BLUE

[bittersweetlyblue]

   BLUE — she/her , 18 , asian , enfp , cancer , requests & ask box open !

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© BITTERSWEETLYBLUE 2026, all rights reserved , reblogs & comments are always appreciated.

[bittersweetlyblue]

i just was listening to the song ‘snap out of it’ by the artic monkeys and it made me think of an idea!

rafe and reader are childhood friends and she ends up in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t treat her good and rafe is trying to make her realise that he can treat her better.

obviously you’ll know how to execute this better lol sorry my explaining sucks but i just thought the song was so rafe coded!

love your work queen and hope ur doing good!

lovelovelove this!! thank you for the suggestion anon, and im so sorry ive replied to this late!

[bittersweetlyblue]

soft!reader x softer!rafe

AN: can you tell these two are my favourite au ?? anyways this is a little repeated from my other post but hope you enjoy !!

soft!reader who never quite understands why everyone is so intimidated by rafe. they'll lower their voices when he walks into a room. they'll whisper, "that's rafe cameron. and you'll just smile, wave enthusiastically and ask him if he remembered to eat lunch. meanwhile rafe — who has made grown men nervous with one look — just quietly answers, "yeah." somehow you are the only person who can reduce him to a shy nod.

softer!rafe who always notices the tiny things about you before anyone else. when you're cold, he already has his hoodie halfway off before you even mention it. when you're overwhelmed at parties, he's suddenly beside you asking if you want to "get some air." when you haven't spoken much all day, he'll quietly reach over and hook his pinky around yours beneath the table. no words.

soft!reader who has a habit of collecting little things. pretty shells. pressed flowers. oddly shaped rocks. receipts from your favorite dates because "they're memories."

rafe absolutely pretends to think it's ridiculous. "baby... that's literally just a rock."

"it's heart-shaped."

"oh." then six months later you find him standing on the beach staring very seriously at the ground. "what're you doing?"

"lookin' for another heart-shaped one."

softer!rafe who melts every single time you play with his hands. you don't even realize you do it. if you're sitting together, you'll absentmindedly trace the lines across his palms, compare your fingers to his. fiddle with his rings. count the tiny scars over his knuckles.

meanwhile rafe is trying very hard to pay attention to whatever topper is saying. impossible. you're holding his hand like it's the most fascinating thing in the world.

softer!rafe who becomes embarrassingly affectionate in private. not in public. he'll hold your hand, wrap an arm around your waist, maybe kiss your forehead. that's it but the second you're home... he's following you around like a lost puppy. leaning against your shoulder while you cook. hugging you from behind while you're brushing your teeth. resting his head in your lap because "don't move."

soft!reader who instinctively fixes his hair whenever it falls into his eyes. you'll stop mid-conversation, gently brush it back. smile. "there."

and rafe completely forgets what he was saying. every. single. time.

softer!rafe who secretly loves grocery shopping with you. not because of the shopping because of you. you read every ingredient label. get excited over seasonal desserts. insist on buying flowers "just because." ask him whether smiling potatoes look happier than normal potatoes and somehow he ends up spending an extra hour in the store every time. not because you're slow but because he likes listening to you.

soft!reader who gets excited over the tiniest achievements. "look!" holding up cookies that didn't burn. "i kept my plant alive for three months!" "i folded all the laundry!"

rafe celebrates every single one like you've just won an olympic medal. "atta girl." forehead kiss. "knew you could." he never wants you to feel silly for being proud of yourself.

softer!rafe who always reaches for you in his sleep even if you fall asleep on opposite sides of the bed. somehow by morning... you're tucked beneath his chin, one arm around your waist, legs tangled together. he has absolutely no memory of moving but if you try slipping out of bed first? still asleep he'll mumble, "five more minutes." and tighten his hold.

softer!rafe who never laughs when you cry over "small" things. a bad day at work. dropping your ice cream. accidentally killing your favorite plant. a stray dog you couldn't take home. he'll never tell you you're overreacting. he just opens his arms. "c'mere."

lets you cry into his hoodie, strokes your hair. if he can fix the problem, he quietly does. if he can't... he just stays. sometimes that's enough.

© BITTERSWEETLYBLUE 2026. do not copy, translate, edit my work then claim it as your own, attempt to plagarise or repost it on any other website nor feed into AI. you will be blocked.

taglist: @heathandrewstarkey , @corallandtragedy3 , @awrad2 , @filthyrafe , @bonjourjiminie , @dopepeacedestiny , @unicornyogakween , @eerilyjaggedconstruct , @heartsforvenus , @skkeletonns , @bonni-98 , @ljh22 , @shmd-nora , @harrrrystylesslut , @angel06babysworld , @rosiecherie , @loveislikeathunder , @shewants7 , @ssugartalkin , @kurtcobaintbh , @ana09hb , @be0m9yu, @octoberbxby , @joelmillrenthusiast , @drewsbby , @sex-the1975 , @rafesbunnygirl , @yogurts-things , @justacloverrr , @mar7vamp , @miaisboredd , @selfcontollover07 , @russianscream , @maddiefuckingperez , @mimimeowxzs , @77uchiha77 , @iamtheraine , @applespider0 , @wildflowerwildfire1201 , @drewstarkeyswife-7 , @faye7winter , @crystallinene , @bronsonmeydiluver , @notvickyyy ,@rcamerons , @ninavie , @kravitzwhore , @pinkdaydreamsblog , @writteninpinkpen , @songkangslvr , @loveforbucky , @saintlaurentcowboyyy , @justleftdaliquorsto , @kksturns , @lissaexe , @pinkitty97 , @houseofcupids , @mattyskies , @cuddleyhorror , @cooper8224 , @isastarset , @iyannaunicorn , @yohatsmyname , @my-therapist-hates-me , @writteninpinkpen , @songkangslvr , @itztimeeee

[bittersweetlyblue]

rafe works of mine

simon ghost riley works

toji fushiguro

clark kent

[bittersweetlyblue]

you meet rafe in charleston at a dingy little beach bar nobody you know would ever go to. you was making casual conversation with the waitress when he came over, introducing himself as "rafe".

nothing further. the name rings a bell, but you don't know from where. it barely matters, anyways. you two are already making out before it can become anything further.

you date for months. he drives to see you every weekend, sometimes further depending on his mood (which you don't know what affects it). sometimes in the middle of the night "just because he wanted to".

you assume he's from money. he's never explicility said it himself, but you can pretty much guess from the watch, the truck, even his face. the way he doesn't even make it a big deal for paying on every single date you guys go on and instead just automatically swiping his card.

he also never talks about his family. every time you ask, the subject changes so naturally you don't even realise he's done it until later.

"so what does your dad do?"

you swear he freezes but within seconds rafe answers, "business."

"what kind?"

he smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "the boring kind."

"do you have siblings?"

"yeah, two sisters. both younger."

"what they're like?"

"better than me."

he kisses you before you can even ask anything else.

there are odd things about him, but not big enough that you make a deal about it. just that he never lets you visit his hometown, claiming "there's nothing there." never posts you, never lets you tag him, no matter how cute the photo is. you don't question it, under the assumption that he's just a mysterious person.

"police searching for you?" you tease one time, slipping you phone into your back pocket.

he laughs, kissing your forehead, "something like that."

one rainy afternoon he's curled up with you on your couch. he's asleep, face relaxed in sleep, and his wallet slips from his jeans when he shifts.

you aren't snooping; out of reflex and respect, you put it on the coffee table, but his driver's license slips halfway out. you catch it before it falls, eyes skimming automatically.

rafe cameron.

cameron. your stomach drops. that's why his name was so familair the first time you met: you've heard his name before. everyone has. through headlines, whispers, stories online. the wealthy family from the outer banks, with the scandals and violence that follows.

"cameron."

he wakes to the sound of his own name. not "rafe".

"how long?" you ask, voice cracking. you can't even look at him, "how long until you were gonna tell me?"

"i don't know."

you look at him then, glaring through watery eyes, "you don't know?"

"i wanted you to know me first."

"well i fell in love with you instead, how about that?"

"i know. i -"

"when was you going to tell me?"

"when i wasn't just rafe cameron anymore."

© BITTERSWEETLYBLUE 2026. do not copy, translate, edit my work then claim it as your own, attempt to plagarise or repost it on any other website nor feed into AI. you will be blocked.

taglist: @heathandrewstarkey , @corallandtragedy3 , @awrad2 , @filthyrafe , @bonjourjiminie , @dopepeacedestiny , @unicornyogakween , @eerilyjaggedconstruct , @heartsforvenus , @skkeletonns , @bonni-98 , @ljh22 , @shmd-nora , @harrrrystylesslut , @angel06babysworld , @rosiecherie , @loveislikeathunder , @shewants7 , @ssugartalkin , @kurtcobaintbh , @ana09hb , @be0m9yu, @octoberbxby , @joelmillrenthusiast , @drewsbby , @sex-the1975 , @rafesbunnygirl , @yogurts-things , @justacloverrr , @mar7vamp , @miaisboredd , @selfcontollover07 , @russianscream , @maddiefuckingperez , @mimimeowxzs , @77uchiha77 , @iamtheraine , @applespider0 , @wildflowerwildfire1201 , @drewstarkeyswife-7 , @faye7winter , @crystallinene , @bronsonmeydiluver , @notvickyyy ,@rcamerons , @ninavie , @kravitzwhore , @pinkdaydreamsblog , @writteninpinkpen , @songkangslvr , @loveforbucky , @saintlaurentcowboyyy , @justleftdaliquorsto , @kksturns , @lissaexe , @pinkitty97 , @houseofcupids , @cooper8224 , @isastarset , @iyannaunicorn , @yohatsmyname , @my-therapist-hates-me , @writteninpinkpen , @songkangslvr , @itztimeeee reblogs and comments are very much appreictaed!

[bittersweetlyblue]

soft!reader x softer!military!rafe

soft!reader who has absolutely no business falling in love with someone like rafe cameron. you're gentle in every sense of the word. you wave at strangers. you cry when animals get hurt in movies. you apologize to furniture when you accidentally bump into it.

then there's rafe. broad shoulders. military haircut. calloused hands. a permanent crease between his brows that makes him look angry even when he isn't.

people cross the street when they see him. little kids hide behind their parents. meanwhile you're reaching up to brush a leaf out of his hair because "you've got something right there." and rafe just stands there, letting you. he'd let you do just about anything.

military!rafe who is so impossibly careful with you. everyone assumes he'll be rough by nature and somehow they couldn't be more wrong.

the man who's trained to kick down doors and carry seventy pounds of gear across miles of unforgiving terrain treats you like you're made of spun glass.

every touch comes with a silent, "is this okay?" one hand resting on your waist to guide you through crowds. fingertips brushing your cheek before every kiss. always slowing himself down because he never wants you to feel rushed. never wants you to feel scared.

soft!reader who sends him the sweetest care packages while he's deployed. homemade cookies that arrive slightly crushed because shipping never goes the way you hope. handwritten letters covered in tiny doodles around the edges. polaroids of your everyday life: the flowers blooming outside your apartment, the coffee shop you both love, your dog wearing the hoodie he accidentally left behind.

you think they're silly. rafe thinks they're the greatest things he's ever received. he keeps every single letter folded neatly inside his duffel bag & rereads them on the nights when home feels impossibly far away.

military!rafe who never tells anyone how much he misses you. his buddies know, though. every time mail gets handed out, rafe suddenly disappears somewhere quiet with another envelope covered in your handwriting and when he comes back, he's smiling. not the cocky grin everyone knows but the smile with something reserved entirely for you.

soft!reader who worries about him constantly but never wants to make him feel guilty for leaving. so instead of saying, "i'm scared," you ask things like,

"are you sleeping enough?" "did you remember your jacket?" "have you eaten today?"

and rafe always smiles because that's just you. always taking care of everyone else first, even when your own heart is breaking.

military!rafe who comes home after months away and almost forgets how small you are until you're standing in front of him, looking up with watery eyes and smiling so brightly it nearly knocks the breath out of him. "hi." that's all you manage before your lip starts wobbling.

rafe immediately opens his arms. "c'mere, sweetheart."

you don't even hesitate. you practically melt into him. for the first minute neither of you says anything. words could never compete with finally being able to hold each other again.

soft!reader who absentmindedly plays with his dog tags whenever you're cuddling. turning them over between your fingers, tracing the engraved letters. never saying anything, just needing something to keep your hands busy. rafe notices every single time. eventually he starts unclasping them himself and placing them in your hand before settling back against the couch.

he knows they'll end up there anyway.

—

military!rafe who absolutely adores how trusting you are. not naive. just kind. you still believe people deserve second chances. you still stop to help strangers. you still think the world is mostly good. after everything he's seen, he can't understand how your heart has stayed so gentle. and selfishly he hopes it never changes.

military!rafe who is fiercely protective of that softness. if someone raises their voice at you, he's beside you before you've even processed what's happening. if you get overwhelmed in crowded places, his hand quietly slips into yours. if you're nervous meeting his military friends, he keeps a reassuring hand on the small of your back the entire evening.

not because he thinks you're incapable. the world has been hard on him and he'll be damned if he lets it be hard on you too.

soft!reader who always asks him to tell you about his day. not the classified parts, the ones you'll know bring that look back into his eye, the one that ever rarely comes out whenever the two of you are together..

just the little things. who made terrible coffee, who lost a bet. what the sunset looked like. you know some memories are too heavy to share but you still want to know about his life. you still want him to feel like he can bring pieces of it home to you.

military!rafe who never tells you when he's had a particularly bad day overseas but somehow you always know. the phone rings later than usual, his voice is quieter. he lets you ramble about absolutely nothing: what you bought at the grocery store, how your neighbor's cat keeps visiting. the flowers you planted.

he barely says a word, just listens. your voice reminds him that somewhere beyond all the noise, there's still a life waiting for him. there's still you.

military!rafe who comes home harder every deployment. a little quieter, a little more tired. carrying things he doesn't know how to put down but every single time, you greet him exactly the same: with a smile so full of love it almost hurts, with your arms already reaching for him, with that same gentle, "welcome home."

and every single time he thinks the same thing. if there's one truly good thing he's ever done in his life... it's somehow convincing someone as soft as you to love someone like him.

© BITTERSWEETLYBLUE. do not copy, translate, edit my work then claim it as your own, attempt to plagarise or repost it on any other website nor feed into AI. you will be blocked.

AN: birthday gift from me guys <3

taglist: @heathandrewstarkey , @corallandtragedy3 , @awrad2 , @filthyrafe , @bonjourjiminie , @dopepeacedestiny , @unicornyogakween , @eerilyjaggedconstruct , @heartsforvenus , @skkeletonns , @bonni-98 , @ljh22 , @shmd-nora , @harrrrystylesslut , @angel06babysworld , @rosiecherie , @loveislikeathunder , @shewants7 , @ssugartalkin , @kurtcobaintbh , @ana09hb , @be0m9yu, @octoberbxby , @joelmillrenthusiast , @drewsbby , @sex-the1975 , @rafesbunnygirl , @yogurts-things , @justacloverrr , @mar7vamp , @miaisboredd , @selfcontollover07 , @russianscream , @maddiefuckingperez , @mimimeowxzs , @77uchiha77 , @iamtheraine , @applespider0 , @wildflowerwildfire1201 , @drewstarkeyswife-7 , @faye7winter , @crystallinene , @bronsonmeydiluver , @notvickyyy ,@rcamerons , @ninavie , @kravitzwhore , @pinkdaydreamsblog , @212-apricity , @saintlaurentcowboyyy , @justleftdaliquorsto , @kksturns , @lissaexe , @pinkitty97 , @houseofcupids , @cooper8224

[bittersweetlyblue]

the first time you meet toji fushiguro, you think he's asleep.

he's stretched across a bench outside a convenience store, one arm thrown over his eyes, dressed in a worn black hoodie despite the warmth of the afternoon. there's a duffel bag tucked beneath the bench, the zipper half-broken, and a pair of scuffed boots resting neatly underneath him like he's worried someone might steal them.

you almost keep walking. then his stomach growls, loud enough that you hear it from several feet away. you stop & he doesn't move. for a second you wonder if pretending to sleep is less embarrassing than admitting he's hungry.

your chest tightens. you quietly step into the convenience store instead.

when you come back outside, you're balancing two warm paper bags and a drink carrier. you crouch beside the bench. "um..." nothing. "...excuse me?"

one green eye slowly opens. toji looks at you like you've interrupted the best nap of his life. "yeah?"

you awkwardly hold out one of the bags. "i, um... bought too much."

he stares at it. "didn't ask."

you nod quickly. "i know. but i thought maybe you were hungry."

another long silence. he's waiting, probably for you to ask for money. or your phone number. or for you to tell him there's a camera hidden somewhere filming his reaction.

instead you just smile a little. "it's okay if you don't want it." you gently place the bag on the bench beside him. "have a nice day."

and before he can answer you walk away.

toji waits until you're halfway down the street before opening the bag. inside is still-warm katsu curry, a bottle of water & a chocolate bar with a little sticky note folded in half.

please don't skip dinner.

that's it. no number. no name. nothing. he stares at the note for a long time. "weird." then quietly eats every bite.

he expects never to see you again. instead, three days later... you're back. same convenience store. same shy smile. same ridiculous amount of groceries in your arms. you stop when you notice him sitting on the curb. "oh." your face brightens. "hi."

toji blinks. "hi"

you hesitate. "did you like the curry?"

he almost lies. almost says it was terrible just to see your reaction. instead: "yeah"

your smile grows impossibly bigger. "good."

"that's it?"

you tilt your head. "what else would i say?"

"most people would've asked for somethin'."

"like what?"

"money."

you laugh. "i already spent my money on the curry."

he stares. you genuinely seem confused by the conversation, like kindness costing something has never occurred to you.

it becomes... a thing. every few days, you'll "accidentally" buy too much. an extra sandwich. an extra coffee. an extra pastry. and every single time, you insist you couldn't possibly finish it alone.

toji stops arguing after the fourth visit. mostly because he's starting to realize arguing makes you sad. he weirdly doesn't like that.

eventually, he learns your routine. every tuesday and thursday after work, always stopping at the same store, always carrying too many reusable shopping bags because you refuse to use plastic ones. always smiling at the old cashier & always waving goodbye. it's sickeningly wholesome.

he hates how much he starts looking forward to it. "you got a name?"

you blink, "yeah."

"you gonna tell me?"

you giggle which completely throws him off. "only if you tell me yours first."

"toji."

you repeat it quietly, like you're testing how it sounds. "toji."

he pretends it doesn't make his heart do something weird. then you tell him your name & he repeats it once. you're not sure if it's the street lamp lihgting, you'd think he was smiling.

the first time it rains while you're talking, you immediately panic. "your bag!"

toji looks over. "what about it?"

"it's getting wet!"

before he can stop you, you're dragging the heavy duffel beneath the shelter with both hands, huffing from the effort because it's apparently filled with bricks.

"there." you beam. "better."

"thanks."

"of course."

weeks turn into months. toji eventually admits he's sleeping in his truck. "that's... slightly better than the bench? do you have blankets?"

"yeah."

"are you lying?"

"maybe."

the next afternoon you show up with two thick blankets. "my closet was getting crowded."

he raises an eyebrow. "really."

"okay, i bought them."

"thought so."

you never pity him. that's what he notices. you don't look at him like he's broken or dangerous, or someone to avoid, you ask him about his day, tell him about the stray cat that's started following you home. complain about your boss. laugh over dumb internet videos.

you talk to him like he's just a person, not dirt under your shoe. it's infuriating. he'd almost forgotten what that felt like.

one evening you find him outside the store again, except this time he's standing. clean clothes, fresh haircut, a little less tired around the eyes.

you notice immediately. "you look different."

he scratches the back of his neck. got a job."

your face lights up so brightly he actually has to look away. "toji!"

before he can react, you've thrown your arms around him. the hug lasts maybe two seconds which then ends when you suddenly realize what you've done. your eyes widen. "oh my gosh—i'm sorry!" you immediately let go, mortified. "i should've asked first—"

"you happy for me?"

you blink. "of course."

he nods once. then quietly says, "do it again."

"...what?"

"the hug."

your cheeks turn pink. "are you sure?"

instead of answering, he opens one arm awkwardly like he hasn't hugged someone in years. maybe he hasn't. you smile, step forward and this time, when you wrap your arms around him, he hugs you back carefully. he closes his eyes for just a second, breathing in the faint scent of laundry detergent and vanilla.

home.

he doesn't know why that's the first word that comes to mind. he just knows that for the first time in a very long time... he isn't thinking about where he's going to sleep. he's thinking about whether you'll be waiting outside the convenience store on thursday.

after that, things change so quietly that neither of you notices at first.

he's still waiting outside the convenience store on tuesdays and thursdays, except now he isn't there because he's hungry.

he's there because you're coming.

you still bring him coffee some mornings, even though he now has enough money to buy his own. you still insist on splitting pastries in half because "they taste better when someone else steals a bite."

toji rolls his eyes every single time.

then steals the bigger half.

he learns the little things about you before he learns the big ones. that you always tear the sleeves off your coffee cups because you fidget when you're nervous. that you hum absentmindedly while reading ingredient labels. that you can't walk past flowers without stopping to smell them, no matter how rushed you are.

you're soft in ways he doesn't think the world deserves. toji has spent most of his life believing kindness always comes with conditions. people are nice because they want something, they expect something. eventually they'll remind you of everything they did for you. but you never do. you never bring up the meals. it's almost unsettling.

one afternoon he finally asks. "why?"

you look up from where you're trying to untangle the strap of your tote bag. "why what?"

"why'd you help me?"

your brows knit together like the answer is obvious. "you looked like you needed it."

"that's it?"

"yeah."

"you didn't even know me."

you smile softly. "i know."

his first paycheck isn't much. after rent on a tiny apartment and replacing clothes that have seen better days, there isn't much left over. still.

the following thursday, he gets to the convenience store before you. he waits outside, hands shoved into his pockets. when you finally appear, smiling the moment you spot him, he awkwardly holds something out.

it's a paper bag. you blink. "what's this?"

"bought too much."

you look at him. "toji."

he shrugs. "couldn't finish it."

you laugh so hard you have to cover your mouth. "you're terrible."

"learned from you."

inside is your favorite sandwich. the strawberry milk you always buy and a chocolate bar. tucked inside is a tiny sticky note with handwriting so bad it takes you several minutes to decipher it.

please don't skip lunch.

your eyes immediately sting. "you kept the note."

"yeah."

"why?"

he looks at you like you've asked the dumbest question imaginable. "'cause you wrote it."

you don't realize you're crying until he sighs. "aw, don't do that."

you sniffle. "i'm not."

"you're literally cryin'."

"happy crying."

"still counts."

you laugh through your tears and, without thinking, throw your arms around him again.

this time he doesn't hesitate.

his arms wrap around your waist almost instantly, pulling you close with a quiet little huff, like this has become the most natural thing in the world.

months later, you're helping him unpack the last box in his apartment. it's tiny. the couch barely fits. the kitchen only has enough room for one person at a time. the bedroom window sticks whenever you try to open it. you think it's perfect. "you've got a home."

toji looks around the room. "yeah."

but he isn't looking at the apartment anymore. he's looking at the girl kneeling on his living room floor, carefully placing cheap mugs into the cupboard like they're priceless antiques.

the girl who fed a stranger because she thought he looked hungry and who bought blankets without making him feel like charity. who never once looked at him with pity, just warmth.

he walks over before he can think too hard about it. "hey."

you glance up. "hm?"

he crouches in front of you, takes your hands. "i got somethin' to ask."

"okay."

he scratches the back of his neck, suddenly looking strangely nervous. "you've been buyin' me food for almost a year."

you giggle. "i have."

"think it's about time i returned the favor."

"toji."

"let me take you to dinner."

you smile. "that's your big question?"

"yeah."

"i thought you were gonna ask me to help build ikea furniture or something."

he snorts. "don't push your luck."

you laugh, squeezing his hands. "i'd love to."

the smile that spreads across his face is small, crooked. so unbelievably boyish that it barely resembles the guarded man sleeping on a park bench all those months ago. you don't think you'll ever get tired of being the reason for it.

years later, whenever someone asks how you met, toji always tells the story wrong. he'll lean back in his chair, completely serious, and say, "she wouldn't stop feeding me."

you'll gasp dramatically. "that's not true!"

"is."

"i offered you one curry!"

"then coffee. then pastries. then blankets."

everyone laughs.

you bury your face in your hands. "i was just trying to help."

toji reaches over, intertwining his fingers with yours beneath the table. his thumb brushes across your knuckles. "i know." his voice is quieter now, only meant for you. "best thing that ever happened to me."

and every single time he says it — he still sounds like he can't quite believe someone as kind as you stopped walking that first afternoon. all you thought you were doing was buying lunch for a stranger.

you never realized you were giving him a reason to believe life could be gentle again. or that one warm paper bag and a little sticky note would eventually lead him home.

© BITTERSWEETLYBLUE 2026

[bittersweetlyblue]

Babesss, i’m in love with your casual!rafe fic! I need part 2😭

thank you so much! i honestly thought it didn’t have much appeal but when i have time to write for it i shall 🫡

[bittersweetlyblue]

the fact that haunting adeline is becoming a movie adaptation is truly disgusting. if you like the book or support the adaptation coming out please do not ever interact with me, thank you.

[bittersweetlyblue]

: ۫ ꣑ৎ CHOOSE ME (SERIES, CHAPTER ONE)

request . everyone thought you'd end up with jj maybank. including you. everyone except rafe cameron — the boy who spent half your childhood trying to get under your skin and the other half quietly falling in love with you. the problem is, by the time he realizes it, you have to choose one.

there were two boys your mother warned you about growing up. "don't let jj maybank convince you to jump off anything taller than you are."

you'd nodded solemnly at six years old. "okay."

"and if rafe cameron starts bothering you, just ignore him."

another nod. "okay."

she smiled, brushing the hair out of your face. "good girl."

looking back now, she'd only been half-right.

the first time jj maybank held your hand, you were five. the first time rafe cameron pushed you into the ocean, you were six. neither event surprised anyone.

"jj!" your tiny voice echoed across the beach as you chased after the blond boy who was already ankle-deep in the water. "wait!"

he turned around, gap-toothed grin stretching across his face. "you're too slow!"

"am not!"

"are too!"

you puffed out your cheeks and ran faster. your sandals filled with sand, dress flapped around your knees. and just as you were about to catch him — a shoulder bumped into yours. hard, one that isn't accidental. you stumbled sideways with an indignant squeak.

"oops."

you looked up. rafe cameron. all sun-bleached hair, scraped knees and the sort of smirk only little boys seemed capable of wearing. he wasn't much taller than you but somehow he carried himself like he owned the entire beach.

"you did that on purpose."

"didn't."

"did."

he shrugged. "prove it."

before you could answer, jj had already doubled back. "leave her alone."

rafe rolled his eyes dramatically. "she can talk."

"she doesn't need to."

"what're you? her bodyguard?"

"yeah."

"that's stupid."

"you're stupid."

"your face is stupid."

you sighed. that became your childhood. jj dragging you toward adventures. rafe appearing just long enough to irritate everyone involved.

when you were eight, your family moved three houses down from tannyhill. your mother cried because she'd always wanted somewhere with a porch. your father complained about property taxes. you discovered your bedroom window faced the camerons' driveway.

which meant, every morning, you saw rafe. he noticed on the second day. you'd been watering the flowers your mom insisted were "your responsibility."

rafe climbed out of ward's truck, spotted you, and immediately shouted, "your watering can's ugly."

you blinked. "okay?"

he looked almost disappointed.

the following morning: "those shoes are ugly."

you looked down at your perfectly normal trainers. "thanks?"

again. that disappointed look. the day after: "your dog's weird."

you looked at your golden retriever, who was currently lying upside down in the grass with his tongue hanging out. "he's asleep."

"he looks weird."

"okay."

"that's all?"

you shrugged. "yeah."

then you went back inside. rafe stood in the driveway for a full minute, completely baffled.

"why do you keep talking to her?" topper asked one afternoon while the two of them rode their bikes around figure eight.

rafe frowned. "i don't."

"you literally yell at her every morning."

"it's funny."

"is it?"

"...shut up."

it became something of a routine. every morning some pointless comment. every morning you answered like he was discussing the weather. and every morning he somehow looked more irritated than the last.

ward noticed first. "son."

rafe looked up from his cereal. "hm?"

"do you actually dislike the girl next door?"

"who?"

"the one you've spoken about every morning for the past two weeks."

rafe nearly dropped his spoon. "i don't talk about her."

ward smiled into his newspaper. "of course."

you, meanwhile, barely thought about him. to you rafe cameron was simply... there, like the mailbox at the end of the street or the old oak tree everyone climbed. or the neighbour's ridiculously loud lawn mower.

an unavoidable part of life. slightly annoying but mostly harmless.

by eleven, you and jj had become inseparable. the whole island knew it. if someone saw jj, they usually asked where you were. if someone saw you, they asked where jj had run off to.

it just... made sense. he was sunshine.

"c'mon!" jj stood at the end of the dock, bouncing excitedly. "jump!"

you peered over the edge. "that's high."

"that's the point."

"i think i'm gonna die."

"nah."

"how do you know?"

"'cause i'll jump with you."

you smiled. "promise?"

he held out his pinky. "promise."

without hesitation, you linked yours with his. from the beach rafe watched. he wasn't sure why. he'd only come to pick up kelce. except kelce had wandered off somewhere.

and now... he couldn't stop looking at the dock. at the way you smiled at jj. at how easily you trusted him. at the stupid pinky promise.

"you jumping or not?" kelce finally appeared beside him. rafe looked away. "...nah."

the older you got, the more obvious the differences became. jj collected bruises. rafe collected expectations. you collected books.

summer afternoons found you curled beneath the old tree in your garden, paperback balanced on your knees.

it was your favourite spot. quiet, shaded, hidden from the road.

"reading again?"

you didn't even look up. "yep."

rafe leaned against the fence separating your gardens. "that's boring."

"okay."

"don't you ever do anything fun?"

"i am."

"reading isn't fun."

"to you."

he frowned. "what's that supposed to mean?"

you finally glanced over the top of your book. "it means i'm having fun."

"oh."

you smiled politely then went back to reading. he stayed there. for another five minutes, doing absolutely nothing before awkwardly walking away.

"did he bother you again?" your mother asked over dinner.

"sort of."

she sighed. "i'll speak to his parents."

"don't."

"why not?"

you shrugged. "he's not mean."

"he pushes your buttons."

"he tries."

your dad looked up. "tries?"

"he gets annoyed when i don't get annoyed."

your parents exchanged amused looks. you didn't notice.

middle school changed everything. suddenly people cared about brands, popularity, who was a kook & who was a pogue. who belonged where. you hated it. jj hated it more. rafe... leaned into it or maybe it leaned into him. it became harder to tell.

freshman year. first day. you were wrestling with a jammed locker when someone reached over your shoulder. click. the door swung open.

"thanks."

you looked up automatically. "...oh."

rafe. he shrugged. "you looked stuck."

"i was."

"...well." he scratched the back of his neck. "see you."

you watched him leave. weird. "did rafe cameron just help you?" your friend asked from beside you, kie.

"i think so."

"that's..."

"weird?"

"yeah." you nodded. "really weird."

neither of you noticed rafe glancing back down the hallway. just once before disappearing around the corner.

the summer you turned fifteen, the island felt too small.

everyone knew everyone. everyone knew everyone's parents. everyone knew who got grounded, who got caught drinking behind the country club, whose parents were divorcing, whose brother got arrested.

and everyone assumed you'll end up with jj. by then, you'd known eachother forever. he's easy to love, easy to laugh with, and he makes you forget every bad thing that's ever happened. rafe cameron, meanwhile, has spent years pretending he can't stand you.

there were no secrets on the outer banks. just rumours that happened to be true.

you'd spent almost every summer of your life at the beach. not because it was some grand tradition. the ocean was free and none of you had much money worth spending anyway. except the camerons.

"heads up!" something cold smacked into the back of your shoulder. you yelped, turned around to a half-melted ice pop slid dramatically into the sand. "really?"

jj looked entirely unapologetic. "you caught it."

"with my back."

"still counts."

you picked up the sticky remains before throwing them straight back at him. he shrieked, actually shrieked.

"dude!"

"what?"

"that was rude!"

"you started it!"

he tackled you anyway. you both landed in the sand laughing so hard neither of you noticed the group walking toward the beach house until they were almost beside you.

topper. kelce. some girls from figure eight. and: rafe.

jj finally rolled off you, still laughing. "you're evil."

"i learned from the best."

"you absolutely did."

he reached over without thinking and brushed sand out of your hair. a completely normal gesture. something he'd done a hundred times. something you barely even noticed.

rafe did.

he stopped walking, only for half a second, but long enough for topper to notice. "you coming?"

"yeah." his voice sounded strange. he looked away before you could catch his eye. to be fair, you wouldn't;ve said anything, but still. rude.

"what's his problem?" jj muttered.

you looked over your shoulder. "who?"

"rafe."

"does he have one?"

"he looked like he wanted to kill me."

you laughed. "he always looks like that."

except not really. he looked almost wistful. but you forgot about it ten minutes later when jj stole for you the biggest chocolate ice cream you ever had.

rafe didn't.

"what are you staring at?" topper nudged his shoulder.

rafe blinked. "nothing."

"you've been watching them for like five minutes."

"haven't."

"have."

topper followed his gaze toward the shoreline. jj was teaching you how to skim stones. or... trying to. every throw you made sank immediately.

jj laughed so hard he nearly dropped to his knees. you shoved him into the water & he dragged you in with him. more laughter.

topper frowned. "you jealous?"

rafe looked at him like he'd grown another head. "of maybank?"

"i don't know."

"don't be stupid."

he walked away before topper could say anything else.

that night you found yourself sitting on the roof outside your bedroom window. it had become your favourite place over the years.

your dad hated it. your mum pretended not to know. you liked the quiet, the breeze, being able to look over the neighbourhood without anyone expecting anything from you. "careful."

you looked down. rafe, standing in his driveway, looking up. "are you talking to me?"

"unless there's someone else sitting on their roof."

you smiled. "there isn't."

"you're gonna fall."

"i won't."

"you might."

"then i'll deal with it."

he folded his arms. "that's not very smart."

"coming from you?"

he actually smiled, just a little. you wasn't sure until you thought about it later that you'd ever seen him smile. "fair. you still reading those mystery books?"

you blinked. "yeah."

"figured."

"how?"

he shrugged. "you've always liked them."

you tilted your head. "you remember that?"

"i've got a good memory."

he disappeared inside before you could ask anything else. you stared after him. weird.

the following week, your mother sent you to the grocery store. you'd barely stepped inside before : "careful."

a carton of orange juice slipped from the top shelf. a hand caught it before it hit you.

"thanks."

rafe placed it back on the shelf. "you've got terrible luck."

"or good luck."

"how?"

"someone keeps stopping things from hitting me."

he blinked. you smiled. grabbed the cereal you'd come for and wandered off. for the rest of the afternoon he couldn't stop thinking about that smile.

"you're distracted." ward didn't bother looking up from his paperwork. rafe kept staring out the kitchen window.

"...am not."

"you've buttered the same piece of toast for three minutes."

rafe looked down. the toast was almost white from how much butter he'd spread on it.

ward hid a smile.

the first football game of the school year was always the biggest event on the island. students packed the bleachers. parents screamed themselves hoarse. the cheerleaders somehow smiled through ninety-degree heat. you mostly went because jj insisted.

"you're wearing my hoodie." he grinned proudly as the two of you climbed the bleachers.

"mine got wet."

"so naturally you stole mine."

"borrowed."

"indefinitely."

"exactly."

you settled beside kiara. jj disappeared toward pope. halfway through the game you felt someone sit on the bench behind you.

"hey."

you looked back. rafe. "hi."

he looked like he wanted to say something. instead, "you supportin' the team now?"

you looked down at the hoodie then laughed. "it's jj's."

"oh." he nodded once, looked away, stood back up and left.

kiara watched him disappear then slowly turned toward you. "what was that?"

"i genuinely have no idea."

neither did rafe. he'd crossed the field before realizing he'd forgotten why he'd walked over in the first place. he hadn't planned anything. hadn't even thought. he'd just... seen you and moved.

"you alright, man?" kelce frowned.

rafe blinked. "yeah."

"you look sick."

"do i?"

"a little."

he felt sick. all he'd been able to think about — standing behind you— was how jj's hoodie looked on you. how naturally you'd worn it. how everyone around you had acted like it made perfect sense.

because... it did. you and jj had always fit & he hated how much that thought bothered him.

"earth to rafe." topper snapped his fingers.

"what?"

"i asked if you're coming tonight."

"where?"

"bonfire."

"yeah." he answered automatically, already wondering if you'd be there. that terrified him. he wasn't supposed to care where you were. he wasn't supposed to notice which books you read or remember your favourite biscuits.

or know that every thursday your mum made homemade soup because your dad worked late. he wasn't supposed to know that your bedroom light stayed on until almost midnight because you always read before sleeping.

he wasn't supposed to know any of it. and yet he did. he'd always known. he just had never questioned why until now.

later that night, he found an old shoebox while cleaning his wardrobe. inside were photographs from neighbourhood barbecues, birthday parties, school fairs, the lot.

he laughed quietly. there you were, age seven. missing your front teeth. holding a melting ice cream.

another. age ten, covered in paint after some school fundraiser.

another. age twelve, standing between jj and pope, laughing so hard your eyes were closed.

he stared for a long time. "what the hell?" he whispered to himself.

somehow, without ever trying, you were in almost every memory he had. not always beside him. sometimes across the room. sometimes in the background. sometimes blurry.

but... always there. for the very first time rafe cameron wondered if maybe... just maybe... he'd never actually been trying to annoy you at all. maybe he'd just never figured out another reason to talk to you.

© BITTERSWEETLYBLUE 2026. do not copy, translate, edit my work then claim it as your own, attempt to plagarise or repost it on any other website nor feed into AI. you will be blocked.

taglist: @heathandrewstarkey , @corallandtragedy3 , @awrad2 , @filthyrafe , @bonjourjiminie , @dopepeacedestiny , @unicornyogakween , @eerilyjaggedconstruct , @heartsforvenus , @skkeletonns , @bonni-98 , @ljh22 , @shmd-nora , @harrrrystylesslut , @angel06babysworld , @rosiecherie , @loveislikeathunder , @shewants7 , @ssugartalkin , @kurtcobaintbh , @ana09hb , @be0m9yu, @octoberbxby , @joelmillrenthusiast , @drewsbby , @sex-the1975 , @rafesbunnygirl , @yogurts-things , @justacloverrr , @mar7vamp , @miaisboredd , @selfcontollover07 , @russianscream , @maddiefuckingperez , @mimimeowxzs , @77uchiha77 , @iamtheraine , @applespider0 , @wildflowerwildfire1201 , @drewstarkeyswife-7 , @faye7winter , @crystallinene , @bronsonmeydiluver , @notvickyyy ,@rcamerons , @ninavie , @kravitzwhore , @pinkdaydreamsblog , @writteninpinkpen , @songkangslvr , @loveforbucky , @saintlaurentcowboyyy , @justleftdaliquorsto , @kksturns , @lissaexe , @pinkitty97 , @houseofcupids , @cooper8224 , @isastarset , @iyannaunicorn , @yohatsmyname , @my-therapist-hates-me , @writteninpinkpen , @songkangslvr , @itztimeeee

reblogs and comments are very much appreictaed!

[bittersweetlyblue]

babe pls do a love triangle between jj and rafe pls plss been trying to look for fics/oneshots like this but cant find anyyyy!! i want jj and rafe fighting over reader then rafe being a massive yearnerr AGHHH!!! (ps rafe ends up with reader please pleaseee)

babe yes. pretty sure i have a oneshot in my drafts but i shall get to writing and it should be out soon 🫡

[bittersweetlyblue]

AN: so this was supposed to be a different trend but i wrote this one based on a request but i'll do the request later this week

it starts from sarah sending you the video.

you do. twice, then immediately grin. rafe is absolutely the type to either not notice... or treat you climbing on him like the most normal thing in the world. there's no in-between.

he's outside on the back porch when you find him, legs stretched out across the outdoor sofa & one hand lazily scrolling through his phone. it's one of those quiet afternoons where neither of you are really doing anything. perfect: you silently prop your own phone against a flowerpot & hit recor then wander over.

rafe glances up for half a second. "hey, sweetheart."

"hi."

he hums, goes back to his phone. you casually sit beside him. nothing, he doesn't even look up. phase two: you lean against his shoulder. still nothing. he simply shifts his arm without thinking, letting you get comfortable like it's muscle memory. phase three. you slowly swing one leg over his lap. rafe absentmindedly moves his phone out of the way. "careful."

you're already trying not to laugh.phase four.

you decide to fully commit. very dramatically, you climb into his lap, both knees on either side of him, arms wrapping around his shoulders, cheek resting against the side of his head.

rafe pauses his scrolling. "...comfortable?"

"mhm."

"good."

he just keeps scrolling. you blink. "that's it?"

he finally looks up. "what?"

"you're not gonna ask why i'm climbing all over you?"

he frowns slightly. "why would i?"

you stare. "because..." gesture vaguely. "i'm climbing all over you."

rafe shrugs. "yeah. you're my girlfriend."

you refuse to give up so you make yourself even heavier, basically melting on top of him until he's forced to support almost all of your weight. he adjusts automatically, one arm wrapping securely around your waist. the other still holding his phone.

"there." he says quietly. "don't wanna fall."

you blink again. "rafe."

"hm?"

"am i annoying you?"

he actually laughs. a proper laugh, looking up at you like you've asked whether the sky is green. "baby." he reaches up and brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. "if i didn't want you sittin' on me..." his hand squeezes gently at your side. "i would've told you."

"really?"

"yeah."

"so you're okay with this?"

"i'm more confused why you're askin' permission to cuddle me."

your heart does a stupid little flip. after another minute, rafe notices your phone. still recording. "you makin' one of those videos?"

you immediately hide your face in his neck. "maybe."

he chuckles. "which one?"

"the climbing on my boyfriend one."

"that's what this was?"

you nod against him. rafe snorts. "thought you were just bein' clingy."

"i was testing you."

he looks genuinely offended. "for what?"

"to see if you'd tell me to get off."

he stares at you for a long moment, then gently cups your face. "why would i tell my favorite person to stop hugging me?"

"that's cheating."

"how's that cheating?"

"you're supposed to fail."

"don't think i can." his thumb brushes your cheek. "m'like when you're close."

"you're ruining the trend."

he smiles into your hair. "good."

"rafe!"

"what?"

"you're supposed to be annoyed."

he laughs softly. "baby..." his arms tighten around you until you're practically glued to his chest. "i spent years wishing someone would choose me like this. you think i'm gonna complain because my girl won't stop cuddlin' me?"

you don't answer.

later that evening, you post the video. the comments are full of people laughing because halfway through, it completely stops looking like a prank. it just looks like a couple who forgot the camera was there. somewhere around the two-minute mark, rafe puts his phone down entirely & starts rubbing slow circles against your back, presses a kiss against your temple without thinking.

eventually starts talking to you about absolutely nothing while you're still draped across him like a weighted blanket. when you show him the comments later, he only shrugs.

"they're actin' like it's weird."

"isn't it?"

he looks at you, genuinely puzzled. "sweetheart." he smiles. "you're always welcome up here." then pats his lap. "even when there isn't a trend."

© BITTERSWEETLYBLUE. do not copy, translate, edit my work then claim it as your own, attempt to plagarise or repost it on any other website nor feed into AI. you will be blocked.

taglist: @heathandrewstarkey , @corallandtragedy3 , @awrad2 , @filthyrafe , @bonjourjiminie , @dopepeacedestiny , @unicornyogakween , @eerilyjaggedconstruct , @heartsforvenus , @skkeletonns , @bonni-98 , @ljh22 , @shmd-nora , @harrrrystylesslut , @angel06babysworld , @rosiecherie , @loveislikeathunder , @shewants7 , @ssugartalkin , @kurtcobaintbh , @ana09hb , @be0m9yu, @octoberbxby , @joelmillrenthusiast , @drewsbby , @sex-the1975 , @rafesbunnygirl , @yogurts-things , @justacloverrr , @mar7vamp , @miaisboredd , @selfcontollover07 , @russianscream , @maddiefuckingperez , @mimimeowxzs , @77uchiha77 , @iamtheraine , @applespider0 , @wildflowerwildfire1201 , @drewstarkeyswife-7 , @faye7winter , @crystallinene , @bronsonmeydiluver , @notvickyyy ,@rcamerons , @ninavie , @kravitzwhore , @pinkdaydreamsblog , @writteninpinkpen , @songkangslvr , @loveforbucky , @saintlaurentcowboyyy , @justleftdaliquorsto , @kksturns , @lissaexe , @pinkitty97 , @houseofcupids , @cooper8224 , @isastarset , @iyannaunicorn , @yohathatsmyname , @my-therapist-hates-me , @writteninpinkpen , @songkangslvr , @itztimeeee

[bittersweetlyblue]

hiii i’m the anon from the rafe x reader series ask

YAYAYAAYYAYAYY

PLEASEEE do it omggg

i’ve been waiting AGES for someone to do it i could literally cry rn i love u sm🥹🥹

i can certainly try!! i do have many other requests to get to but would you be able to send me more details? (you can add a note if you don’t want me to keep posting your asks) i love this idea but im a little confused on how it would work 😭 do you mean just as in rafe killing sheriff peterkin and the events he does or something more? im so sorry if this sounds rude but yes i would most certainly love to do this request and please dont cry 😭🖤

[bittersweetlyblue]

hey girl! would u ever do a rafe series x reader where it follows the show?

love u <33

as in it’s the whole plot of the show? also i love you too 🥺

[bittersweetlyblue]

ok, so this might be the most basic thing ever but I was wondering if you can do a maybank!reader where her and rafe are in a secret relationship and reader is keeping it from JJ because she’s too scared to find out his reaction and one day JJ catches them, and the rest is up to you also, can you make it like super angsty and sad (every fanfic i’ve been seeing on my feed is just pure smut and its kind of annoying) please don’t feel obligated to do this thank you so much and i love your work 🥹🫰

[bittersweetlyblue]

there are exactly three people in the world who know about you and rafe. you, rafe & the moon. somehow every important conversation seems to happen after midnight.

you've never kissed him beneath the sun. never held his hand where anyone could see. never let him walk you home.

instead, he parks his truck at the edge of figure eight long after everyone else has gone to bed, and you sneak out through your bedroom window like you're eighteen again instead of twenty-four.

it's ridiculous. and yet every time he smiles at you across the hood of his truck, every time he reaches over the center console to lace his fingers through yours, every time he quietly says, "missed you, sweetheart," you convince yourself the secrecy is temporary.

just until you figure out how to tell jj. just until there's a right time. just until... you stop lying to yourself. there is no right time. there never will be.

"he's gonna hate me."

you're lying with your head in rafe's lap, watching the stars while he absentmindedly runs his fingers through your hair.

"he already hates me."

"that's different."

"how?"

"because now he'd hate you."

rafe smiles faintly. "think i'm used to that."

you sit up. "don't joke."

"wasn't." he says it so simply that your chest aches. you know his reputation. you know how many chances he's wasted, how many bridges he's burned.

jj has spent years telling you exactly what he thinks of rafe cameron. selfish. dangerous. a spoiled rich kid who only ever hurts people. and maybe, once upon a time, he wasn't entirely wrong.

you cup rafe's face between your hands. "you're not him anymore."

his eyes search yours. "you sure?"

you don't answer with words. you kiss him instead.

keeping the secret starts to hurt but not because of rafe. every lie to jj feels heavier than the last.

"where were you last night?"

"kelcie wanted help moving."

lie.

"why're you smiling?"

"nothing."

lie.

"who keeps texting you?"

"work."

lie. lie. lie.

jj doesn't notice. not at first. he trusts you too much.

it's pope who almost catches on. you're all eating at the chateau when your phone buzzes across the table. the screen lights up.

rafe 🤍

your heart stops. without thinking, you flip the phone over. too quickly. pope raises an eyebrow.

"everything okay?"

"yeah."

your voice comes out too fast. "just spam."

jj barely glances up from his plate. "block it."

you force a smile. "yeah."

"i hate lying to him."

rafe's sitting on the tailgate of his truck, your legs draped across his lap. he nods. "i know."

"he's my brother."

"i know."

"he's gonna think i chose you over him."

rafe looks away, toward the ocean. "maybe don't tell him."

you stare. "what?"

"if this is what it costs." he shrugs once, trying to sound casual. "i'll take the secret." you know him well enough to hear what he isn't saying. i'd rather have half of you than lose you completely.

your heart breaks a little. "rafe..."

"i mean it." he gives you a small smile. "i've lived with people hatin' me before."

you reach for his hand immediately. "i'm not hiding you because i'm ashamed."

"i know."

"i'm hiding you because i'm scared."

"i know."

that's the problem. he always knows.

it happens on a sunday. the kind of humid afternoon where the air feels too thick to breathe. jj tells you he's heading out fishing with pope. you tell him you're going into town. another lie. rafe's waiting for you at an empty stretch of beach. the one nobody really visits anymore.

you spend hours there. at one point you rest your head against his shoulder. "this feels normal."

he hums. "yeah."

"i wish it was."

he kisses the top of your head. "me too."

you never hear the truck pull up. never hear footsteps in the sand. the first thing you hear is your name. not softly, not gently. just: "what the hell?"

your entire body goes rigid. rafe turns before you do. his face immediately drains of color.

jj.

standing twenty feet away. fishing gear still in the bed of his truck. looking at the two of you like the world has just split open beneath his feet. his eyes flick down, to where rafe's hand is still holding yours, then back up again.

"...tell me i'm seein' things."

nobody answers. nobody can. there is nothing left to deny.

jj laughs. one short, disbelieving laugh. "you're kidding." he looks at you. "you're with him?"

your throat closes. "jj —"

"no." his voice cracks. "don't 'jj' me."

he points at rafe. "him?"

rafe slowly stands. "maybank —"

"don't."

jj's head snaps toward him. "you don't get to say my name. how long?" jj asks without looking away from you. wehn you're silent, he barks out aggressively, "how long?"

"eight months."

he just stares like he genuinely can't process the number. "eight..." he laughs again. "eight months." his eyes start glistening. "eight months." every repetition hurts more. "every dinner." he looks at you. "every time i asked where you were, you lied."

tears blur your vision. "i was scared."

"of me?"

"yes."

the honesty lands like a slap. jj physically recoils. "wow."

"jj, please."

"no." he shakes his head. "don't stand there cryin' now." he looks between the two of you. "you made me feel stupid."

"you weren't—"

"i defended you." his voice rises. "every single time somebody said you were actin' weird, i told 'em they were wrong." his eyes find yours again. "turns out i was the only idiot who didn't know."

"this isn't her fault." rafe finally speaks.

jj spins toward him. "shut your mouth."

"i'm serious."

"you think i care?" rafe doesn't move, doesn't argue. just quietly says, "i told her not to tell you."

you immediately look at him. "rafe —"

"it's true."

jj laughs bitterly. "how noble."

"i didn't wanna be the reason she lost her brother."

"too late."

the words are barely above a whisper but they hit harder than anything else, too late. jj leaves. he doesn't yell again, doesn't throw a punch. doesn't even look back. he just gets in his truck and drives away.

he doesn't answer your calls. or your texts. or the dozen voicemails where you're crying too hard to finish a sentence. days become weeks. everyone notices something happened. nobody asks.

pope figures it out anyway. he doesn't say anything. just squeezes your shoulder one afternoon before quietly walking away.

one evening you find jj sitting alone on the dock. he hears your footsteps but doesn't turn around. you stop a few feet behind him. "i miss you." silence. "i know you hate me." more silence. "but i miss my brother."

his shoulders tense. "that's funny." his voice is tired. "i miss my sister."

"jj..."

"the one i had would've told me." he finally looks at you, eyes red & hurt. "you let me find out like everyone else."

tears spill freely now. "i never wanted that."

"but it's what happened."

you nod. it is.

"does he make you happy?" the question catches you off guard.

"yes."

jj closes his eyes, takes a slow breath. "then i'm tryin' real hard not to hate you for that." he stands, walks past you, then stops, without looking back, he quietly says, "i'm not ready to forgive either of you."

your heart sinks. "but..."

he swallows. "i don't wanna lose my sister forever, either."

© BITTERSWEETLYBLUE. do not copy, translate, edit my work then claim it as your own, attempt to plagarise or repost it on any other website nor feed into AI. you will be blocked.

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based on this request, thank you!

[bittersweetlyblue]

the agreement is that it's never supposed to be anything. no labels, dates, "what are we?" just two people who fuck conveniently and end up in each other's beds more often than they should.

"keep it casual."

"easy."

rafe laughs when he says it.

you nod like your heart isn't already making promises your mouth never would.

it starts with convenience, then habit. and before you know it, then suddenly it's two in the morning and you're asleep in his bed for the fourth night in a row. your toothbrush quietly appears beside his. your shampoo somehow ends up in his shower. one of your hoodies gets mixed in with his laundry.

nobody acknowledges it. acknowledging it would mean admitting this stopped being casual a long time ago.

rafe starts doing things that don't make sense for someone who "doesn't want a relationship." which you ironically used to make fun of your friends for doing.

he "casually" remembers your coffee order, fills up your gas tank because he noticed the light was on, texts you when you get home, keeps snacks in his kitchen that only you eat. buys your favorite cereal without realizing he's doing it. then still insists, "don't make this weird." like he isn't already acting like somebody's boyfriend.

you stop seeing other people first. not because he asks you to. because every date feels unfair. every conversation feels like you're comparing them to someone you promised yourself you wouldn't fall for.

they laugh. you wonder if rafe would've laughed harder. they reach for your hand. it doesn't feel right because you already feel someone else's.

eventually you stop accepting dates altogether. he never notices.

then one night somebody asks if you're together. you smile before you can stop yourself.

rafe answers first. "nah."

just one word. so easy, so effortless, like denying you doesn't hurt him at all. your smile disappears before anyone notices. except rafe does. and he spends the rest of the night pretending he didn't.

after that, you start pulling away. you stop sleeping over, stop reaching for his hand absentmindedly. stop bringing groceries over because "you were already at the store." you stop leaving little pieces of yourself at his house and suddenly his place feels empty.

rafe doesn't understand why he's so irritated all the time. why the house is so quiet. why he keeps checking his phone expecting a text that never comes. why he keeps opening the fridge and staring at the strawberry yogurt he bought out of habit. you haven't eaten strawberry yogurt in his kitchen for three weeks.

he still bought it anyway.

"you busy tonight?"

"yeah."

"tomorrow?"

"i've got plans."

"since when?"

"since you said this was casual."

he stares at the message for almost an hour.

the first time he sees you with someone else, he actually feels sick. real nauseous, vomiting, i'm-going-to-vomit sick. he knows it's his fault, because that's what casual means, isn't it?

no promises. no exclusivity. no right to be upset. so why does it feel like someone reached into his chest and stole something?

he waits until you're alone. "who's that?"

you shrug. "a guy."

"you like him?"

"maybe."

his jaw clenches. "thought we had a thing."

you laugh, except it doesn't sound amused. "we don't."

"this isn't the same."

your eyes finally meet his. "you told everyone it was."

that sentence follows him home, echoes around his bedroom, sits beside him in the passenger seat and screams at him during his lectures.

you told everyone it was.

you aren't lying. he did, over and over again. to his friends. to strangers. to himself. maybe if he called it casual enough times, it wouldn't matter that he couldn't sleep without you anymore.

the fight happens because neither of you knows how to communicate. "i never said i didn't care."

"you never said you did."

"you knew."

"i shouldn't have had to guess."

"i'm here, aren't i?"

"that's not enough anymore."

"i love you." he says it too late. of course he does. rafe has always been a second too late. one conversation too late. one apology too late.

one confession too late.

you close your eyes. "i know. that's what makes it so unfair."

"stay." it's the smallest you've ever heard him sound. not rafe cameron. just... a boy. loving someone louder than he knows how to admit.

it was never casual to him either.

he was just the last person willing to admit it.

© BITTERSWEETLYBLUE. do not copy, translate, edit my work then claim it as your own, attempt to plagarise or repost it on any other website nor feed into AI. you will be blocked.

taglist: @heathandrewstarkey , @corallandtragedy3 , @awrad2 , @filthyrafe , @bonjourjiminie , @dopepeacedestiny , @unicornyogakween , @eerilyjaggedconstruct , @heartsforvenus , @skkeletonns , @bonni-98 , @ljh22 , @shmd-nora , @harrrrystylesslut , @angel06babysworld , @rosiecherie , @loveislikeathunder , @shewants7 , @ssugartalkin , @kurtcobaintbh , @ana09hb , @be0m9yu, @octoberbxby , @joelmillrenthusiast , @drewsbby , @sex-the1975 , @rafesbunnygirl , @yogurts-things , @justacloverrr , @mar7vamp , @miaisboredd , @selfcontollover07 , @russianscream , @maddiefuckingperez , @mimimeowxzs , @77uchiha77 , @iamtheraine , @applespider0 , @wildflowerwildfire1201 , @drewstarkeyswife-7 , @faye7winter , @crystallinene , @bronsonmeydiluver , @notvickyyy ,@rcamerons , @ninavie , @kravitzwhore , @pinkdaydreamsblog , @writteninpinkpen , @songkangslvr , @loveforbucky , @saintlaurentcowboyyy , @justleftdaliquorsto , @kksturns , @lissaexe , @pinkitty97 , @houseofcupids , @cooper8224 , @isastarset , @iyannaunicorn , @yohathatsmyname , @my-therapist-hates-me , @writteninpinkpen , @songkangslvr , @itztimeeee