Lost And Found

23 years old, Catholic girl

[raggedfortunetwist]

I will never understand Christian nationalists and nationalists in general

Who told them, that they’re the only “God protected nation”? Who gave them the right to think, that He is only with them and nobody else?

It’s darkly comical to see how two nationalists meet and both believe, that God is only on one side in this and, of course, it’s their side only

For the same reason I hated rapture, when Christian world kind of went crazy this autumn. How are people so sure, they’ll go to Heaven and everybody else, of course, will stay in apocalypse on Earth?

Especially when mothers said goodbyes to their babies, because they believe they’ll go to Heaven, but their child won’t. Excuse me, dear… That child will get there faster, than you can dream of. If October’s rapture was even true

I think, it was a one big test from God. Kind of, “Here, guys, let’s reveal all the hypocrites”

And yes, I can connect these two, because if you believe today, that you’re superior to your neighbour, tomorrow you’ll believe, that you’re superior over other nations. And both are lies

[raggedfortunetwist]

I don’t even remember how I became Christian. No, really. I didn’t have any life-changing experiences. No signs, no specific events.

It’s like I was floating on my on and the Holy Spirit just hugged me. And I can’t be the same again

I can’t even say, that I was particularly asking for it. But now I see, that I needed it

[raggedfortunetwist]

I watched “Young Pope” quite some time ago. And one scene never left me. Young Pope told a weeping nun not to cry over her dead sister, because Christians don’t cry about it, they celebrate, that a dead Christian went to see Jesus

And I so highly disagreed, that it never left me. It’s one thing, when you’re unable to let go of a dead person. But completely another is to cry on their funeral

Cry. It’s alright. Your closest person went to Jesus, yes, but you still lost a friend. Christians don’t talk to dead people, because they’re not here. Only demons can answer to those talks. But crying and expressing is okay. Cry and pray. Pray for their rest in peace, for their judgement to be fair. Pray to God to help you overcome those tears. But cry. It’s okay

Jesus wept

And He wept in shared grief as well

[raggedfortunetwist]

When I think about my relationships with God, I see him as a father and myself as a child. A very curious one.

He leads me. I stumble and fall, he picks me up, so we can walk again. I see something aside from the path he’s leading me. And I run to it. And I get lost.

But he never lost me. He was watching. Patiently, silently. Letting the child explore, loving the child’s curiosity and hating everything, that wants to harm the child. He was allowing me to run.

So when I’ll cry, He can pick me up and return where I belong. And I won’t protest. Because I chose it. Because I cried and called for Him

Because He’s the one, who allowed it. Because He knew, I’ll run aside again. But He lets it be. Because nothing truly can shake his plan. And only what He allows will happen.

I am not yet saved and I am still on my way. But He never left me