a solid minute, tracing the faint hickey blooming under your jaw that he didn’t remember putting there.
His perfect fucking girl.
He leaned down carefully and pressed his lips to your temple, then kissed the corner of your eye next. Then the bridge of your nose and the apple of your cheek.
You made a sleepy noise protest, slithered with contentment, and tried to burrow deeper into the pillow.
“Wake up, princess,” he murmured, voice still rough from last night’s shouting and tequila. He kissed the shell of your ear. “Your husband’s getting impatient.”
You groaned, but didn’t open your eyes. “Five more minutes.”
“Nope.” He rolled half over you so his weight pinned you to the mattress. “You’re gonna open those eyes and look at me, or I’m gonna keep going until you do.”
You cracked one eye open, bleary and unimpressed, squinting at him
"Why are you assaulting me with your face?”
You stretched lazily, arching your back so the sheet slipped lower, exposing the dip of your collarbone and the bruise he’d left there yesterday.
“Fuck,” he cursed under his breath, eyes dragging over you.
You propped yourself up on one elbow, hair tumbling over your shoulder.
"Can't believe you begged a fake Elvis to let you put a ring on it, Cameron.”
Rafe’s jaw flexed, exasperated with your need to piss him off as soon as you opened your eyes. “I didn’t beg.”
He did.
“You got on one knee and everything. Looked up at me with those big wet Bambi eyes.”
“Bullshit.”
“Want me to pull up the video?"
You bit your lip to keep from laughing.
There it was—that punch-to-the-gut that had been frying his brain since Rafe was fourteen and you'd leaned over the boat railing in that red bikini.
He glared down at you properly this time.
“You’re gonna hold it over me, aren't you?"
"Yeah," You stretched again, like a cat, giving him that saccharine smile that made him want to do extremely raunchy things to his brand-new wife. “I woke up a Cameron."
Rafe’s breath hitched at the way you said, the most casual, filthy little victory you’d ever claimed. His last name in your mouth sounded better than it ever had on anyone else’s.
“Yeah?” He dropped his forehead to yours. “And you’re fucking glowing about it, aren’t you?”
You hummed, dragging your nails lightly down his bare back.
“Little bit. I always knew you had it in you. Just didn’t think you'd do it with a twenty-four-hour chapel and a fake Elvis who called you ‘my boy’ the whole time.”
He chuckled despite himself, the sound slipping through the hangover haze. It turned into a groan when you moved under him, and the sheet slipped further, around your waist. All that skin. His marks on you.
“Goddamn it,” he muttered, kissing you hard before you could fire off another smartass comment. You tasted like stale champagne and sleep and you, and Rafe was so fucked.
He’d been gone for you since you were kids, stealing beers from his dad’s cooler and daring each other to jump off the pier at night.
This was a whole new level of pathetic.
“You’re not freaking out.”
“Nope.” You grinned, the same exact smile that used to make him do reckless shit to keep your attention. “I’ve been waiting for you to lock it down since you punched Kelce for looking at my ass too long."
Rafe’s ears went hot. “I didn’t—fuck, okay, I did. But you liked it.”
“I loved it.” Your leg hooked higher around his hip, pulling him closer until there was nothing but warmth and the sticky remnants of last night between you. “My big, jealous husband.”
“Say it again.”
“Husband."
His arms tightened around you, completely down bad. He didn’t care anymore.
“You’re evil,” he hissed into your skin, kissing down your throat, teeth grazing what he’d left behind. “Dragged me to Vegas, got me drunk, and stole my last name.”
“You got on your knees, baby." Your fingers threaded through his messy hair, making his eyes flutter. “Very romantic. I have the video, remember?”
He nipped your collarbone in retaliation. “Delete it.”
“No.”
“I’ll buy you a real ring. Big one. Whatever the fuck you want. Just delete the video.”
“I’m keeping both. The ring and the blackmail material. Keeps you honest.”
Rafe lifted his head, eyes dark and helplessly soft all at once. “I hate you.”
“You love me.”
“Yeah. I really fucking do.”
He’d spent years choking them down with coke and rage and whatever else he could shove between himself and the truth, until last summer.
He remembered last night in flashes.
Fake Elvis egging him on, all sideburns and polyester, while Rafe was on one fucking knee, with whatever balance he could find after drinking his bodyweight in tequila.
"Marry me right now or I’ll lose my mind. I don’t deserve you,” he’d slurred against your mouth right after. “But I’m keeping you anyway. Fuck everyone else.”
You’d answered by biting his bottom lip and muttering “Good boy,” loud enough for the officiant to clear his throat.
“Thinking about it again?” you purred. “You got teary when you said the ‘till death do us part’ bit. It was cute.”
“I wasn’t teary,” he lied immediately.
He’d been fucking misty.
The chapel lights had hit your face, and suddenly all he could think about was every summer night you’d spent tangled up on his boat, every time you chose him over his bullshit, over everything.
“Remember how you couldn’t even wait to get back to the hotel? Had me in the limo like a fucking animal.”
Flash.
The divider was up. Your dress was recklessly rucked around your waist. His hands shaking as he pushed your thighs apart and buried his face between them while you tugged on his hair and moaned his name loud enough that the driver definitely heard.
“My wife,” he’d growled against you, drunk and delirious. “Gonna keep you forever.”
You’d come on his face with the cheap ring glinting on your finger, then pulled him up and kissed him sloppy, tasting yourself on his tongue.
As a matter of fact, he wasn’t annulling shit.
This was forever. Glitter, cheap rings, blackmail videos, and all.
You seemed to read that realization on his face, smirk deepening, that dangerous curve of your lips always meant trouble.
“One little reminder that you’re my husband now and you look like you’d crawl across broken glass to keep me.”
“Keep talking, and I will keep you in this bed for the next week.”
You sat up straighter, straddling him fully now, the gold ring glinting on your finger as you trailed your hands down his chest. Rafe followed, sitting up so you were chest to chest, one arm banded around your back, holding you there.
“You’re such a fucking brat.”
"Yeah? So fuck me like you mean it, Mr. Cameron. Show your wife how grateful you are that she finally let you put that ring on it.”
Rafe didn’t need to be told twice.
He was halfway inside you when both phones started exploding.
First, it was his, vibrating so hard it nearly walked itself off the edge, and then yours joined in, ringing from somewhere under the pile of discarded clothes on the floor.
He didn’t have to look to know who it was.
Rafe couldn’t give less of a shit.
He thrust the rest of the way in with one smooth roll of his hips, burying himself to the hilt.
“Ignore it,” he growled, already moving, “Let them call.”
You let out a breathy hum that turned into a moan when he hit the spot that always made your back bow. “That’s my dad. He’s probably losing his mind. Might even be on a plane right now.”
“Don’t care.” Rafe hooked your leg higher, spreading you wider as he fucked you harder, the bed creaking under you both. “You’re mine now. Legally. He can scream all he wants.”
Another flash hit him mid-thrust—last night, right after the chapel, you’d answered a random call from your dad while Rafe was three fingers deep in you in the back of the limo. You’d tried to keep your voice normal, biting your lip bloody while telling your dad you’d “call him back later,” all while Rafe whispered “tell him you’re getting married” against your soaked pussy.
Not his finest moment.
The phones kept going. Ring after ring, then the dings of incoming texts, probably paragraphs of threats and disappointment.
You reached up, threading your fingers through his hair and yanking to watch his eyes flutter.
“Rafe Cameron ignoring his father for pussy? That’s a new low, even for you.”
He ground deeper, making sure you felt every inch. “It’s my wife’s pussy.”
Rafe moaned shamelessly, burying his face in your neck as he felt you start to tighten around him. Nothing else mattered, certainly not the inevitable hurricane waiting for you both back home.
Ten minutes later, he came with your name on his lips and your ring digging into his shoulder where you were holding on for dear life.
He collapsed on top of you, both of you sweaty and panting, the phones finally going quiet for a blessed thirty seconds before starting up again.
You pressed a kiss to his temple. “They’re not gonna stop.”
“Don’t care,” he mumbled, kissing along your collarbone, sated and still so fucking in love it hurt. “We’ll deal with them later. Much later.”
Summary: Some secrets never stay buried.
Warnings : angst ?
Writers notes : English is not my native language; please excuse me if there are any mistakes or poor translations.
Rafe Cameron x female reader
You let yourself fall heavily onto the bed that takes up almost the entire room, eager to return to your physical therapist to start the massages, the chronic pain having returned.
Your leg had been broken twelve years ago, but the pain came back at times, as if to remind you of what you had been through: the dislocated hip and the nasty scar.
The memories weren’t as sharp anymore, but every time you saw your white, slightly raised scar, they came back in waves.
Needless to say, it was every day.
“Are you okay?”
Rafe watches you, leaning against the doorframe, looking concerned. He knows you’re tired; you’ve probably walked too much, and he feels guilty for having listened to you despite seeing the pain on your face. “Do you want me to stay?”
“Nooo!” You push yourself up on your elbows, smiling. “Enjoy yourself and stop worrying about your clingy girlfriend!”
Rafe’s eyes narrow; he doesn’t like hearing you call yourself that, even if it amuses you. “That’s not funny.”
“You see, Mr. Serious Needs a Night Out with His Friends!”
He laughs, shaking his head before leaning toward you. “Are you sure?”
“Promise.”
Your smile brings out dimples, and he touches one with his finger, appreciating that cheerfulness you always carry within you.
His blue eyes get lost in yours, and you feel a flush prickling your skin, as always when he stares at you too intently.
Because it’s always like this with Rafe Cameron: an overflow of affection that twists your chest and makes you want to smile foolishly.
How had this boy ever lingered on you?
He stands up to go to the bathroom, grabs his watch from the edge of the sink, and gives his hair a final slick-back with gel.
“If there’s anything…”
“I’ll call you, I know.”
His caring side can be suffocating at times, as if you might break at any wrong move. Yet you know it’s not distrust — only fear. Fear that one day the pain will fold you in half and he won’t be there to catch you. It’s his way of loving you, clumsy but complete.
He tilts his head to the side, a sly smile playing on his lips as he observes your nonchalant attitude. You don't live together, but he hopes you'll say yes when he asks.
He watches your figure stretched out on the bed, arms spread, eyes closed, and he collapses onto you, bouncing off the mattress.
You giggle when he tickles the skin of your neck with his mouth, and you wrap your arms around him. “You’re going to be late…”
“I don’t care.” He kisses your cheek, but his lips barely linger. “Are you going to see the Pogues?” His voice is dry.
“Hey, I’m one of them too!”
You give him a playful nudge on the shoulder.
“That’s not the same.” He frowns. “You’re prettier than them.”
“Cheeky flatterer!”
His hand slides over your injured thigh, massaging gently, your eyes closing at the pleasant sensation. His hands are soft yet firm; he knows exactly where to press to relieve the pain and make it bearable for the evening. He knows your body by heart — not just its desires, but its vulnerabilities.
“Thinking about him living his best life…”
You let out a sigh and Rafe looks at you, frowning.
“Who?”
“The one who did this to me.”
You point to your leg as if it defined you as something broken; your eyes open and you give a small, shy smile.
Rafe’s eyes flare with anger, a dark glint filling his pupils, full of hatred.
He sometimes watches you secretly when you’re together; he stares long, cursing that mark that damages your skin, those pains that sometimes make you faint, hating the one who did this to you.
“You know if I could, I’d kill him.” His words are harsh, real. His hands tighten around your leg, as if restraining himself from already doing it.
“Luckily, that’s not the case.” You laugh to ease the tension. “You’d get arrested, and we couldn’t be together.”
Yeah, he knew. That was the problem.
Rafe’s phone rings, breaking the bubble you’d just created, and he drops his head onto your shoulder with a sigh, like a man being ripped from something sweet.
“I have to go pick up Topper…”
“Go, soldier!”
He gives you a teasing smile as he props himself on his hands. “You staying tomorrow too?” He asks casually, but he hopes you’ll sleep here again.
“I have to see my parents early evening… but I can come after.”
This time, he didn’t even have to insist. Rafe’s eyes light up and close when you press the pad of your fingers against his cheek, a tender gesture that’s become instinctive between you.
After a moment, he stands, taking you with him; his silhouette towering between your thighs as he leans down to kiss you before leaving.
But it’s never just simple kisses with Rafe.
They’re cinematic kisses, the kind you share because you know you’re leaving for a long time and want the other to remember you. His mouth is warm and patient, his tongue tangling with yours slowly, your faces moving in a dance learned countless times.
The phone rings again, and he pulls away reluctantly, a teasing smile on his lips as he notices your breath is shallow, as always. “See you later.”
You nod, unable to speak.
Rafe grabs his things, casting one last look in your direction — that slightly dark, slightly possessive look he never really controls — and leaves, amused at the effect he leaves behind.
A little excited by the exchange and wanting to wash off the day, you limp lightly toward the bathroom, careful as you step into the shower.
“Shit.”
You had come straight to his place after your walk, and you hadn’t planned on bringing a change of clothes. With the towel wrapped around you, you head toward his wardrobe, knowing he wouldn’t say anything if you borrowed some of his things.
He liked seeing you in his clothes.
Pulling on a t-shirt that falls to mid-thigh, you knock over a pouch hidden on a pile of shorts you were going to wear to finish getting dressed.
Holding onto the wardrobe door, you bend slowly to pick up the pouch, and a photo that had slipped out catches your eye.
You grab the pouch, toss it on the bed, finish getting dressed, and flop back onto the comfortable mattress.
You tap the back of the pouch, wondering if you should open it…
Then you finally pull the photo from the corner of your eye, as if only partially looking at it would excuse rummaging through Rafe’s things.
Maybe it’s even your stuff too, after all.
The photo shows a teenage girl, hair tucked under a beanie with a rock band logo, in the middle of summer, proud on her bike.
That girl is you.
Several folders in different colors are inside, all with dates — one immediately catching your attention. Your heart races as intrigue grows with the realization of what you’re seeing.
May 27, 2015
You open the folder and your eyes widen.
The police report from your accident.
Photos of you lying unconscious on the ground, your bike beside you.
A car had rounded the corner too fast, unable to avoid the crash.
The memory hits without warning: your body thrown forward, your bike’s bell ringing in the impact — then blackness.
You hadn’t seen these images in years. Seeing your bloody face and fractured leg twists your stomach.
You were fifteen.
And the person who did this left you alone.
A hit-and-run.
The culprit was never found.
You don’t understand why Rafe has the police report, nor how he got your hospital records, both supposed to be strictly private.
You place the folders beside you, folding your leg that tightens as the tension builds.
There’s another folder, too.
Dated shortly after your accident.
It’s also a medical file, but this one is about rehab.
“What the…”
A photo of the patient is stapled at the top: bloodshot eyes, a gaunt face, greasy hair.
Rafe.
He had been admitted to a center far from here, for almost a year. You can read the notes from the doctor who treated him, the psychiatrist’s notes trying to understand why he ended up there, the support group he participated in.
Notes he wrote himself, in his fast, irregular handwriting — some letters bigger than others, ink forming blotches, holes in the paper from pressing too hard.
Then, over the dates, a calmer handwriting appears. More confident. Almost elegant.
A list is drawn up, titled:
List of All the People I Have Hurt.
First names and last names are written; you recognize some, while others are unknown to you.
They’re all crossed out.
All except yours.
On another list, he has written the mistakes he made — almost all related to drugs. He explains why he was so hurtful to Sarah, to the point of wanting to drown her.
“What the…”
Why he robbed one of his friends for money. Why he got involved with Barry. Why he held a grudge against John B. Why he had a car accident at seventeen under the influence of drugs.
Your mind understands before your heart.
Rafe Cameron is the one who ran you over twelve years ago.
The one who left you alone — but who had the decency to call for help before fleeing.
The one who has been saying he loved you for three years.
He’s not having fun, just playing with the empty beer bottle in his hands, a bored expression on his face.
Yet everything seems fine. Topper, Kelce, and he are at a bar overlooking the sea. The air is warm, the atmosphere festive, and he reconnects with acquaintances he hasn’t seen in a while.
But it’s not the same: he’s bored.
“Come on, man! She must be asleep!”
Kelce sets another beer in front of him. “You said her pain was coming back, right?”
“Yeah…”
“Well, there you go, she probably took a pill and she’s asleep!”
That’s likely, yet he still feels a small twinge of worry that you haven’t answered his last two messages.
It’s true that it’s late and you were tired, but normally, you’d always let him know before going to bed.
And this time, nothing.
“Who would’ve thought Rafe Cameron would fall in love to the point of forgetting everything else?”
Topper teases him, but it’s true, and Rafe knows it.
He loves you in a way he didn’t think was possible, even if sometimes it’s too much.
He puts his phone in his pocket, a heavy weight more burdensome than it should be.
Something’s wrong.
And that’s what makes him leave the party earlier than his friends would have liked.
Topper tries to stop him, but it’s hopeless: he already has the car keys tightly clutched in his hand.
The road feels endless. When he parks in front of the beach house, he knows something isn’t right.
The door isn’t locked when it should be. A heavy silence reigns, and even the dim light feels different.
“Y/N?”
His voice is calm, but he feels far from calm. Inside, it’s an ocean of colliding thoughts because, deep down, he might already know.
The bedroom door is wide open. Pillows are scattered on the floor, torn papers drift in the breeze. The curtains move, stirred by the wind, lifting fragments of chaos.
His heart races. His breathing quickens. His whole body screams.
Everything collapses. The world tilts.
Rafe Cameron stands frozen, alone, facing his past laid out on the floor, unable to escape what you knows now.
You know what he did.
Rafe Cameron masterlist JJ Maybank masterlist Steve Harrington masterlist
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summary: he wishes he could let go but it's never easy when it comes to love.
playlist: you're losing me by taylor swift
oh that first love, the one you hoped it'd last forever or the one you knew it wasn't meant to last.
somehow they were both. sixteen year old teenager's who were friends since they were kids to young adults that didn't know how to stop the cycle.
it all started when, at eighteen, she decided to go to vanderbilt university instead of unc chapel hill almost eight hours away from where he would be studying bussiness.
"i don't understand why you can't go to chapel hill like we used to talk about." rafe huffed once again.
"and why can't you come with me to vanderbilt, you were accepted baby." she said looking at him from her spot on his desk's chair.
"you know why." he breath out. his father.
"fuck him. fuck what he has to say rafe." she walked to him and sat on his legs. "build a life for yourself, you already have a position there that he can't take away from you."
"it's not that easy and you know it." he laid his head on her shoulder. "i'd love to but he won't pay for it if i don't go to chapel hill."
"we'll make it work then." she kissed his forehead. "i already know i don't have classes on monday."
"and i have virtual classes on friday afternoon." he smiled softly at the kiss. "can drive to you after my last class at five pm on thursday's every two weeks?"
"and then i can do the same sometimes." they really thought they could pull it off, they did at least for almost two years.
"you promised you'd come." his brows frowned and she felt guilty.
"i know honey but."
"no honey no but, you always do this y/n/n. you know it's important and then something else comes along." she watched as he picked on his nails.
"the professor organiced this out of the blue." it wasn't a lie but it was something she was told she could skip.
"yeah sure. talk to you tomorrow or wherever you'll be free to speak to your boyfriend." she, once again, had let him down.
"c'mon i'll go next weekend." she insisted.
"next weekend there won't be any games because it' the final this weekend and i told you a hundred times." he nodded no. "doesn't matter anymore, goodnight." the facetime ended and she was left alone with her reflection on the black screen.
text
y/n 'i'm sorry'
y/n 'i'll make it up to you'
y/n 'i love you'
rafe 'i don't want you to make it up, i want you to show up for me the same way i do for you'
he didn't do anything else from going to class then to practice and going back to his room after. he didn't know how to stop feeling so blue, she had never been the one to make him feel unworthy but now she was turning into someone he didn't really recognised anymore and he hated that feeling.
she had kept texting him but only received short answers back.
saturday afternoon rolled around and championship was won by chappel hill basketball team.
text
y/n 'saw the game baby'
y/n 'i'm proud of you. best player as always'
y/n 'i love you'
rafe 'thank you'
rafe 'me too'
he was getting tired and she knew it, he had the right to and she knew that too.
on friday night a knock on his door made him roll his eyes.
"I'm not going out topper." he loudly said and sighed when his door opened anyway.
"not topper." his girlfriend made her way in and closed the door behind her. "hi."
"hey." he sat up. "what are you doing here?"
"making up for last weekend." his eyes scanned all over her. "I'm sorry baby."
"yeah you already said that like a hundred times actually." he was still mad. "needed you last weekend not this."
"I know but."
"no, I'm done with the but actually you know." he scoffed. "because I've always been there, every single time and I know we have separate lives right now but when it's something as big as it was the game for me I expect you to be there for me."
she stared at him like a deer in headlights surprised at how he was talking to her because never in all the years they had been together he used that firm tone.
"I still expect my girlfriend to be there and you weren't, everyone had their people there and I didn't." he roughly cleaned a tear that made it's way down his cheek. "I'm actually tired so if you're going to stay there's the bathroom and turn the light off when you come to bed."
she was losing him.
he wasn't asleep when she came to bed so he felt how she wrapped her arm around him and kissed his shoulder repeatedly murmuring small I love you's onto his skin.
it made him want to cry because he felt anything but feeling loved by her.
next morning as he was awoken by the sun that reflected in the window, he was confused for a minute by the feeling of a warm body against his before realising she was actually there. her head rested on his chest with a leg interlocked with his and arm drapped over his stomach.
saturday morning was rather quiet in the frat house he shared, most of them either asleep or out on whatever thing they had going on. he touched the side of her face with his index finger admiring how beautiful she was even while sleeping.
he wondered how many more times he would be able to do this to have her like this before it all blew up in the air. his heart wrecked everytime he thought about a life without her even when he suspected her's didn't broke in the same way his did.
"hey." she murmured. "good morning"
"morning" he replied and pressed a kiss to her scalp.
"missed this." she snuggled even more onto him. "missed you."
"yeah me too." he sighed. "me too."
she looked up fixating her gaze on his closed eyes and how the sun illuminated his freckles. the one's she had fallen in love with as a child.
"want me to make breakfast?" she said, placing little kisses on his skin.
"nah there's this place about 10 minutes away by the lake. you'll like it." she smiled at the thought of him going somewhere and thinking she'll like this. she had to be better for him.
he watched as she got ready and while on their way to the lake everything seemed to be the same it felt that way. her hand always reaching for his and the soft kisses on his bicep.
"how's everything going back there?" he asked before taking a bite of his breakfast.
"good the classes are so intresting and when we have debates i feel so excited like that's what i've wanting to learn for years." he smiled at the happiness she expressed it with. "party's are alright nothing particular. janett keeps insisting i should go out more but i don't really find it as fun if they're without you."
"you should, college experience and all." he chuckled.
"already told you, it's not that fun without my bodyguard with me." she smiled at him and he hummed. "rafe c'mon baby I'm trying here."
"I'm trying too, sorry I'm still hurt about my girlfriend not being there for me." he leaned back on his side of the booth and ran his hands across his face. "I love you so much but you shouldn't have come because I'm so mad at you, I've been mad for a while and what happened last week was the last straw."
"baby please." she tried but he didn't let her talk.
"no y/n, no baby, no please, no nothing." he took a deep breath in. "just stay the weekend because it's going to rain until thursday afternoon and I won't let you drive eight hours in the bad weather."
"rafe honey." she got up from her seat and sat next to him fast to hold his hand.
"you know how awful it's to feel you're stopping loving me?" he avoided her eyes, feeling like a child begging for love. "to me you're everything, everything I've ever wanted, everything I ever seen for my future."
she squeezed his hand.
"and I don't think you want the same thing you once did with me." he closed his eyes, afraid of what would happen if he continued expressing what he was thinking but did it anyway. "I don't think you're accepting something you already know. you don't love me the way you did before and I won't beg you to love me but I'll beg you to let me go."
"no." she let go of his hand and both of her's went to hold his face making him look at her. "I love you more than I love anybody else, I hate myself for making you feel this way. you're the love of my life." he still didn't look her in the eyes. "I've neglecting this, us. I realise it now but I don't want anyone that isn't you."
she kissed his nose repeatedly just like she used to do when they were kids.
"I want to believe you but there are not any proof of it anymore." he gently pushed her hand away from his face and stood up. "let's go."
the drive back to his place was awfully tense, a folk playlist playing really low. she looked at him from time to time as she took in the words he had said.
she was losing him.
everyone said hi to her as they entered the place but at the sight of rafe's expression they collectively decided on their minds to not say anything and just let the couple go to his room.
they had fights before, but this wasn't a fight, this was him letting her know he was defeated.
"gonna shower, there's my laptop if you want to watch something." he mumbled taking some clothes from his dresser and dissappearing inside the en-suit bathroom.
she sat on his bed staring at the halfway shut door, the sound of the water falling and a groan from him that let her know the water was way too warm.
five minutes later she entered the bathroom.
"rafe?" she almost whispered.
"yeah?" he knew what she was going to ask and he knew he was going to say yes.
"can I come in with you?" he sighed before saying yes.
he didn't turn around when she entered. her right cheek placed on his back and her arms came to hug his front.
"I love you." she placed smalled kisses on the skin she promised her lips missed the most and repeated the words a few times.
his head hung low.
"I love you too but i need you to stop hurting me because i know you know you hurt me everytime you break a promise." he didn't intend for his voice to break but it did anyways. "and you know i can't handle that type of rejection, if you want to leave just do it but don't punish me emotionally."
"baby turn around." she said and looked into his eyes when he did, baby blue eyes that were red from trying to hold the tears. "i never wanted to be the one making you feel like this." her hands placed on his cheeks made him feel safe and he was starting to hate it, starting to hate how vulnerable he actually was with her and how it had never been an issue until now. "I'll be better for you, for us." he nodded and leaned down, resting his head on the crook of her neck while her arms moved to keep him close to her body.
they spent a quiet weekend, tangled sheets and lunch for breakfast. he felt so empty as he saw her drive away.
"finally out of your room." topper teased him. "good weekend?"
"sure." his friend now wore a confused look in his face.
"sure? that's it?" topper sat infront of rafe. "c'mon man what's going on?"
"i don't know top like i genuinely don't know." he sighed. "she says i love you and i feel like she's lying to my face."
"y/n/n? there's no way, you two have been obssesed with the other since kindergarden." he tried to make a joke but rafe was too zooned out to catch it. "everything will be alright, don't worry about it."
and things were back to normal for two or three months.
"i won't be going home for thanksgiving." he chuckled at her words.
"should've known." he already knew her next words 'baby please' 'rafey i'm sorry' 'i promise i'll make it up to you' and like clockwise she repeated the sentences.
"baby i promise i'll make it up to you rafey." he looked up at the ceiling of his room trying to ignore his girlfriend's face on the screen of his phone while he decided his next words.
"i think i need a break."
"a break? from what?" her pulse started racing.
"this, us. you." he clenched his jaw. oh how he hated this. "this isn't working anymore, it hasn't for a while and i've been trying to ignore it just like you ignore every signal i give you."
"no no no rafe, there's no way." her eyes filled with tears.
"i'm tired of trying to make you see me, of trying to make you see how this has become a sad song with no fucking return y/n." he couldn't stop himself from crying. "and don't come home because this time i don't want to see you, don't come now that you know it's done when you had other plans."
"but i don't want this." she exclaimed. "i don't want the break."
"i do." he nodded. "and for the first time in a really long time i'll prioritize how i feel instead of the fear i feel of losing you because let's be honest, you know you were losing me and you didn't really care."
she stayed quiet for a bit.
"i never wanted to make you feel like that." she mumbles and pulls the sleeves of one of his old jerseys down covering her hands. "i love you."
"it doesn't really have any meaning now coming from you." he wasn't saying it to hurt her, he really meant it. "i have to go, i'm driving home tonight."
"rafe no please, there has to be another way." he shook his head. "don't do this to us."
"it wasn't me, it was you." his hand moved up and down on his face. "take care."
he ended the call. and both of them stared at their own screens.
"fuck." he screamed and punched the wall beside him.
he was once again alone. alone without the one who held him when his mom died, the one that had always made him feel loved. the one he never thought would stop loving him.
lilah, her roomate, rushed to her room as she heard the horrible sob coming from it.
"hey hey hey." she kneeled beside her. "what happened?"
"he-he broke up with me." her tear stained face made her roomate feel bad for her but lilah knew why rafe broke up with her.
"oh honey." she wrapped her arms around the crying girl. "i'm sorry."
rafe was glad topper was the one driving, he was in no state of mind to do it. he had already told sarah what happened and asked her to let the rest of the family know.
no one believed sarah's word until the saw him enter the place, dark circles under his eyes and a gray cloud around him that they hadn't seen in a while.
wheezie hugged him and told him she had miss him a lot, his dad came to give him a short hug and said 'glad to have you home son' while sarah waited until he was up in his room to see him.
"hey, can i come in?" she opened the door a bit peaking inside.
"yeah." he sighed.
"wanna talk about what happened?" he nodded no. "want to watch a movie?" she received the same nod.
"i just want to sleep sar, sorry." she gave him half a smile and kissed his forehead just like he did when she was sad.
"i'm next door if you need something." he thanked her and watched as she left his room.
text
y/n 'i know you don't want to talk to me but i just want to know you got home alright'
rafe 'topper drove, already home'
y/n 'thank you <3'
he stayed a another week at home after thanksgiving break ended.
once a week she reached out with the hope he would answer her.
text
a week in
y/n 'just want to know how are you'
two weeks in
y/n 'i miss you please answer me'
when he went back it was as if another soul had taken over his body. drunk every weekend, making out with a different girl at every party but he never took them to his bed. that was a step he wasn't ready to take yet, one thing was a kiss and another was someone seeing him in a way only she had had him.
three weeks in
y/n 'i feel like i'm going insane please'
maybe it was petty to want her to feel ignored the same way he felt, maybe he wanted to be the best thing at a party. a party she no longer had access to.
a month in
y/n 'just a message'
instead of a message she saw topper's instagram story, rafe seemed to be having the time of his life there.
topperthorton via instagram stories
tagged: rafecameron
a month and a half in
y/n 'please'
y/n 'i need to see you'
y/n 'i can't keep going like this, without you. i miss you'
rafe stared at his phone not knowing what to do. she was the love of his life but he didn't want to keep getting hurt.
text
rafe 'i miss you too'
his cell rang, a photo of her showing up. the sun all over her face smiling at the beach, it was his favorite one.
"hey." he picked up the call and heard what seemed to be a sigh.
"hi." street noises were at the background but he decided to not pay much attention to it. "how are you?"
"i'm alright, you?" he was all but alright.
"i'm a mess." she chuckled. "never been better." her sarcasm almost makes him laugh.
"i get it."
"i miss you." she said as if it should be some kind of a secret. "i miss you so much."
"i miss you too." he hated how weak he became when it was about her.
"can't sleep, can't eat. can't do life without you." her voice cracked. "and i'm so fucking sorry this is my fault, i don't know why you picked up the phone when i don't deserve it."
"because i love you." he chuckled. "that's why."
"i love you too." she heard him sigh. "want to see you."
"why didn't you facetime me then?"
"cause i'm kinda outside already." he froze. "wanna open?"
"what do you mean outside?" he walked up to his window and there she was leaning against the hood of her car looking up at him. "the fuck are you doing here?" he threw his phone in the bed before going downstairs.
"what's got you in such a rush man?" one of his roomates asked as all the guys in the living room looked at him but he didn't answer.
instead he jogged to the door, opened it and walked up to her.
"you're here." he said as if it wasn't obvious once he got to her.
"yeah." she didn't wait for anything before wrapping her arms around his neck.
"what are you doing?" his arms hugged tightly her waist.
"what i should've done months ago. come straight to you and nothing else." she pushed back a bit to be able to hold his face, her eyes held back tears. "you're the only person that really matters, the one i love the most."
he looked all over her face as if he was trying to catch a lie in her words but he didn't find any.
"and i don't want lose you, not now not ever rafe." she cried. "i don't know and i don't want to live without you."
he held her close and kissed her temple.
"let's go inside. it's cold." she agreed with a nod and let him lead her inside, avoiding his roomates and going straight to his space.
they sat on his bed facing each other.
"i know you probably don't believe me from the amount of times i've said sorry and the repeated the same things i did before." she sniffled in between words. "but i'm sorry, i'm sorry i hurted you so much and that it took me this long to realise you could get tired of me and my behaviour."
he only stared at her and chewed his lower lip. he felt like a little kid.
"do you think you have it in your heart to give me another chance? a chance to make it right?" there were only a few times where she felt her heart beating how it was doing right now. all of them had to do with rafe but they had never been sad moments, the only sad moment rafe had given her was one she created herself.
he was that good of a boyfriend.
"how do i know once we're comfortable again you won't let me down?" he sounded defeated. "because i'd give the world for you and i can't do it again. i can't give you everything again and not get the same treatment back."
"because i'd rather give up everything, change schools and move right next to you than lose you." his eyebrows raised with surprise.
"won't let you give up your dreams." he sighed. "that's not what i want."
"i know but i'd give up everything just to have a life by your side." her hand covered his.
his sight drawn to the warm he now felt and closed his eyes. even if he wanted to say no to be stubborn, he wouldn't be able to.
everypart of him already said yes but his mouth didn't. he just extended his arms, picked her up and placed her on his lap allowing himself to soften inside the hug that held him tight against her.
"i love you." inhaling her perfume he felt at home. nothing could ever feel like she did. "can't let you go even if i wanted to."
"i love you baby so much." she whispered back.
in that moment, that night as he held her tight against his chest and felt under his hand the rise and fall of her back with every breath he actually prayed to whatever was out there for this to not be a mistake, that forgiving her wouldn't bring him more sorrow.
he prayed to be able to keep hearing their love in the silence that only the darkness in the sky and the late hours of the night can bring to you.
A/N: we're back baby. we're soooo back. Rafe is in his villain era and i hate it(not)
angel
🎵blood orange - champagne coast
liked by johnbroutlegde1, kiaraCarrera and 2,976 others
angel imagine hating on me and im just chilling living my best life
view all comments
kiaracarrera I AM LITERALLY BITING MY SCREEN BODY IS SO TEA
kiaracarrera I just fell to my knees in the middle of The Wreck!!!!!!
kiaracarrera I’m foaming at the mouth!!!!!!
kiaracarrera I am a feral beast !!!!
↪angel KIE PLEASE 😭 the customers are watching!!
↪kiaracarrera LET THEM WATCH ME WORSHIP MY BEST FRIEND🛐
johnbroutlegde1 that sunscreen smiley face stayed on for three days. i was branded. I'm yours forever now.
↪angel you were never mine. and you never will be. hope this clears things up!
↪popeheyward @angel great job! now the rest of his back is peeling like a cheap sticker on a hot dashboard
↪jjthegoat @johnbroutlegde1 i got you bro, i’ll just peel the rest off for you🐍
↪popeheyward DO NOT DO THAT JJ
topper_thornton It’s actually tragic watching someone try this hard to be "salt of the earth" after failing out of the real world. This isn't a vibe, it’s a cry for help. You look like you haven't seen a shower or a therapist in weeks. Go back to rehab, the beach isn't going to fix whatever's broken in your head 💊👋
↪angel bro is writing an essay in my comments🤣🤣🤣🤣
↪kiaracarrera @topper_thornton i will actually end you. keep her name out of your mouth before i find you
rafe_cameron liked your photo. (1 minute ago)
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kelcek Imagine going from a Cameron to a guy who lives in a shed with no AC. Major downgrade. Rafe is literally laughing at this in the group chat right now 🤡 Also, your beach looks like a literal swamp. Gross.
↪angel "rafe is laughing" …is that before or after he accidentally liked the post? and tell him to pay his own data bill before he talks about my downgrade 😘
↪jjthegoat @kelcek you’re a professional ass licker. how does Rafe's rim taste today? 👅
↪johnbroutlegde1 @kelcek keep talking shit and see how fast you end up in the marsh
you were sitting on sarah's bed, your brows furrowed in clear irritation as you watched sarah run in and out of her closet, panicking about her outfit for the 'small' party she was dragging you to. "i liked the first outfit, like. . . the one ten outfits ago." you said softly.
you, on the other hand, were already dressed and covered in body oil that reeked of vanilla, your outfit was a bit dramatic, but you were dramatic, so did it matter? nope!
"come on! you have to help, seriously! i have to impress top tonight," sarah whined as she pulled the dress she had just tried on & tossed it on her bed, you glanced over, stifling a giggle at the pile of clothes. "okay, fine." you mumbled, standing up and going into the walk-in closet, your two front teeth finding the plush of your bottom lip as you flicked through the clothing.
eventually you found a dress, it was cute, you immediately sighed of relief and tossed it at her, you grabbed a pair of white kitten heels from her closet and tossed them. "this. no buts," you stated.
"yes mom!" sarah grinned.
sarah had her small hands on your arm as you two walked into the big beach house, sarah immediately let go and whispered something about going to see topper, you nodded softly as you waved her off.
you weren't really the one for party scenes, just because. . . you weren't interested, simple.
the smell of alcohol abused your senses, the loud booming of house music in your ears, you made your way over to a random table, parting your lips before you felt a warm calloused hand grab your wrist, "doll, i'm so glad you came!" kelce said, you spun around and immediately smiled softly, "kelce! aww, i'm so glad you're back home. i missed your yacht," you joked, pulling him into a loving hug, you gave the best hugs!
you fluttered your lashes as you glanced over kelce's shoulder, seeing rafe, your breath caught in your throat slightly as kelce pulled away, you pushed your bouncy hair out of your face as kelce offered you a drink, "c'mon dolly, it'll be good, it tastes like vanilla, yea?" kelce murmured, handing you the red solo cup, you slowly lifted it up, sniffing it as your brows knitted together, looking up at kelce. "'kay. . . but just this one time." you said slowly, sipping it hesitantly.
a few minutes passed, and you had already had multiple of those drinks kelce made for you, the alcohol unfortunately flowing through you like it was your blood. it seemed like the floors were spinning.
you pouted your lips as you stood by yourself in the corner, eyes slightly widened as you tried to tell if the walls were spinning or if it was the alcohol, but why would you blame the alcohol? you're too stubborn for that.
a smooth deep voice filled your ears, it sounded familiar. . . too familiar.
"sweets, what happened to you?" rafe's voice filled your ears as he leaned down to talk softly in your ear, you whined slightly, your lashes fluttering up at him as you licked your glossy lips, he had a flushed face, a corona in his right hand, his bangs stuck to his sweaty forehead. "kelce. . . mmf, gave me a drink." you slurred, smiling and tilting your head slowly.
his jaw clenched as he sat his beer down, "i thought you didn't drink, doll." he hummed, continuing his sentence. "you told me. . . uhh, that alcohol was for 'losers'" you giggled softly as you nodded. "still stands."
rafe looked over his shoulder for kelce, he wanted to go punch him across his face and curse him for ever thinking about giving you a drink, he saw you as a pure, innocent girl who shouldn't ingest anything like that, you were different than all the other girls who he hangs out with.
"mm, my feet hurt, ray." you said softly, rubbing your temple, he sighed and shook his head, he wasn't gonna get on his knees in front of everyone and take your heels off. . . he found that humiliating.
so, instead, he just leaned down and scooped you up, you huffed softly as you hiccuped, your head lolled against his shoulder as he murmured hateful things, but he didn't mean them, he never did.
he helped you into his truck as he buckled you into the passenger seat, leaning over and pulling off the white heels on your soft feet, he looked over and you were already snoozing, he shook his head in disbelief. "unbelievable."
after a few minutes of driving he pulled into the driveway to the large home, "c'mon, you're home, gotta wake up." he said, nudging you as you whined in protest. he groaned, knowing how stubborn you were, he just gave in, getting out and walking to the passenger side, unbuckling the loose seatbelt, he leaned up and pulled you out the seat, carrying you bridal style.
walking up the stairs in the warm home, he glanced around for your room, he had been to the house plenty of times, because of topper. he reached your bedroom, it smelt of vanilla, fresh flowers. . . fairy lights, gold accents, designer bags in the floor, probably from a shopping spree. "alright, come on, sit up." he murmured softly, sitting you down on the soft bed, he glanced around the room, walking to your vanity, opening the drawers, grabbing a few cotton pads and what he assumed was makeup remover.
he clicked his tongue, gently cradling your face as he wiped the makeup off your face, biting his lip in focus as you fluttered your lashes, your big brown eyes meeting his serious ones. "what're you doing. . . ?" you murmured. "shh, shh, don't worry 'bout it princess, 'kay? 'm just getting you ready 'for bed." he whispered soothingly, you always brought out the softness in rafe he didn't realize he had.
that's what made him love. . . what? he meant like. . .
he helped you out of the itchy skirt and tank top, reaching over you and grabbing your slick pajama set, slipping it over your head and putting the bottoms on, he brushed out your hair and pressed soft kisses to your forehead as your lips parted contently.
"mmf, are you leaving?" you whispered as he nodded, continuing to shush you. "yeah doll." he murmured, standing up from the small bed. "'kay. . ."
"make sure to take medicine in the morning, or you might hate yourself." he said softly, walking to the doorframe. "g'night ray," you whispered as you rolled over on your stomach.
"goodnight precious."
a/n - can you guys tell i didn't know where to take this lolol. hope you enjoyed! I DID NOT PROOF READ!
IN WHICH ✶ Rafe Cameron is the last person Y/n should ever be acquainted with—her friend’s older brother, a cocky Kook, and the guy her and her friends despise most. He doesn’t want to get caught with a Pogue, and she doesn’t want to be caught with a Kook—especially him. But no matter how wrong it is, she’s still his dirty secret… and he’s hers.
warnings! nsfw (MDNI) 18+
“That’s a big fuckin’ wave, Jayj.” You turn your head to look at him, giving him a teasing smile. “You sure you can surf that?” A small chuckle leaving your lips as you ask.
“I don’t know…I’ll die trying.” He shrugs his shoulders, “You only live once.” He grins as she begins to move towards the wave.
You shake your head as you watch JJ paddle out, “He’s insane.” You mutter under your breath, looking out towards Kie, John B, and Sarah—who weren’t too far away on their boards.
“I’m just mad he beat me to it!” John B shouted loud enough for you to hear, his laugh loud. You slowly paddled towards the group, your eyes all on JJ as he quickly moved against the wave, planting his feet up in one fluid motion on the board as he rode the swell. His smile was big as he let the wave guide him.
“WOOHOO! Let’s fucking go!” You cheered, cupping your hands around your mouth to make your voice sound louder.
“Yeah, JJ!” Kie shouts from behind you as you all watch JJ paddle back towards the group.
“My boy.” John B grinned, patting JJ’s shoulder, looking impressed.
“I want this one.” You say out loud, paddling towards the wave.
“You got that, Y/N.” Kie nodded her head, eyes on you until her attention switched to the sound of engines on the sand. “Seriously?” She groaned, which caught the attention of the others, who had turned their heads back as well. “They couldn’t have parked anywhere else?” Kie muttered, her attention turning back to you.
Your hands quickly pushed up against the board, bringing you to your feet, balancing yourself as you rode the wave, hips guiding your direction as you curved. “Woohoo!” You cheered, your smile huge as you neared the end— until your balance faltered at the sight of Rafe Cameron stepping out of his black Range Rover.
The water swallowed you whole, but you quickly surfaced, brushing your wet hair out of your face. You paddled back to your friends, praying to the Gods they didn’t catch onto the fact you lost balance because of a certain someone.
Rafe popped his trunk open, slipping his Ray-Bans on before grabbing the cooler full with—probably just liquor. He slings his towel over his shoulder, grabbing his folded beach chair with his free hand and walking along the hot sand that kept slipping into his Birkenstocks.
He set the cooler down, then unfolded his chair next to it, throwing the towel over the back. Once he settled in his chair he opened the cooler, digging around for a Corona. “Rafe, get me a Seagram’s.” Rafe’s head looks up at Indi’s voice.
“What kind?” He asks, grabbing his Corona first.
“Uh…the pineapple one.” Indi says, sitting down in her own beach chair snapping open her tanning oil.
“Here.” Rafe hands her the ‘cooler’, “I don’t know how you drink that fruity shit.” He makes a face of slight disgust, his nose scrunching.
Indi grabs it from his hand. “And I don’t know how you drink all that beer, but you don’t hear me complaining.” She shrugs her shoulders with a knowing look before clamping the bottle cap between her teeth, popping it open.
“I don’t know how you do that.” Rafe shook his head, passing his beer to Indi, silently asking her to open his.
“Strong teeth.” Indi grins, clacking her teeth together in a wide smile before popping the cap off for Rafe.
“Thanks.” Rafe mutters, taking a long sip as he lets his gaze drift over at the water. Noticing the pogues—you specifically. He’s never actually seen you surfing before, but you’ve talked about it numerous times though.
“If they pick a fight over some dumb waves I'm ending it all.” Rafe says flatly—looking over at Topper and Kelce jogging towards the water with their boards under their arms. Knowing how those two get when it comes to surfing? A fight was almost always guaranteed.
“Those pogues should’ve just stayed on their side of the island.” Ruthie comments—and Rafe almost rolls his eyes at her annoying voice, looking over at Indi to catch her reaction.
Indi stayed silent, watching as Ruthie sat beside her friend—who was equally as annoying.
“Pogues always ruin everything…” Ruthie’s friend—Ellie says. She was a complete airhead. “Do you think pogues thrift for fun…or for…like life?” She asks, sidetracking the conversation.
Indi slowly turns her head to Rafe, making a face of confusion. “Is she dumb?” She mouths. Rafe shrugs his shoulders, shaking his head in disbelief.
Rafe slightly leans forward in his chair, forearms resting on his knees, his beer hanging loosely between his fingers as his focus was on you. He watched as you sat on your board now, watching and cheering for your friends as you waited for a wave you liked.
“You’re staring.” Indi chimes in, interrupting Rafe’s thoughts.
“Huh—what? No.” Rafe straightens slightly, turning his head, quickly dismissing the girl’s accusations. “I’m just watching Top and Kelce.” Rafe shook his head, making up an excuse.
“Hm, sure.” Indi hummed, letting out a quiet laugh, rubbing her tanning oil over her arms.
Rafe leans back into his chair, slowly taking a sip of his beer. He subtly side eye’s Indi before shifting his attention back onto you, starting to doubt the dark tint of his sunglasses.
He watches as you paddle towards a wave, quickly planting your feet and riding the swell as you easily stay balanced. The smile on your face was impossible to miss, and before he could catch himself, Rafe's own expression changed into a small smile. He slightly shook his head in amusement, slowly taking another sip of his beer.
It wasn’t long until a problem started.
“This one’s mine.” Topper called out, and all of you turned at the sound of his voice.
“Yeah?” JJ tilted his head, glancing at the incoming wave.
“Yeah.” Topper started to paddle towards it without another word.
“You got that, Top.” Kelce encouraged his friend.
JJ looks at John B for a reaction before saying, “Hope you don’t mind if I join.” He grins, paddling towards the same wave.
“Yo—hey!” Topper exclaims, whipping his head over in time to see JJ cutting in on the same wave, caught off guard by the situation—Topper falls off his board. You couldn’t help but laugh along with your friends—it was kinda funny.
“Hey! blatant poach, man!” Rafe yells from the sand, his voice making your head turn.
“What the hell was that!” Ruthie shouts after Rafe.
You held eye contact with Rafe for a second, a small grin on your face before turning your head back to the scene in front of you.
“Classic pogue shit, man.” Topper huffs, swinging his leg over to straddle his board.
“It’s not that deep, bro.” Kie replied simply, watching Topper and Kelce complain.
The sun was starting to set, causing the sky to turn a pretty mix of orange and pink. The waves had calmed down, and the wind was starting to carry a breeze that was cold.
“Did someone grab my towel?” You ask, shaking off the sand in your slides, one hand up against the Twinkie to steady yourself and the other shaking your shoe.
“Yeah, I grabbed everyone’s. It’s in a pile in the back.” John B jerked his head toward the small mountain of towels.
“Look,” Kie muttered under her breath, you all turned your head to where she was looking. Ruthie and her friend heading your way.
You exchanged a look with Kie and rolled your eyes, “She can never quit it, can she?” You say slipping your slides back on.
“Need something, Ruthie?” You ask in irritation, hands coming up to rest on your hips.
Ruthie stopped a few feet ahead of you guys, crossing her arms over her chest like she owned the place. “You pogues ever get tired?”
“Of?” You raised your eyebrow.
“Stepping on our side of the island?” Ruthie tilted her head, trying to antagonize you.
“It’s the beach, Ruthie.” You scoff, throwing a hand up in frustration. “Does your daddy own the sand?” You look her up and down.
“Stay on your side of the island.” She gets close to you.
“Or what?” You ask, pushing the limits.
“You’ll finally realize you’re not nearly as untouchable as you believe you are.” Ruthie laughs bitterly. “You act all big and bold, like screwing a couple kooks suddenly puts us on the same level.”
“Oh—fuck you, Ruthie.” You laugh right in her face, already turning to walk away, ending the conversation but—Ruthie has other plans.
“What did you say?” She pushes you hard the second your back is towards her.
You whip around at the force, “I said fuck you.” You repeated yourself, not hesitating to push her back just as hard.
Ruthie steps forward quickly, throwing the first punch. Her fist hits your nose hard. You barely even register the blood starting to leak—you’re already throwing a punch back.
The other kooks start rushing over to watch the fight like it’s some show. “Yo—Rafe, Rafe, Rafe.” Indi repeatedly smacks Rafe's chest in excitement.
“What.” Rafe snaps in irritation, annoyed that his peace just got interrupted.
“Ruthie and Y/N are fighting.” Indi’s already on her feet, ignoring the hot sand on her feet as she jogged towards the fight.
Rafe glances back, “Oh, shit.” He chuckles, getting up from his beach chair and walking over there without any urgency.
“Yeah—fuck her up!” Kiara shouts, letting you handle it yourself—she didn’t plan on intervening until it got ugly.
John B and JJ were laughing at how fuckin’ ridiculous Ruthie looked. Her punches are messy and her hair is all over her face. “Man, pope and cleo are gonna be pissed they’re missing this.” JJ comments, big grin on his face.
“We should go break it up now—.” Sarah mutters, already feeling uneasy, she’s never liked fights that much.
Kie is about to respond but sees Ruthie’s friend cut in—starting to throw punches at you. “Bro—hey!” Kie rushes in, trying to pull her away. Ellie spins around to grab a handful of Kie’s hair. “Bitch—are you serious?” Kie pushes her away, fixing her hair before swinging a punch of her own.
“Alright—shit, that’s enough!” Topper shouts, wrapping his arms around Ruthie’s waist, who was still swinging blindly, hoping to land something.
Sarah tries to intervene, pushing Kie and Ellie away from each other. “Okay—bitch, back up!” Sarah snaps at Ellie, pulling Kie away.
You and Ruthie are still rushing towards each other, Toppers struggling to hold Ruthie back—you manage to land one more good punch before you feel hands around your waist, pulling you back. “Hey—!” You shout, ready to yell at who was holding you back, but you freeze when you see Rafe.
He was holding you back.
“All this shit over some stupid waves.” He huffs, setting you down and letting you go. His expression is hard to read, but you can tell he’s annoyed. “You good?” You nod your head, wiping the blood from under your nose with the back of your hand.
“Alright.” Rafe looks at Ruthie. “Are you good?”
“Sure, whatever.” Ruthie huffs out of breath, glaring at you from over Topper's shoulder.
“Problem solved.” Rafe mutters, turning away like nothing happened. “Let’s get outta here.”
You stand there for a second, watching all the kooks walk away, trying to catch your breath. “That bitch is literally insane.” You mutter, getting into the back of the Twinkie.
“Yeah, and who’s that random ass fuckin’ girl.” Kie asks, sitting down next to you.
“I think her name’s Ellie.” Sarah says, sliding into the seat across from you guys. “I don’t know—she’s kind of…irrelevant on figure eight.” Sarah shakes her head and shrugs her shoulders.
“You guys good?” John B asks, looking over from the driver's seat to check in on all of you. “Here.” He throws you a clean rag. “For your nose.”
“Thanks.” You catch it and press it gently to your nostril.
Rafe sneaks downstairs without a problem, knowing how deep Rose and Wheezie sleep, so a little creak here and there won’t hurt.
He unlocks the front door for you, opening it enough for you to slide in, “Hey.” He says under his breath, you walk in, watching as he quietly shuts the door behind you.
“Hi.” You mutter softly, Rafe grabs your hand without another word and leads you upstairs to his room.
The second you two step foot into his room he locks the door with a quiet click. You slip your shoes off by his dresser before walking over to sit at the edge of his bed. Rafe follows, the bed sinking at the combined body weight.
“Lemme look at your face.” Rafe says simply, voice low and hoarse. His hand comes up to gently lift your jaw, turning your face to examine it.
“Jesus.” He sighs, thumb running over the faint bruises. He turns your face the other way, looking at your nose. “She got you good.”
“I know.” You huff in annoyance. “She caught me off guard, I didn’t think she would swing.” Rafe’s hand drops from your jaw, his eyes flickering down at your hand before reaching for it. “She shoved me when my back was towards her.”
“Pussy move.” Rafe comments, rubbing slow circles over your knuckles with his thumb.
“Well—yeah, Ruthie’s a pussy.” You let out a dry laugh, shaking your head.
“She got your lip too.” Rafe’s thumb lifts up to gently rub over the cut on your lip.
“Who won? Be honest.” You ask, a small grin forming on your face.
“I think you won,” Rafe nods his head. “It wasn’t a bad fight, you both got good hits. You were smart with your swings, Ruthie was just being messy.”
“Yeah…but…I bled…” You mumble under your breath, a bit embarrassed. “I don’t think she did.”
“C’mon—the bitch bled all over my fuckin’ car the whole ride back.” Rafe shook his head with a light laugh.
“She did?” Your eyes slightly widen at that.
“Yeah.” He grinned, nodding his head. “Nose wouldn’t stop bleeding, she was bitchin’ the whole time too. Complaining about her face, about you, about everything.”
“When does she not bitch out, though?” You quietly laugh, a small giggle following.
“I seriously don’t know why Topper’s with her.” Rafe’s nose scrunched up in distaste. “Ruthie runs him around like a dog.”
“Topper’s always loved to get bossed around though, no?” You laugh, asking him.
“Yeah—you’re not wrong.” Rafe shakes his head with a laugh. “Look—Top’s my man, but…” He tilts his head, trying to figure out how to word this. “He seriously needs to get with better girls.”
It goes silent for a couple seconds, it wasn’t uncomfortable nor unbearable. It was easy. “Who fixed you up, hm?” Rafe asks, tone light and a bit teasing.
“Sarah.” You respond simply.
Rafe nods, “Figured.” He sighs, “She freak out?”
“A little.” You shrug, “You know how she is about fights.” You add, “Told me I should’ve just walked away.”
“Sounds like her.” He nods his head in amusement.
Rafe’s eyes linger on yours, then flickering to your lips, then back up to your eyes. “You looked hot, by the way.” He grinned.
“Shut up.” You lightly shove his shoulder, fighting your smile.
“No, I'm serious.” Rafe insists. “You looked hot—knowing you can fight…it’s hot.” He shrugs.
“How in the world is that hot?” You shake your head, not believing him.
“Because you can handle your own.” Rafe nods his head in a dramatic manner, “I’m being for real, Y/N.” A soft laugh escapes his lips.
You scoff, shaking your head. “Whatever.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Rafe mockingly repeats after you. His hand lifts up to cup your cheek, “Tell me if this hurts.” He whispers before leaning in to kiss you.
Rafe was gentle, being careful with your cut lip. It stung at first, but you didn’t mind it. You brush your hand up to hold onto his bicep. “Hmm…” You hum, enjoying the sensation. Rafe pulled away, a small string of saliva connecting you two.
“It hurt?” He asks.
“No, not really.” You shake your head.
“Good.” He leans in again, this time the kiss was almost…desperate. Without breaking it, his hand moved to hold onto your side, scooting himself back up against his headboard. The movement pulls you with him until you’re straddling his lap.
You slowly grind down on his growing boner, “You’re so fuckin’ hot.” Rafe groans, pulling away to start peppering kisses down your neck. Your eyes close in pleasure.
Rafe couldn’t help himself, his mouth found a soft spot of your neck, and he sucked down a little too hard. “Sorry—.” Rafe mumbles against your skin, before going back in to suck the same spot.
“Hm..” You hum at the sharp sting, “Rafe…” You sigh, like you were warning him.
“I know…I know…” He goes back to peppering light—soft kisses before reluctantly pulling away to talk. “I’ll let you give me one…” He leans in for a quick peck, leaning back to tug his shirt over his head, throwing it somewhere on his bed.
You follow suit, taking off your hoodie. “Wow, no bra. You’re freaky.” Rafe teases, gawking down at your boobs.
“Shut up.” You laugh lightly.
Rafe’s hands are low on your waist, one of his palms sliding down to cup your ass as you slowly grind against him. The same hand soon comes up behind your neck, tugging you down towards his neck, like he was desperate for a fuckin’ hickey.
You pull back to look at him. “You sure?” You ask, searching his face for confirmation. “Thought you didn’t do hickies?” A teasing grin spreads across your face.
“S’only fair.” Rafe lazily nods.
“Okay..” You say quietly, leaning in to press a soft kiss just below his jaw. You take your time, teasing—licking—biting. Your teeth grazes his skin, just enough to make him tense, your tongue tracing the spot afterwards.
“Quit teasin’.” Rafe whispers, voice rough and low.
A quiet giggle slips from your lips before finally finding a good spot. You peck the skin, then open your mouth to suck, holding it for a few seconds so the bruise could form. You could hear his breath stutter from the sensation.
You couldn’t help but like it, the idea of Rafe letting you mark him up like he was yours.
“Shit…” Rafe exhales sharply, his eyes on your every movement as you pull away. You don’t stop for long, going back to press slow kisses down his chest, stopping a moment here and there to suck another hickey. Your body shifting lower against his. “Y/N…”
“This okay?” You mumble as you sit up. Your fingers trace the waistband of his sweats, just barely dipping beneath the fabric.
“More than okay.” Rafe nods his head, lifting his hips up enough for you to tug his sweatpants down. Your thumbs hook into the fabric of the waistband, once you’ve pulled it down far enough—he takes over, using his legs to kick the sweats off. Just leaving him in his boxers.
You reach into his boxers, pulling his hard cock out. You let out a small giggle at Rafe twitching, desperate for your touch. You lean over his tip, letting your spit slowly drip down. You took your time, looking up at Rafe who was looking down at you, giving him that teasing look in your eyes before you licked a long stripe up his shaft.
“You’re a fuckin’ tease, baby.” Rafe lets out a low laugh, his hand coming up to grab a fistful of your hair. “Quit actin’ up.” He warns you.
You smile, wrapping your hand around the base of his cock, your tongue licking his sensitive tip before fully wrapping your mouth around him.
“Fuck—yeah.” Rafe groans, slightly thrusting up into your mouth, all while pushing your head down. You suck on his head, pulling off to spit all your saliva onto it. “You’re so pretty…” Rafe’s breath stutters as he watches you kiss his tip.
You hollow out your cheeks when you go down on him, gagging from his tip hitting your reflex. Embarrassingly so—Rafe almost cums just at the look of your face. “Get up.” He gently yanks you up, hurriedly switching positions so you’re laying on your back.
He pulls your sweatpants and underwear down in a hurry—like he was feenin’ for you. He wraps his arms around your thighs, holding you up against his skin. He slaps his tip against your clit, rubbing it—and dragging it along your folds, teasing you, before he aligns his cock—slowly slipping in.
You softly gasp at the burning pleasure, his cock going in deeper and deeper until he bottomed out. “Rafe…” You quietly hum.
“Feels s’good.” Rafe murmured. Thrusting in and out of you, starting at a slow-easy pace. “Like it when you say m’name.” He mumbles lazily, his focus entirely on you.
His pace starts to quicken with a need. “Fuck..” He starts pounding, thrusts becoming lazy, feeling the pleasure build up second by second. He pulls out, you exhale a breath as the sudden loss. “Turn around.” Rafe’s hands find your waist, helping you turn to lay on your stomach, “Yeah—yeah, ass up.” You arch your back into the position, knees coming up. He slips it in, not wasting a second.
“Fuck—you feel so good.” Rafe moans. His hands have a tight grip on your hips, pounding harder with each thrust, his cock hitting another angle with this position.
His gaze was locked on the way your ass recoiled every time he pounded into you, the sight addicting to Rafe. The sound of your skin clapping together…he was losing it.
“Rafe…faster…” Your words come out all mumblely, barely audible from the way your face was hidden in your arms.
“Say that again, baby.” Rafe asks through huffed breaths.
“Faster..” You turn your head to the side, looking over your shoulder.
“Yeah—okay, baby…” Rafe nods his head, picking up the pace. He was twitching like a man on drugs, the pleasure becoming too much—driving him insane.
“..I—ugh, fuck.” He stuttered, choking on his words. “I’m close…” He mutters under his breath, but instead of going faster—or going harder—he pulls out again. Quickly rolling you over onto your back again, the sudden switch in position makes you quietly gasp.
Rafe’s hands massage your thighs, “S’good for me.” He moves down your body, pressing light teasing kisses to your inner thighs. He presses a gentle kiss to your clit before his tongue traces your wet slit.
“Shit—.” You try—and fail to moan quietly. Your hands go up to grab Rafe's head, pulling on his hair.
“Shh, baby. Quiet.” He whispers, his tongue fucking into you. His hand hooks under your thigh, the other softly massaging your clit with his thumb—stimulating you in the best way. Rafe was so good at making you—feel good. It was unexplainable. The way his tongue was fucking you—God, it was like all your troubles were lifted.
You whimper, legs trying to close shut from the pleasure, but Rafe holds them down firmly. “Keep ‘em open.” He mumbles.
You bite your lip, trying to keep all your noises at bay. “Fuck….” You squirm, grinding your face against Rafe's tongue. He licks his tongue up to your clit, sucking on the sensitive bud, making you whimper.
Rafe sits back up, wrapping your legs around his waist before slipping his cock back in. His pacing starts out fast, needy and desperate. He's leaning over you, hands planted by the sides of your face so he could pound into you easier.
Rafe looked at you—like he was really looking at you. He watched as your teeth latched onto your bottom lip, the way your face twisted every time he hit the spot, the way your eyes fluttered shut every now and then.
His fingers wrapped around your throat—rough in a way that felt good. “So fuckin’ sexy.” Rafe's voice was low and rough—a clear need in its tone. His pounding becomes relentless—yet messy. You could feel the way his fingers would just—ever so slightly tighten up around your neck.
“I’m close, Rafe…” Your voice is so soft—and fucking whiny.
Rafe loves it.
“Come for me, baby.” Rafe’s breaths come out heavy, his hand around your throat ungripping to move down to your clit, rubbing it in circles as he continues to thrust into you. “Wan’ you coming on my cock.” His words come out all rough and desperate.
You grab the back of his neck, pulling him down to you, “I’m coming—.” You muttered before leaning in for a kiss. It wasn’t clean and practiced. It was messy and emotional, like Rafe was losing his mind.
When Rafe pulls away, it feels like time has frozen. You and Rafe stare each other down. Rafe’s face is easy to read, he looks hesitant and scared, like he’s experiencing something new. He’s lost in your eyes, the way you look at him like a person, like he was worth the world.
“Remember to pull out.” Your voice brings him back to reality.
“Y-yeah.” He nods his head, choking on his words.
A moment later he pulls out, hand wrapped around his cock as he cums on your stomach. His breathing is heavy and uneven.
“You’re buying my plan b.” You lightly laugh, breaking the slight tension between you two.
“Yeah—yeah. I’ll get it before I drop you off.” He shakes his head, softly chuckling. Rafe reaches over into his night table and pulls out some tissues, cleaning your stomach up with the paper towel, then moving to clean up around your thighs.
“Thank you,” You softly mumble, moving to sit up, but Rafe stops you.
“Let’s just lay down for a bit…I'll drive you home after.” Rafe suggests, laying down beside you, pulling the covers over your bodies.
“Oh…okay.” You nod your head, turning to face Rafe in bed, he pulls your head close to his chest. You can hear how fast his heart is beating.
You and Rafe are crossing a line that the both of you knew you shouldn’t be crossing.
But deep down, you didn’t mind.
masterlist — previous — next
note; i hope the surfing scene was decently described! i had to watch so many videos of ppl surfing lol
04. doomed | smau+irl | masterlist — previous — next
IN WHICH ✶ Rafe Cameron is the last person Y/n should ever be acquainted with—her friend’s older brother, a cocky Kook, and the guy her and her friends despise most. He doesn’t want to get caught with a Pogue, and she doesn’t want to be caught with a Kook—especially him. But no matter how wrong it is, she’s still his dirty secret… and he’s hers.
You were practically running laps in Rafe’s head. He couldn’t shake the thought of you—hadn’t been able to since last week, when he felt the shift between you two.
“Fuck…” Rafe muttered under his breath, eyes glued to the messages on his screen, already starting to regret his genius idea to act like an asshole so you’d pull away first. He kept typing, then deleting, typing again—hoping you couldn’t see the stupid three dots popping up and disappearing.
“Rafe!” Indiana shouted as she walked into the house, slamming the patio door behind her. “Why are you moping in here?” she asked, circling the kitchen island to grab snacks from the cabinet. Her eyes flicked to him. “Topper said you’ve got your panties in a twist today.”
“Topper can kiss my ass,” Rafe scoffed, shaking his head. He locked his phone and tossed it onto the counter.
Indi had noticed he’d been off lately. She’d always been good at reading people—especially him.
“Did something happen?” She nodded toward his phone. “You’ve been on that thing all day. Like, more than usual.” She dragged out the last part for emphasis.
“It’s nothing.” Rafe shook his head, brushing it off.
“Yeah, right,” Indi laughed. “You’ve been weird all week. Did Ward say something to you? Or what?” She leaned against the counter, clearly not letting it go.
Rafe hesitated. His mouth opened like he was about to speak, then shut just as fast. He didn’t know how to say it.
“If I tell you—you seriously can’t say shit. Got it?” He held up a finger in warning. “Like seriously. If I find out you opened your big mouth to Topper—or even Kelce, who has an even bigger fucking mouth—I will kill you.”
Indi laughed in his face, knowing he was bluffing. “Shut up, idiot. You know I won’t say anything.” She slid into the seat beside him, grinning.
“There’s this girl I’ve been messing with—maybe for like… two months?” Rafe exhaled. “I—I think I like her. Like, for real like her.” He glanced at Indi, waiting for her reaction.
“Y/n?” Indi guessed, and Rafe’s face fell slightly.
“How the fuck do you know that?” His voice rose a notch as he shot her a scowl.
“I just put two and two together.” She laughed out loud.
Rafe stared at her like she’d just committed a crime. “There is no two and two,” he shot back quickly. “You’re just making shit up.”
“Please.” Indi rolled her eyes, popping a chip into her mouth. “You go dead quiet every time she walks into a room. And you look at her like you’re either about to fight her or kiss her. There’s not really an in-between.”
Rafe’s jaw tightened. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Rafe.” Her tone softened just slightly. “Everyone knows how much you hate pogues, but you don’t seem to hate her.”
He dragged a hand down his face, frustrated. “It’s not that simple—and-and I don’t hate pogues, I'm not like Topper and Kelce.
“Then what is it?” Indi leaned her elbow on the counter, chin in her hand. “Because from where I’m sitting, you look…stressed—and not in your usual ‘Let me go snort a line of coke to make things better’ way.”
He hesitated again, glancing at his phone like it might light up with your name at any second.
“It’s just—” He exhaled sharply. “She makes it complicated.”
“Why, ‘cause she’s a pogue?” Indi questions, raising a brow.
Rafe let out a sharp breath, shaking his head. “I don’t give a fuck that she’s a Pogue. It’s not—” He cut himself off, frustrated, running a hand through his hair. “It’s more complicated than that.”
Indi gave him a look that said she wasn’t buying it. “Rafe. Stop lying to yourself.” Her voice wasn’t teasing anymore. “Part of you is ashamed. Maybe not of her—but of what it means. Just own that.”
His jaw tightened. “It’s not just that,” he muttered. “She’s Sarah’s friend. How the hell am I supposed to tell my sister I’m fucking her best friend?”
Indi winced. “Okay—first of all, maybe don’t phrase it like that.”
Rafe ignored her, pacing a step away from the counter. “Sarah and I already barely talk without it turning into a fight. She already thinks I’m the bad guy in every situation. If I tell her this?” He scoffed under his breath. “She’ll think I’m messing with her friend just to prove some kind of point.”
Indi studied him for a second. “So don’t make it about that.”
Rafe looked at her like she’d grown a second head. “What does that even mean?”
“It means,” she said evenly, “if you actually like this girl—if it’s real—then stop acting like it’s some dirty secret you have to confess. That’s what’s making it worse.”
“But it is a dirty secret,” Rafe muttered, quieter now. “For me and for Y/N.” He paused, jaw flexing. “That’s how this all started. We promised it would stay between us.” He let out a frustrated sigh, dragging a hand down his face.
Indi just shrugged. “Well. You lost.”
“No fucking shit, dumbass,” Rafe scoffed, snatching the bag of chips out of her hands.
She laughed, unfazed. “You caught feelings. That’s not losing—that’s just inconvenient.”
He rolled his eyes, but he didn’t argue.
“Inconvenient doesn’t even cover it,” he muttered. “If this blows up, it screws everything. Her friendships. My already shitty relationship with Sarah. The whole damn island loves picking sides.”
Indi leaned back against the counter, watching him spiral. “So what are you actually scared of?” she asked. “That people find out? Or that she might decide she doesn’t wanna be your secret anymore?”
That one hit.
Rafe went still, chip halfway to his mouth.
“She wouldn’t—” he started automatically, then stopped. Because he didn’t actually know that.
Indi raised a brow. “Exactly.”
He clenched his jaw, tossing the chip back into the bag like it suddenly tasted like cardboard. “I just don’t wanna screw this up.”
“I think I like her.”
The words came out quieter than everything else he’d said—less defensive, less angry. Just honest.
Indi didn’t tease him this time.
She tilted her head slightly. “Yeah,” she said softly. “I figured.”
Rafe let out a slow breath, like admitting it had taken something out of him. “It’s different with her.” He stared down at the counter, jaw tight. “It wasn’t supposed to be. It was just—fun. Easy. No strings.”
“And now?” Indi asked.
“And now I’m checking my phone like an idiot every five seconds.” He huffed out a dry laugh. “Now I’m thinking about telling Sarah. About not hiding it. About—” He stopped himself, shaking his head. “That’s not me.”
Indi crossed her arms. “Maybe it is.”
He shot her a look.
“What?” she shrugged. “You act like caring about someone makes you weak or something. It doesn’t.”
Rafe’s expression hardened slightly. “It does if it gives people leverage.”
“You gotta stop thinking like that.” Indi shakes her head, her voice reassuring. “You can’t put walls up every time you feel someone gets too close.”
“That’s the thing,” Rafe said, voice strained. “I’ve never felt like this before. Not with anyone. It’s just her.” He dragged his palm down his face like he could wipe the confession away.
Indi didn’t look surprised.
“Are you still seeing other girls?” she asked.
He gave a tight nod. “Yeah. You know I am. Everyone knows I am.”
“And does Y/N know that?”
“Of course she does,” he answered automatically.
Indi held his gaze. “Did you tell her? Or does she just… know the reputation?”
That made him hesitate.
“We never said we were anything,” he muttered. “It’s not like I promised her shit.”
“But you promised her secrecy,” Indi pointed out.
His jaw flexed.
“That’s different.”
“Is it?” she challenged softly.
Rafe pushed off the counter, pacing a few steps like the kitchen suddenly felt too small. “She knew what this was when it started. Sneaking around. No strings. No drama.”
“And now?”
He stopped walking.
“Now I don’t wanna be with anyone else,” he admitted, quieter. “But I also don’t know how to stop being who I’ve been.”
Indi’s expression shifted—less teasing, more understanding.
“So you’re scared,” she said simply.
“I’m not scared.”
“You are,” she insisted. “You’re scared that if you drop the other girls, people will notice. And if people notice, they’ll start asking why. And if they start asking why, it leads back to her.”
Rafe didn’t respond.
Because she wasn’t wrong.
“Maybe I should just cut it off,” Rafe muttered, staring at the floor. “Before it turns into something I can’t control.” He swallowed hard. “She deserves a guy who won’t screw her over. And I don’t trust myself not to.”
Indi went very still, then let out a slow breath through her nose.
“God, you’re such an idiot,” she muttered.
Rafe shot her an annoyed look. “I’m trying to do the right thing.”
“No,” she said firmly. “You’re trying to avoid feeling something that scares you.”
He scoffed. “I’m not scared.”
“You are,” she countered immediately. “You’re scared that if this turns into something real, you’ll screw it up. So you’d rather end it now and tell yourself it was for her own good.”
Rafe’s jaw flexed. “You don’t know that.”
“I do,” she said. “Because if you really thought she deserved better, you’d try to be better. Not walk away.”
That one landed.
He looked away, silent.
Indi stepped closer, lowering her voice. “You don’t get to decide you’re bad for her and make that choice on her behalf. She’s not some fragile thing you need to protect from yourself.”
He ran a hand through his hair again, frustrated. “I just don’t wanna be the guy that ruins her.”
“Then don’t ruin her,” Indi shot back. “Communicate. Be honest. Stop hiding behind the whole ‘this is just a secret fling’ excuse.”
Silence stretched.
“And if you end it,” she said, softer this time, “Let it be because you don’t want her. Not because you’re scared of how much you do.”
Rafe looked away, jaw ticking.
Indiana didn’t give him the chance to disappear into his head again. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him toward the patio doors. “Alright. That’s enough doom and gloom for one afternoon.”
‘The dock’, You didn’t need him to clarify—you already knew exactly which one he meant.
You slipped into your worn-out flip-flops, shoved your phone into the pocket of your sweatpants, and eased the screen door open. Wincing at the faint creak, you carefully pulled it shut behind you, slow and gentle, making sure no one inside woke up.
The overgrown grass in your front yard brushed against your arms as you lifted your old bike off the ground. You swung your leg over the seat and started pedaling, heading straight for the dock by the boneyard.
The chain on your bike clicked with every push of the pedals, loud in the quiet of the night. The dock came into view slowly, the wood pale under the moonlight, water shifting beneath it. A faint silhouette stood at the edge, shoulders tense, like he’d been there for a while.
You slowed as you reached the edge of the sand, letting the bike fall gently into the grass. The world felt too quiet all of a sudden—just the distant crash of waves from the boneyard and the soft knock of water against the dock posts.
“Hey,” you say quietly as you walk down the worn, splintering wood toward where Rafe’s standing.
“Hey.” He turns, finally facing you.
He’s dressed like he always is—some polo paired with tan khakis, Birkenstocks that look fresh out of the box. So put together yet not—it almost makes you roll your eyes.
“You wanted to talk?” you ask, shoving your hands into your pockets so he can’t see your fingers twisting together.
“Yeah. Sit.” Rafe gestures to the dock and lowers himself down first. You follow, settling beside him.
He glances over as you adjust your posture, sitting up straighter while you pull the rolled joint from one pocket and a lighter from the other.
“Talk,” you say, placing it between your lips. You flick the lighter, bringing the flame to the end and inhaling slowly, the tip burning bright as you draw in the smoke.
“Sorry about being such an asshole earlier.” Rafe started, watching the smoke leave your mouth. “Something came up and I took it out on you.” He lied, using some half-ass excuse hoping you don’t catch on.
“Yeah. You were being an asshole.” You grin a little as you pass him the joint. “Didn’t realize being concerned about your well-being made me desperate.”
You nudge his shoulder lightly with yours, a quiet laugh slipping out.
You watch as he brings the joint to his lips, wrapping them around it and inhaling slowly. The tip glows for a second before he exhales, smoke fading into the dark sky.
For a second, neither of you say anything.
He keeps his eyes on the water instead of you, elbow resting on his knee, joint dangling loosely between his fingers. The tension from earlier hasn’t really gone anywhere—it’s just sitting there, heavy, unspoken.
“You aren’t desperate. Not at all,” he mutters after a second. “I just… have a habit of self-destructing.” He says it like a joke, and it pulls a small laugh out of you.
“I can tell,” you smile. “So, what’d you do today?” you ask, genuinely curious as you take the joint from his fingers and lift it to your lips.
“Nothing much. The guys came over—Indi too. We just drank and hung out by the pool.” He shrugs, like it’s just another regular summer day. “You?”
“Just went surfing and smoked some weed,” You hum. “Nothing crazy.”
“Same old, same old,” Rafe mutters, and you nod in agreement.
“Yeah, basically.”
The joint is almost gone now. You take a couple more hits before handing it back to him. “Here. Finish it.”
He takes it from you, your fingers brushing for a second before he brings it to his lips. He inhales, slow and steady, then exhales toward the water. When it’s done, he flicks what’s left off the dock, watching it disappear below.
Rafe leans back on his hands, eyes dragging over you like he’s debating something. “I—,” he says, but pauses like he doesn’t know what to say.
You tilt your head slightly. “What?”
He huffs out a quiet breath, almost frustrated with himself. “I don’t know how to not screw this up.”
You don’t say anything, just wait.
“I push,” he continues, staring straight ahead. “That’s what I do. When something starts to matter, I find a way to ruin it before it ruins me.”
Your throat feels tight. “Is that what you were doing?”
He nods once. “Yeah.”
You take a second, trying to piece the words together before they come out wrong. “Do you… want us to be more?” you finally ask.
“I—I don’t know what I want us to be,” he stumbles, running a hand through his hair. “All I know is you make me feel some type of way, and I don’t like it. It’s new. It’s weird.” The words start spilling out faster, tripping over each other as he rambles.
You can’t help it—you find it kind of endearing.
You watch him trip over his own words, eyebrows pulling together like he’s frustrated with himself. It’s almost cute—seeing him this undone, this unsure.
You soften a little. “It’s okay if it’s new.”
He shakes his head. “That’s the problem. I don’t do new. I don’t do feelings. I don’t do…” He gestures between you. “Whatever this is.”
You raise a brow. “And what is this?”
He looks at you for a long second, like the answer’s sitting right there but scares him to admit. “It’s not just hooking up,” he says quietly. “And that’s what’s messing with me.”
Your heart thuds a little harder at that.
“It’s different with you,” he adds, almost under his breath, like he doesn’t want the night to hear it.
“Let it be different,” you say quietly.
Rafe doesn’t respond right away. He just sits there, staring out at the water. You don’t rush him or search his face for an answer—you let the silence settle naturally. After a minute, his shoulders loosen slightly, like he’s not used to being given that kind of space. He appreciates it.
“Wanna swim?” you ask suddenly, breaking the tension.
You’re already pulling your top over your head, leaving yourself in just your bra as you stand.
Rafe glances up at you, eyes lingering for a second before he nods. “Yeah.”
You shimmy your sweatpants down your legs, stepping out of them and leaving them in a small pile on the dock. He stands too, slipping off his Birkenstocks and tugging his shorts down, tossing his polo on top of your clothes.
Before he can say anything else, you’re already jumping off the edge, the cool water rushing up to meet you.
The water is shockingly cool against your skin, stealing the air from your lungs for a second before you resurface with a sharp breath and a laugh.
A second later, there’s a splash behind you.
“Shit—that’s cold,” Rafe mutters as he comes up, slicking his hair back out of his face.
You grin, swimming closer to him. “You said yeah.”
He rolls his eyes, but there’s no real bite to it. Moonlight reflects off the ripples between you, the dock looming just overhead.
You slide your arms around his neck, and he pulls you in without hesitation, his hands settling at your waist beneath the cool water.
“I don’t know how to let things be different,” Rafe admits quietly. “Not the way you do. I can’t just drop my old habits. I don’t know how to stop being… me. How to stop losing control. How to not be so pissed off all the time. How to—”
“How to stop hooking up with other girls?” you cut in with a small grin, a little teasing edge to your tone. “Just something to think about.”
A soft laugh slips from you, but your eyes stay on his.
He huffs, shaking his head slightly.
“You can’t commit,” you say more seriously now. “Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”
Rafe doesn’t answer right away. His hands stay at your waist, but his grip softens, thumbs brushing back and forth like he’s grounding himself.
“It’s not that I can’t commit,” he says after a second, voice low. “It’s that I don’t trust myself to keep it steady.”
You hold his gaze. “Steady how?”
“I get bored. I get angry. I push people away before they can leave me.” He exhales, shaking his head slightly. “It’s easier to mess something up on purpose than wait for it to fall apart.”
“And it doesn’t exactly help that you’re a Pogue,” he admits. “And my sister’s best friend.”
You nod, because you understand. That was the whole reason you’d wanted to keep this quiet in the first place. Him being Sarah’s brother—and an insufferable Kook—already made it complicated enough.
“Doomed from the start,” you say, almost teasing.
“Yeah,” Rafe murmurs. “That’s usually how my stories go.”
You smile at him gently, feeling how stiff he still is under your touch.
“Relax,” you say quietly. “We both agreed this was just a secret little thing.”
He doesn’t look away.
“It was supposed to be easy,” you add. “No complications. Just fun. Just us, without dragging the whole island into it.”
Your hands slide lightly over his jawline. “You don’t have to overthink it every time it starts to feel real.”
“How can you say that?” Rafe asks, his voice tighter now—almost pleading. “Do you not feel anything for me?”
You exhale softly, shaking your head.
“Of course I feel something for you,” you admit. “If anything, I feel too much.”
His expression shifts at that—like he wasn’t expecting you to say it so easily.
“But that’s exactly why I’m not freaking out,” you continue, your voice calmer than you actually feel. “Because if I let myself spiral every time this gets complicated, we’d never make it past a week.”
You glance down at the water between you before looking back at him.
“I know what this is. I knew what this was when we started.”
Your fingers tighten slightly at the back of his neck. “That doesn’t mean I don’t feel it. It just means I’m choosing not to let it scare me.”
“Just let it flow,” you say softly. “Let the universe figure it out for us.”
That earns you a look.
Rafe huffs a quiet laugh, rolling his eyes in that familiar, playful way he always does whenever you start talking like that.
You lean in, and your lips meet his without hesitation. The kiss is immediate and familiar, heated but soft at the same time, his hands holding your waist tight as the water rocks gently around you.
masterlist — previous — next
note; how does the pacing feel? i can’t tell if it feels fast or not, lmk if you guys like it!
in four years time, a lot changes: friends get married, friends have children, get new jobs, and fall in love. but for rafe things have stood still after breaking things off his high school sweetheart y/n in the midst of their first semester of college. but when y/n comes back to kildare for the summer, he wonders if he can win her back or will he never be able to escape his past mistakes.
masterlist | part two
author’s note: this wasn’t proofread so have mercy
warnings: swearing, drawings of blood, traumatized reader & son
summary: You and your 6 year old son, Jamie, just moved to Outer Banks, North Carolina looking for a quieter life- at least that’s what you tell everyone. The truth? You’re running. As far and as fast as you can so you try to blend in with the locals, really make this place a true home for your son who barely speaks a word these days. On top of constantly looking over your shoulder and a full time job, the house you moved into is a fixer upper and needs all the work it can get. But when Jamie’s first grade teacher, Mrs. Routledge, holds a career day, things start to change. Jamie becomes obsessed with fire trucks and firemen, specifically a certain fireman whose name is Rafe Cameron. And it just so happens that Mr. Cameron is a jack of all trades and uses every single one to break down your walls.
Notes: happier times are coming i swear! for a short time career day starts in the next part and that will kick off the beginning of our story and rafe will be around a lot more! he’s got his own story to tell 👀
a/n: hi everyone! i've been trying to write this for a bit now, i hope you guys love it. let me know what you think so i know if you want this series to continue xoxo
Summary: In the midst of a breakup, you find a friend in the one person you never expected.
Warnings: swearing
Word Count: 4.1k
series masterlist
my writing
The doorbell sharply ringing through the living room breaks you out of your trance. Zoned out, thinking about him again, missing him. You two have only been apart for two weeks, but John B is still fresh on your mind. He'd broken up with you suddenly, and wasted no time getting together with Sarah Cameron.
The same Sarah Cameron who happened to be standing on your doorstep with the rest of her family, waiting on a member of yours to invite them inside. You take a deep breath and sit up on the couch, watching your dad step up to the door while adjusting his tie.
"Stand up, Y/N," he snaps his fingers at you.
Your mom and brother hurry down the stairs, both looking fresh and presentable. You'd barely been able to pull on a sweater, but nobody fought you on it because you've been in such a mood lately.
Your dad opens the door and welcomes the Camerons, graciously accepting a bottle of wine from Rose and giving her a hug. Ward shakes his hand and then the kids follow, all greeting your dad with smiles, handshakes and hugs.
You tug on the sleeves of your sweater, leaning up against the wall of the foyer and watching them enter. Sarah looks at you, narrowing her eyes when your eyes meet. She's not a fan of you, especially not after you and John B. She'd always seen it as a competition, and she's finally won.
Rafe walks up behind Sarah, sending a glance your way. His eyes flicker down to the floor after a second. You've never been a fan of his, not since you two were kids. Your fathers have worked together since all of you were in diapers, so these dinners are a pretty usual occurrence.
"Y/N, hey!" Wheezie cheers, rushing over to you.
"Hey, Wheezie," you give her your best smile.
"What's up?"
Sarah's eyes meet yours again, this time giving you a devilish smirk. You inhale sharply, then do your best to swallow your emotions.
"Y/N?"
"Sorry, Wheezie," you mumble.
"Wheezie, Y/N," your mother steps in, earning both of your attention, "Time to sit, please."
You sigh and pat Wheezie on the shoulder, then peel yourself off the wall and walk over to the dining room. You take your normal seat, trying to ignore the fact that it's between Rafe and your brother. You all have had the same seats for years, and you've hated it since then. Rafe used to steal your napkin off your lap when you two were ten, and then started flicking your thigh to annoy you when you were fourteen. Now, he barely speaks to you at all.
You fold your hands in your lap, running one thumb nail over the other and playing with the frays of your sleeve. You zone out once more, thinking about what John B might be doing right now and wondering if he's waiting on Sarah to get out of these dinners the way he used to wait on you.
Now, the most exciting thing you'll be doing after dinner is going upstairs. Alone.
"Y/N," Rafe says suddenly, making you snap your head up.
You wonder what he could possibly need, what he could possibly want, when your eyes settle on the casserole dish he's attempting to pass to you.
"Sorry," you mutter, reaching up for the glass dish.
Your fingers brush his, causing him to yank his hands off of it immediately. It takes you by surprise, but you adjust your hold and recover before the dish can fall out of your hands completely. You scoop only a bit onto your plate, then pass the dish onto your brother.
Your fork twirls in your hand, picking at the food aimlessly and shifting it around on your plate. The adults around you surround themselves in business talk, and Wheezie starts chatting with Sarah about her school.
Rafe leans over, only a bit, but keeping his voice low enough that nobody else can hear, "You okay?"
"Fine," you reply, eyes trained on the food on your plate.
He notices how you haven't taken a single bite, how you're wearing a sweater and leggings when you usually wear a dress to these dinners, and how you didn't bother putting a speck of makeup on. His eyes trail down to your plate, watching you move the food around.
"Could've fooled me," he mutters under his breath, sitting up straight again.
"She's probably just a little down," Sarah cuts in, "Single life can be lonely."
You look up at her, clenching your jaw and rolling your eyes before you look down again. Your brother is too busy talking with your father and Ward about business, so he didn't hear. Thank God.
You choose not to speak, letting your best judgment take over. You glance over to Wheezie, who is keeping her head down in her plate to keep from taking sides.
"Wheezie," Sarah says, loud enough that she still wants you listening, "Eat up. We've got to go, I need to go meet John B. We're going-"
"Shut up, Sarah," Rafe glares at his sister.
You look over at him, watching the way he clenches his jaw and shakes his head slightly at her. Sarah just huffs and rolls her eyes, not bothering to fight her brother. Rafe doesn't look over at you, although he can feel your gaze practically burning a hole in the side of his head.
You take a bite of your food, unable to taste anything but cardboard. Usually, you enjoy your mother's cooking. Lately, nothing's tasted good.
"Sarah," your mother speaks up as she pushes her empty plate away, "I've been telling Y/N about this college night going on at the high school next week. Have you heard about it?"
"Yes, ma'am," Sarah nods, smiling sweetly at your mother.
It makes you want to throw up.
"You two should go together! She needs someone to go with her now that J-"
"Mom," you stop her, ignoring the snicker that comes out of Sarah's mouth before she can help herself.
"I'm sorry, I just thought, maybe-"
"I'm not going to college night."
"Y/N," your mom sighs.
"I'm going. It's gonna be a great night. Y/N, maybe you could tag along with my boyfriend and I."
You know Sarah's invitation is almost as fake as her, but you can't even bother trying to come up with a response before your mom explodes with excitement.
"I didn't know you have a boyfriend! Oh, how exciting!" your mom exclaims.
Sarah smiles widely, causing you to close your eyes to prevent any emotion from showing through. You hadn't bothered to tell your parents that John B moved on so quick, only because you hadn't been physically able to discuss is with anyone.
"Yes, he's great. I think Y/N would like him a lot," Sarah continues.
"Oh, I'm sure she would. What's he like?"
You laugh sarcastically, now well aware that you're not even close to ready for this dinner. You stand abruptly, scaring both Rafe and your brother as your chair scapes against the wood floor.
"I'm gonna clear the table," you declare, looking over to Rafe, "You finished? Good."
You pick up his plate before getting a response, then grab your brother's and your own and make your way into the kitchen. You hear Sarah erupt into a story about her oh-so perfect boyfriend, which makes you feel like there's a weight sitting on your chest.
You slam the plates down in the sink, gripping the edge of the sink so hard that your knuckles turn white.
Sarah Cameron with your ex-boyfriend. The guy you trusted, dated for six months, the guy that took your virginity without a second thought. And now, he's picking her up from dinners at your house like the last six months meant nothing to him.
"You know, you actually have to turn the water on to wash the dishes."
You release the counter and spin around, finding Rafe standing in the doorway with a stack of plates in his hand. He smiles smugly at you, stepping over beside you and flipping on the water before you can even think about it. You don't speak, just shift over so he has more room.
"My sister's a bitch," he continues, "Always has been. I'm sure you've figured that out by now, though."
You just nod your head, watching as he scrapes a plate into the garbage and then picks up the sponge from the sink to start scrubbing.
"My mother would quite literally kill me right now. Guests aren't supposed to do dishes," you tell him.
He laughs to himself, "I've been coming to this house since I was born. I don't think I'm considered a guest anymore."
"Still," you mumble out, shifting toward him so he moves over.
You reach down and take the plate from his hand, and he silently hands over the sponge, too. You start scrubbing, using the act to get your aggression out. Rafe dries his hands off and you assume he'll leave, but he doesn't.
"I get the parents thing, though. Your mom pressuring you to go to that college thing, I mean. Sometimes, it feels like they only see us as our accomplishments."
You glance up at him, watching the way he's staring down at his palms, trying to do anything but look at you.
"Yeah, it does."
Silence falls over the kitchen, so you hand him the plate you had finished cleaning to dry. He gladly accepts, picking up the dish towel he had dried his hands with.
"Why are you being nice to me today?" you ask, eyes down in the sink.
You hear him snicker, "Figured you really don't need anyone else piling it on. Don't worry, though. Next week, it's on."
You laugh, which makes Rafe laugh. He finishes drying off his plate and carries it directly to the cabinet it belongs in. Of course he knows exactly where it goes.
"What did you mean?" you blurt, "When you said that you understand the parents thing?"
He sighs, holding his hand out for the next plate. You hand it to him, watching how he pulls his fingers back when yours get close. It reminds you of how he'd pulled away from you so fast at the dinner table.
"Just shit with my dad," he mumbles.
"Is he still running you ragged at work?"
Rafe laughs again, making you feel like the funniest person in the world. He takes his time drying off this plate.
"He fired me."
You can't help but drop the plate you're washing back down into the sink, wincing at the crashing noise. Rafe snickers when you bring wide eyes up to meet his, trying to determine if he's serious.
"Rafe, what-"
"It's not a big deal."
He strides over to the cabinet once again to tuck another plate away. You open your mouth to speak, but your mother rushes into the kitchen, stopping you.
"What was that noise?" she asks, staring at you.
"Sorry," you shrug, "I just dropped a plate."
"Rafe, sweetheart, sit down. Y/N can handle the dishes on her own. She shouldn't have asked you to help, that was rude."
She glares at you, attempting to guide Rafe back into the dining room.
"She didn't-"
"Y/N, bring in the dessert when you're finished. And some new plates. Rafe, come in. I want to hear about your job!"
Rafe grimaces, taking his sweet time closing the cabinet door. When your mom hurries back in to the dining room, he steps back over to you.
"Look's like your mom's having a two-for-one night, huh?" he laughs.
You give him a tight smile. He sets the dish towel back down on the counter and takes one step closer to you, eyes trailing from your tired ones down to your hands emerged in dirty dish water.
"John B's an asshole, you know," he says, voice low, "And Sarah's only with him to rebel against my dad. It won't last."
"It doesn't matter," you reply, keeping your gaze down.
"Maybe not," he agrees with a shrug, "But at least you know you won't have to attend a Routledge-Cameron wedding."
He snickers at his own joke, then pushes himself off the counter once he sees the corners of your mouth push up into a smile. You listen to his footsteps retreat back into the dining room, and then your mother explode with excitement. You laugh dryly when you hear her ask about his job, and listen to his response when he tells her, 'it's certainly something'.
The next day, you get up and get ready for work without thinking twice. You know if you sit down, or think about not going, that you'll wind up laying back in bed and call out. You worry if you call out again, you'll no longer have a job.
You show up to the club, finding Topper standing at the computer, inputting orders. He smiles when he sees you, rushing over to catch up with you while you go to clock in.
"Morning," he greets, "How'd dinner go last night?"
"Sarah's a bitch," you reply.
You and Topper had formed an unlikely friendship when he started working here. You'd been surprised, given you'd always pegged him to be a rich, preppy douche bag. He's friends with Rafe, after all. But you'd changed your mind quickly when Topper snuck you a mai tai from the bar and poured it into a disposable coffee cup, just to help make your shift more enjoyable. Now, he's your main confidant.
"Yeah, you're telling me," he scoffs, remembering how miserable he had been when she cheated on him.
"She really sat there, in front of my mother, and flaunted it in my face," you continue.
You type in your clock in number, then shove your bag into your locker. Topper leans up against the one beside you, watching your expression change from angry to sad.
"What is it?" he questions the look on your face.
You peel off an old picture of you and John B that you'd stuck to the door of your locker months ago. You stare at it for a moment, then flip it over for Topper to see.
"Guess I won't be needing this anymore," you say quietly.
Topper takes it out of your hand, only glancing at it for a second before he slides it in his pocket.
"Give it until the end of the day. We can burn it, toss it, or you can put it in a box with the rest of his shit."
You just nod, slamming your locker closed. You take a deep breath and attempt to change the subject, but your manager peaks his head around the corner.
"My two best servers, hiding out in the locker room? Really? Get out there."
Topper smiles to you, then pulls himself off the lockers and leads you out of the back room. You walk out onto the deck, observing your section for the first time. Not too busy, but busy enough that you know you won't be able to leave early.
The day goes by quickly, and before you know it, you and Topper are floating into the dinner rush. You're busier now, running around, filling drinks, taking orders, running food. You barely notice the two sit down until you approach the table.
Your heart catches in your throat when you see him. She's got him dressed up. He's wearing a dress shirt and khaki shorts - you'd never seen him in anything other than basketball shorts and would only put on a shirt when he absolutely had to. You know this isn't him; that he can't possibly be comfortable like this.
"Oh, hey, Y/N," Sarah smiles at you, fixing her hair and then adjusting the top of her dress.
You fumble with your pen, mouth parted as you try and figure out what to say. He looks back at you, his eyes sympathetic but his expression not.
"What can I get for you?" you finally ask, your voice low and unsteady. Sarah's enjoying the hell out of this, and if you weren't so anxious, you swear you could hit her.
"I'll have a mai tai, what about you, John B?"
"I can't serve you alcohol, Sarah," you say, sighing.
"Why? Because you're underage?"
"No, because you are."
"Not according to this," she smiles, pulling out an ID and handing it to you.
It's clearly fake, but you don't care. You only glance at the date before handing it back to her, giving in to her and accepting defeat. She smiles smugly at you, then looks to John B again.
He looks from Sarah to you, anxious expression evident.
"Water," he finally says.
You barely nod and then walk away, dead set on finding Topper. He's already watching you from the bar, eyebrow raised and ready to jump into action if you need him. You nod inside, watching him return your nod and step in.
"What did she say?" he asks when you're close enough, resting his hand on your elbow.
"She has a fake ID, Top," you huff, stepping to the inside bar to place your order.
"So does Rafe, that's not surprising," he shrugs.
You roll your eyes, "I can't believe they got seated in my fucking section."
"I know, she might want to tread lightly or else you might spit in her food."
You laugh, telling him you might have to do that. He waits with you until Sarah's mai tai is ready, then promises to keep an eye on you and you guys will catch up after your shifts.
You bring Sarah's mai tai and John B's water back outside, setting them both down on the table without a word. Sarah can't wipe the smug look off her face, but you keep your eyes away from hers.
"Saw you talking to Topper in there," she smirks, "Apparently we're into the same guys."
You bite down on your tongue, trying to hold back any of the remarks currently floating through your head. Of course she would think you're going after her ex now that she has yours.
"What to eat?"
"Hm, John B, do you feel like we're getting good service? I'm used to more... attentive servers when I have dinner at the Club."
Your glance moves to John B, just waiting on him to pile it on. He looks downright uncomfortable now, like he has genuinely no idea what to say.
"Sarah," he looks to her, begging her silently to knock it off.
Sarah just shrugs innocently, pretending like she has no idea what he's referring to. You sigh audibly, telling both of them you just want to take their orders and walk away.
"I'll just take a burger," John B tells you, keeping his eyes on the table.
You nod, scribbling it down, "Medium well, with fries and ketchup."
You recite his usual order before you can even realize it, then glance up at him quickly to see if he noticed. He's frozen, staring at Sarah as if he's waiting for a bomb to go off.
"Hm, still pining after him, Y/N?" Sarah asks, although you can tell by the way her jaw is set that you've pissed her off.
You're growing more frustrated by the second, not believing you only get paid ten dollars an hour for this bullshit. You can't stand the bitchy look on her face or the way she keeps brushing the pads of her fingers over John B's knuckles as a way of signaling he's hers and only hers.
"What to eat, Sarah?" you repeat your question, finally having the courage to meet her gaze.
"Well, I'll have a burger also, and when I'm done, I'll leave what's left here for you. Maybe you can eat them with Topper, since you're such a big fan of my leftovers."
You scoff and slam your pad and pen down on the table before you can even help it, shaking your head and setting your hands on your hips.
"Sarah-"
"Ah, don't forget, Y/N. Service with a smile," she grins, knowing she's pushing all the right buttons.
You do your best to contain your rage, but when you look to your ex-boyfriend, who is remaining dead silent, you snap. You glance behind you, meeting eyes with Topper and shaking your head. You shake your head at him, watching as he starts over to you. He knows exactly what you're saying without saying it. You need him to take over your tables.
"Fuck you, John B," you mutter to him, watching his eyes fall to his lap before you walk away from them completely.
"Aw, did I hurt her feelings?" you hear Sarah say.
"Sit down, Sarah," Topper says the second he reaches their table.
You find your manager and tell him you're taking your break instead of asking him. He can tell you're frazzled, so he just nods his head. You grab your bag from your locker and make your way toward the front of the club, ready to sit in your car and cry for half an hour.
You shove the door of the Club open, too focused on your own suffering to notice that you almost run into Rafe. He sidesteps at the last second, wide eyed as he takes you in.
"Whoa, got a hot date?"
You sniffle before you look up at him, earning his complete and utter attention. Your eyes are full of water, but you don't dare let a tear fall. Not in front of him.
"Hey," he says, stepping toward you and speaking more gently, "What's wrong?"
You shake your head, stepping back from him when he takes another step toward you. He reaches his arm up, and you take another step back.
"Stop," you snap, "Stop being nice to me. It's not right."
"It's not right that I'm not being an asshole?" he scoffs.
"Kinda!" you raise your voice.
A tear finally falls from your eye, but you brush it away quickly. Not before Rafe sees. He stares at you as if he's trying to figure out what the best thing to do is.
"Fine," he finally says, "Why don't you just... go, then."
You suck in a sharp breath of air and nod, adjusting the strap of your bag on your shoulder.
"Don't sit in my section if you're going to eat," you say to him, "Your sister's already made my life tough enough."
"Sarah's in there?" Rafe questions you, putting two and two together as to why you're so upset.
"Yeah, but don't worry. She's with John B."
"Y/N, I'm-"
"Don't," you stop him, "Just go inside, Rafe. I'll see you at dinner next week."
You step away from him before he can protest or try to speak again, rushing away and letting tears flow now. Once you get in your car, you sob. You sob over Sarah's words, over the way John B had looked at you, over the way he hadn't stood up for you when you needed him to. Because he isn't yours, anymore. He's Sarah's.
You can't believe you've lost him, that you finally had him, held him, kissed him, and now he's with her. Being had and held and kissed by her. And, somehow, you're just supposed to suck that up and move on.
When Topper knocks on your window, you're not surprised. He climbs into the passenger seat and embraces you before either of you can even think twice. You calm down quickly once he's with you, telling you to calm down.
When he leads you back inside, he protectively leads you back out to the deck. You see Rafe sitting with Kelce in Topper's section, and much to your dismay, he's already watching you two.
"Sarah's gone," Topper informs you.
You sniffle and nod, not bothering to ask how she left so quickly when she seemed so intent on playing games with you. Topper reaches up and wipes a little smeared mascara from underneath your left eye.
"I'm fine," you tell him.
He nods, "You look it, too."
"Ha ha."
You inhale, busying yourself with the frays on your sweater as you glance around the deck one more time. She really is gone and so is John B, thankfully. Topper notes you looking around, smirking when you look back to him.
"Rafe kicked them out."
He pats you on the arm, watching your jaw fall open slightly. He walks away before you can speak again, leaving you to your thoughts. When you spin around and look at Rafe again, he's already watching you.
He beads his blue eyes into yours for one second, then licks his lips and looks away. He stirs the ice in his drink around and then looks up to focus on Kelce.
You don't look at him again for your entire shift, but as you walk around, you can feel his eyes on you.
And you wonder what could've possibly changed between you and Rafe Cameron in just one night, enough that he's standing up for you in ways John B never did.
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